Chapter 26

On the other side

Ty awoke in his hospital bed with a pounding headache; his room was still in darkness, so he knew it was well before dawn. He rubbed his hands across his face and tried to take stock of himself, apart from the jackhammers working behind his eyes he felt relatively ok. He pushed the blankets away, feeling hot and clammy under their confines.

Ty took a breath and pushed himself up slightly in his bed, but instantly regretted the movement, his brain exploded with sharp stabbing pains that splintered through his brain matter making him shut his eyes and hold his breath as he collapsed back onto the pillow. He clenched his teeth and let out a groan as he tried to ride the wave of pain that took over his senses. His vision blurred as Ty opened his teary eyes, the pain and throbbing overwhelming him, making him feel sick to the stomach. He rolled onto his side and cradled his head as he reached for the nurse's button and hit it with his hand.

Ty pressed his hands to his temples as a nurse responded to his call. She came over to him and turned on the observation light above his bed.

"Ty, you bussed, is everything ok?" she asked, "are you in pain?"

"yes, " he breathed, hands still holding his head, "my head, "

The nurse had a quick look at him, taking his pulse and trying to ascertain why he was now curling into the fetal position. Her eyebrows knitted together as she quickly went to the cabinet and came back with a thermometer which she pressed into Ty's ear, It beeped making him flinch and pull away, the sound bellowing through his eardrum like a gunshot.

"ok, Ty, I need you to try to relax ok, I'm going to call the doctor," she said,

Ty didn't respond, he pushed his head back into his pillow and screwed up his face as he tried to fight the thumping in his head. His breathing now fat and erratic as he felt his stomach heave.

Doctor Delray came into Crossbow medical after he received the page from the nurse's station. He walked along the corridor and was greeted by the nurse who passed him a patient file,

"He woke up around 3:20 am, with head pain and a temp of 101 deg"

"any other symptoms, "the doctor said as he flicked through the file,

"he's tachycardic and is complaining of blurred vision and nausea."

The doctor nodded and pushed the door open to Ty's room to find him leaning over the bed vomiting into a sick bag, a nurse at his side rubbing his back.

"Ty." He said waiting for the nurse to help him lay back down and step away. "not feeling too good I hear"

Tys eyes were scrunched closed as his hands reached up again to press against his head, he rocked from side to side, the pain unbearable.

"ok, ok, give him Iv push of normal saline and 0.5 ml of midazolam, bolster that with 1.0 ml morphine" he instructed opening Tys eyes one by one and shining a light into them. "his pupils are dilated, "he put the stethoscope to Tys chest and listened, moving it to different sites. "and yes, he's tachycardic"

The nurse nodded and took Ty's arm to prepare to set him up with an iv line. As the doctor turned Tys head to the side and lifted the small plaster behind his ear.

He sighed and touched the area making Ty groan and pull away.

"Ok Ty," he said clearly, turning Tys head to face him, Tys eyes flickered open as he exhaled roughly, "the nurse is going to give you something for the pain ok, just hold on,"

Ty nodded shakily and arched back into the pillow again. trying to remain in control. He felt a pinch in his inner arm and then a sting as the nurse inserted the iv line. Ty sucked in a ragged breath, his chest expanding as another wave of nausea overtook him.

Ty swallowed hard fighting against the urge to vomit again, his teeth clenched against the pain that rattled through his head.

"Ok, Ty, I need you to try to calm down and take a few deep breaths ok," the doctor said as the nurse pushed the plunger on the syringe and administered the drug into the iv line.

Ty took a deep breath and flicked his head from side to side as he felt the pain start to slowly ebb away.

"that's it Ty, nice and slow, "he heard the doctor say to him as his body relaxed and the thumping in his head subsided. A warm feeling overtook him as the drugs did their work, it felt like the cozy feeling you get when you sit before an open fire. His defenses started to crumble, the walls started to fall as the morphine caressed him and blocked out the war that was going on in his head.

Ty slowly opened his eyes and took a slow shaky breath. As doctor Delray took his vitals again.

"ok, how is the pain now?" he asked, seeing Tys mouth drop open slightly in his relaxed state, the drugs clouding his mind. "Ty, do you understand me?"

Ty nodded slowly, as he licked his lips. His eyes where only just open and he was enjoying the peace and euphoria the injection had brought him.

"that pain your feeling in your head is due to an infection from the shunt Ty, that's also causing the temperature and nausea. This was the risk we ran making the shunt external so now we have to decide whether to go in and replace it or remove it."

Ty nodded slowly, his eyes on the doctor as he spoke.

"your last CT scans were very promising so I'm thinking we might just remove it and then assess the fluid and pressure levels over the next few days. "he touched Ty's shoulder and pulled his eyes to his. "are you ok with that?"

Ty took a slow deep breath and forced his eyes to open more. "yes, take it out" he said softly.

"very well, I'm going to go prep a theatre for us and the nurse will get you ready. "the doctor wrote some notes in Tys file and hung it at the end of the bed. "just stay calm ok Ty, and this will all be over soon, do you want me to call Amy or?"

Ty slowly shook his head from side to side, "no don't call" he replied softly, as he shut his eyes and allowed the nurses to work on him.

"You sure, Ty, we have time, She could see you before you go down to theatre,"The doctor asked again,

"no. no, " Ty whispered, "no one, "

"ok, well, I'll see you in surgery," He said as he looked at the two nurses who were laying Ty's bed flat and getting him ready for what was to come.

It was not long after 6 am when Amy awoke to a feeling of foreboding, she showered and got dressed unable to shake the thought that something wasn't quite right. She still felt terrible about what had happened between her and Ty the day before. And to make it worse, everyone else thought the day had been a roaring success. So her down and sullen mood was for her alone.

