Thank you so much for the response to last chapter. I know it's heartbreaking, but it's how I envisioned the story since the very beginning. Anyway, I assure you there will be a happily ever after for Christian and Ana in this story.

Please note that Christian broke almost all contact with Elena when he realized he wanted more with Midnight Sun, so he knew nothing about her life and her submissives during the last months…

CHAPTER 26

Ana stared blankly at the ceiling above her. The closed blinds of her bedroom window made quite difficult to guess what time it was. She didn't mind at all, though; time bled painfully slowly as the minutes dragged into hours while she waited for Christian to acknowledge her attempts to contact him.

Her sobs and cries had given way to an overwhelming silence. He had refused to talk to her. Her calls to his mobile phone had gone to voicemail and the ones to his parents' or to Escala had been taken by a stressed Grace or an apologetic Gail, who excused him regretfully. What had gotten into him? Surely it had to be something more than the incident with Jose, but her tired mind didn't have a clue of his ulterior motive. She felt exhausted, broken and lost, but mostly she felt empty. All emotions had left her body, leaving her like a shell filled with a cold dread.

What if he had simply got tired of her, the plain and ordinary girl she was without him? Or even worse, what if he truly was struggling with some painful memories stirred by the date of his birthday? What if he sought the solace she couldn't give him into Elena's arms? The feeling of rejection stabbed her one more time and she rubbed her chest absentmindedly to ease away the sting of pain.

Closing her eyes, she pushed the button for the next song in the remote of her sound system. Another heartbreak song, from the endless list she had been listening to for two days.

What's the time?

Seems it's already morning

I see the sky, it's so beautiful and blue

The TV's on

But the only thing showing is a picture of you

Oh, I get up and make myself some coffee

I try to read a bit but the story's too thin

Then I thank the Lord above

That you're not there to see me

In this shape I'm in

Spending my time

Watching the days go by

Feeling so small

I stare at the wall

Hoping that you think of me too

I'm spending my time

Ana smiled bitterly. She was good at that: using other's ramblings to voice her own thoughts, finding the exact words throughout the music to supply her lack of courage. That precisely had been how she found him again, or rather how he found her.

_§ § 0 § §_

Meanwhile, Christian stared blankly at his unkempt bed, covered in his Egyptian linen sheets that he had torn into shreds during one of his boisterous outbursts of anger during the weekend. The very first of them had been in his office. Then in the library, where Taylor had taken him down just in time to save the numerous first editions that rested on its shelves. Finally, he had pounced over his bedroom and the en-suite bathroom, which held so many memories of her. When the anger subsided, a deep sadness and longing consumed him, and he began gathering all her things which had survived the throes of his fury. He was sitting on the floor, his back laying on the wall and his arms resting over his bent knees. His face, marred with dark circles under his eyes, showed a sorrowful expression. His hand flew absentmindedly and grabbed the dog-tags that hung loosely around his neck. They had appeared on the floor after flying out of her drawer just before it crashed on the bathroom mirror. At first, they had seemed to him a cruel joke, but now they were somehow comforting. He laid his head on the wall with a thud and closed his eyes. The mourning notes of a song ricocheted on the walls, voicing his thoughts. It was one of Ana's CDs, one of the few that had remained intact.

Sheets of empty canvas, untouched sheets of clay

Were laid spread out before me as her body once did.

All five horizons revolved around her soul as the earth to the sun

Now the air I tasted and breathed has taken a turn

Ooh, and all I taught her was everything

Ooh, I know she gave me all that she wore

And now my bitter hands chafe beneath the clouds of what was everything.

Oh, the pictures have all been washed in black, tattooed everything...

I take a walk outside, I'm surrounded by some kids at play

I can feel their laughter, so why do I sear?

Oh, and twisted thoughts that spin round my head, I'm spinning, oh,

I'm spinning, how quick the sun can drop away

And now my bitter hands cradle broken glass of what was everything

All the pictures have all been washed in black, tattooed everything...

All the love gone bad turned my world to black

Tattooed all I see, all that I am, all I'll be... yeah...

I know someday you'll have a beautiful life,

I know you'll be a star in somebody else's sky,

But why, why, why can't it be, can't it be mine?

