DISCLAIMER: The plot belongs to me but all things Twilight belong to the lovely Stephenie Meyer

Author's Note: Those of you who read the truck-napper blog may know this story has been nominated for best Edward, best Bella, and best overall at the giggle/snort awards. Only the stories with the most nominations can continue to the voting stage. If you have enjoyed this story so far please take a second to go nominate it. The link can be found on my profile page and the truck-napper blog. It'd mean a lot to me but even if you don't want to nominate this one you should still go check out the site. There's some awesome stories over there and the awards are a pretty cool idea. This is the first time the awards have been held so it's such an honor being included in that. Thanks to everyone who has nominated this story already and everyone who's reviewed. You guys rock!

The word of the day is Wedding

I'd worked my fingers to the bone for this wedding. Seriously, I probably wouldn't have spent this much time planning if it was my wedding. I honestly woke up last night in a panic because I just knew I forgot to put the little red name cards out so everyone would know where to sit at the reception. Alice would kill me!

Edward had laughed at me but I wouldn't let him go back to sleep until he checked. I don't know how he got into the reception hall at three in the morning, but he came back half an hour later, assured me they were there, and crawled back into bed mumbling something about, "psychotic bridesmaids" under his breath.

"It's not even our wedding! You're lucky I love you so much."

Note to self: being woken up in the middle of the night most definitely bothers Edward. I'm storing that one away for later...

But the wedding was going to be perfect. No one could say I wasn't a good maid of honor. I'd done everything the little pixie had commanded, maybe not without argument but still...

Despite all the snarky comments, I really did want my friend to have the wedding she'd always dreamed of. So when she asked me to spread exactly 155 yellow rose petals down the aisle, I counted them. 155 is Alice's lucky number. When she called crying about the seating chart we'd gone over seventeen times at the last minute yesterday I'd taken a deep breath so I didn't give into the temptation to pop her spiky little head off her neck and then I went. Her wacky uncle Marty had divorced his third wife recently. They were both coming but couldn't sit together, obviously. I was just glad Alice hadn't picked a dress with a million skirts so I'd have to hold her dress away from her while she peed. But I would have if I'd had to. Actually, I may have made Rose deal with that one. There are limits after all.

But the point is I'd been the best maid of honor I could be and this was how they repaid me!

"I'm not wearing that," I said for the third time, eyeing the red dress Rose held.

Rosalie put her hand on her hip.

"Why not?"she demanded.

My eyes fell to the low neck line, the cinched waist, and the long flowing material. Rose could pull that dress off. I would pull a muscle trying to walk in it.

"I'll fall," I whined. "Besides the last time I wore something like that the creepy old Chinese man stared at me."

She looked at me like I was insane.

"I don't even want to know what you're talking about," she said, shaking her head. "Just put it on now."

I started to protest but she shook her head.

"You'll look beautiful," she promised. "It'll make Alice happy and Edward will take one look at you before choking on his own saliva."

I ignored her comments.

"My boobs will fall out," I worried. There's nothing like a little boobie to ruin a classy wedding.

Rose grinned the evil smile that had often made me wonder if she was Satin's advocate.

"No, they won't!" she sang, twirling a roll of small adhesive tape around her finger.

Oh god. Backless dress equals no bra. I should have known. I groaned, smacking my forehead.

"I hate Alice," I said, half convinced in that moment that I did.

Rose laughed, patting my arm.

"Don't worry, Bells," she said in a teasing tone. "You can always get her back when you get married."

This was going to be a long day.

The dress wasn't as bad as I'd thought once I got it on. It did have a plunging neck line but thanks to Rose's handy dandy boob tape there were no painfully obvious bra straps or flashes of cleavage. The skirt wasn't tight and constricting like I'd initially thought, but flowing and flattering. Of course, Rose looked like she was born to wear the dress, all Amazon princess. But I didn't look too bad.

And Alice looked like a queen. Her dress was tailored to fit her skinny frame, flaring out a little from her hips. The dress was detailed in intricate lace and her ring could be seen from Mars. She was the epitome of the radiant bride. But it wasn't her expensive Couture gown, perfectly styled hair, or impeccable make up that made her so beautiful. It was the mile wide smile she hadn't been able to wipe off her face since she'd arrived two hours ago at the church to get ready.

