Chapter 24
(The Cain Odyssey)
Border of Colonial space
"Augustus Cain: personal diary–security code "Pegasus Alpha Two Sven One Beta Helena Caprica Seven Three. Verify."
"Code verified."
Satisfied that the self-destruct mode was deactivated and the system configured to his vocals and biochemical print, he began talking into the microphone embedded in his diary.
"Note to self. Do not let this get out. Don't allow these comments to be released.
Location: Battlestar Themis: Time 20:32 hrs, standard. I'm on my way to the meeting set up by the Earthers scheduled to begin in four days. Barring any delays, it'll take one day to reach the rendezvous point just outside Colonial space grid eight-four-two. As our agreement states, neither side can come into our respective star systems unless specifically invited or said party will be fired upon. With the Tollanians enforcing an even further no-fly zone we were inclined to reciprocate, but cooler heads prevailed. Terran diplomatic carriers are still allowed to bring transportables as are ours. Warships are a different matter.
This is the first time I've had the pleasure of being inside one of the new Ares class battlestars since they've entered into in service last year. From the outside, they look slightly smaller than the Mercury, but looks are deceiving. It's a bit bigger than the Mercury and probably lies somewhere between the Mercury and Warstar according to the specs. The armor is a lot thicker and the engines more powerful, and the ship's sublight speed is faster. R&D is playing catch-up with Earth and they still have a long way to go. That's one of the things I'll need to find out. How advanced are they and how did they become so advanced in the first place?
This battlestar is an entirely new class, but the old familiar sounds and vibrations are still there. FTL feels the same as I remembered in my old Pegasus but this ship can jump twelve percent further with accuracy. I can feel the engines soft humming. I can feel the subtle vibrations as we move through space. Reminds me of my old command. Ah, the adrenalin, the sheer terror of commanding that old Colombia behind enemy lines surrounded by crazed Cylons… I'd never been so alive in my life. I'm glad that I've lived long enough to see the end of that war. The secret mission Adama made was sufficient to trigger a Cylon pre-empted attack plans, that what that top secret document summarized. But Corman, Nagala, and I never believed that. That was just an excuse. We knew that the Cylons were violating the armistice line at least once a month for years and we politely ignored it to keep from igniting an unwanted conflict. I wonder if Adama blames himself for supposedly triggering the final war. I'll have to ask him some day and let him know the whole truth. He always had the propensity for guilt complexes for the strangest reasons. Glad to know that the old man survived the Tollanian attack in that old ship, not that our newer babies would have done any better.
The CDF has high hopes for this battlestar but we're fooling ourselves if we think we could go up against the Tau'ri or Lucians without some type of viable force field to protect us from the plasma beams everyone else seems to favor these days. Despite the public's ignorance about this little fact, the military knows just how easily we be wiped out in a straight fight. That's another why I'm going to Earth. We need that defensive technology to keep invaders from decimating our worlds. Gone are the old days when a battlestar like the Galactica could stand face-to-face with the Cylons and give out more than she took. The Cylons are gone. Now we have the Earthers. I hope we don't go to war against each other. They're Human like us. We don't need to kill each other, especially since what's coming our way will be much worse. We need to stand together even if we don't like each other that much.
My conversation with former-President Adar turned out better than I thought it would. He's not the moron some believed him to be when he was president. He's changed since he left office; more relaxed and more stable now that we don't have the Cylons and a near economic crash hovering over our heads. He was acting irrational during the teacher's strike and I was worried about some of his executive orders. Shooting teachers in the streets didn't help his presidency. But crazed teachers using automatic weapons to force better benefits and salaries from the government didn't help either. Now, he looks re-energized and he'll need every bit of energy he can muster for this mission. I'll admit that our first conversation during the journey was amusing. What do we call these people, Earthers, Earthlings, Tau'ri, Thirteeners, Terrans, Earth people, Apellai as the religious and scientific community insists, or the Thirteenth tribe? So many names to choose from: I told him that the Terran name is the safest as we don't want to insult them, not now and he wholeheartedly agreed. His wife though is another matter. For a man known as the one responsible for breaking one of the most violent Teachers strike of our time, how could he have married a woman that looks like the poster child for school ma'ams across the Colonies? On the other hand, it explains a lot.
Note: do not allow his entry to become public.