He let out a breathless sob and ran a hand through his unruly hair. Ana had given him everything she had; he was certain about that. She had taught him to receive love, and he had given himself completely to her too… That was why he didn't understand her betrayal. That was why it hurt so much. It was not only the fact of losing her, but the way she had done it. And the way it made him feel: lost, irremediably sad and with a sentiment of self-pity that he hated. And in that moment, he wondered if he would be able to face life once again by his own, as he did before Ana. The answer came to him smoothly: definitely no. She had changed everything; he was a different man now. He might be able to survive, or he might not, but anyway it wouldn't be the same never again.

_§ § 0 § §_

Leila woke up to the sound of Jack's obnoxious snorts coming from the living room. She got out of bed, slightly lightheaded, and walked out of the room. He was watching some dumbass program on TV while drinking a beer.

"Good evening, sleepyhead. Come here." He said, straightening himself in the worn-out armchair to make room for her on his lap. Leila took the steps that separate them and settled on straddling him, as he used to like.

"What time is it?" She asked rubbing a hand over her eyes.

"It's almost six. You've slept all day long." Leila nodded. Jack lifted her chin with one single finger and winked at her. "You did well."

Leila tilted her head and kept silent. She didn't remember clearly all that had happened. But she somehow remembered the boy, despite the fact that, after Elena dragged him out of there, Jack had had his wicked way with her, making sure he erased any trace of the sweet boy. But she remembered the desperation behind his thrusts. His hands, that seemed to seek something beyond the physical plane. How he had claimed her, how he seemed not to have enough. And she remembered how he called her Ana.

"Did you enjoy watching?" She asked Jack, avoiding looking him directly in the eye.

"Yes, I enjoyed very much." He told her tapping her nose with a finger. "Although I enjoyed a lot more after he left." He added smirking.

"And do you prefer brunettes now?" She asked once again inspecting the ends of a lock of her darkened hair between two of her fingers.

"I don't mind at all." Jack answered.

"Will I have to put on those blue soft lenses again? They burnt my eyes."

"No, it won't be necessary." Jack chuckled. He caressed Leila's back until he reached her backside and grinded himself against her. Then, he reached to the table beside him and produced a small bag of plastic with little white pills in it. "Let's have some fun, shall we?"

Leila pursed her lips. She didn't want drugs. She wanted to stay sober until Monday. She had an important meeting; one that she had been praying for, although it scared her. The citation had arrived with a courier on Friday morning, in a neat white envelope, with a copy of the NDA she had signed some years ago. So, yeah, she didn't want to show up high. After all, it was one of his main rules, no drugs.

"Umm, I don't feel like using right now, Jack."

"The hell you don't." He grunted, shoving two pills in her mouth.

"Ok." She muttered resigned, swallowing them with a gulp of beer.

_§ § 0 § §_

"Do you know something more? I mean, look at him! There must be something we're missing! He is suffering! He hasn't slept at all during the weekend, he hasn't eaten either, and oh my God, I haven't entered his bedroom, but I imagine how it must be, judging by the state he left his office and the media room!" Gail whispered to Taylor while preparing breakfast. Christian had not eaten anything in two days, but she didn't relent in the task of offering him.

"You're right, Gail. There must be something going on, but I don't have idea, and the boss has kept his mouth shut. It's as if the grief were eating him from the inside." He whispered back, leaving a soft kiss on her temple. "There is that package, the one who was addressed to Ms. Steele…" He shook his head and sighed. "Anyway, it is nowhere to be seen, so it doesn't matter."

"Oh, and poor Ana! Do you know how is she doing?" Gail asked.

"Sawyer has kept an eye on her. She hasn't left her apartment either. It seems her behavior is similar to Mr. Grey's, minus the trashing."

"Taylor, Gail." Christian cold, empty voice startled them, ending their chit-chat.

"Good morning, Mr. Grey. Breakfast? I've prepared a mushroom omelet, but if you prefer something else…" Gail tried once again to feed him.

"Coffee, please." Christian cut her off without looking at her. He sat on a stool on the breakfast bar and pretended to read the economy section of the paper. In reality, the letters blurred into a grey mass in front of him. He couldn't look them in the eye; he felt a nagging embarrassment for showing such weakness during the previous days under his mask of controlled arrogance. He had showered, shaved, and was dressed in a flawless black suit with a black tie and a white shirt, although his ashen face and the dark circles under his eyes, paler than usual, could not disguise how he truly felt inside.

"Are we going to Grey House, sir?" Taylor asked in his usual neutral tone, hiding the astonishment of seeing him out of his bedroom and ready for work.

"Yes. But first we will make a detour. I have an irregular appointment somewhere else."

