Title: Don't Ever Lie To Me
A/N: I probably should have broken this up but I've had a chapter longer than this so oh well but anyways a lot of stuff happens! Brittana's mom explanation, meeting Santana's aunt (the teacher of the pinkie lock if you remember from chapter 3 or 4), Hurt Locker, dash of faberry, and finished off with a Quinntana pow-wow. (yeah I just said pow-wow) I hope you enjoy because I tried to do this chapter justice. Thanks :) Now go read!
Thanks for the new reviews/alerts/favorites!
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any characters. All belong to RIB and Fox and whoever else that is not me:)
Brittany and Santana left the choir room, pinkies linked, and headed towards the lunch room. Brittany fought with the idea that they'd be meeting Sam while Santana dreaded another meal spent with Artie. They glanced sideways at each other at the same time and smiled together; both silently grateful for the relief just knowing they had one another.
Santana thought about how good it felt to see a smile made only for her. Brittany was notably a bubbly person and it was hard to find a time she wasn't grinning from ear to ear. But this adoring affection—her lips curved upwards as far as they would go and piercing blue eyes overflowing with delight—wasn't just for anybody to see. It was hers.
On the opposing end, smiles were few and far between for Santana. Brittany knew that even her parents were lucky to catch a glimpse of one, but for her it was never the case. A smile from Santana was the ultimate vulnerability. She let her defenses down around Brittany and Brittany alone. On rare occasions she would smile in glee club, but Brittany knew they were forced. Not to say that she wasn't enjoying herself, but Santana had to force herself to let those moments overwhelm her. With Brittany, she didn't have to try. Brittany knew Santana was at ease around her.
Startling them from their trance, Tina caught up with them, "Mr. Schue is starting to get a little creepy with our glee assignments."
Santana suppressed a chuckle, "He's always been creepy. For one, doesn't he have any adult friends? And two, he's tried to get with almost every mildly attractive female that comes knocking on the choir room door." She had a chill go up her spine, "Even Coach Sue."
"They could have bonded over their atrocious hair," Brittany commented and the two other girls laughed.
"But 'sexy?' Really? That's a little weird of an assignment even if he's trying to teach us about sex. And considering he's not a health teacher, it's even weirder." Tina shook her head as if she were trying to shake the idea from her mind.
Coming to a halt at the entrance to the cafeteria, Santana turned to Tina, "Mark my words girl-Chang, he is only doing this assignment to get all up in Ms. Holiday's business. If he hasn't hit that by the end of the week, I'll shave my eyebrows off."
Studying Santana's face, Brittany whispered quietly, "Don't you mean erase?" Santana looked indignantly at her and Tina couldn't help but laugh.
"I'll see you guys later." She chuckled and walked into the lunch room.
"Thanks Britt." Santana looped her arm through Brittany's and led them into the cafeteria. Seeing the table where Tina, Mike, Artie and Sam were already seated, she pulled Brittany towards the lunch line.
"I like Ms. Holiday." Brittany said suddenly. "I liked that song. Cause when she's singing 'do you wanna touch' in my head I was thinking, yeah I definitely do. " Santana flushed red with embarrassment. "That leather was so hot."
"Brittany!" Santana hissed, cheeks burning from the stares the two were receiving. Detaching their arms, she grabbed her tray of food and walked away to the table where all of their friends—and boyfriends—sat.
Brittany watched her go and frowned, not understanding what she said wrong. 'She was hot?' Brittany mused and picked up her tray to follow Santana's trail.
Quinn had Rachel pushed up against a set of lockers in the Cheerio's locker room. Her hands gripped Rachel's waist tightly and she attached her lips to the girl's neck when she made a whimper that sounded like she was trying to talk.
"We can't be in here right now Quinn…" Rachel husked. Her leg clearly wasn't following her orders when it came up to rest against Quinn's hip.
"Mmm…Cheerio's don't have practice until 3. No one's going to come in here." She pulled Rachel closer.
Rachel tried to clear her head. They were at school in the locker room, which mostly likely was crawling with germs; she felt like Ms. Pillsbury. 'At least it's not the boys room,' the thought made Rachel chuckle.
Quinn pulled back with a grin on her face. "What are you thinking about?"
Rachel shrugged her shoulders, "Can we go back to lunch now? People are going to realize we're gone."
"And?" Quinn nuzzled into Rachel's neck and admired her work. Rachel was going to need a reason for all of those bite marks. 'Animal attack?' she thought, wondering if their friends would believe it; probably.
"As much as I wouldn't mind people knowing about us, I feel like you would be the concerned one here."
"Subtle," Quinn pulled back and put a little space between them, "Have something you want to say?"
"Not at all," Rachel started, "Actually, speaking of that, I noticed Finn asked you to come over after school."
Quinn deeply sighed and dropped to sit on the bench. Suddenly she prayed for someone to walk into the room, it would at least give her a reason to leave. "Is that a question?" she tried.
