THE NIGHTINGALE JOURNALS

A/N: Jesus. You guys like these silly little notes? You actually read them? Who knew? Okay, I heard you. A/N at the beginning stays. Thanks for embracing my dorkiness; it makes me all kinds of happy.

Things I own: An Edward Cullen Barbie doll that kind of creeps me out. But Mr. Kimpy and Spawn broke down and gave it to me for Christmas, so I pretend to love him. *whispers* It can be our little secret.

Oh yeah, and Dr. GEM's parka is all mine, too. SM can't have it. 'Cos it actually has sex.

Things I don't own: Anything Twilight. It all belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

Thanks to ladyeire72 and lupin4tonks for pre-reading; your help in making sure the mystery is maintained was crucial.

Thanks to my beta, Trinity/TFX, who makes some of the finest baked goods in the world. Best luck to your latest endeavor, bb.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE: THE PLOT THICKENS

"Jasper, you didn't happen to leave any fingerprints on that bag, did you?"

"I was wearing gloves, so anything that happens to be on there doesn't belong to me."

"Good. Just trying to get my ducks in a row before I talk to my dad."

I pull out my phone and check the time.

5:30 AM.

Dad is most likely on his treadmill, but I'm going to give him a try anyhow. He answers on the third ring.

"Edward? What's wrong?"

I love my dad. He's been a physician for so long, he knows that I would never call him this early unless it was an emergency.

"I hardly know where to begin, Dad." I take a deep breath in, trying to organize my thoughts in my tired, addled brain. "One of the PICU nurses found a bag of morphine vials, syringes, needles, and a tourniquet taped to the back of a patient's bedside cart."

"What? Really? Is she really that careless?"

"She's definitely been getting sloppier over time, covering her tracks less diligently. It's a pattern that Bella has been able to discern recently. She's documented all of it for us, but that was before we assigned Mallory to the cam room."

"Oh, they found the evidence in the cam room?"

I can't help the smile growing on my face. "Yeah, they did. I was so close to pumping my fist in the air when I saw it."

"All right, but don't get too excited. You never know if there were problems with the camera, or the angle, or something like that."

"Hmm, I didn't think about that; I guess I was just so stoked that Jasper found evidence."

"I'll be done here shortly. Can you wait around until I get in? We can talk to Maria together?"

"Sure. I'll probably just send Bella home alone—you never know how long this will all take. Should I call security to get the camera and film ready?"

"Yes, that sounds good. I'll call Maria and let her know what we've discovered."

"Do you want to meet in your office?"

"You still have a key?"

"Yep."

"Okay, I'll see you soon," he tells me.

I'm about ready to hang up when he speaks again.

"Oh, Edward?"

"Yeah, Dad?"

"You done good, kid. I'm impressed."

"Thanks. See you soon."

My chest feels like it just doubled in size. It isn't that my father hands out praise sparingly; he's always been very nurturing and supportive. I'm amazed to be treated like an equal partner in this. It makes me feel so satisfied to know that I've earned the praise of this intelligent, successful man. Even if he weren't my father, I would want to impress him. The fact that he is my dad makes me even more determined to win his favor. He's such a good doctor and administrator; more than anything, I want to emulate him.

~xXx~

I wait until Bella is done giving report to let her know what's going down. She takes a little bit longer than usual, since her patient is critical and she needs to hand her off to a new team that will likely preside over the patient's death. It's times like that when a good nurse-to-nurse report is essential.

I watch her from the doorway, and I can't help grinning to myself. Report is a very standard medical procedure. Most medical professionals hand off a patient using some type of report system. You go over the basics, like the diagnosis and patient age, then you do a brief head-to-toe assessment of what's really going on. There are some individuals who amble all over the place, telling you information in piecemeal fashion. There are some who give you little to no information at all. There are some who take 30 minutes to give a report, when a good report shouldn't last more than 5-10 minutes.

The reason that I'm smiling is that I'm watching Bella be the consummate professional that she is, and her anal retentiveness never fails to amuse me. Don't get me wrong—she's incredibly impressive, a model for other nurses to follow. Her quirky, unique manner is what gets me. Bella is the only nurse I know who writes down her report, so she doesn't forget anything important. As if she ever would—she is far too careful to do something like that. She explained it to me once, that if she writes it down, she can be as efficient as possible, making hand-off of the patient smooth and precise. It is such a privilege to simply watch her in her element, doing what she does best.