Adar's wife Marthia is terrified. You can see it in her eyes, but being a politician's wife she forced herself to go with her husband, probably to keep him away from the Earth school teachers. If the rumors are true he had an 'association' with one of the teachers, a cabinet member in fact a Roslin someone. It caused a big scandal which would have been worse if the woman hadn't had very aggressive triple negative breast cancer. The poor woman didn't stand a chance. But her death saved Adar's career at the time. His wife stood by him throughout it all. Carrie would have beaten the snot out of me if I'd done that. Then the girls would have… don't want to think about that. But Marthia is different. Adultery doesn't bother her. She's far more concerned about her status and the Terrans being monotheists. President Adar confided that their religion frightens her on a visceral level. She's a very religious woman and the thought of being surrounded by people who follows the one God like the Cylons did, brought back some very bad memories about the monotheists' terrorism. Everyone seems to think that Earth's another extension of the colonies and it's not. Personally, I think it's that she more of a prude than anything else. The woman's got stones, probably bigger ones than Adar. But, I hope it wasn't a mistake having here come with her husband. I think he's worried about her responses as well. The Earthers might not take it well if she insults them. We don't know how they'll react if their religious faith is challenged. She's, like most of us is assuming that Earth is like the colonies and nothing her husband has said will change her mind. All of the reports I've read, all of the statements from the humans on the worlds we've discovered and started to colonize don't know of Kobol. They do know the Tau'ri. Note: I need to find out what the word Tau'ri means.
The missionaries have been singing since they arrived on the ship. Civilians! I thank the gods that my room is soundproof. High priest Tyberi Patrenus is trying to get the crew to add their voices to the mix. He's so happy to be going to Earth. Save the Heathen – who have technology far in advance of our own! Bring them back into the fold! He's assuming the Earthers want to be saved. What happens if it's the other way around, that they're right and we're wrong? Marthia has joined in and sadly, her voice is about what I'd expected it to be. The young missionaries have better voices. They're excited but it's clear they're scared. I can't blame them, but I wish they would stop singing about going into the wilderness. They are going to Earth, not to the planet of the cannibals.
Being a Lead Admiral does have its perks. There's something about being in the thick of things once more instead of being behind a desk smothered in paperwork. The Themis' C&C is tight-knit and professional just as it should be. You can feel the feel the anticipation but not the tension that could cause someone to make a mistake. The Earth ship is scheduled to arrive in less than ten minutes but none of the subspace warning buoys have been triggered. We expected that. Incoming Colonial drives can be detected in subspace. Detecting the FTL drives used by the Earthers…well, we're still working on that.
Those buoys were one of the first useful technologies developed just after the Cylon wars when we took their computers and cracked it apart looking for anything useful. The hybrids were Cylon tech to the extreme but we managed to get some information out of them before the things were destroyed. Oh, we thought we were something back then; until we met the Earthers who then tore us a new one. Are we wary of them? Yes, at least until we reach parity with
"DRADIS just picked up three ships; fifty thousand kilometers out and coming in fast. All of them have Terran signatures. Captain Hordann immediately set the ship to Condition One. He and his escorts are tracking but weapons aren't hot. I'm hovering around DRADIS trying get as much detail as possible. Communications are opened confirming who they are.
The two smaller ships are classes we've seen before. Their power ratings are at the upper limit of our max detection range, each almost ninety times our own power generation. That makes my hair stand on edge since those two ships could blow us out of space and not even notice as they passed by. But it's the third one that makes me just stare at the screen in awe. She's as big as a Mercury class battlestar and her power generation is far above her escorts and I suspect that she's not exerting herself at all. She's an Alpha class warship every sense of the word.
A very cautious Hordann glance at me and I return the look. These are not people we want to play with. I quickly returned to my cabin. My adventure is about to begin. Lead Admiral Cain, Beta Helena Caprica One One Two set."
"Confirmed. Security mode active. Self-destruct active."
Smiling to himself he quickly gathered his things and placed his diary in his carrying case. The security system light pulsed gently ensuring that his personal thoughts would be kept private. It would make a great book after he was dead, of course.
Cain waited as the transport Raptor began its journey towards the Earth ship identified as the Mashantucket. The ship was huge, easily the size of a battlestar however the design was totally different, very unusual in fact. Unlike the two escorts their destination ship didn't have the flight bays. Even the main engine thrusters looked nothing like anything he'd previously seen. The people in the Raptor were unusually quiet. Adar and his wife were quietly whispering with one another. The woman looked more terrified with each passing moment. Augustus was sure that this was her first raptor flight and being used to shuttles, the woman was uncomfortable in what was a military vessel travelling to a non-Colonial warship filled with people who were known for killing thousands of hers. Adar seemed okay. The missionaries were straining their eyes trying to look out the tiny windows to get a glimpse of their destination. Cain didn't care about them as he was doing the same thing. In a few minutes, the Raptor eased its way into the Earth ship's landing bay, passing though what had to be a force field of some sort keeping space outside and atmosphere in while letting the Raptor ease through unharmed. A multifunctional shield system. Amazing! The applications alone could revolutionize military tactics.