Narrowing her eyes, Rachel tapped her foot impatiently. Quinn looked up and knew there was no easy way out of this situation.
"Yes, I'm going to go over to Finn's, which I assume is what you are asking."
"You're unbelievable." Rachel said quietly. Her tone was riddled with accusation.
"What do you want from me?" Standing now, Quinn challenged Rachel. She had enough with all of the backhanded comments. "I'm doing this for you."
Rachel stepped forward angrily, "Stop using that as your excuse! I don't want you to be dating anybody else. I want you to be dating me."
"I am." Quinn pleaded and tried to grab Rachel's hand.
Rachel pulled out of Quinn's reach and left the room without another word.
Letting her head fall against the cool metal of the locker, Quinn sighed.
Quinn showed up late to their Spanish class and sat down next to Brittany. She looked around the room and saw no trace of Santana. "Where's Santana?" she asked the girl who was scribbling mindlessly in her notebook.
"I'm not sure," Brittany didn't look up from the desktop, "I haven't seen her since 5th period."
"She knows we have glee after school right?" Quinn asked. It wasn't all that uncommon for Santana to ditch school, but not on a day they had practice.
Brittany pushed out a heavy breath and dropped the pen, "I don't know Quinn."
Quinn was taken aback. Brittany still hadn't made eye contact but she could notice the outside of her eyes reddening. "What's going on?"
Clenching her eyes closed, Brittany huffed out, "Can we please not talk about it?"
Before she got a chance to answer, Mr. Schuester called the class together and started going through his lesson. Quinn side-eyed Brittany and watched to make sure she wasn't crying. She pulled a piece of paper from her backpack and wrote out a message to Brittany. When she was done, she slid the paper across the desk and hoped Brittany would respond.
You can tell me B
Brittany stared down at the paper and debated recalling the events that had taken place after lunch. As much as Quinn was pushing, she knew the girl only wanted to help so she started writing down everything that had happened.
5th period was a free bell Brittany and Santana shared. Originally it was reserved for going over Cheerio's routines with Sue, but now that they had quit the team they had an hour to do whatever they wanted. Most days they ended up on the bleachers overlooking the field and watched the cheerleading practices anyways. Brittany liked to watch them dance, and spent a lot of time critiquing them from afar, while Santana spent most of the time picking out their flaws and going so far as to yell insults at them. Coach Sylvester didn't seem to mind the interruptions, because most of the time they were words she was using about the team anyway. Brittany thought sometimes she even saw her smile at the regular abuse.
Today, Santana was uncharacteristically quiet and simply scanned the field. Brittany, sensing the tension, tried to think of a neutral topic they could discuss. Her mind went to their new glee assignment. She loved performing that song with Santana and Ms. Holiday; she figured if they had to pick another song, they should do it together. But last time Brittany suggested they do a song together, Santana shut her down. She hoped she would be a little more open to the suggestion this time.
"Hey Santana?" Brittany started, turning her attention away from the Cheerio's.
"Yeah?" Santana asked, still staring out onto the field.
Brittany tried to think of the best way to approach this conversation. "You know how we have to do a song for glee?"
Santana seemed to tense up but gave Brittany her full attention. She turned her body on the metal bleachers so her back was against the chain-link fence. "What about it B?"
"I was thinking we could do a song together. Like how we sang together today."
Brittany noticed Santana's hands start to tremble in the slightest and she pulled them together; playing with her fingers absently. "That song was a little…"
"Awkward?" Brittany offered. Santana nodded her head nervously. "I was gonna suggest we do something a little toned down. I know Artie and Puck will probably do something graphic and disturbing," Santana laughed anxiously, "and we don't have to be sexual to be sexy."
"Did you have a song?" Brittany was cheerful to see Santana was keeping an open mind.
Brittany knew this was going to be the game changer. For weeks she had been trying to find subtle ways to take Quinn's advice and attempt to talk to Santana. Sam's introduction into their lives had been a large obstacle, but she needed to get it off her chest before they became something serious.
"I was thinking maybe, Landslide?" The tension between them seemed to amplify. Brittany thought this would be a good segue, and it was definitely a lot less direct than Come to My Window but Santana looked like she was freaking out none the less.
Santana's mouth opened and shut a few times, words obviously failing to form. Brittany couldn't do anything but wait; she decided this was it and no matter what Santana said, she was getting some answers.
"Brittany, that's not really a song…t-that two friends sing…" The word 'friends' was clearly emphasized and Brittany shrugged off the implication. "Do You Wanna Touch was playful and fun, but that's a little more serious."
"That's actually something that I wanted to talk to you about…" Brittany started and Santana was getting clearly more and more uncomfortable by the minute.
"What do you mean?" Her voice was breathy and she clenched her hands together a little tighter. Brittany could see how clammy they were from a foot away.
"I want to talk about 'us.' We've been friends forever San, and I think we both understand that our 'friendship' isn't normal."
