Jay won't even talk to me anymore. I mean I've been to his apartment like a hundred times and still no progress. Last time I was there he said some pretty hurtful things to me. He told me I was a whore and called me out on all the things I've done with Eddie and his partners. In his words:

"No wonder nobody wants to be around you. You're just some stupid junked up WHORE that Eddie and his friends get their kicks from when they can't find a real woman to fill their needs. Your TRASH Emma, you hear me TRASH."

Then his voice got really low when he said, "Who the hell are you to judge me and say I have a problem. Look in a mirror some time."

Let's just say that hurt for HIM of all people to say that to me and the fucked up thing about it is…He's right. He can be high out of his mind, but he can still tell how worthless and pathetic I am. God it must be really noticeable if even high on heroine Jay can see right through me. Let's just say that after his little reality check I haven't had the strength to go see him. It just hurts too much to not be able to do anything.

BUT I have a plan. If I can't help Jay I'll just find someone who can.

"Hey Alex… I was wondering if you could do me a favor?"

"Anything kid, as long as it's mildly legal."

"Cool…cool…"

"Alright. Out with it. What do you want?"

"I need…I need you to talk to Jay for me."

"Why me?!"

"Because he's completely shut me out Alex and I can't deal with him being this way. I mean I need him to be Jay again. Don't you understand that?"

"Yeah, I know what you mean. Ever since Jay's been doing drugs he hasn't been himself and it's really starting to get to me."

"So you understand where I'm coming from…"

"Speaking of where you're coming from…How are you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean…I'm not blind Emma and neither was Jay before his recent lapse in judgment. I know you're on something. I can see it in your face and how you carry yourself…"

"Alex, you're crazy. I'm not doing ANYTHING."

"Right so all that stuff about you…and Eddie…and…and Eddie's friends is what…just a figment of everyone's imagination. Emma I can't believe you'd think I was that stupid."

Where did she get off even bringing this up? I mean it's MY private life NOT HERS.

"You know what Alex, I gotta go. Just say you'll do me the favor and I'll be on my way." I spoke with no emotion or feeling. She didn't deserve to see any.

"You didn't hear a word I just said to you, did you?" She actually sounded worried.

"Are you gonna do it or NOT?"

"Of course I'll do it, it's Jay. But you still need to get help too." She looked like it actually hurt her to say this to me. "I've tried to ignore it and act like it was just another faze for you, but it's NOT and I'm really worried about you and if Jay was in his right mind he'd be worried too. Emma…Please just…"

"Thanks for saying you'd do me this favor. I'll see you around." I began to walk toward the door. I couldn't take what she was saying anymore. I had to get out of there.

"Emma don't do this. I just wanna…"

Before she could finish her sentence I slammed the door as hard as I could. Fuck Alex if she was gonna be like this then I was just gonna take some space from her.