Amy slowly walked into the kitchen to find Lou at the stove warming a bottle for a very grumpy Katie.

"hey why are you up so early, "Lou asked as Amy sat down at the table looking despondent.

"couldn't sleep, "Amy said flatly," why does life have to always be so complicated,"

Lou looked at her sister and could see she needed to talk, so she checked Katie's bottle on her wrist and then pushed it into her daughter's mouth.

"wait here Amy ok, I'll be right back, "with that she walked Katie back to her room and spoke briefly to Peter who took over the feed.

Lou returned to her sister and sat opposite her and touched her hands, "ok, spill, what's up?"

"nothing, I just screwed up big time yesterday and now Ty hates me," she said sadly,

"what happened, you guys were like lovesick teens when we left you?" Lou asked.

"I don't know Lou, I just freaked out a little and that hurt him and I tried to explain but he won't even talk to me now," she put her head in her hands "it's all just a big mess"

"Hey, it can't be that bad, Ty loves you, he will get over whatever you did" Lou soothed, "just apologize"

"That's just it Lou, he won't let me, he won't answer my texts or my calls and he didn't speak to me after we had this big fight on the bridge yesterday" Amy bit her lip, "I was so mad at him for not letting me explain and I kinda lost my temper and slammed the truck door in his face" Amy looked away feeling guilty for her actions.

"oh my !. what brought all this on,?"

"I did something really stupid, "Amy rubbed her face, not knowing if she should go into much detail.

"what? Amy, I can't help if I don't know the full story Amy, you can trust me, " Lou pushed,

"ok ok, well we were sitting on a park bench and things were going well, really well and "Amy bit her lip, "we were making out and well Ty pushed it further and I kinda pushed him away"

Lou raised an eyebrow at her, "he's mad because you didn't want to…."

"no, you don't understand" Amy sighed, "it's not like that, Tys not like that"

"you two have already gone down that path haven't you?" Lou asked, "I'm confused, it's not like you could do that out there in the open, in the park"

"no no Lou, we were just you know, having a little fun, and I ruined it because I let the medical stuff scare me and I pulled away. "Amy rubbed her face and looked at her sister " I couldn't touch him like I usually do, I got scared and hesitated and then said no, and now he hates me"

Lou smiled a soft smile at her sister, "Amy, he doesn't hate you, he's hurt by what you did, but if you explain to him why you did it, maybe he will understand, "

"I tried Lou, ! he won't talk to me, he's so angry and hurt, he thinks I rejected him and that I see him as a patient and not a boyfriend." She took a deep breath and blurted it out "he thinks I'm not attracted to him anymore, that I can't see past the injuries."

"well, is there any truth to how he feels ?" Lou asked, "you did hesitate, and pull away, maybe your feelings have changed,"

"LOU!, I love him, He's still my Ty, I don't know, I just saw the tubes and the tape and… " Amy rebutted,

"I understand that Amy, but he's also a young man who has feelings and to have his girlfriend not want to touch him, that must have hurt, " Lou said,

"I didn't mean to refuse him, it just kind of happened. I just freaked out, the catheter and the shunt just made me feel like I shouldn't even be contemplating that kind of thing in his present condition." Amy explained,

"but you still wanted to, right?" Lou asked,

"of course, I did Lou, I love him, when I'm with Ty it's like raw electricity runs through me, I love it when he touches me and kisses me, he makes me feel so special, but I don't know why I froze this time, I just didn't want to hurt him or make anything worse for him" Amy dropped her head, "I'm an idiot, I should never have left him at the hospital without explaining to him why I did what I did"

"so, what are you going to do to fix it?' Lou asked, her eyes on her sister,

"I don't know, "Amy whispered, "maybe Tys right maybe I do just see him as someone to look after and care for"

"come on Amy, you know that's absolutely ridiculous, "Lou replied, "and you know what you should do too, just have the guts to do it."

"ok, ok, your right, I'm going to go in there and make him listen to me, "Amy said clearly, "make him understand that I love him no matter what "

"exactly, so "Lou smiled, handing her a coffee "off you go then, go claim your man!"

Amy smiled at her sister with new found resolve in her heart, "ok, your right, Thanks, Lou, "

She leaned over and hugged her sister tightly, "I don't know what I'd do without you sometimes"

Lou smiled at Amy as she pulled on her overcoat and grabbed her hat, "tell grandpa I'll be back later ok, "

Lou nodded and wished her luck as she walked out the main house and headed towards the GMC.

It was just after 7 am when Amy arrived at the hospital, she walked out of the elevator at ward 9 and started to head to Ty's room. She was hoping to catch him before he had breakfast and hopefully sort out this misunderstanding and tension that currently flowed between them.

Amy pushed the door to Ty's room open and stopped mid-stride, seeing an empty bed before her.

She looked around, not understanding and quickly returned to the nurse's station to seek answers.

"Hello, I was wondering if Ty Borden has been moved to another room?" Amy asked.

"Um no, he's in recovery, probably won't be back in his room for another hour or so" the nurse smiled.

"recovery?" Amy said softly, "I don't understand?"

"Oh I'm sorry, Mr. Borden went to surgery in the early hours of the morning, he had an emergency shunt removal"

"what?" Amy stammered, completely shocked by what she was hearing "why? what was wrong with the shunt? Is he ok?"

"you need to wait for the doctor, he will explain it better, do you want me to call him for you," she asked,

"yes, please, "Amy replied. Confusion all over her face.