Santana scrunched up her face in confusion, "I still don't understand."
"Yes you do. I know we don't talk about it and we say it's just sex, but I don't want to do that anymore." Brittany edged closer and ignored the tiny inch Santana moved backwards.
"So we can stop then." Santana said firmly. "It's not like it means anything. It's just what girls do."
Brittany shook her head, "No it isn't. I don't want to stop. I just want to talk about what it means to both of us."
Clearing her throat, Santana said, "It doesn't mea—"
Brittany cut her off, "Yes it does!"
Santana stood up in a huff, "No it doesn't Britt! I told you that from the start, it's just sex, no feelings. That's how it's always been."
Brittany felt the tears gathering near the edges of her eyes, "I just think we should talk about it."
"There's nothing to talk about." Santana picked up her backpack and slipped it over her arms. Brittany felt her staring and looked up. Santana was grimacing at the obvious pain on her expression and the longer she looked, the more it seemed Santana's features softened. "Brittany, I'm sorry okay? We can sing that song if you want."
"You don't have to." Brittany spat remorsefully.
"No, I –" Brittany cut her off again and grabbed her books from where they sat on the bleachers.
"No really Santana, you don't have to." She marched down the stairs and left Santana to watch her go.
Quinn read over the brief summary Brittany had written out for her and shook her head multiple times. 'Damn it Santana…' she thought. Brittany finally had the courage to talk to her about everything and she threw it back in her face.
She wrote back. I'm really sorry. I didn't think she'd freak out like that.
Brittany grabbed the paper and started scribbling down a response. Quinn thought the pencil would break with how hard she was writing.
I told you and I told Kurt. I knew this would happen. But you both had to push.
'She told Kurt?' Quinn wondered.
B, she'll come around. I promise. You're the one person Santana loves and trusts in this world.
Brittany scoffed when she read the answer. Quinn was surprised by how unusual Brittany was acting.
Well she has an awesome way of showing it Q.
Quinn saw that Brittany was trying so hard to hold back tears of frustration. Mr. Schuester walked past their table and Quinn quickly grabbed the paper and slid it under her binder. When she made sure he was gone, she pulled it back out and thoughtfully tapped her pencil against her chin.
I can do the song with you if you want B?
Brittany wrote back, It's fine. I already asked Ms. H to do it with me.
I'm sure you'll be wonderful, Quinn replied.
Brittany nodded her head and crumpled the paper up, signifying she was done with the conversation. With one last sympathetic smile, Quinn left Brittany alone for the rest of her class. She pulled out her phone and ignored the few texts Rachel had sent her apologizing for earlier and typed out a new message to Santana. She honestly didn't care if she got a response but couldn't resist.
(2:46 PM): You're a real asshole you know that?
Santana threw her cell phone across the lawn and sunk back into the bench she was sitting on. A door opened nearby and a cold bottle was thrust into her face.
"You should be a little more careful with that, I don't think your mama wants to pay for a new phone." Santana's aunt Carmen teased, dropping the beer into her niece's hand.
"You should be careful. What are you gonna do when Mama finds out you're giving me alcohol?" Santana chugged the drink and ignored her instinctual cringe at the taste.
Santana's aunt had always been a huge part of her childhood. The two bore a striking resemblance—burning brown eyes and dark, flowing hair—even more than Santana shared with her mother. Maria's relationship with her sister was often on shaky-ground, but when Santana was first introduced to Carmen at the age of 4, she had an instant connection. Carmen, not having any children of her own, spoiled Santana even more than her own parents did. But Santana didn't care about the gifts. She loved her aunt, sometimes she thought even more than she loved her mom, and craved her attention. And Carmen was very willing to give it.
"I have a feeling you won't have a hard time keeping the secret," Carmen winked and sat down on the bench. She made a show of propping up her feet on Santana's lap and chuckled watching Santana slap them away playfully.
"So what's on your mind, cariño?" Carmen asked.
Raising the chilled bottle to her lips once more, Santana poured another large chug down her throat. She wiped her hand across her lips and dried it against the cotton dress clinging tightly to her skin. The liquid seemed resilient to settle in. "I don't really wanna talk about it Tía."
Carmen laughed, "Yes you do, or else you wouldn't be here."
When the girl refused to answer her again, Carmen grabbed the beer from her hand and tilted the neck towards the ground. "Spill or I will," she threatened and Santana sneered at her.
"You're the one wasting a beer, not me." Santana crossed her arms and stared back towards the grass. She was grateful winter was coming to a close and it was getting a little warmer out.
Carmen moved the drink over her niece's head. "How about now?"
Santana pushed her arm away and chuckled, "Fine. I got into an argument with Britt today."
Handing the drink back, Carmen picked up her own and took a hearty gulp. "Some guy?" she asked.
"No!" Santana shouted, "Britt and I don't ever fight about guys….well….not in the way you mean."
Carmen chuckled and Santana didn't like how smug it sounded. She turned on her aunt and demanded, "What?"
