Chapter 26:
"Come here, you pretty thang," I whisper, holding out my hand.
I was lying through my teeths, cause all I really wanted to do was chop that sucker with a weed-whacker.
But I ain't one to mess up an opportunity.
She's coming closer, but I dip my hand into my pocket and slip a little blue pill in my mouth.
I wanna make sure I'm good, even if that thang is gonna eat me alive.
I swallow my pride, and take her hand.
She leads me to her bedroom, and it's as moldy as rotten cheese. Flowers everywhere.
And ruffles. Too many damn ruffles. Dust floatin' by the light of the window.
And all I can sees is her ass. It's a little wrinkly, but I ain't one to fuss.
She's gotta get on the bed on her own. I ain't a youngin' no more, couldn't lift her up if I wanted too.
"You got some music?" I ask. I don't see no record player anywhere, just some fancy doohickey.
She pulls out a shiny disk, and inserts it in. Out comes purdy jazz music, just like my family used to play.
It's just as clear as the morning' sky.
It almost makes me forget the fact about the hair on her legs.
It was itchier than two furry rabbits screwin' in a wool sock…
A/N: Someone get Bella a razor, STAT!