Christian had organized a meeting with Leila in a nondescript office building near the waterfront, where he used to interview his prospect submissives before signing the contracts. He needed to talk to her in order to assure she kept her mouth shut about their previous arrangement. Jack Hyde was dangerous, and he had proven himself capable of blackmail. He closed his eyes as vivid images of those photos tortured him. He had not looked at them since he kept them in his safe before running away, but they were etched in stone in his mind. He shut his eyes tight and bit his lip hard in a mask of pain. His hand reached to his chest and he felt the cool material of the dog-tags on his heated skin. It was torture, but they somehow kept him from trashing around once again.

Taylor eyed him through the rearview mirror, trying to guess what the real problem was, and find a solution. After all, his duty was to protect Mr. Grey, even if it was from himself. Maybe if he saw Ana again he would recover his common sense?

"Will you be also attending the appointment at Everybody's Possession at noon, sir?"

"Shit." Christian muttered. He had forgotten his meeting with Hyde, the one that he had requested after his trip to Tokyo to lash out about him manhandling Ana. But he couldn't do it. He would kill him with his bare hands. Or maybe he had to thank him for opening his eyes? No. He couldn't afford meeting with him right in that moment. And he couldn't afford seeing Ana either. A cold sweat covered his back. "No. Ask Andrea to cancel it."

Taylor nodded silently, disappointed with Christian's reaction.

_§ § 0 § §_

Ana squinted to protect her eyes from the brisk breeze that came from The Sound. After three days of self-imposed seclusion, she had fled from her apartment, avoiding Kate and Elliot's prying eyes when they forcefully left her alone to go to their respective jobs. She had called in sick, unable not only to relate with the people who might be considered her best friends but with the rest of the world too. So, she had escaped to a solitary area of the waterfront, relying on another kind of solitude with the sounds of the seagulls and the waves sloshing over the harbor.

"Ana Steele?" A male's voice asked behind her, turning her head to face the person. Ana's eyes widened with recognition.

"Um, Isaac…?" She asked, a hint of doubt lacing her words.

"Campbell." He answered with a tight smile. He stuffed his hands in the pocket of his faded jeans and rocked on his heels.

"Yeah, Campbell. Hi." She said with a halfhearted wave of her hand and a tired smile.

"I wasn't sure it was you. You look… different." He said eyeing her up and down. Her hair wasn't as shiny as he recalled, her beautiful eyes were a bit sunken and she was wearing a cardigan in spite the good weather. "Are you feeling well?"

"Yes. No." She shook her head and tightened her cardigan around her torso. "I'm not in my best moment." She chuckled sourly.

"Well, I guess everything is temporary, so the good times will come again." He said looking at the water. He was not at his best either. Elena had left him aside after having failed the mission of making the very same woman in front of him sign that god damned papers. He couldn't blame her though; Elena's motives surely were not good at all.

"I hope so." She whispered, most to herself.

After an awkward minute of silence, Isaac spoke again.

"So, do you want a coffee or something? My treat." He asked her, cocking his head to the side with a hopeful smile. He felt lonely, she seemed lonely too, and it would be nice to spend some time in the company of that beautiful woman. Ana's eyes darted to him with uncertainty, a frown appearing between the soft spot between her brows. "I could be really generous and make it a coffee and a doughnut?" He teased.

Ana smiled. It was shy and tiny, but it was the first smile in three days of agony. Her chest constricted once again, but she nodded anyway. "A coffee will be nice. It will warm me up."

_§ § 0 § §_

Christian looked at Leila from head to toe, a steely expression on his face that made her squirm in trepidation. She kept her head bowed, her eyes to the floor, but she didn't need to see him to feel his powerful presence. She took a deep breath to calm herself and exhaled slowly.

"You've dyed your hair." He said out of nowhere. Before her lack of response, he pinched his nose with exhaustion and leaned his back in the armchair he was sitting on with a sigh. "You may speak freely and look at me."

"Yes, I like it more this way." She answered, wondering if he thought the same.

"What is your relationship with Jack Hyde? Is he your Dom?" He asked without preamble.

"He's not my Dom; he doesn't know anything about the lifestyle."

"Does he know about our previous arrangement?" Christian leaned his elbows on the armrests and put his hands in front of his chest, just brushing his fingertips.

Leila took a deep breath. "He knows we've had sexual encounters in the past…" She looked him briefly in the eyes and averted her gaze rapidly, "but he doesn't know the nature of our relationship." She kept silent for a moment and then added "I had to tell him."

"Why?"