"I don't know how else to say this, but, you know you can tell me anything right? Anything." She offered.
Santana settled back down into her seat, "Like what?"
Carmen let out a frustrated sigh and put her drink down on the small wooden table next to her, "Alright Santana," Santana's heart pounded, "you and I are always honest with each other. Straightforward?" Santana nodded. "I know what goes on between you and Brittany."
Her heart dropped in her chest. That persistent urge to bolt flashed through her brain but fear glued her ass to the bench. She scanned every inch of her aunt's face, praying she didn't mean what she was thinking. But there was no use. It was evident in every stare that Carmen knew.
"You don't have to freak out Santana. It doesn't matter to me." She picked up her bottle and motioned it towards Santana, encouraging her to have another drink.
Santana downed what was left in her drink and grabbed another laid out on the side table closest to her. Carmen handed her a bottle opener and she popped the lid, content to drink another large quantity from the new beer.
"Easy. I'll let you drink but you're not getting blackout drunk on my watch." Carmen jibbed, waiting for her to calm down.
Nodding nervously, Santana dropped her drink to her lap and looked over to study her aunt's facial expression. True to her word, it didn't seem like it made a difference. 'So she knows Britts and I make out a little, what's the harm?' she thought.
"How did you…um…how do you know?" Santana wondered aloud.
Carmen looked off and shook her head at what appeared to be a distant memory, "For one, just because a door is closed, doesn't mean all noises are subdued." 'Unless you're Berry and have rooms soundproofed,' Santana thought remembering that particular benefit to a sleepover at the Berry's. "Also, you're not the first person I've seen go through this."
"What do you mean?" Santana prodded. Her words seemed too loaded to lack explanation.
"Have you talked to your mom about this at all?"
Santana was confused. "Mom? Why?"
Backpedaling, Carmen shook her head, "I don't think I should be the one to tell you about this…"
"Tía, please?" Santana begged. She had no idea what her mom had to do with this but if it could relate to her situation in anyway, she wanted to hear it.
Carmen relented, "When I was 19, Maria was what? 16? 17? Anyways, I was home for the weekend visiting, I accidentally stumbled into your mom's room while she was…" She bugged out her eyes and Santana understood it.
Santana chuckled, "With who? Papi?"
While shaking her head, Carmen stood and motioned for Santana to follow her into the house. The inside was nothing like the pristine condition of the Lopez's. It reminded Santana more of Brittany's house; warmer, more welcoming, and unorganized. Carmen led her to the living room and they both took a seat on the faded, brown leather couch. Santana kicked her shoes off and pulled her legs up underneath her.
When they were both settled, Carmen continued. "Do you know a lot about Brittany's mom and your mom? Where they met and all that?"
Santana couldn't help but smile at the mention of Brittany before remembering after today she didn't really have that right and answered, "Just that they were really young and have been best friends since. Kinda like me and Britt."
"Actually a lot like you and Brittany. I used to play soccer with a few kids down the street from your abuelita's and when your mom was 3 or 4 I took her with me. One of the older boys, Jimmy," Santana recognized the name; Brittany had an uncle Jimmy who died a few years before from a heart attack, "was yelling at his sister to stay put while he played. I led Maria to the young girl and told them to play together."
"Anna," Santana provided and Carmen nodded her head accordingly.
"They were inseparable from that point. Like you and Brittany. To get back what I was saying earlier, I didn't find your mom with Victor, I found her with Anna."
Santana's eyes widened in confusion and disbelief, "You found them doing what?"
"Doing what you and Brittany do." Carmen said softly, trying to reassure the girl.
"Yeah right," Santana laughed. There was no way her mom and Brittany's mom were anything like them in that way. Maria only had eyes for Victor and they same could be said for Tony and Anna. But then Santana remembered the conversation she had with Anna a few months back.
"We were inseparable, like you and Brittany. You're mom and I, we were the ultimate pair."
She wouldn't believe it. Santana could only laugh. She laughed until Carmen stared at her worriedly. "That's ridiculous," she finally got out between laughter.
"Maybe ridiculous, but also true."
"They're both married. To men." Santana rested her head against the back of the couch and chuckled some more.
"Trust me; they didn't want to be at some point. They only wanted each other. I offered them my place in New York after they graduated. I was moving in with Derek anyway, I figured they could start over there and live how they wanted to without people finding out."
"So what happened?" Santana asked. She was still in disbelief, but the story kept getting more and more obscene, so much so that she was starting to believe it.
Carmen looked down at her hands uncomfortably, "They were there a couple of months before Papa found out. When I moved back in, he noticed I was sending away money every month for them to live and demanded to know who was receiving it. He threatened me until I told him. He drove to the city and showed up on their doorstep. When he saw how the two of them were living—one bed, not to mention they were practically naked when he showed up—he snapped and drug Maria out of the house and into the car. I had to drive up and get Anna. She was a mess when I got there. We drove back to Lima and I took her home. Her mom and dad didn't look disappointed, as I expected from Papa's response, but just sympathetic and welcomed her back with open arms."
