A/N: OMFG!! I got 102 reviews for that chapter alone! Wow! Thank you all so much for all of those reviews. I had no idea that the last chapter would be as popular as it was. I got some amazing compliments from people saying that I was one of the funniest authors on the site. Wow! That meant so much. Thank you. I'm glad that you all liked the last update. I've had a lot of questions about how Charlie knows when Edward's about. :o)
I also want to say I'm glad that you all like Charlie in this story. I know that in other stories he would have flipped out, but I'm strange that way. I always try and make my characters different from everyone else. Sorry if that bothers anyone. lol. I know that's probably quite bad, but it's a nice change :o)
Hope you all like this chapter :o)
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Edward's POV
It had been little over a month since the absolutely frickin' wonderful family and friends vacation had come to an end, and let me tell you, I could not be happier! Hopefully Granny will think twice before dropping by with James in the future. This has probably been our most memorable year yet...for many reasons. But I guess some of her visit was quite amusing, and she didn't hit me which is always a plus, don't you think?
Lying across the sofa of the Swan household, flicking through the channels of the buzzing TV with Bella resting against my chest, I couldn't help but sigh. Friday night, pouring down with rain and nothing to watch. What fun. But now that you guys know me, you probably already know that this is me being sarcastic. Turning off the stupid box in the corner, I lay my head back against the couch, closing my eyes while trying to think of something else we could do. We had already talked to everyone online. Watched a DVD. Bella had let me draw a smiley face on her small bump, which personally I think resembled Shrek perfectly...Ugh, there's nothing to do! We can't even invite the guys over because Charlie's home.
"Hey kids..." Mr. S began, walking into the living room "I just got a call from the station. I have to go, another robbery. You guys be OK here on your own?"
"Yes Dad." Bella smirked, rolling her eyes "We'll be fine. I'm pregnant, not helpless."
Smiling, Charlie gave a small nod, grabbed his gun and badge from the desk and left. There had been a lot of robberies during the last month. Remember, that's why Charlie had to leave the cabin early. Well, they still hadn't caught the guy. I know, I find it strange too since we live in such a small town. Hearing the front door close, I settled back into the couch, Bella turning round to face me with the crooked smirk that I was so infamous for.
"Well Edward..." She began, kissing my neck "We're all alone in this big house..." She carried on, kissing the other side of my neck "Wat do you plan on us doing now?"
She pulled back, inches from my face with a wide smile.
"Let's call the guys up." I said, sitting up fully, Bella falling back onto the other side of the couch "We can get Emmett to bring over Guitar Hero! I swear, I'm going to beat him No Sleep Till Brooklyn if it kills me!"
"You are so oblivious!" She stated, getting up and leaving the room.
What did I do now?
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Bella's POV
Ugh. Edward has the attention span of a banana! Why come every time I practically throw myself at him, he doesn't click? I wonder if his real father was anything like him when he was a teenager. Might explain a lot. After I cooled down and decided to go back into the living room, I was surprised to see that Emmett and Jasper had already arrived. Wow, that was fast.
"Hey Bells!" Emmett boomed, crushing me with a hug before patting my bump "Hey Baby Bells."
"Baby Bells?" I questioned with a smirk "You think it's a girl?"
"If it's not then you're screwed." He laughed "Hey, where can I set up the Wii?"
"My room." I said.
As the guys headed upstairs Rosalie and Alice walked in, Rosalie shaking her umbrella as Alice ran her fingers through her short hair. Their cheeks and noses were red, and even with the umbrella, Rosalie had still managed to get soaked.
"What did you do, swim here?" I asked with a chuckle.
"Oh ha ha." She muttered, folding the umbrella and sitting it at the door "We would have caught a ride with the guys, but Alice here insisted that we had to watch the news about these stupid robberies. C'mon! What's the point!? It's just someone who's bored and is breaking into houses. Big whoop!"
"You wouldn't be saying that if it was your house that they broke into." Alice said in a matter of fact tone, shrugging off her jacket "Seriously guys, this might end up getting really bad. The police don't know who it is at all, and the robber is starting to fan out a bit more. It was just a few days ago where my neighbour got her house broken into. I mean...imagine if it was my place! What if he stole my Mom's jewellery...or my grandfathers old pocket watch...or even worse, my shoes!"
