A/N: miladyRanger is still the best beta, I am still not Hiromu Arakawa.
Chapter 25: Equivalent Exchange
"To obtain something, something of equal value must be lost. This is alchemy's law of Equivalent Exchange."—Alphonse Elric.
"You think you can send me back?" Envy demanded.
"He says he does," Klinger yelled, a bit uncertain. "Now he's muttering stuff about circles and rocks and…"
"So, let's say you can get me back to Amestris," Envy asked. "Which I don't believe for a second, but let's pretend it's the truth. What would you want in return?"
"…Um, he and the other Amestrians go back with you, but Pierce doesn't!" Klinger shouted. "Wait, what do you want with Hawkeye, anyhow? It's not like anything he learned in medical school covered…whatever you are."
"I don't want him as a doctor," Envy said. "So, pipsqueak, spill."
"Don't call me short!" Ed shouted back, his voice faint, scratchy, and barely audible.
"He won't tell you until you let me drive away with Pierce," Klinger reported.
Pierce scowled. "Ed, don't—"
Mustang caught his eyes. "Do you want to live through this?" he asked. "If you do, then let us do our jobs and keep you safe."
"But—"
"Trust us, please," Mustang said.
"Tell me how to get back!" Envy screamed in a thousand voices.
"Not until Pierce is out of sight," Mustang said lowly.
"Fine," Pierce half-spat, infuriated by his own helplessness. "But Mustang, keep the kid safe, you understand? If I have to let a half-grown beansprout—"
"Ed says he heard that," Klinger interjected.
"I'm sorry, kid, face facts, you're a midget!" Pierce snapped. "But if I have to let him stick his neck out for me, I want someone making sure he doesn't get double-crossed."
Mustang favored him with a flat glare. "As if I'd ever do anything else."
Pierce felt the corner of his lips turn upward, as a dry laugh rose in his throat. "You really are an all right guy, you know that?"
"And you and your colleagues are the most agreeable doctors I've ever met," Mustang replied. "Not that there's a lot of competition," he added, under his breath.
"Get moving, ants!" Envy said, voices hissing as one. "Wouldn't want me to get impatient. I might decide to entertain myself with some of the toys sitting around here."
Mustang cursed softly, then grabbed Pierce by the collar.
"We'll take care of the others!" he whispered urgently. "Now go!"
Pierce had never particularly cared for his dignity, so he felt no shame in running for the Jeep like a frightened little girl from…well, from Envy. Running was completely justified, in his estimation.
When he reached the Jeep, he was met by the sight of Klinger, who was still very clearly terrified, nevertheless trying to offer Ed a shoulder to lean on while he walked back to where Envy was.
Pierce sighed, caught Mustang's eye, and jerked his head toward Ed. Even from a few yards away, he saw Mustang's near identical sigh, followed by a quick series of hand gestures that had apparently been enough to indicate to Breda, Falman and Fuery that they ought to be heading to the Jeep.
"I'm fine, really," Ed said weakly, wavering a bit on his feet. "Really, I can walk a couple yards by myself, I swear!"
"It's not just you we're pickin' up," Breda said as he approached. "You told Envy you figured out a way to get us home?"
Ed nodded.
"We oughta bring the luggage then, right?" he asked.
Ed chuckled. "Guess so."
"I have no idea what's going on here at all, but take care of yourself, all right?" Klinger said, patting Ed on the shoulder.
Ed smiled gratefully, but swayed slightly at the impact, causing both Klinger and Pierce to frown.
"I've got him," Falman said, putting one hand on Ed's back as he picked up a suitcase with the other.
Beside him, Fuery had three suitcases gathered in his arms, and Fuery had two in each hand and another tucked under his arm.
"That's everything, I think," Breda said. "And Ed?"
"Yeah?" Ed asked.
"When we get back, I swear I'm teaching you how to pack,"
"Yeah, yeah," Ed said, waving his hand dismissively.