Doctor Delray turned up not long after the page went out for him to return to ward 9, the nurse spoke to him briefly before he came over to Amy in the waiting room area and shook her hand.

"what happened to Ty Doctor Delray, the nurse said he was in surgery," Amy said nervously.

"that's correct, Ty awoke during the night with a temperature and head pain, this was due to an infection at the shunt sight so we decided to remove the shunt and run him on a course of strong antibiotics," the doctor explained,

"but he needs the shunt, doesn't he?" Amy asked, concern on her face.

" well the last CT scans showed minimal buildup of fluid on his brain, so we will monitor Tys ability to regulate himself for a few days and then go from there," The doctor smiled and touched Amy's shoulder, " he's doing well Amy, he's still in recovery while we set up his antibiotics push, and once he's stable then you can see him"

"why didn't anyone call me or my grandpa?" she asked her words a whisper.

"I'm sorry Amy, I did ask Ty before he went out to the sedation if he wanted me to call or contact anyone and he said no, "

"he said no, "Amy breathed, "even to me?"

"yes, I'm sorry, I have to do what my patient askes, and he asked that we call no one" Doctor Delray could see how shaken she was by this revelation. "look he will be back in his room in an hour or so, so maybe talk to him then, he was very distressed when he made this decision, so don't take it to heart"

Amy nodded but couldn't help feeling like Ty had drawn a line in the sand and she wasn't on his side. She sat back down and rubbed her eyes, not knowing what to do. Should she wait and talk to him, even if he didn't want her too, or should she abide by his rule and stay away. He obviously didn't want her there otherwise he would have asked for her to be contacted.

Was this his way of telling her that it was over between them. Had she really hurt him that bad by pulling away when he needed her the most?

Her mind was cascading into the darkest recesses of self-doubt as she watched the hospital staff go about their day.

Amy pulled out her phone and pressed the screen, her hands shaking, "Soraya, it's me, um, can you come to the hospital, I need my best friend,"

The fog was thick around Ty as he stumbled through the empty hallway. He turned to look back the way he had come. But there was nothing there, he looked around disorientated. Trying to find his way. Hesitantly he took a few steps, as he ran his hand along the cold wall that ran seamlessly beside him.

"Amy?" he called, his voice echoing around in the swirling mist. Ty turned a corner and his hand hit something cold on the wall to his left. He waved the fog away and saw his own reflection looking back at him in a full-length mirror. Ty stepped back, looking at the image, he was wearing a white shirt and pants, the shirt flowing in the slight breeze that swirled around him. He looked down to see to his astonishment that he was barefoot. His feet cold against the linoleum flooring. Confusion flickered in his green eyes as he ran his hand through his hair. Ty took a quick step forward, trying to get a closer look at himself as his hand ran behind his left ear. There was no plaster, no patch, no catheter. No scar. He looked at himself closely in the mirror, pulling the collar of the silk shirt open slightly to see no tube across his chest. His breath hitched in his throat as his hands lifted the loose shirt up to expose his abdomen, again, nothing, just his tanned skin, Ty ran his hand across where the bullet wound should have been, spreading his fingers against his gut. Disbelief on his face. It was like it never happened. There was no patch where the tube entered his abdominal wall, no stitches where the bullet had grazed him. It was clean and smooth.

"what," he whispered, dropping the shirt and looking back down the hallway. He didn't recognize this place, there was nothing that looked familiar. The fog swelled around him and again and he tried to see look ahead, uncertain now which way he had come.

Ty's ears pricked to soft voices in the distance. He waved his arms around, swirling the fog, trying to clear his way, He could hear them talking, but their words were muffled. Hope, then panic, then fear filled him. He felt alone, but surrounded, vulnerable, yet at peace. He turned back around looking the other way again.

"A, Amy?" he said in a whisper, not sure if he should scream out of stay quiet.

The voices murmured again, making Ty spin on his heels in their direction. He stepped forward. Keeping hold of the wall with his left hand, needing to stay connected to something. The fog and mist were so thick around him as he continued on, he turned back and saw his path dissolve behind him. The mirror now was gone.

"what, where am I, "he said to himself, his pace increasing as the voices raised again.

This time he knew it was two people. He had heard them before. He pushed on, heading towards them. Stopping suddenly as his hands hit a solid wall in front of him.

"dammit' he cursed, it was a dead end. He placed both his hands on the cold wall and shut his eyes trying to think of what to do. As Ty took a few deep breaths, in an attempt to calm himself. Something hit his leg as it flittered down the wall way. He reached down and grabbed the piece of paper and read it.

{Probation Notice of Placement}

TY ran his hand over the parchment, recognizing it as the letter he had with him the day he was assigned to Heartland. It was addressed to Marion Fleming.

He looked up and the wall in front of him was gone. He was now standing in front of a heavy white curtain that hung from ceiling to floor. Ty folded the letter and pushed it into his pocket. He heard the voices again, this time, close and within earshot. Ty took a deep breath and walked through the curtains. Not knowing what was on the other side, but needing to find out.

"Hey, watch it! What are you doing? "

"I want to know what kind of idiot revs his truck around a horse. "

"Nice to meet you too. My name's Ty. "

Ty Stumbled. The image out of focus but the voices familiar.

"Amy," he said again, moving forward, the exchange just out of reach to him. He was a bystander, not seen or heard, a simple observer on a scene that he knew to be true.

Amy glared down at the younger version of himself. Her horse dancing around impatiently in front of him.

She was furious with him for revving his GMC when he passed them on the trail.