"Yeah, well don't worry Alice..." I said as we headed upstairs "Out of all the houses in Forks, do you really expect him to pick our houses? And what would a guy want with your shoes. Hell, he wouldn't even be able to carry them all out. Now lets stop talking about this and have some fun"
By the time we reached my bedroom, we walked in to find Emmett and Edward playing the guitar like there lives depended on it, and I hate to admit it, but Emmett was kicking his ass. I guess Edward should just stick to real guitar.
"HA!" Emmett boomed once the game came to an end "Told you I'd win!"
"Shut up." Edward sneered, taking off the guitar before collapsing onto the bed.
We sat and talked for a few hours, munching into junk food while Edward and Emmett continued to play the game that I was really starting to hate. Seriously, there is only so much of 'The Beastie Boys' that I can take. Finally when their game came to an end, resulting in Emmett winning and Edward ripping the Wii cables from the TV, the two sat down and joined in on the conversation.
"So I've made an apointment for my first scan." I announced, reciving ear clutching screams from Alice and Rose.
"Oh my gosh!" Rosalie cried "When!?"
"Next week." I answered with a chuckle "It'll be too early to find out the sex, but I don't care."
"Woah..." Edward began "We're going to find out the sex of the baby? Don't you want it to be a surprise?"
"Ugh!" Alice moaned before I could answer "How many times do I have to go over this with you guys!? The baby is a boy!"
"Well the scan will prove it." I said "Now...what do you guys want to do now?"
But before anyone could answer, a small crash from downstairs caused us to jump, Emmett ending up in Rosalie's lap. Big baby.
"W-what was that?" He stuttered, looking towards the door.
"Probably just the wind." Edward answered, putting on a brave face.
We jumped again when there was another crash and the sound of glass breaking.
"Ah shit..." We heard from downstairs.
"And that was the wind too?" Jasper whimpered.
"Oh my gosh Bella!" Alice whispered harshly "The robber is down stairs!"
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Edward's POV
Ok...breathe...remain calm...there's just someone broke into the house and is currently robbing us...I want my Mommy! Looking round the group of friends, I noticed that all of them were looking at me expectantly. Oh hell no! Now way am I going down to check what's going on! The guy could have a gun or something!
"Oh no." I whispered, looking at them all as if they had gone crazy "No way am I going down there myself!"
"Please Edward." Bella begged, clasping her hands together.
"Nuh-uh." I mumbled, crossing my arms over my chest "You'll see Jasper sprout wings and fly before you see me go down there."
"Edward..." Bella began, a little more sternly "If you don't go down, I will never have sex with you again."
"Ooh..." Jasper winced "No sex card, dude. I would go if I were you."
I turned to glare at my friend, who I could see was trying hard not to smirk.
"Emmett and Jasper will go with you!" Rose said, shoving Emmett off her lap.
HA! Take that
"Emmett and Jasper will do what!?" The both whispered back, looking at the blond as if she was giving them a death sentence.
But neither of the girls said anything. Instead, they all pointed to the door, ushering us out. Ok, time to suck it up and be the brave boyfriend...Plus, I want my sex. Nervously, we stood up, slowly making our way out of the bedroom, only to have the girls close the door. Great! Now we don't even have a room where we can run back to for safety if need be!
"I'm going to be having strong words with Rose after this!" Emmett whispered as we made our way downstairs, trying hard to avoid the creaks on the stairs.
About half way down, we heard more banging clinking and the odd curse word. Jeez...tell me how they haven't managed to catch this guy? I couldn't help but roll my eyes when Emmett jumped behind Jasper and I. Wimp.
"So what do you think we should do?" Jasper asked, looking at me as if I had all the answers.
"I think we should make like hockey sticks and get the puck outta here!" I said, trying hard not to raise my voice.
"Ok..." Jasper began "We'll take one look at him, get back upstairs and call the police..."
Nodding a little, I led Emmett and Jasper further downstairs. Quietly, we crept over to the living room. Nothing. Looking over at the kitchen, I noticed the light was on.
"Ok..." I began, walking over quietly "What type of robber starts in the kitchen!?"
"That's the first place I'd start." Emmett mumbled, causing both Jasper and I to roll our eyes.