"Once you get someplace safe, you need bedrest," Pierce said. "Weeks of it, at least. And you really ought to get those ribs looked at again, and wrapped by someone who's sure of what they're doing. Doctor's orders."
Ed nodded. "Thanks," he said. "You've done a lot for me since I've gotten here. If this goes right, I probably won't see you again…but I just want you to know that I'm gonna miss you. Not this place, but you and the others."
"I'll miss you too, kid," Pierce said.
"Still not a kid," Ed said lightly, grinning a bit.
"My mistake," Pierce said, shrugging. "I'll miss you, midget."
Ed gritted his teeth and glared.
Pierce laughed. He actually was going to miss this.
"Hey, come up with something to tell the others," Breda said. "Chances are, nobody from Amestris will show up in Korea again, but you never know. It'd be safer if you could convince them it was a mass hallucination."
"Mass hallucinations really aren't all that common—" Pierce started.
"Experimental hallucinogenic weapon used by the Koreans," Falman suggested.
"Nobody's gonna fall for that," Pierce protested.
"When the alternative is believing that Envy is real, they'll probably believe anything you come up with," Breda pointed out.
"Point," Pierce said.
"Let's go, Hawkeye," Klinger broke in, urgently. "I don't know how that thing's real, but if it is, can't it eat us?"
Breda turned pale at the thought. "I really hope not."
"Take care of yourselves, okay?" Pierce said, climbing into the Jeep as Klinger did the same.
"Will do," Breda said.
"Yeah," Ed added. "You too, okay?"
Pierce nodded, and waved as Klinger pressed down on the gas and the Jeep's engine stuttered to life.
He watched them over his shoulder as they drove. They were distant enough that Pierce could only make out the colors of their uniforms when a flash of blue practically blinded Pierce.
When it cleared, they were gone.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
As the Jeep headed into the distance, Envy turned to face Ed. So did the horrible, writhing forms that covered its body. Ed swallowed his desire to be sick as Envy started to speak.
"So, what's your grand plan?" it asked.
He felt Mustang put a hand on his shoulder.
"Don't tell him yet," the colonel whispered. "We need to make sure he takes us with him."
"Don't worry," Ed said aloud. "He needs an alchemist to do it. He doesn't have a choice about bringing us along."
"If you're planning to open the Gate, I suggest having the Flame Colonel do it," Envy said, lips stretching into a grin and revealing teeth as large and flat as tombstones. "I don't know if you can afford to pay another toll."
Ed felt Mustang's hand tighten on his shoulder.
Ed gritted his teeth. "There's another way we can pay the toll, and you'd know it if you thought for a few minutes."
Envy cocked his head to the side.
"The stone inside you," Ed said, narrowing his eyes.
"Ed, that's—" Mustang said.
"It's made of human lives, I know that," Ed said. "I can hear them screaming. Can't you?"
Ed shut his eyes and forced himself to think past the horrible situation and his aching body.
"I don't want to use it," Ed said. "And I'll never use something like it to get back my body or Al's. But if we don't get back home, we'll never be able to tell the others what we've figured out."
"That being?" Mustang asked.
"Two things," Ed said, holding up two fingers. "First, that 'human sacrifices' are people who can perform human transmutation. Second is something I worked out for myself during all this rest. You guys are the reason Xerxes disappeared in one night, aren't you?"
Envy sneered down at him.
"What?" Mustang asked.
"Marcoh and the researchers with him created Philosopher's Stones from the people in Ishbal," Ed said. "But if there are three homunculi, maybe even seven of them, just the people of Ishbal wouldn't have been enough to make all those Philosopher's Stones. No, some of them had to be from somewhere else."
"Xerxes disappeared in a night, and I saw a circle that looked a lot like one for human transmutation carved into one of the walls in the ruins," Ed continued. "It was your 'Father,' wasn't it? He was the one who turned them all into a Philosopher's Stone."
"Those b******s!" Mustang breathed.
