Disclaimer: FUCK YOU GUYS, I DON'T OWN SHIT.
~Fic start!~
Ryoko: "Wait a minute."
Light: "What's wrong?"
Ryoko: "How many episodes has it been since we've seen Squakers?"
Light: "I think he died when the ship smashed into the mountain."
Ryoko: "Rest in peace, dear Squakers..."
*there is a moment of silence*
Firion: "So, who's Squakers?"
Light: "Some chocobo that carried us from Igros to Warjilis."
Firion: "Oh."
Lynn: "Hey, um. Guys? Can I talk to you?"
Aria: "Is something wrong?"
Lynn: "It's... it's this whole thing. It's been pretty hectic and... well..."
Aria: "You want out?"
Lynn: "I didn't say that, it's just I'm... getting kinda bored."
Firion: "Bored? With all that happens here?"
Lynn: "You guys have done nothing but give me guidance and a family, and I appreciate that, but..." *rips off the dress that Mateus put on her to reveal she wasn't naked underneath* "Kuja can't stand me, and the one guy my age isn't exactly making his moves." *pats Aria and Ryoko on the shoulder* "I need some time off." *slowly walks off-stage very tiredly*
Ryoko: "I wonder what brought that on?"
Aria: "Maybe the fact that she might feel ignored or pushed away?"
Firion: "Maybe living together, we create such an awkwardness that it sparks these kind of weird things just to happen. Our inner awkwardness is taking it out on us."
Light: "Are you saying that this fanfic is a result of just us living together?!"
Firion: "To put it bluntly, yes. I am!"
Ryoko: "If this is the case, perhaps we should all live separate."
Aria: "I don't think that's a good idea."
Firion: "Why not?"
Aria: "Because the reason why my chocobos had to die in their scripted battle is because I wasn't there with them. If I was in the battle, I could have averted the whole thing. We can't separate, or we'll keep crossing paths like this over things that could very well be prevented."
Light: "Hmm, you may be right."
Firion: "So you're saying that instead of violently taking it out on Light and Ryoko, you're keeping them prisoner as compensation."
Aria: "I suppose that's one way of looking at it."
Ryoko: "Now that we have the logistics of our party organized, we really should be heading over to Zeltienna to check on Lord Bahamut."
*suddenly a newspaper boy runs through*
Newspaper Boy: "EXTRA, EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT! LORD OF ALL CREATION NO LONGER IN ZELTIENNA! OBSERVERS MYSTIFIED AS TO HIS DISAPPERANCE!"
Ryoko: "...what?" *goes up to the newspaper boy* "Here, have twelve mesetas. Gimme a paper."
Aria: "Says here on my newspaper app on my phone that Bahamut left when he was greeted by a... racoon with a keyboard."
Ryoko: "Why didn't you just check that app?! I could have saved some mesetas!"
Light: "This world doesn't even use Mesetas!"
Firion: "How... did you get otherworldly currency?"
Light: "It happened during our quest to reach Zeltienna. Warjilis had all sorts of different kinds of currencies hidden in different places."
Ryoko: "Well if Bahamut is gone... then I don't have to wear that damned dress!"
Light: "He should make it anyway."
Aria: "You have something in mind?"
Light: "I just might. Anyway, thinking about what happened in Warjilis, perhaps that's the epicenter of all the trouble happening here in Ivalice. It might be the place where all the worlds combine."
Ryoko: "Whoa."
Aria: "I suppose I'll have to call Alis."
Ryoko: "huh? Why? Things are relatively peaceful right now."
Aria: "She got a new airship."
Light: "That's handy."
Aria: "She also wants us all to live on it."
Ryoko: "..."
Light: O_o;
Firion: "It seems like it would be useful, but..."
Ryoko: "Alis' reputation as a pilot isn't that great. She's a better theif than a pilot."
Light: "Yeah, I always got that feeling, too."
Ryoko: "She stole her first airship when we were young, and we lived on it for a while. Then she crashed it."
Firion: "You mean the one she had before wasn't her first?"
Ryoko: "Hell no. She's crashed seven before the one she had when you first met her. I don't want to live on her airship again. I hated being stranded at Fort Zeakden for three months. It was terrible."
Aria: "You guys were the ones who crashed into Fort Zeakden?!"