Touching down, everyone prepared to disembark. Somewhat cautiously the co-pilot opened the door and the Colonials stepped into a new world. Everything was clean even if the small group of passengers couldn't see much other than a few very dangerous looking fighter craft. They were led to a small room where they were bathed in some sort of light. The Colonial's bodies tingled a bit from the lights effects as it hit them but it wasn't uncomfortable. They were told that this was decontamination protocol which impressed Augustus. When asked about it, Cain and the others were told that they were scanned for any type of pathogens and at the same time treated to protect them from any Terran pathogens that might be dangerous to them. Cain stood there trying to pick up his jaw from the floor. Terran medical science was so far ahead of anything his people had it wasn't even funny. What he and the others didn't know was that this was extremely advanced Lantean technology and the Terrans were learning and developing it as fast as they could. Those advances were now starting to explode on Earth.
The officers and crew took them to their designated quarters. Cain thanked the gods for the translators the Earthers provided because his Americana Englasia was non-existent. The room was spacious and comfortable looking and large enough for a small family unit to comfortably live in. He checked out the room carefully. Other than a few unidentified pieces of equipment, he didn't see anything out of the ordinary, but what he did notice made him frown. The ship had windows. This was undoubtedly a warship and it had windows, fairly big ones at that. Curious though, he opened the curtain and looked out and was shocked to see a bluish white tunnel streaming by. They had jumped into their hyperspace and he never even noticed! Touching what he believed to be some type of glass, he quickly snatched his hand away. It hadn't harmed him but it didn't have the feel of glass or a plastic of some type. He was still processing this when he received a knock on his door. Opening the door, he saw a rather bored-looking man waiting to be invited in.
"Hello, Mr. President. Please, come in."
Adar smiled and entered. Taking a quick glance around the room he nodded in approval. "Just like ours. Very comfortable. Reminds me of Cloud Twelve."
"I had the opportunity of shipping out on Cloud Nine with my wife," Augustus told him. "The ship was a beauty in her day. Never got the chance to vacation on the newer Clouds."
"The rooms are much like this but the service is somewhat better," Adar mused. Facing Cain he turned serious. "What's the delay? Why haven't we started on our journey? This is going to be a long trip and I know I'm eager to get started."
"Sir, we're already in transit," said Cain. "It's been about a half hour now."
To say that Adar was dumbfounded would be an understatement. "I–I didn't feel anything, not even acceleration!"
Cain nodded in sober agreement. He hadn't felt anything, either. Only by looking out the small window did he even realize they were on their way. "We're moving. Look out the window," he said, pointing towards the small window port."
Richard Adar did so. The sight was intoxicating and completely different from anything he'd ever seen. As he squinted he saw one of the other Terran warships keeping pace. At Cain's suggestion he touched the glass. The touch of it was like nothing he'd ever felt before. It reminded him of a crystal substance infused with metal of some sort. "Very strange." It was another mystery added to the thousands of others about the Terrans.
The two men spent another half hour simply talking about what they expected to find when there was another knock at the door. Cain half expected to Richard's wife come storming in having been abandoned by her husband for almost an hour on an alien ship. He was pleasantly surprised that it was not her. Instead it was a woman with blond hair mixed with streaks of gray. She had a nice smile and optimistic, but, much like Helena, she had the piercing eyes of a combat veteran who'd seen a lot of battle, unlike Halima who was Admin to her soul.
The woman introduced herself. "President Adar, Lead Admiral Cain, my name is Colonel Carter, commander of the Mashantucket. I wanted to drop by and offer a quick hello before I continued my duties. Is everything here to your satisfaction?"
"Yes, it is," answered the former President of the Colonies of Kobol. "Thank you for transporting us to this meeting and I guess eventually to Earth."
"You're welcomed."
"However, everyone has neglected to tell me exactly where this meeting it to take place. I understand the need for security but, as you can understand, we're taking a lot on trust."
"I understand. My government is concerned about the security of this meeting and very little information was given out to anyone other than your President who agreed to our terms. But the moment you stepped on this ship, your safety was assured. We take pride in caring for any diplomatic envoys under our care. We Terrans will make sure you arrive at your destination safely and as soon as possible. Colonel Carter continued to smile. "I am allowed to tell you that my ship's an Orion-class Aurora, one of the most powerful warships in our fleet."