Ed stared Envy in the eyes, faintly aware of Breda cursing lowly off to the side.
"What does knowing that that change?" Envy asked.
"Do you think I'd tell you?" Ed replied. It tells me what you might have planned for Amestris, idiot. All I have to figure out is how you think you're gonna do it, he thought.
"Say I give you the Stone," Envy said. "What are you planning to do with it?"
"Transmuting myself," Ed said. "I'm a human. If I deconstruct and reconstruct myself, the Gate will open, and all of you can go through it."
"Ed!" Mustang hissed. "If you fail, the rebound will be—"
"My responsibility," Ed said. "Don't worry. I know what I'm doing.
"I have to get back to Al," he continued, dragging his boot across the ground, tracing the familiar lines of a human transmutation circle. He'd practiced this so many times, he thought he might even be able to sketch it with his eyes closed. Not that he'd risk it, because he knew everything he'd ever wanted to know about alchemic rebounds from the last time he'd messed a transmutation like this one up.
As he drew the last line, he turned to Envy.
"Step into the circle," Ed said. "And don't mess up the lines, or you'll kill us both."
Envy obeyed, and Ed winced as the voices of the writhing forms emerging from Envy's body became audible. They weren't just screaming inarticulately. Those were words.
Please save me! Kill me! Give me your body! they said.
And worst of all, the one, high-pitched voice saying words that were gut-wrenchingly familiar, even though it couldn't possibly belong to the same soul it brought to mind.
Big brother! Play with me!
He couldn't help seeing Nina's innocent face—and then the face of the pitiful creature she'd become. He couldn't get her voice out of his mind.
"Ed!" he heard Mustang shout. "Ed, snap out of it!"
Ed blinked, and he was back in Korea, dust drying out his open mouth as the cries of the souls all over Envy's hide echoing in his ears.
"Ed, maybe I should be the one—" Mustang started.
"N-no," Ed stuttered. "This was my idea. I'll take responsibility for it."
You don't need another thing to feel guilty for, he added mentally, as he raised his hands to clap.
The sound echoed in the empty air, and the circle lit up, the familiar eye opening within its confines. Faintly, Ed heard cries of surprise from the other personnel.
"What the h***?" Breda shouted.
"Man up and jump into the circle!" Ed shouted. "And bring the luggage!"
"You sure it's going to make the trip?" Roy asked.
"They sent it over, we should be able to bring it back," Ed shouted, even as he felt the Gate slowly dissolving him. "Apologize to Al for me if I don't make it back!"
"Apologize yourself, brat!" Mustang shouted back over the crackle of electricity as he entered the circle, his own suitcase in tow. Breda and Falman followed close behind, all but overloaded with luggage.
They and Envy were dissolving, now, floating off in tile-like flakes that strongly resembled the ridged patterns that Ed's transmutations left on stone and cement. Had this happened during the first transmutation? He couldn't remember—but thinking about that day, now, was a horrible idea.
"I hate alchemy and alchemists, just for the record!" Breda shouted as he gingerly stepped between the arcs of electricity now ringing the circle. His voice echoed oddly in Ed's ears.
Ed only caught a glimpse of Hawkeye and Fuery entering the circle before everything turned to searing white.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
"What just happened?" Trapper asked, rubbing his eyes.
"They tried to explain some of it to me once, but I still don't get it," Margaret said. "It seems like it was what they wanted to happen, though."
"I know the alchemy part, they explained it to me too and I actually got it," Trapper said. "Except, you know, the shapeshifting palm tree. I never understood that."
"What shapeshifting palm tree?" Margaret asked.
"That was the same thing that attacked you in the jungle; that was Envy," Trapper explained patiently. "You know what-it doesn't matter. I don't want to think about it anymore, I don't think I can explain it-I just hope they're back home."
"And that it doesn't actually eat humans," Margaret added.
"You kidding?" Trapper asked. "Ed would give it indigestion!"
The corner of Margaret's lip twitched upward. "You might be right about that."