Before she leaves the room, she goes to the bedside and leans over her little patient. She holds the small girl's hand, rubbing it tenderly, and gives her a kiss on the head. She's saying goodbye; I suddenly feel guilty, as though I shouldn't be watching such a private moment. Clearly, it is no longer private with the number of medical personnel in the room with her, but I still wish she had a little privacy to say goodbye with less chaos surrounding her. Death in a hospital is rarely quiet or serene. Life in the PICU rarely allows for perfect scenarios to unfold, however, and you have to take what you can get.

Bella slips away from the room and meets me in the doorway. "You ready to go?"

I take her hand, leading her toward the medical supply closet. It may seem lame, but at this time of day, it is the best place we can go for a little privacy. The dictation room will be full, as is the physician's workroom. This is a conversation I want to have with her alone.

Bella's eyes are wide open as I pull her into the closet.

"Edward?"

She looks like she can't imagine why we're here; she probably thinks I can't wait to bone her. While that is certainly true, I wouldn't do it immediately following the shift she just had. I do have some tact, after all.

I kiss her forehead softly before telling her. She lets out a huge, tired sigh, and I envelope her in my arms.

I can't contain my elated grin. "Jasper found something, Bella."

"What?" She's confused.

"He was moving the bedside cart in his patient's room, and discovered a baggie full of vials and syringes taped to the back of the cart."

Bella pushes me away, startled, wanting to see the expression on my face. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"No, I'm not."

"Edward, Lauren would never be that stupid. You know that. She may have been getting sloppier lately, but still. She wouldn't do that."

"You must be tired, baby," I say calmly. "Look, there's only one person who we're accusing of stealing narcs right now, and it is Lauren. There's no one else it could be!"

"I don't know. I just don't buy it. It feels wrong."

"I already called my dad, and he is coming in to meet with Maria. Security is going to pull the camera and film from the room."

"Oh! I forgot that they were in the cam room. Well, then, I guess we'll see exactly what happened. That's good."

"I know! So, listen, I need to hang around to meet with Dad and Maria, since I was the doc on duty when the bag was discovered. Do you want to hang, or would you rather go home, first?"

"Man, I'm so wiped out after this shift. I'd feel kind of weird going to your place by myself, though…"

"It's our place, Bella. You know that."

"Well, not officially," she quirks her eyebrow at me. I make a mental note to revisit the topic soon.

After all we've been through, she still sees this as my house? Dammit, we're farther along than this. I have no idea why she is being skittish about this now, but I don't have time to debate it with her; my dad is expecting me, along with security.

"Look, I'm not going to argue with you; we're both tired. If you don't feel comfortable at the loft, why don't you just lie down in the call room? I'll join you later, and we can just stay at the hospital since we both have to be back tonight anyway. We'll be able to get more sleep that way."

"Okay. That sounds good."

We both start walking toward the call rooms, hand in hand. I'm not exactly sure when we decided to be more demonstrative at work, but we're both infinitely more comfortable doing so than we were just a few weeks ago. It probably has something to do with the fact that we seem to be affixed to one another whenever we're together. It isn't even a conscious decision that we make; we simply need to be in constant contact in the same way we need to breathe. It's a completely involuntary action.

I unlock the call room door for her, then grab some fresh linens. I quickly make the bed as she yawns at my side. Grasping her by the shoulders, I force her to sit down. I carefully remove her shoes from each foot, giving her a quick foot massage, then ask her to lie down. Her eyes close the second her head hits the pillow, and I pull the covers over her, tucking her in. She has a slight smile on her face that makes her look almost angelic.

This beautiful woman is all mine, I marvel to myself.

I kiss her cheek, and whisper that I'll join her as soon as I am able.

"Remember to lock the door," she mumbles sleepily. I chuckle softly, recalling the last time we were in the call room together, door unlocked.

"Absolutely, love."

~xXx~

I'm inside my dad's office with Sam Uley, the hospital security chief on duty this weekend. He's getting the camera and tape set up to replay. It's kind of a pain in the ass, because we have to rewind more than twenty-four hours, since Jasper didn't make his discovery until the end of his twelve-hour shift. It's going to be tedious to find this evidence, but hopefully something is there.