"Incidentally," she added as a seeming afterthought, "You should be thankful that this ship wasn't in system when your fleet attacked Earth," she told the President although it was directed at both men. Both men knew exactly what she meant.
Actually the Mashantucket hadn't even been discovered yet but she wasn't about to tell him that. "Your casualties would have been far worse. But Earth is trying to move past that invasion for the sake of peace with your people. We have no interests in wiping you out. Mr. President," she continued, giving him his honorific. "We'll get you to your meeting in plenty of time to spare."
"So this meeting will take place a lot closer to the colonies than we expected," surmised the Admiral. "Will it take place on the space station you have hidden near Colonial territory?"
Colonel Carter smiled as she decided how to answer this probe. "Until we arrive at our destination, I'm not at liberty to say, but we Terrans are making a point," answered the Colonel. "We're not interested in fighting with your people. There are other more important things to worry about. We have invited you to this meeting to help keep the lines of communication open between our two people and to give you an idea what's out here so that it'll help you decide what you'll do in the future. You know as well as we do that information is power. We hope that what you find out will be useful to you and your people."
"So, can I assume that this is a war counsel you're taking us to?" asked Adar.
"Again, I am not at liberty to say, Mr. President. My superiors will speak to you and tell you in detail, but I can say that your theory may be close to the truth. I was given permission to give you a bit of information about our ship and some information about the meeting so that you wouldn't arrive completely blind."
"Well, changing the subject a bit, do we have time to get a quick tour of this fine ship?"
"I'm sorry but that isn't on the schedule. Maybe one day, when our relations improve, then our answer will be yes. As for now, please enjoy the comfort of your suites."
A few more pleasantries were spoken and then the Colonel left.
As the door closed Richard looked questionably at Augustus.
"Hey, I had to try."
He smiled. "It couldn't hurt."
"One thing she did say was right though," Cain began. "Those escorts out there could lay waste to the fleet. If this ship had been there during the attack on Earth, I might have lost my daughter and the entire fleet."
"Well, let's praise the gods that we didn't have to find out." Adar was quiet for a moment as the two of them returned to looking out the small window. The bluish patterns streaking by were really beautiful. It seemed to make the journey somehow more relaxing and he wasn't sure if he wanted to raise the question but it seemed appropriate. "I haven't been threatened like that in a long time," he said as Cain nodded in somber agreement. "Do you think this may have something to do with the race of lizards?"
"Maybe," Cain conceded. "But, I'm not getting the impression this is about them. The subject may come up but in the larger scheme of things, they are a minor bump compared to the differences between the Terrans and us. They're telling us where we stand in the galaxy. We know that the Terrans are strong but maybe not as strong as they want us to think they are. Maybe they're using this as a smokescreen."
"This could be a massive bluff but I don't think so. I can't afford to think so. There's too much evidence to the contrary. I guess we'll have to wait until we get there to see."
"Sir, what if this is about the Lizards? What will you do?"
"I will state our position on the matter," Richard answered. "But," and here he paused. "I think that we may have to re-evaluate our opinions on alien species. We've never before encountered any and the Thirteeners have. Obviously, they're out there and I believe we as a people may have to be a lot more circumspect in our assumptions be they governmental or religious," Adar carefully responded as he recalled another, earlier conversation. He nodded to the Lead Admiral, and gave a half-apologetic smirk. "I think a lot of people won't like what we have to say in the future." He glanced at his timepiece and growled. "I need to get back to my wife before she accuses me of abandonment."
Cain's smile matched Adar's–he of the wondering eyes.
Cain Diary:
"I felt the chill run up and down my spine like a professional sprinter when I heard the announcement that we have arrived at Earth. Earth! The trip took six and a half hours! It takes longer going from Caprica City to Rountal by rail. I'm calculating that we traveled a distance of almost seventy two hundred parsecs in less than seven hours! We're traveling about one light-year per second sustained travel! I can't help it as I thank the gods I don't believe in that we didn't find ourselves in war with these people. Adar was as pale as I've ever seen him when he discovered that we were at Earth.
At first I didn't believe it but I've studied images of the planet long enough to recognize it anywhere. Neither Caprica nor any of the other Colonial worlds come close to having this much water, one of the standouts on this world. This is why they didn't tell us where the meeting was to take place! We couldn't find a base because they didn't have need of one near the Colonies!
