Before it all starts… SO sorry about the delay in update, not having internet completely and totally sucks. But I hope you like this, please let me know you're still out there! I will absolutely finish this story before Christmas. Just so you know ;)
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Amber
I look at myself in the mirror in the hair salon and don't really know what to think. Or actually, I know what I think. I think my new haircut is awesome. Since my fringe was so overgrown it was long enough for the hairdresser called Simon to make it into a side fringe, and that makes my face look more open and my eyes wider; frames it in a really cool way. I can see my eyebrows for once and for the first time ever I don't think it looks weird with them being so dark against my pale skin and light eyes. It just looks pretty. And my hair no longer reaches down to below my shoulder blades, but is just long enough to touch my shoulders. The longest parts that is, Simon has cut so many layers that it just looks like a soft, big mass of curls with some of them poking out here and there in all the right places. I didn't really know my hair could be this curly. And it's amazing; my head feels so much lighter, I feel much lighter. I look older and younger at the same time, like some rock chick from the eighties or something. Hair wise, I could never do the clothes unless of course I'll be allowed to go to Kate and Elliott's party. Somehow I doubt dad would let me. And that's the thing I'm not sure what to think about; what dad will say about this new haircut. He was the one who told me I needed to cut it to get it out of my eyes so he should be pleased, right? I text him to say that I'm done and on my way before I pay Simon using the card dad gave me. I thank the guy way too many times but he really did an awesome job. I walk out of the salon and go next door into the café where dad and Ana went to wait until I was done. I spot them at a table in the far corner and walk over to them. I think dad is looking right at me but his expression doesn't change. Relieved I walk over to them and when I stand right in front of the table dad's chin suddenly drops.
"Amber!" He bursts out. "I didn't recognize you."
He stands up and looks at me; Ana glances up from where she sits and smiles. I hold my breath waiting to see if dad will be angry.
"You look so beautiful, so grown-up" Dad says and kisses my forehead. "Brave move to cut off so much."
"You're not angry?" I ask him as he gets me to sit down at their table.
"Why would I be angry?" Dad frowns and I notice Ana smirking a little.
I just shrug and grin sheepishly. Dad sighs lightly and ruffles my newly ruffled hair.
"I'll get you something to drink, what do you want?" He asks me.
"Can I have a hot chocolate please?" I ask, not really knowing why I'm suddenly so in the mood for hot chocolate. Haven't had it since I was little I think but right now I totally want one. "Whipped cream but no marshmallows."
"Coming up. Ana? Another tea?"
"That would be lovely" Ana smiles up at my dad and he smiles back. I've never seen him smile at any women that way, I've barely seen him smile at anyone actually. Dad goes off to get our drinks and I look at Ana. She smiles a little shyly at me and I grin stupidly back.
"Your hair really is beautiful, Amber" Ana says. "It suits you perfectly. How did you come up with the idea to cut it that way?"
"Thanks! I didn't really come up with it." I shrug. "I just asked Simon the hairdresser to do something different and he pretty much just got to it."
"Good thing he knew his stuff."
"Yeah!" I let out a little laugh. "What have you and dad been doing?"
Ana smiles again and starts tidying the table a little bit, arranging the cups together.
"We've been talking about this and that." She says. "You mostly, you're father shared some stories from when you were little."
My eyes snap wide open. I never thought dad discussed me with other people except for maybe his shrink when I'm driving him particularly crazy.
"I didn't even know there were any stories." I mumble and feel an annoying blush on my face.
"Oh, there are some lovely ones" Ana takes her hands of the cups as a girl with like fifty piercings comes and clears the table. "Perhaps your dad remembers some of them that you don't."
"Maybe."
Ana tilts her head to the side and I feel almost uncomfortable even though I like her very much. When she looks at me with her super blue eyes I feel like I'm see-through.
"I think you and your dad have a very special bond, Amber." What, really? "It's so obvious how much he dotes on you, and how you love him a lot too."
"Yeah, sure." I squirm a little. "He's my dad."
"I never knew my biological father; he died when I was a baby." Ana sighs. "I have an amazing relationship with my stepdad who raised me but it's not quite the same as what I see with you and Christian. You're alike in a way that only people who are related by blood can be, you make me a little jealous actually."
"Sorry." I mutter and look up at her. "And sorry about your dad, for me it's kind of the other way around. My grandpa was kind of my stepdad; I mean he raised me and everything. But I got to know him at least."
"You're looking serious" Dad is back, he puts a tray with drinks and three different muffins on the table.
"We're talking about serious things" I explain as dad sits down. "Secret things" I add to lighten the mood because it sounds so childish and stupid.
Dad smirks and raises his eyebrows.
"I think you both know by now that I don't particularly like secrets but I'll let this one slide." He says and sips on his coffee before offering me the plate with muffins. I go for one that looks like there are orange zest in it. Dad offers the plate to Ana who takes a chocolate one, leaving blueberry for dad. We're silent for a little while but it just feels good.
"What do you ladies want to do this afternoon?" Dad asks eventually and I think about it for a moment. I kind of just don't want to go home. But I know I'll have to and I know I shouldn't put it off.
"Can't we go back to Seattle and go see a movie or something?" I suggest. If I do something fun when I come home it might be a little easier. Dad looks surprised.
"Sure." He says. "Would you like to come with us, Ana? I'll have to warn you, since this was meant to be an Amber day I'll let her choose the movie."