I ask Sam to go back to the beginning of the tape, so we can get to the start of Mallory's shift. I say a secret thank you to Bella for thinking of the cam room. Fucking brilliant, my girl.

I start to fast-forward the tape. I wish I wasn't so tired, because my eyelids feel heavy and I'm not as sharp as I need to be. Then again, how hard could it be to find her taping the bag to the cart?

Every time she approaches the cart, I slow down the tape to see her actions clearly. I'm also trying to keep my eyes on her scrub pockets, because I know Bella once informed me that most nurses stash vials of meds there. I keep watching, but I never see anything suspicious.

For the most part, the tape is clear enough to see detail, so at least we don't need to worry about that. I need to remember to tell my dad to commend security, because they've done a bang up job getting everything set up perfectly.

"Goddammit, where the hell is it?" I rub my eyes, frustrated.

I watch as Jessica Stanley enters the room and takes over for Lauren. I decide to fast forward through this segment, since we know she isn't the target of our surveillance.

When I get my hand on the remote, I see something that stops my heart cold.

Jessica Stanley has a fucking bag of morphine and syringes in her hand!

My mouth falls open; I feel like I am no longer able to breathe.

What the fuck is going on?

Sam and I look at each other, stunned. He saw it, too, so I know it isn't just my tired eyes playing tricks on me. Neither of us can say anything yet.

I rewind, and play the tape in slow motion. Stanley enters the room. She shuts the door, and looks around, probably to see if the coast is clear.

Christ, is she retarded? How can she be unaware that the cam is in this room?

She pulls a baggie out of her scrubs, holding it up to view the contents inside. She couldn't have given us a better shot if she directed herself in action. Seriously, she is the worst criminal I've ever seen. I feel like I'm watching the Three Stooges, only they've all been combined into one infinitesimally stupid Jessica Stanley.

I hear Sam chuckling; he's thinking exactly the same thing. He's shaking his head slowly back and forth.

I watch her grab a roll of tape, ripping a longer piece of it off the roll. She attaches it to the baggie, then bends over and firmly attaches it to the back of the cart. The idiot didn't even wear gloves or anything to cover her tracks. She used her mouth to cut the tape from the roll. She may as well have hung a blinking neon sign above her head that says, "I am planting evidence NOW."

I'm still so fucking confused—what the hell is going on? I can't make sense of the fact that Jessica Stanley is the culprit.

"You know, she just gave us a textbook example of how to do everything in your power to get caught," Sam muses, laughing.

"I know! I can't figure it out. I mean, how could someone be so stupid? It's like she's asking to get caught!"

My dad walks into the office at that moment, to find us laughing. Understandably, he looks confused. Behind him, the PICU nurse manager, Maria, looks pissed. I can't figure out why, except that she might be upset that one of her nurses has been implicated.

"Edward, what's going on? How is the tape funny?"

"It's Jessica Stanley! She relieved Lauren on a break, and essentially held the bag up in front of the camera, then taped it onto the back of the cart! You have to actually see it to believe it, seriously. I'm just floored."

I rewind the tape to the point where Jessica walks into the room. I play everything at slow speed for Dad and Maria.

I watch my dad's countenance change, from curious, to amazed, to amused. Maria just shakes her head the entire time, as if in disbelief.

"She didn't even wear any gloves," my dad remarks.

"I know! I can't figure out what she's doing!"

Maria finally says something. "I know Jessica very well; she's worked here for a long time. There is nothing I know about her character that would lead me to believe she is capable of this kind of behavior. I guess it's possible that we've been so focused on Lauren that we've missed the signs of Jessica, but I'm still just in shock."

I think back to our tubing trip on the river, when this all started to unfold. If Jessica is the one who is responsible for all this mess, how in god's name did she get so fucked up that she nearly died? Was she trying to commit suicide or something? When she talked to Bella, she said that Mallory tainted her drink. Was she creating a ruse to keep suspicion on Lauren instead of herself?

My dad and Maria have been talking while I zoned out into my own thoughts. His question to me zaps me back to reality.

"What do you think? Has Bella seen anything suspicious from Jessica?"