Anyone within a ten mile radius would be able to tell there wasn't a single doubt in her mind about what she was about to do.

"I'm marrying Jasper Cullen today!" she shrieked.

I laughed, knowing that the guests and Jasper probably heard her.

"I know, Ali," I chuckled. Rose grinned at her from where she was straightening the flower girls little halo of baby's breath.

"I know," Alice giggled. "I just had to say it out loud."

I smiled at her, happy for my friend.

I couldn't help but wonder what I'd say minutes before I walked down the aisle. I'm sure I wouldn't be that calm. I'd probably be hyperventilating into a paper bag somewhere. Then poor Edward would have to come find me, so that nobody thought I'd made a run for it like in that movie with Julia Roberts.

Thoughts like that were dangerous. Edward was leaving soon. I'd come to terms with that... kind of. Either way we weren't close to that stage yet and it freaked me out completely that I'd even found myself thinking about it.

"It's time."I smiled at Mr. Brandon as he came to loop his arm through his daughters and gave Alice a quick one armed hug.

"You look beautiful," I told her and she squeezed me extra tight.

Edward and Emmett were waiting on the other side of the heavy oak doors when we scurried in after leaving Alice with her dad.

Rose hurried to Emmett's side as the music started and they shared a private look, full of love and memories.

I wrapped my arm through Edward's and he leaned down closer to my ear.

"You should wear that dress every day," he whispered, his warm breath tickling my neck.

I bit my lip against my smile. I debated telling him about the no bra situation that resulted in the less than sexy boobie tape but I decided to let him live in ignorant bliss. Besides, I was convinced that if I said the words 'boobie' or 'no bra' in the church God would strike me down.

"Why is that, Mr. Cullen?" I asked, pretending to straighten his bow tie and then it was our turn to walk down the yellow rose petal path. He kept a firm grip on my arm the whole way down, probably fearing I would fall on my face if he let go. It wasn't a completely improbable fear.

I went to go stand by Rose when we got to the alter and figured Edward would go stand by Emmett but he didn't let go of my arm. Instead he kissed my cheek and bowed almost imperceptibly.

"I think you know why," he whispered, his voice sounding deeper than I was used to.

My eyebrows shot up my forehead, making me look like an imbecile I'm sure. Did he really just try to covertly put the moves on me in front of one hundred family members and friends?

He winked as he took his place by Emmett and I hurried to my place beside Rose, hoping no one noticed my slight hesitation.

Well yes, yes he did.

"Choke on his own saliva," Rose whispered in my ear.

Before I had the chance to strangle my best friend in the church during my other best friend's wedding, the doors that we had just entered from opened again, the music changed, and the flower girl stepped out, followed closely by Alice and Mr. Brandon.

My favorite part of weddings is looking at the groom's face when he gets his first peek of the bride and this was no different. The look on Jasper's face was awe, and love, and attraction, and adoration all rolled into one.

It was one of the only times I was able to tear my eyes away from Edward the entire ceremony. The other time was when Jasper started crying a little saying his vows and tried to pass it off as a throaty cough. Yeah. Right.

The rest of the ceremony went off without a hitch. Emmett didn't make any Emmett-like comments, loud enough for us to hear them anyway. I didn't trip on my dress. And Jasper only cried that once.

This was probably in part because of the threat Alice made regularly before the wedding. I wasn't really listening but I got the main idea, which was that if we messed up her wedding day she'd make us cry like little girls in front of all the nice party guests. She may have even made Emmett sign a legalized document stating that he would be on his best behavior. Pixie was not messing around.

And now the true test came; the speeches. Rose had just had her turn, making Alice cry. Seriously it was beautiful; I heard several sniffles from the audience. Now it was my turn and the pressure was on. I stood nervously, smoothing invisible wrinkles from my dress.

"As most of you know I'm Alice and Jasper's best friend," I began, chancing a glance at Rosalie who had just used those exact words a moment before. "Although I get the feeling they tell everyone that."

