"What are you doing here?" Betty asked in casual surprise when she saw Kate appear in her room, "Why aren't you at the party? It's for you after all."

A part of Kate wanted to bolt straight back out into the corridor at the ambiguous welcome from Betty, but she forced her feet to stay still and her knees to stop shaking. Betty was sitting on the edge of her bed, hunkered over, with her head turned towards the redhead and a drink in one hand. And try as hard as she might, Betty was doing a lousy job of hiding how miserable she was.

"I wanted to talk to you." Kate said meekly, trying hard to keep her eyes on Betty, but failing in the end and letting them gaze at the floor.

"Talk? About what?" Betty asked with a sense of oncoming uneasiness like a danger lurking around the corner.

"My touring offer."

"What's there to talk about?" Betty tried to deflect, but feeling uncomfortable enough that she got up off her bed and poured herself some more whiskey, "You've got a chance at the big life. The thing you always wanted. You're going and you should go so what is there to talk about?"

"Do you really think that?... That I should go?" Kate chanced and took a step forward, her brows knitting slightly.

The question caught Betty slightly off guard and she took a moment to take a deep breath and catch the mask that threatened to slide off her face. She was grateful she could occupy herself with her glass and bottle and then hide behind her drink as she lied through her teeth.

"Of course. It's your big chance... your dream..."

Kate nodded and looked back down at the floor. Betty's eyes unconsciously floated down to the same spot and they both stared at it as if they both knew very well that not a single truth had been told since Kate had come in.

"Don't dreams make you happy?" Kate murmured.

"Well... I guess they should... I figure enough misery finds us without going in search of it ourselves."

Kate nodded again and a heavy silence fell between the two friends, both staring at the same spot on the old floor. Betty felt like they were falling back into the same pattern they always did. But Betty didn't feel brave today. She was tired and hurt. Today wasn't going to be a day of no return. She drew a breath to say anything she could to just move along those tracks as quickly as possible and get it over with.

"Well, I'm not happy." Kate said in a defiant tone, raising her eyes and looking at Betty.

Oh, there was the danger Betty had sensed. It made her feel like she was walking a tightrope, precariously unbalanced, waiting to fall all the while hoping to make it to the other end. She kept her eyes glued to floor, childishly thinking that if she didn't look at Kate then maybe whatever Kate was trying to say would just go away and they could go back to their ridiculously complicated and incomprehensible version of normal.

"It's just the jitters. Once you get into the swing of things, you'll be fine." Betty tried to reason.

"You're not happy."

"Well, it's not my dream coming true. I don't really think the country would want to hear me sing." Betty tried to shrug off with a laugh that came out a little too nervous.

"If my dreams make you miserable then I don't really know if they're dreams I want to come true."

It made Betty stop breathing for a moment and Kate could hear it. This wasn't the road Betty had wanted them to speed along on and instead they were headed dangerously close to a road not traveled. And so the battle for the steering wheel began, half of Betty wanting them to zoom straight off the overpass and the other half wanting them to finally get off the rocky road and take the scenic route.

"Yeah, well, there's no reason to worry about me. I'll be alright like always. Anyways, you're going off touring so I guess it doesn't matter now." Betty brushed off with a shrug while trying to ignore the knot that was growing tighter in her stomach.

"I... I never really gave an answer." Kate admitted meekly.

"There's a party here for you." Betty said in confused surprise, her hand pointing for a moment in the direction of where the rest of the girls were, "You're packed and everything."

"Yes, I know." Kate agreed and then grew a little quieter, "I really did think that this was all I wanted."

"Well then what's the problem?" Betty asked in slight frustration, "You get to sing, see the world probably, be a star. You'll have all you ever dreamed of."

Betty was growing tense as the conversation veered too close to her raw heart. She was tired of taking nose dives for nothing and throwing herself on the grenades Kate kept recklessly tossing everywhere. There was a time where Betty would have flipped over backwards at the slightest notion that perhaps Kate did feel something for her in return. And there still was a part of Betty that wanted to do that. But the blond was too sore from all the hope that kept shattering in her face and she took that naive part of herself that was still fawning all over Kate and locked it in the dark basement of her soul until it finally learned to shut up.

