Warnings: AU and a little OOC.

Disclaimer: One Piece belongs to Oda-san. I make no profit.

Theme # 25 Mermaid

There was no way this was real. The whatever is was half-buried in the sand did not have a tail-fin. Things like this didn't exist. Ever.

He must've drank too much last night. Yeah, that was it. He was still drunk.

Zoro's eyebrow twitched as he poked the thing-he refused to call it a mermaid, dammit-with the toe of his boot, half expecting it to jump at him.

It wasn't a fish, that much was obvious. Whatever it was had human features, like eyes, a nose, and a wide mouth. But there were also inhuman features, like the webbed tail-fins that were poking through the sand.

The man bent down and gripped the thing's shoulders, a little wary as he rolled it over. He didn't think it was possible, but were there male mermaids? This thing definitely wasn't female, if the flat chest was anything to go by, even though it-he?- had thin, wiry arms.

Could mermaids even breathe outside of the water?

Zoro quickly looked around the vicinity, and after making sure they were the only ones on the beach at this time of morning, quickly hefted the mermaid-boy into his arms. He was heavier than he looked; the tail had to weigh fifty pounds at least.

He walked back up the beach to the dock, where he slipped underneath it and put the boy down in the sand. He had no idea what he needed to do to revive the mermaid, but he did know that seeing a doctor was out of the question at this point.

"Oi," Zoro whispered, shaking the boy's shoulder roughly. When he didn't get an answer, the man reached for the water bottle hanging from his shorts and unclipped it. He popped the cap open and poured what was left on the boy's face, drenching it and the sand underneath him.

It felt like forever when the boy finally opened his eyes, and yet out a large yawn instead of screaming at being seen by a human.

"Did you wake me up from my nap?" The mermaid mumbled sleepily, reaching a hand up to rub his eyes.

Zoro snorted as he clipped his water bottle back onto his shorts. Of course the mermaid-boy was only napping. His life wasn't so interesting that he'd find a dead body on the beach.

"How did you get out here? Aren't mermaids supposed to stay in the ocean?" Zoro asked, motioning to the water behind him. The boy sat up slowly and looked over his shoulder, a frown on his lips.

"But I can't swim." The boy said simply, as if that explained everything. Zoro felt a vein pop on his forehead.

"Then why the hell are you a mermaid if you can't swim?" Zoro yelled. He stopped himself from saying anything else and rubbed a hand over his face in resignation, forgetting that it was covered in sand. "Anyway, how did you get here?"

The mermaid gave him a blank stare.

"Do you not remember?" Zoro asked him.

"That's not it. I do remember how I got out here, but-"

"But what?"

"Why do you keep calling me a mermaid?" The boy asked innocently, looking for all the world like he didn't know what Zoro was talking about. The green haired man opened his mouth to yell, but he couldn't think of anything to say. "Can we go home yet, Zoro? I'm bored of this game."

The "mermaid" sat up and unzipped his tail, shaking the sand out of the costume to free his legs. Zoro sat back on his heels and gawked as his lover stood up to stretch.

"Luffy!" He finally yelled, grabbing the boy by his wrist as he tried to walk away. "This game was your idea! Don't quit just as I'm getting into it!"

Luffy looked back at him with a grin, and pointed to the little house on the beach where a few of their friends were watching from.

Shit, they would never let him live this down.

He grumbled under his breath and stood up, dusting off his shorts and taking the hand Luffy offered him. He grabbed the stupid mermaid tail as well, before letting Luffy lead him back to the house.