Ty watched his younger self pull a cigarette from his jacket and go to light it, He smiled, he recognized that jacket.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm working. "

"You can't smoke here. Whatever. Some lady hired me, all right? Marion somebody."

Ty touched his pocket as he watched his younger self-read from a letter. The same letter that had just wrapped itself around his leg.

"My mother. "

"She as friendly as you are?"

"She was killed in a car accident a few weeks ago."

Ty watched the fog swirl around the two teens and engulf them,

"no… wait" he called, reaching forward, but his hand hit the cold wall again, the curtain was on the floor, around his feet. He looked around again and he was back in the corridor, the silence engulfing him.

"no. please" He whispered, "come back"

Soraya wrapped her arms around Amy and pulled her into the biggest best friend hug she could muster.

"Hey, "she said, feeling Amy return the affection tenfold, "what's up"

Amy broke from the hug and they sat down in the waiting room. "Is Ty ok?"

"yes, no," Amy said sadly "I don't know"

"come on Amy, tell me from the beginning, what's wrong?" Soraya encouraged.

Amy took a deep breath and laid it all out for her best friend. She told her about what had happened the day before at the Island Park, and how Ty had shut all communication off from her since then. Soraya played the epitome of the best friend, she didn't interject or judge, she just listened to her friend pour out her heart. Holding her hand all the way.

when Amy was finally done, she wiped a tear from her eye and looked up at Soraya, feeling a little better for being able to get all the hurt and guilt off of her chest.

"wow, "Soraya finally said, releasing a small smile, "you really did need your best friend didn't you"

Amy smiled weakly and hugged her again, "that's why I called you, "

"I don't know what to do, should I just go, and leave him be, he obviously doesn't want me here," she asked, hoping Soraya would be able to give her some perspective.

"Amy, you can't honestly think that Ty doesn't love you anymore." She replied, taking her hand in hers, "I don't think he's that shallow, and neither do you, "

"then why won't he talk to me,"

"he's a boy Amy, you hurt his feelings when you refused his advances, "Soraya smiled, "give him some time to get his ego over it and he will be fine, "

"you think this is all his ego, "Amy asked.

"no, not all of it, "Soraya explained, "but partly, Ty adores you, Amy, anyone can see that we all have seen it for years, "she chuckled, "I think we all knew before you two did, "

Amy looked away bashfully,

"just give him some time to get over it, and then when he's ready, talk to him and explain it just like you did just then to me, he will understand"

"so, you think I should wait for him to come out of recovery, "Amy asked.

"yes, you should, be the first person those green eyes see when they open up, "Soraya smiled,

"I don't know Soraya, what if he takes one look at me and tells me to go" Amy's self-doubts were taking old yet again. Her insecurities getting the better of her.

"Amy, come on, you should have seen him at the diner that day when he was waiting for you, he didn't even remember how he met you or how you got together, but he knew that you where his girl, he was like a school kid on a first date. That wasn't someone who ends a relationship because you hurt his feelings a bit" She laughed, "give him some credit will you, trust in those feelings you share, god I wish I had a boyfriend who adored me as much as he adores you"

Amy smiled, and looked at her hands, remembering their date at the diner, Soraya was right, Ty had put so much effort into making that a special night for her, even though he still didn't remember their relationship at that time.

"When's he due out of recovery" Soraya asked.

"in the next hour or so they reckon, he has to be stabilized first, "Amy replied.

"Well, how about we go down to the cafeteria and get some coffee and muffins while we wait" her friend replied, pulling her to her feet "the nurse will call us if he comes back early"

Amy hesitated then looked at her friend's beautiful face as it smiled at her with encouragement,

"ok, a coffee does sound good" Amy agreed,

The two girls hugged again and after a quick word to the nurse headed for the elevator.

The fog thinned out again as Ty's hand hit another curtain, this one was slightly parted, He hesitantly pushed through it and found himself standing in the loft. It looked different though, not lived in or familiar.

The wrought iron bed had a patchwork quilt thrown across it, and there were no motorcycle pictures on the wall.

He heard voices behind him as he turned to see the young Ty storm past him with a gleeful look on his face. He had a duffle on his shoulder and attitude to boot.

"Well, it's no palace, that's for sure. "he said with a chuckle, "Well, there are no bars on the windows, so I guess it'll do."

Ty watched as the younger version of himself threw the duffle on the bed and tested the bed's integrity before rubbing his hands together against the cold and returning to the older cowboy who had followed him up the stairs.

"Jack!" Ty said in almost a whisper, stepping closer to him. Wanting to grab that hand and shake it. He looked younger, less worn. His mustache still well trimmed and tidy.

Ty smiled, he missed him. Jack was the first man who ever gave him a chance. They had had their rocky moments, but he had stood by him and shown him what it meant to be a man.

"Hey. What's the deal with the babes?"

The younger Ty said cheekily,

Ty shook his head at himself in disbelief, a small smile creeping across his stubbled jaw.

"You mean my granddaughters?"

"Your granddaughters? Oh, wow, you don't look old enough to have granddaughters."

"Here's the "deal" with them: you keep ten feet away at all times. Any part of you that crosses that line will be removed."

Ty grinned to himself as he watched his younger counterpart drop his smile.

That was the first time that Jack had issued that warning to Ty, and over the years those words would come back to haunt him on many occasions.

Ty rubbed his face and exhaled. Shutting his eyes briefly to regroup.

A cold night breeze blew across his face and he felt the nip of winter against his bare hands. Ty opened his eyes and he was standing on the side of a deserted country road in the middle of winter. Up ahead of him was a lone figure walking quickly down the road, its arms wrapped tightly around itself trying to stay warm.