The moment seemed entirely too heavy for Carmen to handle and Santana spoke to give her a little reprieve. "Brittany's mom has always been too nice to me. I guess I understand why now."
"Anna may have a place for you in her heart that was carved out by your mother. But make no mistake, she loves you for who you are to Brittany too." Carmen linked her pinky with Santana's. The move was altogether her own; Santana had stolen it to use with Brittany all those years ago. But now the gesture lacked comfort and only made Santana queasy.
"I'm not as good to Brittany as everyone thinks…" Santana muttered helplessly.
"What happened today?" Carmen inquired. She didn't flinch when Santana dropped her finger.
"She wanted to tell me about her feelings about us," Santana started, "but I bolted."
"Why? Don't you feel the same way?"
Santana thought about it. "It's Brittany, Carmen. I love Brittany. I always have. I just never thought what we were doing was more than that. I always just thought the…love…was just our friendship, you know?"
"And what about now?" Carmen asked.
"I don't know. We've never talked about it before."
"Isn't that what she was trying to do though? Why didn't you hear her out?"
Santana was trying to quell the anger rising in the pit of her stomach but a little seeped through, "We have boyfriends Carmen. What good will come out of it, other than maybe admitting something that we can do nothing about?"
"You don't believe that," Santana stared to object but a hand silenced her, "No! I know you don't believe that because if you did you would have just told her that. Something I know about you is that when things start to get too complicated, you run."
"Thank you for that thrilling insight," Santana barked.
"Santana, please. I'm not telling you to profess your undying love for Brittany, but take some time and think about it. Is it really that hard to imagine maybe she wants exactly what you want?" Carmen saw her words were pushing Santana away but they needed to be said.
"How do you know what I want? Is it hard to imagine that maybe I don't love Brittany? That maybe everything that's happened between us is just friends messing around." Santana stood on uneven ground; saying things she didn't wholly believe but were coming as easy to her as insults. They even left a bad taste on her tongue.
"I'm not telling you what to feel cariño, just to figure out what you are feeling. If not for yourself, then because you owe it to that sweet girl." Carmen stood, indicating this conversation was at least over for now. Santana guessed it wasn't so much that her aunt didn't want to keep talking, but sensed that she needed the break.
Before she got too far, Santana asked, "So how did they end up with Papi and Tony?"
"Maria met Victor at mass when she snuck into the vestry to drink the wine," Carmen smiled when she saw the smirk form on Santana's face, "Tony had always been around. Waiting on the wings for Anna to notice him." With that last thought, Carmen left Santana alone in the room.
Santana felt bad for Tony. It was total unrequited love on his part for more than one reason. Under an impending feeling of guilt, Santana thought about how unfair it would be for Brittany to wait for her if their cases were similar; and part of her realized that it wasn't all too different.
The next school day started slowly. It took every ounce of willpower for Santana to drag herself out of bed and get ready to face the day. After her conversation with Carmen, she knew she needed to let Brittany explain herself and she knew the perfect way to start; by agreeing to sing the song with her. Santana knew Brittany loved performing, whether she was dancing or singing, and if it could help them get back on track, she would do it. For Brittany.
The only thing she had to do was find the girl. Brittany must have been trying to stay out of sight because Santana had been at school for 2 hours and still couldn't find her. Walking down the back hallway near the exit to the field, Santana found her. She was talking in a quiet voice with Rachel and Mercedes, the other two girls seemingly more animated than she was. Forcing her feet to move forward, and taking a much needed breath to steady herself, Santana trotted down the hallway toward the trio.
"Hey…Brittany, can I talk to you for a second." Rachel and Mercedes looked at each other awkwardly. Rachel gave Brittany's arm a firm squeeze before muttering a small goodbye.
Brittany stared at her feet, "What do you want Santana?"
"Can you at least look at me?" Santana pleaded. Brittany begrudgingly obeyed and raised her eyes to match Santana's. The discomfort in her eyes was evident, and she looked like she'd rather be anywhere else at that moment.
"I want to sing that song with you. For glee club." Santana said firmly.
Brittany's eyes hardened, "I told you that you didn't have to…"
"But I want to…" Santana argued calmly. She needed to be patient, she knew she wouldn't get anywhere by yelling.
"Santana," Brittany started but was cut off.
"No-no, look Britt—Brittany," it felt wrong to use a nickname, "You asked me to sing with you, and I know it's important to you, so I want to do it." The next bit took a little more effort on Santana's part but it needed to be said, "Maybe after we can have that talk you wanted."
A little of the edge in Brittany's eyes melted away as she watched Santana talk. She watched her fight the tiny smile that threatened to appear. 'Of course she wants to smile, it's Brittany,' Santana thought happily. It was the first indication that things might go a little back to normal.