"That's just it, Betty. It's not all I ever dreamed of."

Kate began to feel her heart rattle between her ribs as she noticed that not only was she baring her soul, she was also standing up to Betty. Something within her burned hotter every time Betty tried to kill the conversation, refusing to be brushed aside. This was the leap of faith, she mused, that she had heard so much about. Kate felt like she was flinging herself into the abyss that was Betty's love and hurt; hurling herself into the warmth that she didn't think she deserved and the pain that she knew she was mostly to blame for. But Kate had realized that she had always taken the safe routes, the ones that posed the least threat to her and that required the least amount of struggle or fighting. They were the paths she could always find an excuse for and could pin the blame on someone else for if she ended up hurting someone along the way. That someone was usually Betty. Kate had run back to Ivan because he was her fiancée after all, she was going touring because it was her dream after all. But now Kate had run all out of excuses.

Back in her room, with her Bible in hand, Kate's mind had drifted off to a childhood memory that she thought she had forgotten entirely. She remembered when she was little and her mother was brushing her hair, humming quietly to hush Kate's tears. Her father had yelled at her so loudly that her ears were ringing. She remembered that she couldn't wrap her little head around the fact that both her parents should have loved her, but both showed her that love differently. And it was then that she had decided that love was just something talked about, but hardly ever found or kept and that's why they talked about in the Bible so much along with all the other commandments people never kept. Mothers were gentle because that was their place and fathers were stern because they saved souls from damnation. Love simply had nothing to do with it.

But then Betty had appeared in her life, a damned soul who showed her that love was simple. It was there, just where it wanted to be, no matter what anyone else thought of it. And though it wasn't for free, Betty had shown her that it could be fought for and that no one could take it away unless they gave it away themselves. And there, in her room, Kate had unconsciously turned to her favorite verse from the Bible- Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. If her father didn't love her then he knew nothing of God. And if he knew nothing of God then he couldn't preach to her, judge her, or damn her. That's why Kate never saw her father's God and could never obey him. Vernon knew nothing of love, but Kate did. In the end, it was the deviant that had shown God to the preacher's daughter. Finally, something made sense to Kate. And it made her happy.

Kate looked at Betty with that newfound realization while Betty looked at her in confusion, her brows knotted, her eyes wary.

"All I ever really wanted was to be happy." Kate said softly.

"Well doesn't singing make you happy?" Betty added quickly.

"It does." Kate agreed, "But touring doesn't seem to. The idea of leaving you doesn't make me happy. It makes me sad."

"Well, I... it's just... you'll get over..." Betty stammered out, helplessly tripping over her words like never before.

"I don't want to leave you, Betty." Kate whispered, her heart practically jammed up in her throat, making it hard to breathe.

"What?" Betty whispered, feeling all her knotted insides suddenly plummet to the floor and using all her strength just to keep standing.

"I love singing, it's true. It makes me feel free... and alive." Kate explained slowly, "But part of that comes from the people listening to me. It's like I'm sharing a part of myself and it's not the same with strangers looking back at me. I want you to be there to hear me... There are so many songs I sang to you, Betty... so many I still want to. I don't have to tour. At least not now."

Kate's last sentence jarred something in Betty hard. At least not now. No, of course not now, maybe later when Betty was all hung up on Kate again. It made Betty angry and Kate watched with surprise as that anger rose to the surface and spilled over the blond's face. Betty was tired of the rollercoaster that was Kate's wild emotions. Betty felt like she didn't deserve always feeling like she was going to either faint or throw up. She had promised herself that there would be no more of this. Kate had several different chances to change things and never took advantage of them and now it was just too late. Betty had enough punches to the gut to learn her lesson. She was just going to dust herself off and move on. She wasn't going to let Kate play with her heart again only to go running off like a shot once she changed her mind or something scared her.

"Yeah, well, now or later, doesn't make much of a difference in the end. When you're gone, you're gone and I can't be following you." Betty replied coldly through her clenched teeth as she sat back down on the edge of her bed and looked at the wall, "Maybe you should go back to your party and celebrate whatever it is you've decided."