I thought we had a good estimate about their FTL capabilities but we weren't even close! I have to acknowledge that I don't know what their max velocity might be. I can't even assume that we were traveling at maximum to get here. Goesel, Nagala and Corman aren't going to like this one bit. This is an extreme tactical advantage we can't possibly counter. Never have I been happier knowing that the Race project was a failure. If there had been another incident with Earth, we could have easily lost everyone. Makaria and the newer colonies could be struck by ships from Earth in a matter of minutes if what I suspect is true. It's apparent that I'll have to be even more cautious when I speak with them. The Quorum and CDF wanted me to represent the Colonies from a position of strength, to let these people know that we wouldn't be cowed by bullies. We were so wrong. The ship, their language translators, their overall speed is enough to convince me to change my approach.
When we were told that we've made it to Earth both the President and I shared that knowing look. The stakes had become so much higher than anyone expected. Colonel Carter was right; they were sending us a message. In fact, they were slapping us with it in case we didn't care to notice.
I noticed it now.
As we prepared to disembark, the missionaries were still singing as they boarded their shuttle to head to the city of New York, but they were a lot quieter now. The quick trip had the same effect on them as it did on Adar and myself. In their minds they believed that Earth was filled with primitives; that even though they were dangerous they were still below us somehow, that they were, desperate people seeking the truth about the gods which we would come and joyfully share with them. I observed the Earth crews twitching. I'm not sure if it's because of the singing or because of what was being said. I don't know if they had translators or not but some of them were just professional enough to keep from laughing.
I don't see that as a good sign.
With Adar's wife clutching his hand as if we were about to be eaten, the President and I were directed to another small tube-shaped shuttle. It was very strange-looking. Other than being a transport, I saw nothing in the design that I would compare to a Raptor transport. The entire back portion opened up and we carefully entered, following the directions of the pilot. We strapped ourselves in.
"We'll be leaving momentarily," the pilot said in Caprican standard.
Again, I wished I could keep my language translator when all of this was over. Two minutes later after the co-pilot checked our seat straps, we shot out of the mother ship. I didn't feel a thing. I wished there had been side windows so that I could get a look at the engines because I didn't know where they were. They certainly weren't inside the ship. There was no space to put them there! I could see through the pilot's cockpit window. We were moving fast; the planet coming up to meet us at a speed that set my heart race.
Because we arrived early (by two days!), we were taken to what could only be called an island resort, secured and protected by the IOA. We were at a region of a part of the world named French Polynesia, taken to a hotel called the Hilton Moorea Lagoon. The place was absolutely beautiful and I wish I could have brought Carrie. The service and accommodations were excellent. Security was tight, but unobtrusive. No doubt we were surrounded by Earth security. I even went swimming a couple of times, escorted, of course. The sea life was unimaginably alien but beautiful and the waters were clear as glass. I saw Adar and Marthia lounging around the hotel. She almost looked comfortable. Caprica and Picon have something close to this place but only the best of our resorts could equal here. If we make peace with the Terrans then I am positive that this place would be packed with vacationers from the colonies. This island could command its own price and we'd pay it. I was anxious to get to the meeting but this layover gave me time to compose myself, reflect on what I'd seen so far and prepare a few notes for a debriefing after I return home. The first thing I will tell them is that the culture here is completely different from any I've never seen at home. Still thought, this place…
The Terran shuttle returned picking the three of us up and suddenly, we were over water once more, racing above the surface at what had to be close to a thousand kilometers an hour. It took a few minutes of staring out the small windows, but I could just see the outline of something. As we got closer, I could see it was a city in the middle of this huge ocean. But what disturbed me was that it was just a floating city! There was no land around it anywhere. How could they build a floating city? Why would they do it and place it in the middle of an ocean? What type of anchors were they using to keep it from floating around aimlessly during large storms?
I promised myself I'd find out later, but I remember drinking in the view. The city consisted of a series of beautiful, tastefully designed skyscrapers, the predominant colors being white and silver. As we flew over it in preparation for landing I took in the entire view. It reminded me of a huge, beautiful manmade snowflake. The city looked very delicate but the waves gave lie to my assumption as the city was as steady as a rock, being unaffected by the waves. I could tell that Adar was very impressed. Marthia remained expressionless even though her eyes widened as we approached the landing port. We landed a few moments later on an open air landing port. Looking out I could see the ocean waves rolling near the city. But there was no wind associated with the waves. I expected the temperature to be somewhat cool but it was perfect. That's when I knew the city was shielded by one of their fantastic force fields that they so loved to use.