Rose mock pouted and I heard a few chuckles from the audience. Thank you little baby Jesus! I really did not know what to do with awkward silences. I could just picture myself laughing like a maniac while the crickets chirped in the distance.

Edward reached for my hand and gave me a supportive smile from his seat next to mine.

"I remember the first time Alice saw Jasper," I continued, shooting a grin at Jasper who was probably formulating plots to kill me in my sleep right about now. "Alice, Rose, and I were watching football tryouts and right in the middle of it all was this tall skinny kid. He catches the ball, turns, and takes off running. Very impressive."

Jasper cringed, knowing what was coming next. I'm so glad I convinced Alice this was a story to tell their grandchildren. It was nice knowing the story would live on even when I was gone. My evil shoulder angel grinned wide.

"He didn't make it two feet before he was on the ground. The funny thing is there was no one around him. He just tripped over his own two feet, he did this really impressive zero gravity flip, and that was it. Now if you ask Jasper he'll give you all these excuses about muddy fields and untied laces."

There was another laugh as Jasper tried to call another excuse from his seat. Alice giggled and stretched in her seat to give him a kiss.

"But I think that was the first time he fell for Ali," I finished and someone 'awed' really loud. I think it was Emmett. "You two are perfect for each other. I love you both. Here's to an eternity of happiness."

Everyone raised their glasses and drank to the newlyweds and I sat back down, thankful to be out of the lime light.

I looked over at Edward and he gave me a heartwarming smile. No sarcastic comments? Is he feeling okay?

"What?" I whispered.

He leaned over and kissed my forehead.

"Well, Ms. Swan," he said as if pleasantly surprised.

Was he as surprised as I was that I hadn't fallen on my face? Or was he just that shocked that I could be pleasant? I can be pleasant ... I just don't see reason to make a habit of it. Then everyone expects it.

"I think you're in the wrong line of work."

I quirked an eyebrow.

"Oh yeah?"

He nodded.

"Yep. You should be writing wedding cards."

I stuck my tongue out at him and he winked, taking a swig of his wine before standing for his turn.

He looked straight at Alice and Jasper with a straight face before declaring, "Let your first child be a masculine child!"

So all in all everything was going good but I should have known it couldn't last. It all went down the drain with just one word: dancing.

I leveled Edward with a glare that could peal paint and he quirked one eyebrow. Unfortunately it seems I've used this death glare on him so much that he's become immune. Dang, I need to be more careful with those. His hand remained palm up in front of me, unaffected.

"Dance with me, m'lady?" he asked.

I folded my arms over my chest. I do not dance. Some people say they can't dance because they're being modest. I'm not one of them. I don't even dance around my apartment when I'm home alone. In other words: ain't gonna happen, truck-napper.

"And here I would have thought the look on my face would have answered your question," I said dryly.

He shrugged.

"Guess not."

We just stared at each other for a moment before he sighed and dropped his hand to his side. Good boy.

"I'm picking up a no," he said, studying my face as if he'd just realized I wasn't too keen on the idea.

"I'm so proud of you," I said sarcastically. "I knew that if I waited long enough you'd get it eventually. Now there's nothing to be ashamed of. A lot of people are slow learners."

He grinned, pulling me straight out of my seat and I yelped.

"But I know you don't mean it," he finished.

Okay so there was nothing slow about his learning capabilities. They were at a standstill.

"I meant it completely," I disagreed. "Especially not to this horrible song."

He snickered.

"I thought you'd like it." He mock pouted.

My eyes widened.

"Please tell me you didn't ask for this song," I pleaded.

He nodded, not ashamed in the least.

"It's our song."

Fire burned out of my eyes I swear.

Helplessly melting as I stand next to the sun and as she burned me, I am
screaming out for more.
Drink every drop of liquid heat that I've become, pop me open spit me out onto
the floor.

"No." I shook my head adamantly. "It is not."

He laughed.

"And if I should find the key you hide so well, will you tell me that I can spend the night?" he quoted.

I pursed my lips like I was thinking.

"Nope," I finally decided. "You're sleeping on the front lawn tonight."

He rolled his eyes.