"Well, yeah, I was just thinking back to the river tubing trip we all took, when Bella and I had to revive Jessica. I mean, there were signs, I guess, but we must have been misreading who the culprit was," I muse. "You know, Bella is asleep upstairs in the call room—if you want, I can go wake her up. She's the one who has the most information."

Maria looks a bit troubled. "She has to come back to work tonight; I don't want her to be off for her shift," she sighs. Then again, we really do need her feedback."

My dad nods his head, and I take off. As I take to the stairs, my mind is a flurry of thoughts and emotions. I'm still in shock and disbelief that it is Jessica.

I hastily unlock the call room door, but Bella doesn't rouse. She has her earplugs in. She looks so peaceful and innocent when she is asleep. I sit carefully beside her on the bed, gently shaking her shoulders to wake her up. She looks completely disoriented when she finally awakens; she was sleeping hard.

"Edward? Wha—why… what's going on?" She finally gets out as she removes her earplugs.

"You aren't going to believe this! The tape evidence clearly shows Jessica taping the bag to the back of the bedside cart!"

She interrupts me, shock clearly written all over her face. "Get out! No fucking way!"

"Yeah, it's true. She relieved Mallory for a break, and that's when she did it. She is trying to frame her, I think."

She shakes her head, slowly; you can tell she is still foggy from sleep.

"No, I'm not sure that's right. When she talked to me about Lauren drugging her, she was totally scared and freaked out, you know?"

"Well, that's actually why I woke you up. Dad and Maria are downstairs in his office, reviewing the tape. They want some more details from your surveillance to piece the puzzle together, now that Stanley has thrown us for a loop. Are you up to it?"

"Of course. Let me comb my hair first."

She stands in front of the mirror, and I walk up behind her, simply because I can't resist the temptation to touch her. I'm so proud of my girl, figuring all of this out. I love her mind so much. I embrace her, and she giggles.

"You aren't helping, Cullen!"

I kiss her neck. "You fucking hot, sexy, intelligent chick. How am I so lucky that you're mine?"

"Knock it off, Romeo. We need to get our asses to your dad's office, and I refuse to arrive with triple F."

I squeeze her ass, then let her go, regretfully, making a small pouty noise.

We run down the stairs, and we're both relatively awake by the time we arrive at the office door.

"Sorry we had to wake you up, Bella." Maria says with regret. "Obviously, we're all very surprised at this turn of events, and we're hoping you can help us figure out what's going on."

Sam takes a moment to get a tape recorder set up, in case Bella's testimony will need to be recalled later.

Bella takes a deep breath before she speaks. "Right, I get that. I have to say, though, that I still think there is more to this than meets the eye. I've been watching Mallory, and her behavior has been suspicious. There's also the fact that I had a conversation with Jessica, here at work, about her behavior when we went tubing on the river."

"Go on, Bellar. Anything you can remember could be helpful," my dad encourages.

"I was in charge that night. It was the first time it occurred to me that Lauren might be stealing narcs, because she collected them from everyone under the guise of wasting them on other people's behalf," she starts. "Jessica pulled me aside, and asked me if I remember her saying anything before Edward and I had to revive her. I thought that was a very strange thing to be worried about, because she nearly died. Who cares what you might have said, you know?"

"I agree. It's unexpected," Dad affirms. "Did she say anything?"

Bella looks at me, and I nod my head. "Well, Edward and I thought she said something that sounded like 'ativan.' When she asked me about it, she was very worried that Lauren was angry with her. She mentioned that Lauren was acting strange."

"Also, remember what she said about her tox screen?" I add.

"Oh, right. She also said there were benzos in her tox screen. I kind of lit into her for being so stupid, and she told me she didn't take any benzos, implying that Lauren tainted her drink."

Bella brings her hand up to her mouth, gasping.

"Oh my god, in retrospect? What if Jessica was setting Lauren up? If she did, I bought her story hook, line, and sinker! Jesus!"

"Bella, it isn't up to you to figure out who's at fault here; there's no need to take this on yourself. We're going to do an internal investigative panel, and we'll have to call on the police and the Board of Nursing to get involved. Your testimony is going to be crucial, so I recommend that you make notes now on everything you remember, and how it happened," Maria instructs her.