Betty's remark hit Kate with such force that she had to take a step back. Kate didn't know exactly what she had been expecting, but she knew that this definitely wasn't it.

"Betty, don't you want to hear what I have to say?" she asked with hurt and fear tainting her voice.

"It doesn't matter." Betty replied in frustrated exhaustion, "Just go."

"Betty, what's wrong?" Kate asked, walking up to her and putting a hand on her shoulder.

The nearness of Kate's hand made Betty spring up off the bed, making Kate dart her hand away and take a step back again.

"Get out!" Betty demanded loudly, pointing to the door.

Betty never yelled at her. The volume vibrated through the redhead and made her sick to her stomach. It hurt her and even more, it terrified her. She had left her excuses and defenses behind and entered in good faith only to be met with an attack. She wanted to run away like a wounded animal and simply tell herself that she had tried and it just wasn't meant to be.

But Kate knew that she really hadn't tried yet. She hadn't tried like Betty had, she hadn't fought and hurt like Betty. So she dug her heels into the floor, adamant that she would not run this time, determined to make Betty understand.

"Betty, please, listen to me." the redhead pleaded.

"Get out! Just get out!" Betty shouted.

"No! I'm not going anywhere." Kate countered and reached out for the blond.

Kate's touch was too much for Betty. She felt the electricity of it run along her skin, both scalding and tingling. She was afraid she would give in under it, she was afraid she would surrender again when she swore not to. The barrage of conflicting emotions were reeking havoc within Betty, almost scaring her. Betty didn't believe in the words she was shouting and neither did Kate. Betty didn't really know why she was yelling, why she was telling Kate to go when she wanted her to stay. She wanted to escape, to run and run until there was nothing after her anymore. But she didn't move because running wasn't a thing she did and her heart was pounding hard enough to make her stay put. It was ironic, Betty noticed in the chaos, that flowering hope hurt almost as much as it did when it died.

"Get out! I want you out of my room! I don't want to see you anymore!"

"Betty, stop it!" Kate yelled and suddenly pulled Betty into a tight embrace as if she was keeping her from running and falling apart at the same time.

"You don't mean it... You don't mean any of this... You'll just leave again... You're leaving again..." Betty stuttered out, unable to either pull herself out of Kate's arms or stay there.

"Just listen to me. I won't go... I'm not going... I'm staying, Betty... I'm staying here... with you."

And at that moment, their roles reversed for once. It had all been too much for even Betty. Her armor was on the surface, but beneath she was fragile and cracked. All the pain, toil, and worry of the past months rushed over Betty and crashed into her. She wasn't that strong, she wasn't that indestructible, she couldn't be that undefeated all the time. She finally broke and crumbled under it all and her knees gave way and she slid down to the floor along with Kate who was the only thing still keeping her together. Her head dropped under the crushing weight of her sorrow and hurt and she cried into Kate's shoulder as they rested on their knees and Kate soothed her with soft words into her ear and a light touch down her back.

"I'm so sorry, Betty... I'm so sorry for everything." Kate whispered, tears coming to her own eyes.

The destructive waves crashed off of Betty and slammed straight into Kate's chest, giving her the most blatant picture she had ever seen of the damage she had done. For once, Kate felt only Betty's pain as the blond had done so many times for her. Kate had never wanted it to be this way, she had never wanted to do Betty any harm. Kate had run in circles and figure eights, down ladders and up stairs, across roads and near ledges, and over bridges while burning them along the way. But no matter where she had been running and no matter what she was running from, Betty had been there, calling her name and holding out her hand. Kate squeezed her eyes shut, so mad at herself for being so stupid and blind. And as she felt Betty's tears soak through her dress and dampen her shoulder, she knew that it was her fault, her mess to clean and her wound to heal. She hid her face in Betty's hair and promised herself and God to fix Betty. She would take all the parts of her that she had broken and she would put them back together, even if it took an entire lifetime to do it. Betty had helped her open the door to her new life the first time they met. Now Kate would help Betty close the door of the pain that gnawed at them both.