She realized that a lot of time had passed since she was finished speaking and asked timidly, "So what do you think?"
"What about Ms. Holiday?" Brittany asked, finally letting the corners of her lips to turn up.
Santana shrugged her shoulders, "She can sing it with us. She'll give us a lot of added sexiness," she purred the word, "Not like we need it."
"Okay," Brittany agreed and wrapped her arms around Santana. It was so warm in Brittany's embrace. It seemed like way too long since the last time she felt this comfort. A lot of the uneasiness seemed to melt away and Santana pulled her closer. "But we have to talk S."
"I promise." Santana squeezed her tighter.
It took everything in Santana to not bolt directly after glee club. 'Fucking Berry,' she thought angrily, 'why did she have to open her stupid mouth?'
Brittany pulled Santana into a close hug."Thank you," she whispered against Brittany's shoulder and felt Brittany's grip tighten.
Rachel spoke from somewhere behind them. "…exploring the uncharted world of Sapphic charm. Brava, Brava."
Her words seemed to shift everyone's stare—well not Sam or Finn's; they looked as oblivious as ever—and everyone looked uncomfortable. Those words seemed to kick-start everyone's brains into understanding what was happening in front of them. Quinn and Ms. Holiday were the only ones looking sympathetic, while everyone else just looked like they had stumbled onto a juicy secret.
Words flowed from her mouth before Santana had a chance to stop them, "Just because I sang a song with Brittany," her words were pointed at Rachel who was no longer so sure of herself, "doesn't mean you get to put a label on me." With one last sad glance at Brittany, she darted from the room. She needed to get away from that room, and out of these stupid clothes, and forget that last moment ever happened.
After pacing the halls until the bell rang and the period ended, Santana knew she needed to find Brittany. It was now or never.
Santana slowly approached Brittany who was standing at her locker. "Hey B…"
Brittany dropped the last book into her locker and smiled sweetly, "Hey, whats up?"
"Can we talk?" Santana asked brusquely.
Looking around the hallway, Brittany wondered, "Here? There's people everywhere."
In all honesty, Santana didn't want to do it anywhere else. For some odd reason she felt like their classmates would provide a buffer in case something went wrong. "I know but I just want to get this out there now. So I don't…you know."
"Lock up and run?" Brittany muttered hesitantly. Santana only nodded her head. "Okay then…"
"Britt…you're the most important thing in the world to me," she paused heavily, "When we were little I never cared about what anyone thought about me as long as you liked me. As long as I had your approval, nothing else mattered. But when we got here," she motioned around the building, "everything changed. We had to make sure everyone here liked us, or in my case feared us."
Brittany cut in, "I don't understand what this has to do with us?"
"Just let me finish okay?" Santana begged and grabbed Brittany's hand and gave it a squeeze. Brittany nodded and she let their hands drop. "Anyway, every minute here is a minute I feel guarded and defensive, afraid of what everyone will say about me. And I think I let that get in the way of showing how I really feel about people. About you." Brittany was hooked; she hung off Santana's every word now. "And even if I'm not honest with myself, I owe it to be honest with you. So I will be. Starting now."
She paused again and Brittany looked compelled to add another "Okay" to fill the silence.
"I love you Brittany," she whispered heavily. "I want you more than I've wanted anyone in my whole life. I think I've known forever. I've known since you kissed me in 5th grade." Her heart pounded in her head and her stomach flipped over several times in her stomach. They were both tearing up now, Brittany smiled through her tears and Santana just felt exhausted.
Xx
Everything she said made Brittany's heart burst open. It was all she wanted, to hear Santana felt the same way about her that she did. She could see how hard it was for the girl, she noticed every shiver that was telltale of Santana's running instinct. Santana loved her. Her smile grew just thinking the words. But then she remembered that she wasn't the only one who loved her.
'Artie,' Brittany thought regretfully. He loved her. And as much as she loved Santana back, it didn't change the fact that she also loved Artie. And they were together. Then she thought about Sam. He had just gotten out of a bad breakup with Quinn and it would be devastating for him to lose another girlfriend so soon. But now Santana was staring at her grimly, like she could sense what she was thinking. The tears started to pour out of dim chocolate eyes more heavily.
In a voice barely above a whisper, Santana hoarsely pleaded, "Please say you love me back?"
It broke Brittany's heart. This is what she asked for; for Santana to finally be honest with her and she was the one who would screw everything up. But she had to do what was right. "I love you, Santana, I really, really do. You have to know that. But that doesn't change that I love Artie too. And you have Sam."
Santana's face twisted in confusion. Betrayal, hurt, anger; Brittany saw them all pass in only a few seconds. "Artie? I-I don't want Sam…" the tears were coming heavier, "I want you, Brittany."
"I love you, please San, I really do." She tried to wrap the girl in her arms but Santana pushed her back.
"It's not enough." Santana wiped the tears off of her face and stalked the opposite way down the hall.
There wasn't much Brittany could do but watch her leave.