That's Emmett for you though. Thinks with his stomach instead of his head. Peering round the door, we noticed the fridge open with someone ransacking it, wiggling their ass in the air while whistling. Ugh, a sight that I was hoping to forget very quickly. I couldn't really see what he looked like from the front, but from the back he had long brownish hair that was matted a little. He was dressed in nothing but black, with chains hanging from his jeans. Motioning for Emmett and Jasper to keep quiet, I tip toed towards the man. Now I don't know what possesed me to do the next thing, but I picked up a frying pan from the counter, continued on my journey towards the unwanted intruder and tapped him on the shoulder...and just as the dude turned round...WHACK! Right off his head. I watched as his eyes rolled back and he fell to the floor...OK...now what do I do?
"What the hell Edward!?" Jasper exclaimed, coming out of his hiding place, quickly followed by Emmett "I didn't know murder was part of your plan!"
"He's not dead..." I began, looking down at the guy "I think..."
"You are deeply nuts." Emmett said.
"Hey!" I defended myself "You don't like my plans, then don't put me in charge!"
"I'll shout the girls..." Jasper sighed "You...I don't know, do something with him..." Emmett's eyes widened in excitement as he was about to say something "And no Emmett, you can not braid his hair...It's scary enough that you actually know how to do that."
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Bella's POV
We sat pressed against the door, trying hard to hear anything that was going on downstairs, but it was silent. I looked over at Rosalie, who looked like she was about to crap herself, and Alice, who was looking at me as if she knew this was going to happen the whole time! Psycic pixie! We sat there for what felt like hours, until we heard a loud clatter and the muffled voices of the guys. Oh no! Oh gosh, what's happening? Are they fighting? Did someone get hurt!? Oh my gosh, it's Edward! He's dead! I'm going to be raising this baby by myself! I began to hyperventilate, Alice and Rose trying to calm me.
"Snap out of it Bella." Alice said, slapping my face a little "Im...I'm sure it's nothing..."
"Uh...guys..." Came the voice of Jasper, snapping me out of my meltdown "You uh...you can come down now..."
Hmm...that was fast. Standing up, the three of us made out way out of the room and downstairs. Well...Jasper seemed calm enough, so I doubt that Edward was dead. Although the blond boy did look rather...nervous about something. Oh good lord! What have they done this time.
"Ok..." Jasper began, leading heading towards the kitchen, us following close behind "I...I don't know how to tell you all this...but it's all Edward's fault!"
Hmm, surprise surprise. Walking into the kitchen, I couldn't help but gasp, my hands flying to my mouth, there sitting right in front of me was the robber tied to one of my kitchen chairs...oh yeah, and did I mention he was UNCONSCIOUS!
"Oh...my gosh!" I splurted out "We're all going to jail this time! Edward what the hell!?"
"Hey!" He began "I captured this guy! I'm a hero here!"
I was just about to scream at him. Yell! Do something that caused him discomfort, but just as I opened my mouth, the long haired, facial pierced robber mumbled, opening his eyes a little. It's funny how your anger can be directed at one person, and in a matter of minutes switch to someone else.
"What the hell are you doing in my house!" I cried, my hands flying to my hips "I'm going to call my Dad, and he'll arrest your sorry ass."
"Ooh." He said, giving me a cut-the-crap look "I'm so scared. Mind untying me?"
"How stupid do you think I am!?" I cried, scowling at the man.
"Well..." He said, nodding towards my bump "I can see that you've got a bun in the oven, and at such a young age. I'm guessing...very..."
Ugh! This guy is the reason condoms were invented!
"Listen asshole!" Edward cut in "Unless you want that frying pan I hit you with to become a permanent part of your anatomy, I'd shut the hell up!"
"Look kids...we can do this the easy way, where you let me go..." He said, looking between all of us "Or, we can do this the hard way, where I get out, cause each and every one of you a severe amount of pain before robbing your asses and fucking off. Now...take your pick..."
"Severe amount of pain!?" Rosalie asked, a hint of a smirk playing at her lips "Honey, you wouldn't know pain if it came up and hit you itself."
"And you would!?" He scoffed "Boy I'd love to see what you classify as pain."
Smiling, I got an idea, and looking at Rosalie and Alice I seen that they had the same thought.
"Rose..." I began, crossing my arms over my chest while looking at the idiot before me "Go get...the stuff..."