I didn't even realize that the pilot was next to me until I heard him say, "Welcome to the city of Lemuria."
I saw Adar trying to remain cool and professional but I knew better. His wife was becoming more and more animated with each second. So the old saying that 'the dead really do come back to life sometimes' was true. As for me I wished my wife had come with me and see this place. She would have loved it. Earth culture and design has gone in an entirely different direction than that of the colonies. This alone disturbs me since our people may have less in common than I hoped for.
A security detail escorted us to a huge room inside the main tower. There were soldiers and technicians everywhere and it reminded me more of a cross between my old C&C and a hotel lobby than anything else. There were dozens of people in the room. Who they were didn't interest me because my eyes had locked onto the most impressive thing in the room. There was a stargate here, different looking than the one at home–more artistically designed, and more advanced looking than any other we've encountered, so far in our explorations. It was activating and the seven chevrons responded faster than our stargate had ever done. Adar had seen it once but it didn't fail to awe him this time, either. I maintained my composure, but, gods! – It's impressive to see these things activate. Marthia looked like she was about to faint or fall on her knees in prayer until Richard helped his wife to get a grip on herself. Thank the gods for that. She would have embarrassed every colonial in existence if she started praying to the thing in front of all of these people. I don't need them looking at us like we're country hicks any more than we already are. When the people emerged from the event horizon, I was positive the woman was going to faint although I have to be fair to her. Seeing someone just walk through the blue water-like energy event horizon is one of the great wonders of the universe.
I didn't know who this particular group was however they were big. One man dressed in an armor-like uniform and carrying a tall staff stepped out of the stargate as it were the most natural thing in the world. Another older man followed right behind him as well as two security personnel. Both of these men had some type of gold emblem on their foreheads like tattoos but done in gold. The escorts, I surmised, had to be Jaffa. Both had black uniforms with insignias and carried side arm weapons. I saw General O'Neill (yes, I easily recognized him just like every other admiral and high ranking officer in the CDF would) move to greet the tall dark man and his elder companion who seemed surprised by their surroundings. I overheard the General say something about beta being opened for the duration. I think I know what he meant but I'm not sure. I think these people have more than one stargate. There was a friendliness there that hinted at a long-standing relation usually seen in men and women who have served in tough combat conditions for long periods of time. General Landry introduced himself and shook my hand, each of us taking the measure of the other…
"I offer my congratulations, General O'Neill," Thor said quietly as he observed the final minutes of the gathering from the secured room next door. "What the Tau'ri has agreed to will change the shape of this galaxy. We hope that the others here will fully understand the significance of the agreement that has been signed this day."
"I think they do," O'Neill answered. He looked at his now-much taller and more human-like in appearance friend. "It took a while, but there's nothing like the threat of extermination to get everybody sitting down and having a civil discussion. Of course, we privately promised the Tollanians that we will assist in kicking the Lucians collective butts because they're right. We don't need phased weapons in the hands of the Ba'al's little kiddies. Then both of us will began serious upgrading for the rest of our new, budding alliance. As for the Colonials, they needed to know what's going on. The entirety of the IOA also feels the need to explain to them why it wasn't nice to try to nuke us. But we also need to show them how their actions have screwed them so it'll be a few years before we agree to have them join our alliance or federation; haven't decided what to call it yet. The Tollanians hate the word Alliance so much that we may have to use another term just to keep them happy. Speaking of which, will the Asgard sign on?"
"Yes, we will," answered Thor. "But this will not happen officially until five years from now. To the galaxy we are still extinct, and because it does not know that we are still alive gives us more time to rebuild. But we will serve and assist in an unofficial and secretive capacity when needed. I am also telling you, O'Neill that we agree with the IOA's plans and will implement it along with your people as soon as there is a treaty signed."
I'm glad to hear it. By the way, since when have the Asgard began wearing clothes?" asked O'Neill.
"These new bodies require more studious attention than our old cloned bodies. They are more sensitive to temperature variations and more responsive to the surrounding environment. There is also the fact that our bodies respond to the opposite sex in ways that have caused stressful situations to happen with distressing regularity."
"Yeah, I can see that," answered a thoughtful (and slightly hysterical) O'Neill. "But what about the hair? And why do you have a goatee, pray tell?"
"My wife finds my chin hair pleasing to her eyes. It seemed wise to keep it."
"Are you blushing?"
"O'Neill, the Asgard do not blush."
"Yes, you do!"