"Why is that something you have to warn me about?" Ana looks amused and dad smirks with a glance in my direction.
"My baby girl has very eclectic taste, she might choose the masterpiece of the decade or she may just as well pick some brain-dead college flick."
I shrug and smile apologetically.
"True." I say.
Ana looks at us both and laughs.
"Thank you for the offer." She says. "But I think I'll let you have the rest of the day to yourselves. I still have my car here, so I'll be taking that back and see you both soon hopefully."
"Of course." Dad's voice is soft but he doesn't seem too disappointed. I'm not either, I would have been glad if Ana had come with us but I'm kind of happy it's just me and dad too. I can ask him about stuff.
Suddenly I glance over to the counter and freeze when I see one of the baristas. It's Phil! Jesus freaking Christ and his aunt, I guess he must work part-time in the coffee shop. I'm thinking about looking away but I realize then that Phil knows who my dad is and what he looks like and if he's seen him he's been smart enough to keep his head down. He confirms my theory when he glances up from pouring hot milk and nods curtly. Oh shit! He must think I ignored him since I didn't contact him when I said my grounding would end. He can't know that I was grounded again and never actually got my laptop or my phone back, apart from when I had my phone in New York. And during those days my mind was kind of occupied with other things. Now it's not, I really want to talk to Phil. I don't know many people that I feel I can really talk to and especially not people my own age or close to it. Not that Phil is that close to me in age but still. I want him to be my friend. And he's the only person I think I'd be able to tell about my mother, since the damage is kind of already done. I wonder if dad will give me my laptop back if I ask him.
"Amber?"
I'm so whirled up in my own thoughts that I don't realize that dad is trying to get my attention. He and Ana are now standing. I snap out of it and look up, probably looking very confused because both dad and Ana laugh.
"We're leaving." Dad announces. "We'll take Ana back to her car and then Taylor will take us home."
Really? Dad is going to let Ana drive her car back home to Seattle? I don't mention it though just rise from the table and walk out with them. Looking over at Phil one last time before walking out the door. He avoids my gaze.
…
Christian
It was hard work getting Anastasia to accept the brand new Saab I got delivered for her during the hours we spent together today and had parked beside her fucking horrible excuse of a car. I had to eventually promise her to ask Taylor to have a look and it to see if he could do something about it, and that she could consider the Saab a loan until then. As if Taylor, or anyone for that matter, will be able to turn that piece of shit into a decent and reasonably safe car. However Anastasia did, luckily, not seem to know very much about cars. She over-thanked me for the Saab though and actually drove away looking quite content with its multiple benefits. It's not just boys who like their toys.
"Dad?" Amber's voice interrupts me from my thoughts and I look over at her where she's sitting at the other side of the backseat.
"Yes, Amber?"
Jesus, my beautiful little girl looks so grown up with that new haircut. Hardly a little girl at all anymore. She looks nervous and I steel myself for whatever's about to come.
"Please don't be mad at me but I've been thinking…" Her voice trails off.
"About anything in particular or just in general?" I say in an idiotic attempt to lighten her new mood but she barely smiles.
"You see some kind of shrink, don't you?"
"I do" I confirm warily, unsure of where she's going with this.
I notice how Amber keeps throwing glances in Taylor's direction and I lean forward and mutter some things to him. Taylor takes up his ear buds from his pocket and puts them on, giving me a thumbs up to confirm when he's no longer able to hear us. I look back at Amber, who is playing with the hem of her dress.
"So, yeah…" She mumbles with a slight blush. "I was kind of wondering… I mean, just… If it would be ok if I like… saw him."
This was absolutely not what I expected and my shock puts me at a loss for words. Amber starts babbling.
"Never mind, I really don't have to, I just thought because I kind of feel like I have a lot of things I want to talk with someone about and I can't and I just…"
"Amber" I interrupt her because she looks to be on the verge of tears. She falls silent and her eyes are on everything in the car but me. "Look at me" I tell her and she does. There is something that looks like plea in her eyes. Pleading for me to drop it? Or for me to let her see Flynn? I take my daughter's hand and squeeze it, looking into her eyes.
"Of course you can see Dr. Flynn. You're very brave and very mature to ask me of it and I've been thinking about setting up an appointment for you myself."
The relief on her face is almost heartbreaking.
"Thanks dad." She says and moves closer to my end of the backseat, giving me one of her rare hugs. I put my arms around her and stroke her hair, and I'm reminded of the picture in my wallet. We remain like that for a few moments before I can't resist the urge to ask:
"You don't feel like you can talk to me?"
Amber stiffens but doesn't pull away.
"Not about everything." She answers honestly.
"I see." I'm silent for a moment, thinking and Amber leans away and looks up at me.
"Are you mad?" She asks.
"No" I assure her. "Of course not. I was just thinking that in addition to having private sessions with Flynn, we can see him together."
"Yeah…" Amber says slowly. "Ok"
"Family therapy." I smile a little and Amber cracks up in a smile too.
"A very small family." She states.
"But a family all the same."
"Yeah." Amber leans her head against my shoulder and I put my arm around her again. My daughter, my family. I have to admit I'm feeling quite proud.
…
Again, sorry for the delay and THANK you to everyone who's been favouriting and reviewing. I have another chapter going and I'll hopefully publish that this week as well. Then my internet should have arrived so things will be smoother! PLEASE review because I love reading your thoughts. Thanks again. xxx