"Amy "Ty breathed, running over to her, his feet freezing on the snow-covered ground. He made pace with her as she huddled up against the cold, the steam from her breath making patterns in the night air.

"Amy," he said again, but the young girl didn't acknowledge him, her face was sullen and mad, and a little scared.

Ty turned at the sound of a truck behind them, the headlights made him shield his eyes as it slowly approached and made pace with the young girls as she walked.

Ty stopped and watched the scenario unfold. His heart in his throat. He felt so alone.

"Nice night for a walk. ln fact, I sort of envy you, you know. All alone in the middle of nowhere, nothing but the open road ahead of you. Might even make it home by dawn if you don't freeze to death first. "

The young Amy just looked at the boy in the truck, her anger and annoyance still showing on her cold features.

"Okay. I'm sorry. I thought that guy was hurting you, and I just. . . I kind of lost it. "

"You got a heater in there? "

"Last time I checked. Doesn't work, though."

Ty braced himself against the cold rush that came from the tuck as it trundled away, He shut his eyes and the snow swirled around him obscuring his view.

When he opened them again, he was back in the hallway, He looked around and continued to walk forward. This time though the fog seemed darker and thicker, it had taken on a grey tinge and the hallway started to get smaller and more constricting with each step.

Ty stopped and reached his hands out to the sides, his palms now able to land on both sides of the hallway simultaneously.

"Hello," he called, his heartbeat raising slightly as the claustrophobia started to take hold.

"Hello!"

"thank you for this" Amy smiled as she pulled apart a blueberry muffin,

"no problems, that's what best friends are for" Soraya smiled.

They drank their coffees and ate their muffins talking and chatting as friends do. Amy feeling a lot more positive now about what she needed to do.

"Amy. "Soraya asked, putting the last piece of her muffin down,

"Yes, "Amy smiled, seeing her friend wanted to say something,

"you and Ty, "she said, hedging her words,

"yes, me and Ty" Amy repeated, "what?"

"you've," she paused, and bit her lip, this time her insecurities showing

"we've?" Amy pushed,

"You know, done it, "Soraya said quietly, looking down, away from her friend's eyes,

"Soraya!" Amy blushed, "why? what's with the questions"

"so that's a yes then" she pushed,

Amy felt her cheeks go red, and she leaned a little closer to her friend,

"why are you asking?"

"no reason, I just thought you would have told me, that's all, "Soraya deflected

"Its personal, I guess, I didn't want to be one of those girls you know, "Amy explained, she touched her friend's hand, and smiled,

"I understand, "Soraya smiled, "just how did you now? That it was the right time I mean?"

Amy smiled and took a breath, "I just knew it was what I wanted, it wasn't really planned, but when it came down to it, it just felt right you know, like it was meant to be"

"so, you didn't have to think it over, or weigh it up?" Soraya asked,

"no. why? Is there something you want to tell me?" Amy asked, noticing friend s demeanor,

"so, this was before Tys accident and his memory problems"

"yes, "Amy smiled, "it was not long after Ty moved into the trailer, but, in saying that, with the memory problem, it was like having to relive that moment again, well for Ty anyway"

"Oh my, he didn't remember it," Soraya gasped,

"nope, not one bit, so "Amy felt her cheeks go red again, "we sort of had to redo the experience if you get my meaning "

Soraya laughed under her breath, seeing Amy grin cheekily.

"so, come on spill what's with the questions?" Amy pushed, "you thinking of taking the plunge? "

"well, there's this guy at university, who I really like, we get along really well, "

"oh, tell me more?" Amy encouraged,

"well, he's asked me to go to his place this weekend, but I just don't know, "Soraya took a deep breath and looked into her best friend's eyes "I think I'm over thinking it, but I've got the same feeling I had when Chase asked me to spend the weekend with him "

Amy softened her face and touched her friend's hand, "Soraya, if you have to talk yourself into this, then don't do it, when you're ready, you'll know, "

Soraya smiled softly back at her friend since kindergarten. "you think?'

Amy nodded and stole the last part of her friend's muffin and quickly pushed it into her mouth,

" I don't think. I know"

Ty inhaled deeply as he pushed along the corridor, the walls now close to his sides. His heart was starting to race as the air around him turned heavy and dark, grey swirls and fingers of smog curled up his legs and around his midsection. His hands hit the wall in front of him as he couldn't go any further,

"Hey!" he yelled, pounding with his fists as the smog crept up his chest and around his face. He coughed, trying desperately to keep from inhaling the sour smell, but the air around him was gone.

"HEY! HELLO!" he yelled, covering his face as it over whelmed him. Gasping for air, Ty shut his eyes as he fell to his knees, his back sliding down the cold wall.

"No, no… please no "

Ty suddenly found himself under a hot spotlight in total darkness, he turned around on the spot, but there was nothing.

"what. The" he breathed, his hands shaking slightly from the disorientation. He looked around, his shirt was unbuttoned and his chest was heaving under his breath.

He spun around again on his bare feet. Not knowing what way to go. The light above him blinding him. He shielded his eyes, as something grabbed his leg. He looked down but there was nothing there, again he felt it, but this time around his waist, he spun around, again nothing.

Ty's head started to spin as something tugged at his shin, he shut his eyes and pressed his hands to his head.

"STOP IT!" he yelled.

"Can I talk to you? Why did you take the job at Briar Ridge? "

"You know why."

"Because Ben got under your skin?"

"Yeah. Like some pony boy could get to me."

"The money? Ashley? I mean, I heard you talking to grandpa."