Ryoko: "Every airship accident from my escape from Lesalia has been hers. No one but Setzer owns airships around here anyway. The technology was extinct for years but Setzer fell through one of Alis' rips in space-time and went to Goug to be able to recover the ability to build airships."
Firion: "Really?"
Ryoko: "Yeah."
Firion: "Well it doesn't sound like one of Lynn's history lessons, so I think it's pretty believable."
Light: *has to hold back a laugh*
Aria: "Well, if we're going to Warjilis..." *pulls out her phone and dials Alis up* "Yeah we're ready. Beam me up, Ally."
Ryoko: "Oh. That reference! Right in the nostalgia!"
Aria: "SHUT UP."
*they warp up into the ship*
Alis: "Hey, everyone! Huh? Where's Lynn?"
Ryoko: "She decided she needed a break."
Squall: "Another one."
Firion: "What does that mean?"
Alis: "Nothing important. I just... had something I needed to tell Lynn, but if she's not here, we'll have to wait."
Ryoko: "Everything has to wait. Bahamut's gone missing from Zeltienna. From what Light figured out based on what we found in Warjilis, it's very likely that's the epicenter of all our trouble."
Alis: "What do you mean?"
Light: "We think it's where the worlds are meeting."
Alis: "And you want to take us there?!"
Firion: "Why not?"
Alis: "Ryoko, you have to realize how bad of a plan this is! You know about my powers personally. You can't condone going there."
Ryoko: *crosses her arms* "I'll go. You don't have to."
Alis: "But there's a chance that I'll never see you again! If it IS the epicenter of the worlds starting to collide, then you'll be warped to a world that... that's further than I can reach. You might slip through a crack and fall to a universe I can't get you back from."
Ryoko: "Someone has to take that chance!"
Alis: "Not you! anyone but you!"
Ryoko: "This is my duty!"
Alis: "No. It's not! Your mission was to get to Lord Bahamut and send him back home. Well guess what? He's gone. You have no reason to be involved any longer. Stay here, where it's safe."
Ryoko: "Yeah, so you can crash our house again in some goddess forsaken deserted area of Ivalice again, like you did thirteen years ago?"
Alis: "I was a lot younger then!"
Light: "Alis... it's not your call to make."
Alis: "SHUT UP!"
Ryoko: *glass breaking noise*
Aria: "Uh oh..."
Firion: "I heard it, too."
Ryoko: "You will not address Light that way."
Alis: "I will! He doesn't know you like I do."
Ryoko: "You will NOT." *pulls out her staff* "You want me to listen to you, Alis? You know everything there is to know about me? I challenge you to a duel!"
Alis: "Cool! I have a YuGiOh deck somewhere with me."
Ryoko: "...no, no, that's not what I meant! A DUEL."
Alis: "Oh! You want to fight? Well that's simply barbaric."
Squall: *facepalm*
Ryoko: "You're not my guardian anymore. You don't have to keep watch over me constantly like I used to."
Squall: "All right, all right." *steps between Ryoko and Alis* "I think it's time we have a nice orgy or something to lighten the mood."
Firion: *looks like he wants to scream "WHAT THE FUCK" but he can't quite get it out*
Ryoko: *slaps him away*
Squall: "I didn't say you had to fuck everyone in the room! Listen, Ryo-chan. You could destress. Take Light into your room and let him have it all. It works for Alis. Taking it all out on me is how she stopped herself from killing Kratos a few times."
Ryoko: *even louder glass breaking sound*
*the entire ship starts filling with a very cold, harsh wind. Even when the windows are closed, wind blows. It's not coming from the outside!*
Light: "Oh Great Cosmos, you're breaking each barrier on her sanity!"
Aria: "Huh? Is that what that sound is?"
Light: *pulls out a chart from under his armor and unfolds it, showing weird diagrams and charts. It looks REALLY complicated* "My personal theory is that people tend to be good at holding back what their base desires say to do. But when you hit a particular note, sometimes a piece of their barrier will break. It sounds like cracking glass. The louder the sound gets, the closer you get to releasing all the inner anger that person has inside them. From what I've learned about Ryoko since saving her is that she has quite a bit of anger tucked inside her heart. Alis has struck a nerve twice. I don't expect it to hold much longer."
Alis: "Hey, I didn't bring up Kratos!"
Firion: "You're more knowledgable than I gave you credit for, Light."