Quinn stared angrily at her phone; it had gone off 6 or 7 times in the last few minutes. Rachel noticed it too but was too content cuddled close against Quinn's chest to say anything about it. They both were secretly hoping the movie would pick up so the persistent noise would be covered.
After it vibrated 3 or 4 more times, Rachel finally broke the silence, "Maybe you should look at it."
Quinn looked down at Rachel's head, "It could be Finn." She felt the girl tense in her arms and squeezed her tighter.
"It could be important." Rachel noted and pushed away from Quinn to pick up the phone.
"Like what? His Xbox broke?" She snickered at her own joke.
Rachel flipped through a few screens to make sure they were all from the same person, "It's not Finn."
Quinn sat up and pulled the blanket off of her legs. "Who is it?"
"Santana," Rachel squinted at the screen trying to decipher the messages, "I think she might be sitting on her phone or something. These don't make any sense." She had an a-ha look and read one out loud, "Britts…umm…Wheels….does she mean Artie?" Rachel questioned and Quinn nodded, "cm gets me? I think she wants you to pick her up or something?"
Quinn grabbed the phone and scrolled through a few more messages and realized she had received a few messages like this from Santana, "She's drunk." A couple more texts read similar to the one Rachel read out loud, "I think we should go get her. She seems upset."
"About Brittany and Artie?" Rachel wondered and then it both hit them simultaneously. "Text her and figure out where she is, I'll get our coats."
Quinn stayed still on the couch, "Do you think she told Brittany?"
Freezing from her place by the coat rack in the corner of her bedroom, Rachel answered, "And Brittany wouldn't break up with Artie? Yeah I do. I saw Brittany leaving school today and she didn't look so good."
Walking over to her girlfriend and planting a firm kiss on her lips, Quinn took her jacket, "Let's go."
Xx
They pulled up to the address Santana had texted them and realized they were at the park. If Santana wouldn't had told Quinn where she was, it would have been the first place to check anyways. Brittany and she always seemed to have some weird connection to the park that she never bothered to understand.
Rachel climbed out of the car and wrapped her brown sweater tight around her body. Quinn followed her and the two walked through the park silently. They caught sight of Santana almost instantly rocking back and forth wildly on a rusty swing-set wearing a bright, form-fitting green dress. Her black high-heels were strewn far off in front of her, like she had kicked them off on one high swing. The two padded softly over to her and finally caught her attention.
"Quinnie!" she yelled and sprung forward from the swing into Quinn's arms. The impact was heavy and Quinn struggled to stay upright.
"What's going on S?" Quinn asked through labored breaths. Santana was holding her so tight it was hard to breathe.
Santana pulled back and noticed Rachel. She flung her arms around her abruptly and squeezed. "Rachel! Thank you so so much for coming. I knew I liked you for a reason."
Rachel gave Quinn an amused grin and patted Santana on the back. "No problem Santana, now why don't you tell us what happened?"
Santana stepped backwards and motioned for them to follow her. She stumbled to a nearby picnic table that held two different bottles of liquor. Rachel managed to grab both of her shoes on the way and set them in front of the girl. Picking up the bottle of what Quinn guessed was vodka, Santana offered it to the two girls generously—they both declined—and brought it to her lips. Before she could tilt it upwards, Rachel snatched it out of her hands and held it away. Santana pouted and her eyes watered up.
"Make your girl give me my booze back blondie," Santana pleaded. Quinn's eyes widened and she looked over at Rachel who didn't seem too affected by her words.
"What do you mean 'girl' Santana?" Quinn asked nervously.
Santana chuckled so hard she dipped forward and caught herself before tumbling to the ground, "I guess Barbra didn't tell you?"
Quinn looked to Rachel who was avoiding her eyes, "Tell me what?"
"That I helped her get all up on that," Santana pointed at Quinn, who blushed.
Santana had been staring at Quinn for a little to long for Rachel's liking so she interrupted them,"She just made me aware of your feelings, Quinn." Quinn nodded her head. She thought she remembered Rachel telling her that before. Rachel turned back to Santana, "And I think you've had enough for tonight."
"Let's let my liver be the judge of that," Santana reached behind her and picked up the other bottle. She sat back out of Rachel's reach and drank the darker liquid. Quinn didn't have enough experience to guess what that one was.
Quinn tipped her head towards the car, "C'mon, let's go home."
Santana climbed to her feet unsteadily and ignored her shoes as she set off towards Quinn's car. Rachel shook her head and gathered up the shoes, along with the bottle and followed Santana. All three got in and once Rachel made sure Santana was strapped in, they drove away.
"Put some music on!" Santana bellowed from the backseat and Quinn obliged with a playful smirk on her face. She played with the controls until the music was heavily focused in the back of the car and reached across the console to grab Rachel's hand.
"Do you mind if I take you home?" Quinn asked loud enough for only Rachel to hear.
Rachel shook her head with a sympathetic smile, "No I don't mind."