"I told him I was thinking about the job at Briar Ridge. "

"That's crazy. You'd already made up your mind. "

"Not until you walked in and told me to get the hell out. You know you drive me crazy. You always have to have it your way. I'm done. I'm outta here."

"Run away! That's all you always do! Even when people. . . When I want you to stay? You couldn't care less."

"NO!" Ty yelled I didn't, I never meant to….NO!" He spun around again and something hit him from behind, this time grabbing at his shirt.

"Where the heck is everybody? Nothing's been done. No feed. No water."

"Yeah, well, that's my job. it's kinda hard to do when you're not here."

"Would it kill somebody to pass a broom... ...around here once in a while? "

"it's my job, Jack, okay? "

"Maybe I made a mistake thinking you might appreciate getting out, doing something a little different. "

"Look, I appreciate it. I'm sorry I wrecked your day, Jack. "

"You might want to think about working on that temper of yours too. "

"My temper? I'm not the one hitting that horse, Jack."

"Not your horse. Not your problem. "

"Yes, it is my problem. When someone's beating on someone innocent, that makes it my problem, and I'm not gonna put up with it. "

"I have a feeling we're not talking about horses here."

"Yeah, well, people like that get what's coming to them. "

"And you're just the guy to give it to them, are you? Some kind of one-man posse. "

"Or a loose cannon with impulse control issues. Depends on which one of my social workers you want to talk to. "

"Well, do your social workers cover your back too? 'Cause let me tell you something, that was strictly a one time deal."

"Jack... ...I appreciate it. it's not very often people stick up for me. Okay?"

"Ok Ok!" Ty breathed, turning around, "Gah, I get it, " He pressed his hand to his head as he tried to stop the room from spinning. The images were coming thick and fast now. Fragments from everywhere tearing at him with each recollection. He felt like the air was being squeezed from his chest as he gulped and struggled to breathe.

"Wow. it's nice, eh? We could get pretty far on this. "

"Like I said, not this time."

"it's funny, ever since I got here, I told everyone that you were my boyfriend. And nobody blinked. 'Cause they could see it. You and me, we're the same. Get in the car, Ty. You're never gonna hook up with that farm chick. Things like that just don't happen to people like us."

"no… that's not me anymore" he cried, Resting his hands on his knees and sucking air into his lungs. "stop please, just stop"

"Someone's been doing a little dumpster diving. Okay, maybe I was wrong about that horse. That still doesn't mean what you did was right. "

"You mean letting him go?' "

'Sort of... I just wanna know why you didn't even try to call me or anything!

Amy, I don't know. I wanted to. I didn't know what to say... Amy, I just..."

"Here. You're gonna need this if you're staying".

Tears filled his eyes as he felt another grab at his side. He fell to his knees, overwhelmed by the flashes that flew around and attacked him.

"I didn't mean to cause all this trouble'.

"Yeah, you never do. "

"I've been driving cattle trucks for a few months. Never had to load horses before. It's too bad, 'cause it was a pretty good job up 'til now. "

"Yeah, a job where you're always leaving - you must be pretty good at it. "

"I know you're angry, Ty. Things just got really bad in Calgary. I had to get outta there."

"Yeah. No kidding. Those guys you owed money to? They found me. "

"What do you mean they found you?"

" I mean, they were looking for a face to smash in and they didn't much care if it was yours or mine."

"Ty, I'm sorry. I didn't know. I mean... I swear. I never would've left if I thought you were in danger. "

"You're so full of crap! You know that?! You left and I got beat up. How is that any different than when I was a kid? "

"Ok, that's not fair! That was a long time ago. And I thought you and your mom would be better off without me. "

"Well, you were wrong. You know, I hope it keeps you up at night thinking about her and that guy she married - what he did to her... And to me. "

"no more, "Ty breathed, not wanting to go back to those dark places. He shook his head slowly, trying to push himself back up onto his feet. The weight of the memories starting to take its toll.

"I don't pity you, Ty. I care about you. "

"I know. "

"Then why do you keep pushing me away? "

"Because... "

"What're you afraid of? "

"That I'm like my dad."

"Ty, you're nothing like him."

"You sure about that? Leaving in the middle of the night's a Borden family tradition."

"No. I didn't mean to hurt her" He breathed, "I was just,,,"

"I don't wanna hurt you, Amy. "

"I guess I'm willing to risk that. "

"I'm not. I... I just need... Amy, look..."

Amy and Soraya walked back towards the nurse's station and saw Doctor Delray talking to a surgical nurse near the elevators. The nurse recognized Amy and motioned to the doctor who instantly turned and came towards them, a worried look on his face.

"Amy, "he said, "can we have a word in my office please, "

Amy looked at Soraya and then back at the doctor,

"Um I'll see you later Amy," Soraya said softly turning to leave,

"Soraya, no, please stay with me, "Amy pleaded, the doctor's expression starting to concern her.

"come this way ladies, "Doctor Delray said motioning with his arms to the office rooms at the far end of the corridor.

The doctor followed them in and showed them two chairs that sat across from a large brown mahogany desk.

"Please sit, "he said, as he also took his place.

"what's this about Doctor Delray?" Amy asked quietly, her hand holding tightly onto Soraya's.

"we are having a little trouble reviving Ty from the anesthetic, "The doctor said gently, "he's still in recovery at the moment and I'm keeping him there until we can get some response from him. "

"he's still in recovery?" Amy whispered, "you said this shunt removal thing would be easy, and that he would be ok" Amy's voice had turned a little shrill by the end of her sentence.

"The infection has unfortunately migrated into the lining of the brain, and although he is responding to antibiotics he is still unconscious. "

Amy felt her heart jump and she looked at Soraya who squeezed her hand.