The sound of an approaching engine made her jump.
"Need a lift?" Pierce called.
Trapper obligingly stuck out a thumb.
"Get in," Pierce said. "We've got about five minutes before we catch up with the rest of the formation. In that amount of time, we've gotta figure out how to convince them all of that wasn't real."
"This should be fun," Trapper said, grinning, as he jumped into the Jeep.
Margaret followed him, swinging herself over the edge of the back of the Jeep as Trapper situated himself amid the various supplies still in it. Klinger restarted the vehicle, and Pierce and Trapper started throwing ideas around, yelling over the engine's sputtering.
"Falman was right," Pierce shouted. "I think our best option is passing it off as some hallucinogen the Koreans cooked up!"
"You kidding?" Trapper asked. "Nobody'll believe that!"
"They're less likely to believe the truth!"
"We still need a better lie! Something like—"
The brakes of the Jeep squealed, and Trapper pitched forward, yelling, as Pierce slammed into the windshield and Margaret shrieked.
"What happened?" Margaret shouted, as Trapper rubbed his head and groaned.
"HE PROMISED TO GET ME A SECTION EIGHT!" Klinger roared.
"Klinger, they've already gone home," Pierce said.
"I KNOW! THAT'S WHY I'M ANGRY!"
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Ed opened his eyes.
The emptiness of the Gate stretched out in all directions, only interrupted by two hulking stone doors—the one behind Al's body, and the one that Ed was slowly being dragged toward.
He needed to go through, he knew that. He wanted to go through—the real world, and Al's soul, were on the other side. But he needed to talk to Al first. Snarling, he tried to shake off the grasping, shadowy hands wrapping around him.
"Pierce said something about the seal weakening?" Ed called.
"The Truth was just trying to scare me," Al's body replied, waving a dismissive hand. "You'll be back soon, I know it. It will last until then."
I don't deserve him, Ed thought, overwhelmed. And he really, really deserves a better older brother than me. But—that just means I need to do better.
He found that the Gate's hands had dragged him back while he was distracted. He was nearly to the Gate now.
"That's right!" he shouted, struggling against the hands wrapping around him. "I'll be back soon, and that's a promise! Count on it!"
Al's body grinned, a bit weakly, even as Ed was finally dragged through the doors. They slammed shut—
And Ed found himself sideways on the ground, every inch of his body aching fiercely, especially his ribs.
"Brother!" Al's voice—his soul's voice, distorted by echoing in the chest cavity of the armor—practically shrieked.
A few seconds later, Ed was sitting up, supported by a leather glove, while his frantic younger sibling looked him over and asked so many questions that someone with lungs might have run out of breath.
"What did you do this time? You're hurt—oh my gosh, you're breathing funny, did you break a rib this time? Winry's gonna kill you. Actually, no, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be on a diplomatic mission somewhere—you do realize that you just appeared out of nowhere in a flash of alchemy with Mustang's team and some—is that a chimera?"
"It's Envy," Ed managed, feeling a bit dizzy.
"That's Envy?" Al demanded, his voice squeaking slightly. "Are those—"
"Yeah, they're all the souls in his stone," Ed said. "Central sent us through the Gate. There's…I don't know, another dimension, there? Anyhow, we kind of had to use his stone to get through the Gate and I really don't feel good about doing it, but we found out things over there, and also, I still need to get your body back."
"Our bodies back," Al corrected absently. "I won't get mad at you if you don't get mad at me for sneaking away from Teacher."
Ed gaped. "Do you want her to kill us?"
"There's only so much research you can do without leaving Dublith!" Al protested, holding up his hands. "And you were taking forever to get back...I was getting worried. I may be better at waiting than you are, but I still don't like it!"
"You are not better at waiting," Ed protested, more out of habit than anything. "So...where are we?"
"New Optain!" Al said. "There's a new research library being built here and I made friends with the person who runs it, so…"
"Huh, good work," Ed said, grinning and idly knocking him on the chest plate. "But why are we here too? Unless the portal used you as a homing signal or something."
