Summary: Dipper Pines knew Gravity Falls was rooted deeply in the mythological, but between a demon and a telekinetic vying for his attention and a surge of uprising creatures, he just can't seem to catch a break.

Pairing: Billdip and Dipeon (both one-sided)

Magic and Mayhem

"Feel my frigid fingers."

The teen squawked, recoiling from the hand against his cheek. "Mabel!"

His sibling laughed at his misery but returned her fingers to her pockets. "Aw, lighten up bro-bro!"

"We are about to hold a meeting with the supernatural inhabitants of these woods! You need to focus!"

"But Dipper!"

"We are representatives of the town. If we screw this up then–"

"We'll be fine!"

Dipper gargled out incoherent noises of frustration and shook his hands in the air. His sister's boundless optimism was not what he needed at the moment.

"Just–try to focus. Please." He inhaled. "We could be killed if we mess up."

Sensing his unease, Mabel stilled with a frown. "If it makes you feel better, I could do the talk–"

"No." Dipper jerked, eyes wide. "No that's a horrible idea."

Mabel recoiled and averted her gaze.

Dipper lifted the brim of his cap and brushed an agitated hand through his hair. "No. Look. I'm sorry I–I'm just…" He sighed.

Honesty was the best policy and who better to confess than to his twin?

"I'm scared, Mabel."

His sister perked. "Well why didn't you just say so?"

He exhaled heavily and replaced his hat. He slid a hand to his back pants pocket and sighed. Good. His note-cards were still there.

He bit his lip. "It's not easy to say."

Mabel rolled her eyes. "Just because you're a boy doesn't mean–"

"–I'm not allowed to express my feelings. I know, I know, but you know our culture is–"

"–riddled with inhumanities that, while we can try to change society's norms and expectations, progress can't be made overnight. Yadda yadda yadda."

Dipper huffed but cracked a smile. "That almost sounds like what I plan to say at the meeting."

"Well you did write a speech in note-card form."

Dipper rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well."

She nudged him with an elbow. "Well?"

He smiled. "Well–" He stiffened as his gaze locked on a landmark. "We're here."

In front of them, curved around a rock, hung a slew of vines. They twins stilled and exchanged silent stares before nodding. Dipper stepped forwards and pushed aside the vines.

His jaw dropped. "Oh my gosh…"

Were they even still in the woods?

Massive trees rose from the ground and sheltered the expansive clearing with shadows from unusually large leaves. Unconventional buildings littered the space ranging from houses woven out of shifting tree roots to tiny rooms made out of mushrooms. But what hooked Dipper's attention wasn't the place straight out of a fantasy, but the creatures.

It seemed all the creatures under the sun had shown up. Dipper spotted the familiar woodland inhabitants, such as the gnomes and manotaurs, to the unfamiliar. Some of the creatures he recognized from books filled the space. Satyrs, centaurs, fairies and even phoenixes mingled. Then there were many of the creatures he wasn't too familiar with.

A wyvern lounged on a sun baked rock while a winged horse with the head and shoulders of an eagle conversed with the resting creature. He bit his lip. That…looked like a hippogriff from European mythology and…his gaze dropped to the freshwater river flowing at the edge of the clearing. A mermaid with a gap toothed smile and wooly hair giggled with a merman with scaly cheeks. Could that be an African Jengu and…some other mer-person?

Curiosity spiking, he widened his eyes and swiveled his gaze. A silver fox with nine tails flicked its tails rhythmically in time to the beat of a yeti tapping its large hands against the rocks.

Did they all live in the woods?

Mabel, having recovered first, placed her palm beneath his chin and shut his mouth.

"This…" Dipper breathed. "This is incredible."

"Who knew there were so many of these guys coming?"

Dipper promptly forgot his awe in place of lightening fast fear.

He paled with a squeak. "I'm going to have to talk in front of all of them?"

Mabel patted his shoulder but even her stomach churned. "You'll do fine."

The teen bit his lip. "Do you really think I'll be able to convince them not to attack the town?"

His sibling patted her chest. "I'm certain you can! Just remember to breathe!"

"Okay…" he inhaled and let out the air slowly, mentally preparing himself. "Okay…"

She grinned. "Now let's go find Jeff! He should be hanging out with his gnome crew, right? So…"

While she scanned the place for the gnome leader, Dipper once again observed his surroundings and focused on his breath.

"C'mon…" He murmured. "Just gotta breathe…"

A gloved hand thudded onto his shoulder.

"Well lookie here!" A high-pitched voice cheered next to his ear and he jumped. "The human representatives have arrived!"

Dipper bit back a yelp when the same hand spun him around. He staggered, slightly dizzy, as the young man with strikingly blond hair grinned with shark's teeth.

"Want some deer teeth to celebrate your arrival?"

Dipper shook off the hand, scrunching his face. "Uh–"

"Hon, the boy would much prefer an amulet that I created." A blue suited teen sauntered towards the pair.

"Um–"

The first stranger twirled his hand and deer teeth floated into his hand. Dipper balked in disgust and and retreated a few steps.

"Whoa, hold up." He protested, lifting his hands. "Who are you guys?

"Bill Cipher, mind demon!" Greeted the first man with an outstretched hand, still holding the teeth in his other hand.

The second young man glared at the man's hand and an turquoise aura surrounded the limb before jerking the black sleeved arm to the side. Bill huffed but resisted the next pull of the poofy haired teen's telekinesis.

"I," the teen sauntered forwards while Bill rolled his eyes and shook off the magic, "am Gideon Gleeful.

The teen grasped Dipper's hand and started to bow. "It's a pleasure to–"

Dipper ripped his hand free with a scowl. That weirdo was about to kiss his hand. Ew.

Gideon pouted but persisted. "What color amulet would you–"

"Look," Dipper prepared to set them straight. "I'm just here to sort out the conflict between the town and the residents of these woods." Dipper pulled out his note cards. "So the sooner we start the meeting the better. So there's no need to give me anything, or–why are you looking at me like that?"

Bill and Gideon exchanged silent glances before Bill spoke. "You gonna tell him or am I?"

"Tell me what?" Dipper heart sank.

Gideon lifted his eyes to the sky and rocked on his heels. "Well…"

Bill rolled his eyes and spat out the news. "You're not just the representatives for the town."

Dipper frowned.

"You two represent the entire human race."

He dropped his cards.

~oOo~

Notes:

This one's a shortie cause I have a theater performance this week and I promised to post something by Wednesday at the latest and ahhh I'm totally fretting about the performance but hopefully I'll do alright.

super: Ha ha ha, the next oneshot could be Curing the World: One Reader at a Time. Ha ha ha.

lol: Teamwork to destroy older siblings homework at its finest!

LA DE DA: Whoops? It seems my shark's grin is just like Bill's... Now if only I wouldn't giggle like Gideon...

dipdot: Hmm, I'll check out quizlet. It sounds like it'll be good for checking answers.

New Reader: Ha ha ha, I'm not sure how the idea of the two blonds marrying each other popped into my mind but I figured, why not? Ha ha, I liked that scene too! Ooo, jealous blonds. I'll see what I can do! (I'll probably take forever to get around to writing the story though, cause I'm a slow writer.) Thanks for the encouragement!
P.S. You lucky duck! You're tempting me into wanting to buy some chocolate ice cream!

Thanks for reviewing!