Dragonfly can't Dance (author 2)

'Come sweet Mary-Kate, I will show you the great works we do. Then if you are still disappointed in us, you may offer suggestions or leave us for good,' Pilgrim lead M.K. off a small boat to the muddy land behind Pilgrim's fort.

'Okkkkaaay,' M.K. was feeling unsettled and eyed up an escape. If Sunny really was coming here, M.K. wanted to find him and kill him on the road so Pilgrim could not stop him. After a short walk they stopped. M.k.'s jaw opened in disbelief at the sight before him.

'I know, sweet Mary-Kate, isn't it magnificent?' Pilgrim asked proudly.

'What the actual fuck?' M.k. was not so impressed,'I thought you guys were digging for something Not, not building THAT.'

'We are still digging... but.'

'But you raided a refugee camp, slaughtered lots of people, fucked up more of the Badlands, just so you could build a giant clay penis?'

'Yes but, it...'

'Dude, the fuck?'

'Stop interrupting. I will explain.'

'haha. I'm listening.'

'You see, once we find the nuclear bomb and set that off...'

'The what bomb?'

'Shhhh! Once we set that off, we will destroy the earth. Rid it of all impurities . Start anew. In order for new life to spring forth, the Sky goddess must mate with the Earth god. Hence we are...'

'hahahaha hahahahahaha,' M.K. fell over laughing, 'You know what? I'm sad Quinn is dead, the conversations you two would have had... pure gold!'

'Who? Stop laughing boy! This is a serious matter!'

'Dude, you built a giant clay dildo. How the fuck am I supposed to take you seriously?'

'You do not understand!' Pilgrim grew angry.

'What if the Sky goddess doesn't like uncircumcised? Or likes bigger or smaller? Are you sure she's into dicks?'

'HOW DARE YOU MOCK ME! Though... you raise an salient point... Men! Gather round! We must build more penis towers!'

...

Gaius sat in a prison cell once more doing naked tai chi. The room door burst open and Clippers dragged in Widow. Moon and Tilda followed behind. Moon gave instructions. The cell door was open and Widow was flung inside. Tilda was mesmerized by Gaius. She was not into guys, but she could not held herself. Moon rolled his eyes.

'Who are you?' Tilda asked placing her hands gently on the bars.

"Gaius Chau. Mighty warrior. Model, actor extraordinaire.'

'Mighty warrior who gets his asses kicked every time he picks up a sword,' Moon grinned. Tilda felt sorry for poor defenceless Gaius all alone with Widow for the night.

'So Moon, you treacherous bastard,' Widow growled behind the bars, ' You are Baron now? After everything I did for you!'

'Hell No! No. The new baron is the most beautiful lady in all the land.'

'Chau! You sold me out to Chau?!'

'Ha. Again, no,' Moon chuckled just as a figure emerged in the doorway.

'I am your new baron now,' Lydia smiled an evil grin.

...

After much fighting, Sunny and Bajie made it to Pilgrim's fort. Sunny held up the picture Ankaldo gave him for comparison. 'Hmm,' said Bajie, 'Look! Psycho bitch wasn't wrong! Two giant dicks behind the castle!'

'gruuf,' Sunny grumbled. He was still unsure about meeting Pilgrim. Pilgrim was the asshole who destroyed Azra and Sunny's family afterall, if Sunny's stoned dreams were to be believed. Sunny had planned on telling Bajie what he knew about Pilgrim, but then with recent discoveries, Sunny much preferred the idea of slitting Bajie's perverted throat. It wasn't long til guards came to investigate the new comers and escorted them inside. Pilgrim was not present and they were told to wait around. It did not take Bajie long to find a lady to give him a tour of the place. Sunny chose to stay in the main hall. He felt extremely uncomfortable. Every fibre of his body told him to run. Told him the place reeked of evil. He shuddered. There was a smell of blood both fresh and old. Sunny paced nervously around the hall trying to calm Henry. Henry's illness had gotten worse. It was then that Sunny noticed the wall. He blinked in disbelief. He stepped back. It was definitely what he thought it was. 'Dafuq?' he whispered as he stared at the blood painting resembling his tattoos. He cuddled Henry, 'We can't be here.'

Just as he turned to leave a small figure emerged from the shadows, 'Hello murderer!'

'Huh? Who's there?' Sunny asked realising he was unarmed.

'You've forgotten me already? Hmmm. How sad.'

'I know your voice...'

'good. It is the last thing you will hear.'

'M.K.?!'

...

'This AIN'T HOW I DO THINGS!' Quinn roared in the dimly light room.

'Please calm down, Mr. Quinn, none of us are happy about this,' Tarbh tried to reason with him.

'Y'all telling ME, that rat bastard pilgrim guy is going to use my precious boy to destroy us all, and y'all wanna be calm?!'

'Quinn!' the Master stood up. She held a toy baby doll in her left hand, ' Pilgrim is pure evil. He makes you look like a level 1 boss.'

'And who the fuck are you anyway? I see you lurching around ma tent with Seagul!' Quinn's fangs began to show.