They drove the few blocks back to Rachel's house and Quinn killed the engine. She reached into the back seat and grabbed the bottle forcibly from Santana's hands; she gave a little bit of a struggle and curse words in protest but eventually gave up. Handing the bottle to Rachel, Quinn closed the space between them and kissed Rachel lightly. When she pulled back, she saw Santana making gagging faces in the back seat and threw a shoe at her. "Would you mind getting rid of those?" Her eyes darted to bottles and Rachel nodded.
"Maybe I'll drink them," Rachel shrugged her shoulders and Quinn laughed.
"You should hold onto them then, we can drink them together," Quinn said playfully and Santana wretched in the back seat.
"Do you want me to leave so you can pop her Berry-cherry or what Q?" Santana mocked and laid down across the seats.
Quinn's face burned red and Rachel couldn't help a tiny laugh, "Just take her home. Call me tomorrow?" Rachel pecked Quinn's warm cheek and got out of the car. She dropped the bottles into a garbage can by the garage before walking up into the house.
Quinn drove to Santana's house and helped her towards the door. It seemed like the alcohol was finally getting the best of her and she was relying heavily on Quinn's shoulder to keep her standing.
"Is the door locked?" Quinn asked.
"Is it ever?" Santana spat and twisted the knob. They two stumbled into the house and Santana wrestled out of Quinn's hands to crawl up the stairs towards her room. Quinn took this time to get a bottle of water from the fridge in the kitchen and noticed the money sitting on the table with a note telling Santana where her parents had gone for the night. When she got back to the foyer, Santana was only halfway up but still going strong. Quinn laughed and walked past her on the stairs and settled down in her friend's room. She pulled the messy covers back and admired the contrast Santana's room brought to the household. Where everything else was organized and spotless, Santana's room was in disarray and you could barely see the floor. Quinn remembered the time Santana screamed at the maid for attempting to clean it up.
She sat down on the edge of the bed and waited until Santana walked through the door, surprisingly on two feet, and collapsed into her bed. "Here drink this." Santana gulped down the drink and sat the empty glass on her side table. "Do you want to talk?"
Santana groaned, "About what? How I'm in love with my best friend and she'd rather roll around with a cripple than be with me?"
"Did she tell you that? Cause I can hardly imagine Brittany calling someone a cripple." Quinn teased and saw in Santana's eyes that her joke wasn't appreciated.
"Real funny Q. Hey maybe you'd like to talk about your bastard child or crippling insecurities about popularity?" Santana twisted around on the bed so her back was to Quinn.
"I think we both might have trouble with that last one, but I see your point." Quinn rubbed Santana's back. "Just tell me what happened."
"I told her I love her. She told me she loves me, but she also loves Artie." Santana started to tremble again and Quinn squeezed her shoulder.
"I'm sorry S…" Quinn supplied and Santana jerked her shoulder away from the girl's hand.
"Why? She's right. She has Artie and I have Sam. If she needed me to tell her that for some sick sense of satisfaction, well I did and now we can both go on with our lives."
Climbing into the bed behind Santana, Quinn muttered, "It's Britt S. She wouldn't try to hurt you on purpose."
Santana turned around so she was facing her, "Well even if she wasn't trying, she still succeeded." Her eyes were almost overflowing with tears and Quinn brushed away the few droplets of water around the edges.
"I know S, I know," was the only thing Quinn could think to say.
Santana coughed and cleared her throat, "So how's life with Streisand 2.0?"
"That's two Barbra Streisand jokes in one night. Are you proud of yourself?" Quinn asked with a tiny smirk.
"Shut up!" Santana smacked Quinn's shoulder, "Seriously how are things?"
"Oh you know, the usual, she doesn't want me to date Finn but she doesn't understand that he was trying to get with her."
"Is that why you're still with him?" Santana questioned.
Quinn sighed, "With Finn, it seems like no matter what he does wrong, she'll always take him back. The sooner I break up with him, the sooner he'll move on and get her back. I don't want to lose her."
"I don't think she'd do that to you." Santana suggested and turned so she was facing the ceiling.
Following Santana's lead, she rolled over onto her back tried to find what was so obviously interesting to her friend. "I just can't be sure of that."
A few moments passed of silent deliberation. Santana was grateful she had Quinn to fall back on and was unexpectedly happy that her friend finally got the girl. But she knew Quinn, and she was sure to mess something up thinking she was doing the right thing.
Quinn could only internally shake her head at Brittany's actions. Every time she had discussed Santana with her, she only assumed when Brittany would take that first step the two would end up together. It hurt Quinn to see that the only thing Santana was truly afraid of came true. The whole situation was entirely unfair for everyone involved.
Finally, in an exhausted voice that sounded like it was halfway asleep already, Santana whispered, "We're so screwed up, Q."
Quinn watched Santana's eyes fall shut, "I know S, I know."
A/N: Thanks for reading :) I'd love reviews!