"He… he was suspicious. I guess I couldn't hide it… I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." She said sheepishly.

"How could he be suspicious, Leila? We haven't been in contact for three years. You better explain yourself here." He said with an edge of exasperation in his voice.

Leila didn't know how to explain herself. "I saw you." She blurted out. "Picking up your… Ana." Christian tensed hearing Ana's name. "You didn't see me, but I was there. And I couldn't help it… I needed to see you again. Just to see you, nothing else." She explained nervously. "One day Jack told me he liked Ana and asked me if I wanted her to join us…" Christian closed his eyes as a feeling of nausea crept to his mouth. Did Ana have been involved with Hyde too? "I told him she had a boyfriend… I guess I was a little jealous." Leila looked at Christian once again and realized he was very pale. "He began asking questions and I told him we had met several times in the past, but nothing more. Nothing about the contract!"

"It could be worse." Christian muttered to himself. "What kind of relationship do you have with Hyde?" Christian asked her, squinting. That time, Leila kept silent for a long while, with a pained look in her eyes. "Tell me, Leila."

"We share… common interests." She finally said.

"Such as?" Christian asked with a no-nonsense tone. He watched her appearance closely. Her eyes were not unfocused and glassy as the last time they had met, at Mia's restaurant opening, but the tell-tale signs of what he suspected were still there.

"Drugs." She said full of shame as a single tear rolled down her cheek.

Christian stood up and paced up and down the empty room.

"How did you end up like this?" He finally asked her, brushing both his hands through his hair and gripping it tightly at the back of his head.

She shrugged wordlessly. What could she tell him? That she needed something to fill the void inside her? That it was a poor replacement of what he made her feel?

"I… I had no Dom, and… I went to a party. It made me feel good, happier, nicer. I met Jack and we began hooking up."

"Sex and drugs. You know well it is a dangerous combination, Leila." Christian admonished her.

"I know…" She whispered, remembering some crazy things she had done. "I want to give up, I just… don't know how."

Christian looked at the window that faced the waterfront, his gaze lingering absentmindedly in the few people walking the harbor. Flynn could help her, he guessed. After all, he had promised to take care of her in the past; she had been a good sub until she wanted more and he didn't. He frowned at the fact of how much he had changed.

"I will help you with one condition…" Christian began talking still looking outside, but stopped mid-sentence when he saw Ana. She was looking to the water, but it was definitely her. She hugged herself, draping her cardigan tightly around her and shrugging her shoulders as the wind whipped her hair. He realized he had zoned out for a while and tried to center himself. "Stay away from Hyde." He resumed his talking. "John Flynn. He's a psychiatrist. Tell him I sent you."

Leila nodded speechless, shocked as Christian rushed out of the room. Before realizing it, he was out of the building and walking purposely towards Ana without thinking. He stopped in his tracks when he saw her talking to another man, his head cocked to the side and a sly smile playing on his lips. The air got caught in his throat as it seemed to him what was blatant flirting between them. What was he thinking? What did he expect? Did he expect Ana asking his forgiveness and promising him her everlasting love? She had already deceived him once, why not another time? Since when had she been cheating on him?

Ana turned her head towards Christian the moment a low, almost animalistic growl, erupted from his throat.

"Christian?" She whispered longingly. Her heart fluttered and she took a shallow breath before running towards him.

"Stay away from me!" He said in a low, menacing tone.

Ana stopped abruptly as a wall of rejection slapped her on the face.

"Christian, please, we need to talk! I… I don't understand! I miss you so, so much!" She cried, immobile, just a few steps from him.

"You don't understand, uh? You've already made a fool of me. Leave it!" He spitted.

"But…" Ana stopped mid-sentence when Leila walked out the door of the building behind Christian, escorted by Taylor.

Taylor frowned at the situation in front of him. Sawyer had gone to pick up Ms. Williams that morning, per Mr. Grey request, so he hadn't been at Ana's place and they weren't aware that she had left her apartment. But, what were the odds she would end up there? He also noticed the look of recognition between the young man behind Ana and Ms. Williams. He looked at Ana with an apologetic look, but she was deeply focused on Mr. Grey. Suddenly, Christian grabbed Leila by her elbow and turned towards the car.

"We're leaving, Taylor."

Ana's eyes widened and her face went pale. "Are you with her?" She asked in a tiny voice, but loud enough for Christian to hear.

"Are you with him?" He asked her back as he let go Leila's arm brusquely. His tone was hard and cold, with an edge of spitefulness, and his steely eyes fixed her to the ground.