"what does this mean," she asked, her voice trembling,

"well, for now, Tys in a coma, and until we can stabilize his breathing response we are possibly going to need to intubate him"

Amy's world suddenly stopped. The words coma and intubate rattled through her mind.

"he can't breathe!"

"no, he can, but the infections disrupting some of the neurological signals from getting through to the right areas. His breathing at the moment is showing a low oxygen saturation, and this will just hinder his recovery. So, to be on the safe side, and give him the best chance possible, we are going to breathe for him. "the doctor took a breath and smiled at her, "I know this all sounds scary, but he's in good hands and I will do everything in my power to get him through this "

Amy nodded and watched the doctor get up and come to her side,

"Do you want me to call anyone for you?" He asked, "maybe your grandfather?"

"I'll do it, "Soraya said, looking at Amy as she stared blankly forward at the wall.

"ok, well I'll leave you two here for now, please stay as long as you need, "he turned to leave and then stopped looking back at Soraya, "I need to contact Mr. Dalton, do you have a number for him"

"Um no, but I'll let Jack know, "she said.

He nodded again and left the best friends alone in their silence.

Ty was on his knees, he had no strength to stand. The large dark room spun around him as the light above beat ferociously down upon his shoulders.

His white clothes where ruffled and disheveled, his shirt open exposing his chest as he took deep breaths, trying to fill his burning lungs. He could see the fog swirling around the edge of the room. Waiting to engulf him when he finally gave in. He looked down at his legs and saw gray hand marks all over them, reminders of what had been pawing at him and pulling in down.

He ran his hands through his damp hair and forced one leg up. Taking a deep breath and pulling himself shakily to his feet.

"I'm still here!" he yelled in defiance, his face stained with the tears that had now dried.

The room slowly started to spin again, as if taunting him. Knowing he was trying to fight back.

"No NO No" Ty whispered feeling the dizziness return. He held his head and shut his eyes as something grabbed his arms and pulled him down.

Turn around, get back in your car and leave.

Ty... I can handle this. I can handle this.

Yeah, come on, Ty. I'm not looking for any trouble.

I don't give a damn what you're looking for. Turn around and go.

Man, what happened to us, huh? You know, it's all ancient history. I'm just here to talk to your mom.

Yeah? Well, maybe she doesn't want to talk to you. So leave. Now!

We're all adults here, right?

You're all grown up now. Look at you. What do you say we make a fresh start?

You've got ten seconds.

All right. Okay. Baby steps then, right?

Ty fell to the floor, the pressure of the memories pulling him down once again, he leaned back and tried to fight back, taking deeper and deeper breaths. He was almost done. The demons taking hold and allowing the fog to come closer.

"Lou told me you were at the track. "

"Well, I was, I mean, that's where I... "

"You've got a great life for yourself here, Ty. Don't throw it all away. "

"What're you talking about? "

"Don't you get it? This is exactly what happened. He would spend every waking hour at the track. Gambling all the money we ever made - it wasn't much! "

"Who?"

"Wade. And every time... "

"You cannot compare me to him! The only reason I'm at the track is to earn money. – "

"I don't care! I don't want you anywhere near the place! "

"No! You don't get to do that! You don't get to tell me what you want, or don't want me to do. You gave up that right years ago!"

"Stop IT!" Ty hissed, his anger rising, he clenched his teeth and forced himself back up onto his knees.

"If it wasn't for you, my wife there, she'd be at home with me where she belongs.

Now maybe you haven't figured it out yet, but she's gonna choose me every time! So why don't you just give it up, buddy? "

"Just do yourself a favor, Wade, and leave. Right now. "

"Why is that? You gonna hit me, Ty? You gonna hit me like you did last time? What're you gonna do, Ty?"

"No. It's not like that, I didn't want to…" Ty pushed himself to his feet, the pressure on his shoulders now insurmountable

"I got news for you, man. This time I'm sober, and my backs not turned to you.

What the hell, let's make it even Steven.

Come on, give me your best shot. "

"No, he's changed, he helped me, he."

"Come on, tough guy. Come on, you got it in you, don't you? Come on, let's go. You got it in you. Let's go. Come on, come on"

Ty felt something hit him violently from behind, he fell forward, the fog swelling around his feet.

"NO!" he growled,

"Yeah. Now, okay. Ready? Let's go."

"Come on, man, do it! Show these people your true colors, man. Hit me! Do it."

"Doctor he's crashing "the nurse called as Doctor Delray ran into the ICU, he flicked a torch across Tys eyes and pressed his fingers to his neck,

"right get me a 3.5 endotracheal tube, I'm going to intubate, "he ordered, pulling on some hospital gloves.

The doctor inserted the tube with the help of a laryngoscope into Ty's mouth, it held Ty's tongue aside while he inserted the tube into his trachea. After a few seconds of positioning, he stepped back and hooked the tube up to a ventilator and turned it on. Ty's stats instantly started to come back up and level out.

Doctor Delray took a deep breath and adjusted the monitor.

"ok, half-hourly obs ok, "he said, "we aren't out of the woods yet"

"Amy... Look, I love you. But I need to do this, and I need to do it alone. "

"Okay. Just don't tell me what to do, or what not to do."

"I'm not telling you what to do."

"Yes, you are! "

"When have I told you what to do? And even if I did, you wouldn't listen to me! "

"You're right. You're right. I guess this doesn't mean much anymore."

Images of the promise ring he gave her flashed through his mind;

"Amy," Ty breathed, he was just about at his limits. "I'm, sorry I should never have left you"

Ty shut his eyes, and slowly stood back up. Breathing in as deeply as he could.