"Wow. How quickly is this all going to take place?"

"As soon as we can get this resolved. Now, I need your assurances that no one outside this room knows anything about what is going on. Is that clear?" my dad says with authority.

I see Bella flush while she avoids anyone's direct gaze. "I told Jasper and Alice about it, because I wanted them to keep their eyes open, too."

"That's fine, but please ask them to hold the information in confidence. I'm hoping we'll be able to move on this in the next 48 hours."

"Right. Is it okay if we go get some shuteye now? We're going to need it if we're on tonight."

"Go! Absolutely. If anything comes up as we work today, I'll either touch base with you via text or e-mail."

Bella and I head off to the call room for a few hours of sleep before we're back to the grindstone.

We cuddle in bed together, her head snuggled right into my neck. "No rest for the wicked, Cullen," she whispers, just before I nod off.

~xXx~

"Fuck fuck fuckity fuckity fuck fuck. Damn it!"

I rub my eyes before I'm able to open them. I can't imagine what has Bella so worked up at… 3:00 PM, according to my iPhone.

"Bella?"

"I can't find my fucking chapstick and I think I got my period!" she howls.

"What the fuck does chapstick have to do with anything?"

She looks at me, her mouth in a wide-open shock.

"Edward, in all the time we've worked together, you've never noticed my chapstick fetish?"

That doesn't sound even remotely kinky.

"Chapstick fetish?"

"I cannot even begin to function without chapstick or a lip gloss of some sort at the ready. I always have some in my pocket or within reach. I have a tube of chapstick hidden in every room of my apartment. I have it in my purse, my backpack, my locker, my car. I buy spare tubes to replace the myriad other tubes in my life."

"I'm so confused as to why this is important to you right now."

She gives me a look. She doesn't need any dialogue to go along with the look—it successfully conveys all the reasons why I need to understand that this is critically important.

"O-kay, let's find that chapstick, Bella, then we can move on to more important things."

"Good answer," she kisses my cheek as a reward.

I lean over the side of the bed, peering underneath. I see a small red cylinder, and I'm pretty certain this is exactly what Bella needs. I get all ready for my moment as Knight in Shining Armor.

"Oh, hey," I say as casually as I can muster. "What is this?"

She instantly swipes it from my hand. "I knew there was a reason I fell in love with you! Relief!"

"I've never known anyone who got so emotional over lip lubrication."

"Edward," she says, pointedly. "You love my lips. You've often told me they are the best lips you've ever kissed. Do you think that occurs by accident?"

I'm suddenly very afraid that I am going to fail this pop quiz.

"Uh… no?" I squeak.

"Damn straight, baby."

I let a breath out that I wasn't aware I was holding in. I've heard that mercurial female emotions can be a challenge during that time of the month, but I had no idea that would entail outbursts about missing tubes of chapstick. I might need to get a primer from my mom on this one—it would totally suck for Bella and I to clash on something as small as a tube of chapstick, for christ's sake.

I watch her move to the bathroom, slathering chapstick all over her lips. It's fucking sexy as hell, so I conclude that her obsession with lip products is completely acceptable if it results in A) Those fucking knockout lips and B) Watching her prepare said knockout lips to kiss me.

I come up behind her and lean my chin over her shoulder, inhaling her sweet smell. She lets out a small "mmmm" sound, and I move my hand over the front of her, intending to slip it into the front of her scrubs.

Her sudden jump and scream make me instantly regret my intentions. I can't imagine what the hell I've done now that could be worse than my recent chapstick debacle.

"Oh, fuck! I forgot," she explains.

She whips down her scrub pants and sits on the toilet. I watch her with interest.

She investigates the crotch of her panties, and I see what has her all upset. It's full of blood. Her face flushes beet red.

"Oh god, this is so embarrassing!"

"What? Your period?" I say in amazement.

"Well, yeah. It's embarrassing and gross."

"It isn't a big deal to me, in case that has you worried. If a little blood is going to scare me, I have no business being a doctor."

She looks up at me and gives me a grateful smile. "You're the first man I've ever known who wasn't completely freaked out by my period. I hope you know that solidifies your god-like status in my eyes. Thank you," she says with genuine relief.

"What kind of idiots have you been dating, Swan? Wait—don't answer that. I don't want to know. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"How about grabbing my backpack? I've got what I need in there."