"Be warned," I trilled. "The sprinklers come on around two am."

"It was a joke," he defended, scared of the sprinklers no doubt. "I keep forgetting your sense of humor was surgically removed at a very young age."

"I will not dance with you or anyone." I got back to the matter at hand. "I will not dance."

He chuckled.

"You sound like Dr. Seuss," he told me, tugging me towards the dance floor. "'I do not like green eggs and ham. I will not eat them in a house. I will not eat them with a mouse.'"

"Oh the king of poetry strikes again," I mumbled, knowing fighting him at this point was futile. At this point he'd probably just throw me over his shoulder and that would draw way more attention than I was comfortable with. I will be avenged however - he cannot go unpunished!

"But you know at the end of the book the guy ends up liking the green eggs and ham," he brought up, snaking his arms around my waist when we got to the middle of the dance floor.

"I hate you," I grumbled.

"He had actually never tried them before," he continued, ignoring me. He's getting better at that - just ignoring me. "Isn't that crazy?"

"I've danced before if that's what you're insinuating." I sniffed. "I went to the school dance when I was in tenth."

Edward looked surprised and I made a face at him, pushing his shoulder.

"I did. I went with Juan Garcia," I said. "I wasn't going to go but he was so hot."

"You're going to hurt my feelings love," he interrupted.

"He was the perfect combination: tall, dark, and handsome," I continued, ignoring him this time. Ha!

Edward mock pouted, pretending to be hurt.

"Don't worry," I baited. "You've got one out of three. That's pretty good."

He grinned, shaking his head.

"Yeah well I've got you now," he said in defense. "And I'm never letting you go."

I grinned despite myself.

"You going to do a victory dance?" I asked.

He grinned a particularly evil smile before putting my arms around his neck.

"That was the plan," he smirked, dipping me unexpectedly.

I yelped, causing several of the neighboring couples to titter as they danced passed. Stupid jerk.

"Do that again and I'm lining all your boxer briefs with bengay," I hissed.

He cringed at the thought.

"Rightly noted." He nodded. "So what ever happened to Juan Garcia?"

He said his name like he was something he'd just scraped off his shoe.

"Who says anything happened?" I challenged.

He frowned.

"Well then I guess I'll have to hunt him down and kill him," he said, straight faced.

I laughed, shaking my head.

"We dated for all of twenty minutes," I said. "Until he pulled me onto the dance floor. He tried to spin me and I tripped over his feet and fell."

Edward cringed.

"And if that's not bad enough the momentum was enough to knock us both over. We went flying into the food table and he broke his arm."

He blew out a breath as if I'd just confessed to a murder.

"Wow," he said. "You're right. You really shouldn't dance."

I glared at him.

"Keep it up, truck-napper." I shook my head.

He laughed.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding," he promised. "You're dancing now aren't you?"

I wasn't. I was shuffling back and forth on my feet with a death grip on Edward's shoulders.

"I'd never let you fall," he said, sounding amazingly self assured.

I quirked an eyebrow.

"Even if I was falling and would just take you down with me?" I challenged.

He shook his head, grinning.

"I'd rather fall and break my arm with you than stand here, unharmed, without you," he teased.

I leaned my head on his shoulder, rolling my eyes. Well, didn't that just sum up our entire relationship?

He still wasn't going to get away with making me dance, especially not when you factor in this ridiculous song. I'd yet to meet his parents after all.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I hope you liked it. Favorite scene/line? You can see pics of the wedding on the truck-napper blog if you're interested. And there will be more missing scenes added to the blog soon so check there in a while. There was a ton of missing reviews last time and I'm worried people are abandoning ship because Edward is leaving soon. Just trust me please. I'm a fan of happy endings too, promise. The wedding scenes will continue in the next chapter and Bella gets to meet the parents. Dun, dun, dun! The song truck-napper requested was woman by maroon 5. He's such a snot. Don't forget to ask for a preview in your review if you want one. Thanks guys!

Thanks a million times to my beta. W/out her you guys probably wouldn't have gotten this chapter so soon. She had to help me find my sense of humor again. Lol. It went missing for a second.