The fog retreated slightly as he turned around under the light. His green eyes opened once more and he saw a figure walking towards him, he stood just out of reach, his cowboy hat casting a shadow across the ground in front of TY.

He smirked at Ty, his grin malicious. Ty knew that face.

Ty turned as he heard Amy's voice, he couldn't see her but as the conversation unfolded he could see the figure before him smile.

"There's something I gotta tell you... "

"Chase kissed me. "

"What?"

"Chase kissed me. "

"Why? It just sorta happened. "

"Nothing just happens, Amy. I'm gonna kill that guy".

"No. It was me too, okay? I kissed him back. I'm so sorry. It doesn't change anything. I still love you. "

"It doesn't change anything? Are you kidding me?"

"Ty... I just... I had to tell you. I know you'd tell me if anything ever happened With you and another girl. I just... Ty, you would tell me, right? I'd wanna know. "

"I'm glad you told me, But I'm still gonna kill him. "

"Ty, don't do anything, okay? "

" It didn't mean anything. I love you so much. I'm so sorry. Please... I'm so sorry. Please..."

Ty took a breath, trying to stay calm, the rage rising inside him. His clenched his fists as he took a few steps forward. The figure was gone, engulfed by the fog.

"enough "Ty hissed, his defenses raised high around him.

"What was that? "

"You know what that was."

"No, I don't, um... "

"Oh, come on, Ty. It's been there since the moment you picked me up in that rain. I know it. You know it. "

Ty spun around again as the voice came from behind him, he saw her walk through the fog, but it distorted her from view.

Ty's mouth was agape, he searched the darkness, trying to locate the origin of the voice.

"Look, I think I'm falling in love with you.

Okay... Stop, okay, um... Blair, you have a boyfriend and I have a girlfriend. Let's just keep this at a friendship thing."

"No, I didn't mean it to turn out that way, "He breathed, "I love Amy, I…"

"No. No, you feel something for me. I know. I can tell. "

The voice taunted him.

"No. No, it was always Amy "he replied, Ty rubbed his head, the images blending into one. The room suddenly stopped spinning and he looked up to see a younger version of himself standing before a visibly upset Amy Fleming.

He went to go towards them but he felt the hands restrain him, he was to watch and not engage.

"You really liked her, didn't you? "

"Before all this happened, yeah. We were good friends, all of us."

"And you were attracted to her, right? Ty, just be honest with me. "

"Okay, I was. But I backed off. I didn't let it..."

"Let it what?"

"I didn't go there. "

"Wow! Good for you."

"no, Amy, I never would have" Ty pleaded, seeing the hurt on her face. He wanted to run forward and push his younger self away. He knew if he could just hold her, she would see that he would never leave her. He would never choose another.

The anguish was overriding him as the conversation continued.

"No!" he yelled. "Amy please"

"This is about you and Blair! "

"Okay, and don't you tell me that you didn't lead her on because you did. She wouldn't have come onto you if you hadn't have. "

"And you didn't lead Chase on?! "

"At least I told you."

"Stop please, "Ty whispered, his head down in defeat. "no more"

"What do you want me to do, Amy?! "

"I don't know, Ty. Whatever you want to do!"

"I think we're done. I can't do this. "

"Maybe we are. "

"There's no maybes."

He sunk to his knees once again as the figures dissolved before him.

"I'm done, I can't do this anymore, "He breathed, letting himself collapse onto the floor. He saw the fog creep in, and surround him, but he didn't care.

"you win, "he said softly, "I'm done, you win"

Amy and Soraya slowly walked into the hospital room in the ICU.

They held each other's hands, pulling support between them.

Amy's breath hitched in her throat when she saw Ty laying in the bed before her. He was pale and still. Machines beeped all around him. Amy hesitantly walked towards the bed. Her hands shaking with each step.

Ty had Iv lines running from both arms and heart monitors on his chest. But the thing that made Amy tremble the most was the respirator that covered Ty's mouth. It held his mouth open slightly as a large flexible tube ran out of it to a ventilation machine. It hummed and whirred as it pumped oxygen into Ty's lungs.

"Oh Amy, "Soraya whispered,

Amy looked at her friend and didn't know what to say, she walked over to Ty's bedside and gently touched his hand, it was cold and unresponsive.

"Ty, "she whispered next to his ear, "I'm here, please come back to me"

Tys eyes flickered open and he was lying face down on the ground. He could smell marigolds and sorrel flowers, He didn't want to move in case he found himself back in that black room again. His fingers felt the grass below him, it was soft and damp. Slowly he moved and pulled himself up from his gut and sat on the hillside. The sky above him was a misty blue. There was no sun, just expanses of green hillsides rolling out in all directions.

"Ty" a soft voice carried on the wind. He looked around, trying to find its owner,

"Ty, please, "it said again, calling to him across the valleys and rises. "Come back to me"

"Amy, "he said in a faint whisper, looking around the surrounding countryside. The voice faded away as a breeze caught his shirt and pulled at it.

Ty's clothes were white again, the marks from the demons who had plagued him had vanished.

He slowly stood up, the grass between his toes as he took a few steps.

As he scanned the horizon, the familiar voice filled his ears yet again.

"I know you don't think so, but we can be friends. I mean, we are friends, right?"

"Amy," He called, her voice drifting past him like the summer sun.

"Just... We can be more than that. We need to be more than that 'cause... 'Cause I love you. I always have, and... Look, I know I've screwed up. More than a few times. I know. I love you so much."

"I love you too," Ty said, a smile of hope playing on his lips,

to be continued