"Sure," I say, kissing her cheek. I fetch the aforementioned backpack filled with whatever mysteries Bella has stashed in there, and return them to their rightful owner.

I watch her fish around, finally procuring a small zippered bag. She pulls out a tiny, white cup that looks like a rubber tulip. She folds it into itself, almost like a New Yorker eating a hot slice. She slips it inside her pussy, fidgets with it for a minute, and then takes off her scrubs and panties. As she washes her hands in the sink, I realize that I have no idea what I just witnessed.

Apparently, the look on my face gives me away, because Bella starts to giggle.

"What?" I say, a little bashful.

"You look like you just watched me give birth to an alien!" She giggles even harder.

"No, I'm pretty sure that to give birth, something needs to come out of you. That clearly went into you."

"It's a Diva Cup. It's a small silicone cup that collects my period flow. I can leave it in place for up to twelve hours, then I simply remove it, wash it out, and put a new one in. I have a few that I use in rotation. Alice is the one who introduced them to me—you know how big she is on minimizing her carbon footprint. These are so much easier to use than pads or tampons, with none of the waste that goes along with it. I love them."

I just look at her, stunned. I've never heard of such a cool thing, but I really shouldn't be surprised that Bella knows all about this. I keep learning new little facets of her personality, and the more I learn, the more deeply I fall in love with her. She's fascinating, and amazing, and she's all mine.

It makes me want to stake a claim on my territory, right fucking now. Plus, as a bonus, she has nothing on the lower half of her body at the moment.

I lean over and give her the sweetest kiss I can conjure up. I want her to understand that no matter what time of month her body deems it to be, she is always beautiful and desirable to me.

"How do you do that, Cullen?" she says, keeping her lips firmly attached to mine.

"Do what?" My lips aren't giving up custody of hers yet, either.

Her hands are in my hair, so that her thumbs are over my ears. She breaks the kiss with a small complaint.

"I'm all bloaty and crampy and hormonal, but you make me feel like Helen of Troy."

"Well, I don't want to pick a fight with you, especially right now, but Helen doesn't even come close to you, baby."

"I knew it! You are a wizard! You let go of all these magical words, and they seduce my brain and my body. Spells! You are full of manipulative spells!" She pokes her finger on my chest to emphasize every indignant word.

I invoke my very best inner Harry Potter voice, complete with British accent. "A wizard? Me? But I can't be… a wizard."

She gets a look in her eyes that can only be described as feral. "You do understand that pulling out the British accent is a total panty dropper, right? I cannot. I just, I cannot. You turn me into mush."

"Apparently," I gesture towards her naked lower half. I take out my pocket penlight from my scrub top, the one that I use to assess papillary reaction, and wave it like a wand over Bella's head. "Alohomora."

She quirks an eyebrow at me. "Do you really think you need an unlocking spell to gain entrance into my orifices?"

"We wizards always hedge our bets, just in case."

"C'mere, Harry. My mouth is open." She grabs the collar of my scrub top, pulling me into her. Just as our lips touch together, she jerks away.

"What?"

"Is that bloody door locked this time?"

We both crane our necks, and see that the door is, indeed, locked. We laugh out loud remembering how we forgot to check last time.

"Shower?" I look at her, hopefully.

"Oh, yes. Got to clean up this mess. Why don't you get it ready while I rinse out my underwear?"

I turn on the shower to get it warmed up and procure some towels. Bella grabs a small cosmetic case and pulls out her shampoo and shower supplies.

She steps into the shower with me, and I have a warm washcloth all ready for her. She sets her stuff on the shelf, and I get to work on her body wash. It's the same scent as her perfume, Happy, and every time I smell it, I'm reminded how much it is the essence of Bella. Happy, and beautiful, and so loving.

When I feel her hand running over my cock, I smile. How does she know what I want before I even know it myself? Wait, that's bullshit. My baseline is that I always want my cock to be in touch with her body. There is something about this woman that draws me in, and holds me tight, and she has no fucking idea she's even doing anything.

That first day I saw her, in medical school? I remember exactly how I felt. It was like I had just been blasted by a tidal wave, her force was immeasurable. I consider myself to be a smart man; I'm not someone who is easily fooled, or coerced, into doing anything I don't want to do. But somehow, from the moment I smelled her, I was hooked. When she looked over her shoulder at me, I was gone.