'I am the Master of the monastery near the border. I help dark ones control their gift for the greater good.'

'sweetheart! You don't fool me! You telling me you have an army of dark ones and just suddenly became interested in politics. Shit, honey, don't lie. If we gonna be allies, don't lie.'

'Whatever our reasons,' Tarbh interrupted, ' We all want Pilgrim gone. Each of us has a unique skill set. Each of us is capable of destroying the other. But if we unite in peace, Pilgrim will be vanquished in a blink of an eye.'

'So, miss Master,' Quinn nodded in agreement with Tarbh before staring at the Master, 'What is Pilgrim doing to my Sunny?'

'I don't know. It partly my fault. I should never have let him go. I thought I was doing the right thing...'

'That's mighty helpful information.'

'Look! I wasn't expecting this. I never thought anyone would be dumb enough to send a signal let alone someone dumb enough to answer. I certainly didn't anticipate a visit for Mr. Apocalypse himself.'

'Hmmm, apocalypse. I was partial to that myself for a time... I understand his ways better than y'all.'

'I don't think you...'

'Am I not a cult leader? Did I not convince a bunch of idiots to kill themselves for no reason?'

'You did? WTF?'

'Pilgrim is just a more pc version of me.'

'Ugh…,' the Master was regretting this alliance, 'Pilgrim is you on a larger, more idiotic and supernatural level.'

'Sweetheart,' Quinn exposed his fangs, ' Am I not a supernatural being maself now? Hehe!'

...

'You killed my mother!' M. K. screamed at Sunny.

'What?' Sunny was confused and stepped back, 'I thought you killed your mother?'

'Silence!'

'M. K. I'm sorry. I don't know what happened to you, but you know I didn't kill your mother! That's ridiculous!'

'LIAR!' M.K.'s eyes turned black and he lunged at Sunny.

'M.K.! Stop!' Sunny dodged holding Henry tight in his arms, 'I'm not here to fight. I'm here because Henry is sick! Stop trying to attack me!'

'DIE MOTHERFUCKER!' M.K. kicked Sunny in the stomach. Sunny moved Henry out of the way just in time, but took the full impact of the kick himself. It sent him halfway across the room.

'What the fuck is going on here?' Bajie appeared from the side of the staircase. He saw Sunny in agony on the floor.

'He killed my MOTHER!' M.K. ran towards Sunny. Bajie intercepted. He hit M.K. between the eyes and the darkness left M.K., 'You bastard!'

'Look M.K., we both know Sunny didn't kill your mother!' Bajie grabbed M.K. by the shoulders and shook him.

'The hell do you know?! I saw it in my dream!'

'For fuck sake M.K. last time I met you, you were crying that you killed your mother yourself! Get a grip kiddo!'

'BUT I SAW SUNNY!'

'hmm,' Bajie let go of him, 'I suppose it was my fault. I shouldn't have left you in that orphanage...'

'What?'

'You parents aren't dead. The woman you keep calling your mother never existed. She's your imaginary mother!'

'LIAR! The Master told me you're a liar!'

'Shut up for five seconds! Yeeesh. Think about it. You came to the Badlands to find your mother right?'

'Ya...'

'And...'

'And?'

'And the first person to show you kindness was?'

'Sunny...'

'Exactly. Soooo, your stoner damaged mind made Sunny your mother figure.'

'Wait what?'

'Yes, then you saw yourself killing your mother because Sunny was captured and you thought he was dead, hence his death was your fault.'

'The fuck?' Sunny stood up and slowly made his way over.

'Yes...,' Bajie continued, 'Then fast forward a few months, you discover Sunny is alive, you're super happy, then he abandons you to rescue his girlfriend and kid and you never see him again. Hence killing your mother figure.'

'Okaaayy,' Sunny looked horrified and confusedly at M.K. M.K. was deep in thought. It did all make sense to him in a weird way. He looked up at Sunny. Sunny smiled at him trying to keep the peace. M.K. growled, 'I am M.K. the Bastard, you killed my imaginary mother, prepare to die!' The darkness took over M.K. once more and he started to strangle Sunny. Bajie grabbed Henry. Sunny struggled to get evil M.K. off.

'Peace be with you!' Pilgrim shouted. M.K. froze, Sunny felt dizzy. Bajie was confused. 'Mary-Kate! I told you to leave the catalyst alone!' Pilgrim growled.

'Mary-Kate? Haha,' Bajie laughed.

'If he's the cattlist, where are his cows?' M.k. snapped back.

'Cat-a-lyst, not cattle-ist. You get your brains from your mother,' Bajie grinned.

'Fuck you!'

'Leave us, Mary-Kate! Leave us at once!' Pilgrim roared. Sunny looked cautiously at Pilgrim. Pilgrim looked at Sunny and smiled, 'Come we have much to discuss.'

...

M.K. muttered to himself as he wondered through the former museum. He thought about asking Bajie how he knew stuff about him, but was too annoyed with everything. He picked up an ancient Samurai sword. Something stirred behind him. He quickly turned. Castor emerged from behind the wooden screen sword at the ready, 'I'll be damned if I'm replaced by a bitch like you!'