Chapter 26
Johnny stares at the ground while Tory tends to his cut. "Tory, you mean everything to me. I'm such an ass for letting that happen. I don't deserve someone like you after last night." Johnny doesn't feel like he has a right to be here anymore. He gets up and goes to the Rover. "I want you to have these." He hands her the dozen roses. "Maybe someday you will find it in your heart to forgive me." Johnny kisses her cheek and then gets in the Rover and drives away.
Tory is standing alone next to her truck, her mind in a maelstrom of confusion.
Johnny drives toward home, his heart crushed. He decides to stop at the liquor store trying to find something to dull the pain in his heart. Not wanting to waste time with beer, he goes right for a bottle of rum. Grabbing a six pack of coke from the cooler by the register, Johnny cashes out and takes his purchases home.
Grabbing a glass from the kitchen, he opens a can of coke, fills the glass half way, and then uses the rum to complete filling the glass. His eyes are glassy with tears as he holds up the glass and toasts the fire department like he and Tory always did. He drinks deep from the glass, his need to be numb taking over his brain. Before long, his glass is empty and he makes another. It is now getting dark and Johnny has to use the light over the sink to mix his cocktail.
He retreats back to the darkness of the living room couch, and continues to dwell on his mistake. The rum and coke goes down smoothly, and as he reaches for another swig, he finds his glass empty. "Time for another drink," he grumbles, the alcohol starting to fog his brain. He goes back to the kitchen and makes himself a third drink. The rum bottle is more than half empty when Johnny knocks it over and it crashes into the sink and shatters. He starts to pick up the glass and then cuts his finger. Wrapping a paper towel around the cut, he grabs his drink and heads back to the couch. 'Who cares about the mess?' he thinks as he slumps back on the couch. He finally drifts off to sleep, the alcohol exhausting him.
Tory is miserable. She wants to go to him, but she doesn't trust what may happen if she goes to his apartment. She paces her room for a while, and then goes down stairs to commiserate with Petey.
The horse hears her on the steps and pokes his head out of his stall door.
"Hey, boy, here ya go." She feeds him some mints. "What do I do, Petey?" She strokes his neck. "I have to take you to the Match series. I owe it to you and to Dad. I can't expect him to wait for me and I can't ask him to come either. Maybe I can at least explain it to him that I am not leaving because of him. I do believe that he didn't mean to hurt me; maybe I can make him understand."
Tory pats Petey's neck. "Thanks boy, you always help me know what to do."
Tory goes upstairs and changes. She dials Johnny's number and gets no answer.
"He is probably asleep. I should go over and explain it to him, he is back on shift tomorrow and I will leave before his shift is over Wednesday morning."
Tory arrives at Johnny's apartment and sees his car in the parking lot. She knocks quietly on the door. It is almost 11 pm and she doesn't want his neighbors thinking this is a booty call. She gives up on knocking and grabs the spare key. She lets herself in and closes the door, placing the key on the table. The light from the kitchen casts a small amount of light on the drunk and now passed out figure of Johnny on the couch.
She turns on the small lamp by the door, trying not to blast him with light.
"Johnny? Johnny?" She calls to him. As she gets closer, she sees the glass on the table and can smell the rum on his breath.
"Oh, Johnny, what have you done to yourself?" She picks up the glass and takes it into the kitchen. She goes to make some coffee for him and sees the broken bottle in the sink.
She gets the coffee started and then carefully cleans up the mess.
Johnny is totally out with his alcohol state, and does not even stir at the noise coming from the kitchen. Tory glances out into the living room and feels guilty. "Look what I did to you. I never wanted to hurt you either," she whispers.
The coffee is ready and she pours him a cup. Turning the light off in the kitchen, she goes to him on the couch. She sets the coffee down and runs her fingers gently through his hair, the sensation making him grin in his sleep. He mumbles Tory's name but doesn't wake.
"Johnny, come on you gotta wake up," she whispers in his ear.
Johnny hears her voice and it makes his brain wonder if it is part of a dream.
"Johnny?" she says again, still combing through his hair.
He slowly opens his intoxicated brown eyes, and realizes she is really there. "Tory, you are really here," he slurs. "I thought you were in my dream."
She helps him sit up and then hands him the coffee. "Here, you look like you could use this."
"Does this mean you forgive me?" He looks at her; the alcohol making him brave enough to say what is really on his mind.
Tory draws a deep breath, knowing getting a half drunk Johnny to understand is not going to be easy. "Johnny, I believe you. I don't think that you meant to hurt me the other night. Things just got a little too intense for me, but I am fine now."
"Tory, I'm so sorry. I can't take it back. I love you and I never wanted anything like that to happen between us," he apologizes.
"Johnny, I have something I have to tell you, and you're probably not going to be happy about it, but it's something I have to do," she starts.
"What? You could never do anything to make me unhappy." Johnny tries to set her at ease, the coffee starting to spark his brain cells.
"Johnny, I have to leave California. They hold a series of races on the east coast called the Match Series and it is a very prestigious event. They hold one race at each track in the Midatlantic region and Petey has earned enough points to get in. This was my dad's dream come true. I owe it to him and I owe it to Petey to try and compete there."