~*Twilight*~
Five minutes later, Rosalie was back with 'The Stuff'. She sat everything on the kitchen table, Alice and I going over to help get the stuff ready while all the guys stared back at us in confusion.
"Uh...Bells..." Edward began "What you guys doing?"
"Don't worry Edward..." Rosalie began, holding up the object that was going to cause this douche bag a lot of pain "It's just a little present for our...guest."
I watched as Emmett, Jasper and Edward smirked in realisation, Edward biting his knuckles in order to hold his laughter in.
"No this..." I began, walking up to the intruder "Is going to hurt."
"What ever you say babe."
Babe!? No one but Edward gets to call me that! Fuming, I knelt down in front of him, rolling up his trousers to reveal, probably the most hairiest legs I have ever seen. Smirking up at the man, who was in even more confusion now, I tore off the paper from the wax strip that Rosalie had brought down, and applied it to the mans leg.
"Oh ow, ee. So painful. Please stop" The man droned on.
Oh, he likes sarcasm does he? I just smiled up at him, receiving a small sneer in return before ripping the wax strip straight from his leg, leaving a bald patch...and him screaming.
"OH HOLY SHIT!" He cursed, writhing about in his seat "That motherfucking piece of shit!"
"Oh I'm sorry..." I said with a smile "Did that hurt?"
"YES!" He cried.
"Hope it did you bastard..." I heard Rosalie mumble.
By this time, everyone (except the dude in the chair) was in hysterics.
"Hey..." Alice began, a smirk gracing her face as she calmed down "Maybe we should teach or friend here a valuable lesson...where he'll never want to rob, or mess with a girl ever again..."
I like the way she thinks.
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Edward's POV
"Remind me never to mess with you girls." Charlie chuckled as he looked at the robber before him.
Once Alice, Rose and Bella had gotten their payback on the dickhead sitting in front of us, I called up Charlie and told him what had went down. He was here in a matter of minutes, along with half of Forks Police Officers, thinking that it was a serious situation...but when they arrived, they got a big surprise. Sitting in the chair was no longer the long haired badly dressed, peirced robber that only an hour ago we had been frightened of, but instead a man who had went through the magic touches of Alice Brandon. I couldn't help but laugh at the sight of him.
At first, I thought the girls were off their head, but now that I see the robber sitting there, make-up covering all his 'blemishes' as Alice liked to put it, his hair brushed, straightened and put up in girly bows and his finger and toe nails painted, I just had to laugh. But the thing that put the cherry on top of it was when Rose went and grabbed one of Bella's bikinis, managing to fit it onto him. It's now official. Emmett, Jasper and I should fear our girlfriends...more.
"Well done guys..." Charlie began as a couple of the fellow officers dragged the robber out, laughing their heads off "You just managed to catch Fork's most wanted."
"Well, you really should be congratulating Edward Dad." Bella began, coming over and wrapping her arms around me, hugging into my side "He's the one that knocked him out and tied him up in the first place."
Oh, so now she's happy for me!
"Nothing surprises me there." Charlie smirked "Well done son. I'll make sure and tell your Dad."
Smiling, I watched as Charlie and the others left to watch the robber get taken away, leaving Bella and I alone.
"This is weird." I said "I mean...My stupidity actually managed to do good for once! I'm just waiting for it all to backfire."
"Edward." Bella began, looking up at me with a smile "Just shut up."
Smiling back, I leaned down and kissed her. I guess the night wasn't as boring as I thought it was after all.
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A/N: Ok, this is like the 6th time I've wrote this chapter. I just could not get any ideas that I liked, and this one wasn't my favorite, but you've been waiting for a while for an update, and I had to just give you guys one. I know this chapter wasn't hysterical, but hopefully you all liked it. I'm just surprised that with every chapter I manage to come up with new stuff. lol. Please R&R and tell me what you think.
Also, the poll will be closing on Friday, so make sure you get your votes in :o)
Question Time:
1. Do you want Renee and Phil to make an appearance in the future (not near)?
2. Do you want only Bella to be pregnant?
3. Do you guys actually like having questions for your views, or would you rather I didn't leave any?
Also, I've started my first contest on YouTube guys. Please check the link out, and if you want to, enter. It would be great :o)
Take Care :o)