I've never believed in love at first sight. I used to find the mere notion of it ridiculous. Bella was simply looking over her shoulder, a completely benign action, probably not even aware of what she was doing. I can say with full conviction that when our eyes met, I was on fire. I didn't know it then, but cupid shot his arrow in the center of the target that day, a bullseye. I knew—I fucking knew—I would never be able to live a satisfied life unless she was part of it. As much as I wanted to deny it, make light of it, I knew that I was deluding myself. Everything I've done since that moment has been in an effort to lead me directly back to her.

As I wash her hair and her body, I marvel at how exquisite she is. To her, we're just taking a shower, connecting through touch. To me? This is my destiny. I understand that this is where I belong. I will one day be who I'm meant to be, because I have Bella.

I feel her warm hands on my cheeks. "Cullen? You need caffeine? You're zoning out on me, dude!"

I look at her and smile so hard, I'm sure my face is going to fall off. I am full of love for this woman, and it is almost overwhelming me. I will never be able to adequately express just how much she means to me.

I pull her body into mine, embracing her tightly. I feel too emotional to look into her eyes as I say what needs to be said, so I whisper in her ear.

"This is what bliss looks like."

I back her against the shower wall, wrap her legs around my waist, and kiss her with everything I have in my soul. I need for her to feel exactly what it means to be connected to someone, to be confused about where one person ends and the other begins. Somewhere along the way, we've been fused together, and I'm only ever really whole when I'm inside my Bella.

"Quit being a diva and ditch the cup. I need to feel you right now."

Typically, a statement like that would be the start of an epic battle of words and banter, but not this time. I can tell she feels it, too, this emotional energy that runs a complete circuit through both of us every time we touch. It reminds me of electricity, how it is always seeking to be grounded every time it leaps from one surface to another. The minute we touch, the circuit is complete, and our energy is magnified. We're worth so much more together than we will ever be apart.

I feel Bella removing her cup, and I carefully slide my cock into her. This isn't about sex, though, not today. It's about two puzzle pieces fitting together perfectly. I slide in and out, over and over, slowly, wonderfully. Our eyes never lose sight of each other. We're mesmerized by what's happening between us, as if some spell has been cast upon us, and we have no choice but to move together in this dance of love.

Neither one of us says a word. I'm only vaguely aware of anything outside of Bella. I hear the sound of our bodies slapping together in the water. I hear the water shooting out of the showerhead. I hear the skin on Bella's back make slurping noises as it sticks to the tile wall, and then loses suction, in time with my thrusts.

Finally, Bella leans in and kisses me so sweetly, and I feel her clench around me. I grab her perfect ass, hold it steady, and release into her. It's a dance that has been done for thousands of years, but in this moment, it's like we're the first ones to discover this sacred secret.

Our foreheads are touching, and our panting breath joins the shower sounds all around us. I slowly unwind her legs from my waist, setting one leg down carefully after the other, and give her one more kiss, because I can't stand to have her mouth inches from mine and not to have it touch.

I turn off the shower and grab a towel to dry her body. I'm very thorough, drying every last bit, because each square inch of surface area is hallowed territory to me. I want every touch of mine to convey exactly what she means to me, just how much I love her. I never imagined I could feel this way; I'm slightly concerned that I'm going to burst open from the amount of happy, glowing energy I feel surging inside myself.

Bella puts her Diva Cup back in place, and we get dressed without uttering a word between us. I stand next to her while she combs her hair and puts it up into a ponytail, my fingers barely touching her hip. It's a completely involuntary reaction, as if my body knows I need to touch her as much as I need to breathe.

Once she's ready to go, she takes one look at me and says, "Caffeine."

I bring her hand to my lips and kiss it in agreement. We grab our backpacks and head out to Starbucks, grinning like a couple of idiots. I've apparently turned into a complete cheeseball, but I know that with Bella next to me, working together, we're fucking invincible.

END NOTE: Period sex is a nod to the lovely MJinaspen; the Diva Cups nod is to MsKathy. I love you both. More information on Diva Cups can be found here: www [dot] divacup [dot] com

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