Johnny is shocked that she is leaving, but he understands what she is saying. "So when are you leaving? When will you be back?"
Tory swallows hard. "I have to fly out Wednesday morning and I will be gone until after memorial weekend. That's when they have the championship at Monmouth Park."
"Wednesday? That's the day after tomorrow. I am on shift Tuesday," Johnny stops, his mind figuring out why Tory is here.
"Johnny, you're a good man. You deserve a good woman and a great life. My life is like working in a carnival. We pack up, go to a new track, race a few months and then pack up and do it all over again. You deserve more than I can give you right now, so I came to say thank you and good bye." Her eyes fill with tears as he looks at her with his puppy dog sad eyes.
Johnny is so overwhelmed that he doesn't know what to say. He just keeps looking at her, his expression saying it all. He takes all the courage he can muster before he speaks. "Tory, what if I was willing to wait for you? It's only six months. I don't want to end it. Please don't end it. I know you want to honor your father and go to the east coast. I get that, but why does it have to end for us?"
"Because it's not fair to you. You need to be out living life, doing things that make you happy - not waiting for me to come home. I want you to go on with your life. Be the someone special I know you are!" She takes her chain off and gives it back to him.
"No," he answers firmly. "I want you to keep it. At least you will have something to remember our time together by."
She smiles shyly at him and puts it back on her neck. "Well, I need to let you get some sleep. You're due on shift in three hours and I gotta finish packing. You take care of yourself."
"Will you at least give me a call to let me know you got there alright?" Johnny looks at her, his heart is broken.
"Yes, I will call you Wednesday night around eight, okay?" She answers.
"I guess it'll have to be," he says defeated.
"Okay then, I better go." She leans down and shares one last kiss with him and she leaves locking the door behind her.
Johnny arrives at the station early; he has not had a wink of sleep since Tory left his apartment. His mood is grim and his hangover is not helping. Roy meets Johnny in the locker room and can tell immediately that this is going be a long shift.
Studying his partner, he sees no new Tory tattoos and the chain is now missing from his neck. As Johnny turns his head, Roy catches a glimpse of the cut on his cheek from Dan the previous day.
"How are you feeling, Junior? I heard Tory had to take you back to Rampart."
"Yeah, mild concussion from the guy at the bar. I'm already cleared for work," Johnny answers flatly.
"I figured that, but you don't look like you want to be here," Roy observes. "You and Tory doin' okay?"
"Roy," Johnny sighs. "She is leaving. She is going to the east coast for six months."
"Why?" Roy questions. "I thought things were going well for you two?"
"Yeah, but her horse is going there to race and she is going with him," he grumbles. "This was something her father had always dreamed of, and she wants to finish the dream he started."
"Well, you can't be upset with her for that," Roy soothes.
"I'm not. I'm upset with me for being an ass to her, and I'm more upset that she broke up with me! I told her I would wait for her to come back, but she wouldn't hear of it," Johnny grunts. "She said it was unfair to me to wait for her. She said I would never be happy doing that."
"And what do you say?" Roy asks, looking him in the eye for the truth.
"I really wanted to wait. I don't even want to think of being with anyone else," he whines.
"Then do it. Someone said once, 'if you love something set it free. If it comes back to you it was meant to be.' That's not the exact quote, but you get the Idea. Maybe she will change her mind when she gets out there," Roy explains.
"Yeah, like absence makes the heart grow fonder," Johnny recites back. "Roy, you are a genius." Johnny walks out to the Rover and takes his chain out of the glove compartment and puts it back on.
Cap calls them to attention and gives out the assignments of the day. Johnny heads to the squad to start inventory and calibrations and Cap calls his name. "Ah, John, you have a visitor."
Johnny looks up and sees Patty standing there. "Thanks, Cap," Johnny nods.
"Hey Patty, what brings you down here?" His voice is sad and flat.
"Is there somewhere we can talk?" Patty asks.
"Yeah, sure. Cap I'll be outback," he calls into Cap's office.
"Sure, John," he answers.
Johnny leads her out back and they take a seat at the picnic table.
"So, what happened?" She asks getting all excited.
"She got a once in a lifetime opportunity to race Petey in the Match series. It's supposed to be a big deal. This was her father's dream and I guess its hers too."
"She's not still mad at you, right?" Patty questions.
"No, not exactly," Johnny answers vaguely.
"So what did she say when you gave her the ring?"
His expression was her answer.
"You didn't give her the ring did you?" Patty sighs feeling badly for him.
"I couldn't. I didn't want to stop her from finishing what her father started. She deserves that. I told her I would wait for her to come back, but she wouldn't hear of it. She told me to go on with my life without her. She didn't want me lonely or unhappy. She said I deserve better, but I already had the best so there is no better," he sighs.
"Johnny, I'm really sorry. I know you love her. I wish I could do something to make you feel better," Patty sympathizes.
Trying to be himself for a minute he pulls out his best crooked grin. "Can I be on top? Just kidding," he teases.
The End
A/N: Thank you for reading my story. I hope you enjoyed it. Comments and questions are always welcome. There is a sequel to this story that is complete but not edited, depending on the reviews or comments I may publish it at a future date.