Light: "You don't spend so long with Ryoko and not learn something about the inner workings of the universe."
Ryoko: *eyes are glowing red*
Firion: *does his best Keanu Reeves impression* "Whoa."
Light: "Alis! Squall! You must apologize! Before you break the bond permanently, you have to apologize!"
Aria: "Holy shit. I don't think I've ever seen her so mad before."
Firion: "Mentioning that Karrots or whatever his name was really pushed her over the edge."
Light: "Who knew that name held so much meaning...?" *points at Alis and Squall* "You had to have known it, or you wouldn't have said something like that."
Squall: "I wasn't trying to provoke her! I was just saying that back in the day, back when the only way to meet people from other worlds was time magic, back when she got lost in Aselia and lived there for twenty years of their time... well, it was all different. Ryoko considers Aselia her second home. If Light hadn't come here to us, she would have kept going back there. She knows that... that her guardian angel fought with Alis almost every time they were around each other, but she didn't care. She loved him anyway. Alis wanted to murder him every step of the way. Ryoko never knew just how angry Alis got, and she took the anger out on me! I was just saying it would be a way for her to vent, that's all."
Light: "Ryoko is right. We can't live with you. There is too much history between you for it to be cohesive or peaceful."
Ryoko: "You said his name just... because you know it hurts my pride."
Squall: "That's not true!"
Ryoko: "You said his name to remind me... that I've been very bad at keeping my word."
Squall: "You know that's not true!"
Ryoko: "You said it because you know that if I had the chance to go back to Aselia and stay, I would do it. Without hesitation."
Alis: "You know you would, and then I would have to keep going back after you to keep you here in Ivalice, where you belong."
Ryoko: "All I ever wanted when I was a kid was to escape Ivalice! I hated having to live my life in secrecy! Why did you keep going back to get me?! Was it because you were so lonely?!"
Alis: "Ryoko, no! It wasn't for my own good that you had to stay here. Think back. The reason why you ran from Lesalia. Your mana is incredibly powerful! If either Order during the war got a hold of you, they could have easily brought Ivalice to its knees! Why do you think YOU'RE the one who falls into other worlds when I try to teleport you long distances? You are my catalyst! My time magic would be a pittance without you close to me! Anyone could use and abuse your power, including the villains in Aselia!"
Ryoko: "A tool of war..."
Alis: "That's right! That's why Dimitri ran away with you!"
Ryoko: "Even so. I'm still my own person, and you've always treated me like a runaway pet."
Light: "Alis, let me cut a deal with you, here and now."
Alis: ?
Ryoko: ?
Light: "I will protect Ryoko for the rest of my life. Under my care, she will not go to any other world. We will stay in Ivalice. That way you don't have to fear for her, and she still gets her freedom."
Aria: "It sounds like this a monumental task."
Light: "Would marrying Ryoko not be just a monumental task as this?"
Ryoko: !
Light: "She will be at my side anyway, so let's remove any of this baggage before we move forward with our lives."
Alis: "I'm not baggage!"
Light: "You will be, if you continue to be so overbearing like you are. I understand your concerns. I have them as well. But let me assure you, Alis, that if you keep up the way you are going, Ryoko will resent you for it. Let me take up the reigns."
Alis: "So you can treat her as her previous boyfriends did? Should I take that chance?"
Light: "I'm not asking you to gamble on her safety. I am not alone in this endeavor. Aria and Firion both forced us to agree to stay near them to prevent any mishaps in the future, so I know that it will not be much of an extention on our current deal to include this."
Aria: "I've looked after Lynn and Ryoko ever since I met them. Big sister complex and all. This won't be hard. I just keep those two out of trouble, which is relatively easy, and it'll all fall into place."
Alis: "I... I don't want to feel replaced."
Ryoko: *eyes go back to normal* "You're still my sister, Alis. But I... I think we need moer time apart than you're willing to give us. I care about you a lot. I care about everyone. But I need time to be myself. Have my own adventures. Sure, you saved my hide as a kid so much, but I think even you forgot how to be yourself at some point."
Alis: "...maybe you're right."
*the angry wind disappates and Ryoko looks a lot more sane*
Firion: "This is dramatic and all, but how the hell are we gonna solve the whole Warjilis issue?"
Alis: *half laughs* "Send in the crack ninjas?"