"No!" Ana answered without hesitation and an undertone of disbelief.

"Neither I am, then." Without another word, even without another glance towards her, he marched inside the car, dragging Leila with him.

"What… what does it mean?" Ana shouted in his direction. "What does it mean?" She repeated to no one in particular. "Is she…? Has… has he…?" She stuttered, looking at the retreating vehicle and then at Isaac with pleading eyes.

Isaac recognized immediately Christian Grey. Not only he was one of the most successful businessmen in the US, Seattle's most eligible bachelor, but he also had a reputation as a Dom. He also knew Leila Williams as a seasoned sub and an acquaintance of Elena. Did that mean Ana Steele was a submissive? Grey's submissive? Was that the reason Elena wanted something with her? Gossip told that they, Elena and Grey, had a past, but, of course, he had never dared to ask her. He exhaled loudly and took a look towards Ana. Her eyes were glistening with unshed tears.

"That was Christian Grey, right?" He asked her pointing towards the empty space were Christian was standing some minutes ago.

"Yes." Ana whispered. She closed her eyes and counted to ten, trying to control the dizziness that threatened to sink her to the ground.

"Is he your…? I mean, are you…?" Isaac stammered, scratching the back of his neck. Ana opened her eyes and kept a blank face. She guessed what Isaac was talking about and didn't know how to interpret that the man in front of her had that kind of delicate information about Christian. Isaac nodded to an unanswered question. "All right, let's say that kind of things are better managed with a NDA."

Ana stared at him. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and swallowed. "Are you in the lifestyle?" She asked him without preamble.

"Yes, I am." He stared her back without blinking.

Ana narrowed her eyes, as an unwelcomed idea formed in her mind. "Do you know Elena Lincoln?" Isaac kept his blank face, but his pupils dilated for a second after hearing her name. Ana saw that flicker of recognition. "Would you talk to me honestly I sing that NDA of yours…?"

_§ § 0 § §_

Leila sunk in the backseat beside Christian, her eyes casted down. He was almost convulsing, his breath raged, his eyes closed and his face contorted as if in pain. A myriad of contradictory emotions lashed his body; sour revulsion filled his mouth, longing crushed his chest and made his fingers itch to touch her. Sadness drowned him and relief lifted his spirit for only a second seeing she was safe. Rage curled his hands into fists, ready to punch.

"Are… are you ok?" She finally asked him in a small voice.

Christian snapped out of the subspace he was, as if noticing her presence for the first time.

"Taylor! Stop the car!" He shouted without answering her. Christian looked at Leila sideways. What did it mean if 'he was with her'? How did Ana dare to ask him such a thing! "Sawyer will drive Ms. Williams home."

"Ok, sir." Taylor nodded dutifully. "Ms. Williams, follow me, please. There's another car waiting for you."

Leila looked at Christian before going out of the car. Her hand gripped tightly the door handle until her knuckles went white. "I'm sorry." She whispered in a tiny voice, sounding as if she wanted to say so much more. She averted her eyes immediately at the wild look on Christian's face.

Taylor escorted her to Sawyer's car, who was following them, and Christian stayed finally alone inside the cabin. He leaned his head on the plush leather seat, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes in utter desperation. He swallowed back a sob, hating himself for being so weak. He pressed the button of the privacy screen and the music system, trying to silence the ugly voices inside his head, but the song that blasted through the speakers bit him with venomous force.

Waiting

on a Sunday afternoon for what I've read between the lines - Your lies

Feeling

like a hand in rusted shame. So do you laugh at those who cry - Reply?

Leaving on a southern train only yesterday you lied

Promises of what I seemed to be only watched the time go by

All of these things you said to me

Breathing

is the hardest thing to do with all I've said and all that's dead for you

You lied - Goodbye

Leaving on a southern train only yesterday you lied

Promises of what I seemed to be only watched the time go by

All of these things I said to you

A sour laugh escaped his mouth, and he bit his lip forcefully to prevent it to transform into a sob. Lies, lies, lies. Dirty, cruel lies, laughing at him. How could those soft rosy lips be capable of such poisonous falseness? How could those blue bottomless pools, which seemed so innocent, have fooled him so cruelly? How could he hate her so much, and still love her after all?

Music in this chapter (I love them all! Heartbreak has always been and will be an inexhaustible source of inspiration…):

Spending my time. Roxette.

Black. Pearl Jam.

Interstate love song. Stone Temple Pilots.