Al's arm darted up to touch the place where the back of his neck would be, if he actually had one. "Uh, about that...you came out of Gluttony's stomach."
"THE H***?" Ed asked, rather loudly.
"I don't know, don't look at me!" Al said. "He's been hanging around, watching me, for the last few weeks-and since I'm just researching medical alchemy and it's not like he can eat this body, anyway, I haven't been worrying about it. But just before you came his stomach opened up, and there were teeth, and an eye, you know, like the one from…"
"Father said you weren't coming back!" came Gluttony's voice, almost childish in pitch but with a menacing edge under the cloying tone.
Startled, both Elrics looked up, to see Envy slowly shrinking, undulating masses of writhing souls twisting and combining and changing color until the spiky-haired, androgynous figure they had first met as "Envy" was all that remained.
"He must've lied to you, then," Envy said, grinning.
"He wouldn't!"
"Well, I'm here, aren't I?" Envy said. "Now, help me destroy these worms."
"Nuh-uh, we're supposed to watch them!" Gluttony protested.
"I was told to kill them," Envy said.
"Well Father told me to watch them," Gluttony said, pouting a little. "And that was last week. When'd he tell you to destroy them?"
"Before that," Envy said, flatly.
"He must've changed his mind since then," Gluttony declared.
"Father doesn't change his-why am I even arguing with you?" Envy spat.
"Sir, now would be an excellent time to try to capture one of them," Riza suggested, in an undertone, from behind Ed.
"Ed's injured, we're all disoriented, and we don't know how Command will react to our return," Mustang replied, also apparently behind him. "Trying to capture one now is too much of a risk. We'll report back to the nearest military outpost, check Ed into a hospital, and make plans from there."
"But, if it's an opportunity to capture-" Ed started.
"Pierce said you needed bedrest," Mustang said. "You do understand that chasing homunculi is not bed rest, don't you? Or is your brain too small-"
"DON'T CALL-d***" Ed broke off, gasping his midsection-he'd apparently inhaled to scream at people one too many times today.
"Ed!" Al shouted as Ed's vision started greying at the edges.
"We're on the outskirts of town, but there's a couple over the hill who might let us borrow their car," Breda whispered. "Fuery's negotiating with them now."
"Let's go, then, while the homunculi are distracted with one another." Mustang said. "Al, bring your brother. Do you know where the hospital is?"
"O-oh, right," Al said, and with a terrific clanking, Ed was suddenly high up, supported by leather gloves and steel forearms. "I don't think there's a hospital, exactly, but there's definitely a doctor's office. I remember how to get there from here, too."
Ed, at this point, was dizzy, in pain, and more than a little exhausted. But he was also in the proper world, the same world as his brother, and he had one of the most stubborn people he knew besides himself determined to find him an actual bed.
Ah, screw it, he thought. Mustang and Al can take it from here.
He wouldn't be quite certain, later, whether he fell asleep, or passed out, but either way, he did it knowing that others had the situation well in hand.
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A/N: There it is. This was the final story chapter; I'll post the epilogue next week. I hope everyone had fun.
Regarding the timeline...2010-Ninth was really bad at continuity and didn't know it. So I made a lot of silly mistakes and ruined my initial plan for linking this back up with canon by having events referenced out of order with when I meant the fic to have occurred, and with each other. The best I can say is...pretend that, in the best tradition of sci-fi, the timeline reflexively un-knots itself between now and the Promised Day. That'll make the epilogue make a lot more sense.
Again, thanks for sticking with me for so long!
EDIT: 10/25: Removed references to Havoc, because I'd lost track of the murky continuity I'd established herein and thought I'd allowed him into the story. Upon checking earlier chapters on an AO3 commenter's vague hint, I was very pleased to realize that I hadn't and I hadn't accidentally erased his injury-I'd made different timeline mistakes that I found more embarrassing than morally objectionable.