In which Red and Leaf want capes.
They eventually made it to the Pokémon League building, not finding Moltres at all. They did find an extra maze made out of unnecessary pillars, which triggered Red's rage.
"When I'm Champion," he said, unaware that the title wouldn't just get handed down in this universe, "I'm going to have this place destroyed and replaced with something easier. Like a building that just takes you from Point A to Point B."
"Approved," Leaf grumbled, as Sheldon attempted to push the pillar down to create a domino effect like on TV.
But once they figured out how to get through, which did include some tight squeezes between pillars, things became slightly easier as they reached the biggest Pokémon Center they'd ever seen. After healing and stocking up with as many Revives and Full Restores as he could afford (Leaf stubbornly refused to pay for more than ten of each, because of her trampoline fund) Red stepped into the first room.
The woman inside was pretty, he supposed. He wasn't really into girls yet, preferring to play with his Pokémon than dedicate any time to romance. Still, even he had to admit that she was very pleasant-looking.
Especially when she held a Pokeball in her hand, as if she was threatening the children.
"Welcome to the Pokémon League," she said, and even her voice was pleasant. "I am Lorelei of the Elite Four, the Kanto region's Ice-type master. Your Pokémon won't stand a chance when frozen solid. Are you prepared?"
"Uh…" Red smiled nervously. "Probably?"
"Good enough," said Lorelei, and sent out a Lapras.
Red decided that if she was using one, he might as well do the same. Putting aside Espeon for the moment, he chose a different ball. "Let's go, Lapras!"
He hadn't lost yet, after all. He had confidence that he was going to die an undefeated Champion, and that it was Lorelei's Pokémon that didn't stand a chance.
He was right, for the most part.
The battle was much harder than Red had anticipated, but eventually, his Lapras defeated Lorelei's. Lorelei decided not to send in another Pokémon, saying something about not caring what the Champion thought, the kid deserved to be rewarded for shutting down Team Rocket before the Elites were called in. They didn't really pay attention, and moved on to the next room.
They remembered when Brock removed his shirt for the battle, though they wished he hadn't. Bruno, the second member of the Elite Four, had no shirt in the first place.
"Do they let people do that?" Leaf asked, more exasperated than anything, as Red looked everywhere but his opponent.
"For a Fighting-type specialist," Bruno said, knowing exactly what she was talking about, "these muscles are all the shirt I need."
"Do not flex," Red warned. "There are children present."
Leaf groaned and sank to the floor, her hands over her eyes. "Make it fast, Red," she told him, and Red forced himself to look at the man blocking the door.
"Fighting-type, you say?" This would be quick after all. "Ok. Send out your first Pokémon, and we'll have our battle."
"You sound like you have a good counter to Fighting-types," Bruno pointed out.
"I have an Espeon," Red admitted.
"Then let's try something different." Bruno chose a Pokémon, and from the look on his face, it wouldn't be Fighting-type at all. "Let's go, Onix!"
Yep. Not Fighting-type at all. "You call yourself a type specialist? That's going against everything your challengers prepared for!"
"It's not even a Steelix," Leaf added.
"I could use my full team against you," Bruno pointed out, and Red immediately turned his thinking around.
"I had no idea you were giving me the same treatment Lorelei did," he admitted. "I'll take the Onix. Let's go, Ralph!"
After the complete disappointment that resulted from the second battle in Red's Elite Four challenge, they started to think it would be easier. They didn't know who his next two opponents were, but it wasn't hard to imagine that it would be more of the same.
The old woman that they found in the third room was not what they were expecting at all.
"I am Agatha," she said, the tone of her voice telling them all they needed to know about her tolerance for stupid stunts. "And I know who you are. You're the boy that chased Samuel Oak's grandson across the region."
"No one chased anyone," Red insisted, then he stopped. "Wait. You know Professor Oak?"
"We were like you and Blue, when we were young. Friends that became rivals, each trying to be the best Pokémon trainer. I won, of course." She frowned, lost in old memories. "We drifted apart when he decided to be a professor. We only speak when he sends new Pokedex carriers out into the world. Now he sends both of you out on an adventure, in the same year, probably just to annoy me."
"Probably," Leaf agreed. "Both of them are pretty annoying."
Red thumped her on the back of the head. She laughed it off. Agatha smiled despite her best efforts.
"Lance won't mind having two battles back to back," she decided. "One Pokémon each, boy. Does that sound like a deal?"
"The best kind of deal," Red told her, deciding not to mention that he'd received the same deal from the two before her. "I want my picture in the Hall of Fame, right there with yours and the professor's!"
"You might as well be my grandson, with that kind of determination." Agatha selected her Pokemon carefully. "I hope you can make the right choice when battling this!"
She threw the ball, and out popped a Gengar. Red paused to consider which would be best to play type advantage with, and selected Golduck.
And Agatha decided that she wanted to see where this rivalry ended, especially when Gengar was left unable to continue the fight.
The end of the Elite Four challenge was a man with spiky hair who had apparently decided that capes were still stylish. Since this was something that Red and Leaf agreed on, both of them being big costume kids, they immediately got distracted by the swishing of said cape, even as he was giving his opening monologue.
"Are you even listening?" he finally asked, and both of them jumped, startled out of cape-related daydreams.
"Huh?" the siblings said together, looking at his face for the first time.
Of course they weren't. No one ever listened when they were so close to the Champion. "Ok, here's the short version. The name's Lance, I use Dragon-type Pokémon, and I'm the last guard for the Champion. Prepare yourselves, blah blah blah, I don't have all night. Dragonite, let's roll."
The Dragonite wasn't even in a ball, it was just sitting in the corner, playing with a paper airplane. It didn't even look up at its trainer's call.
"Dragonite," Lance said, and this time, Dragonite did look up. "I meant you. Let's go."
"You could have just thrown a soft object at me," Dragonite pointed out.
Lance, unable to understand Pokémon, wondered of this meant he was not prepared to be the Champion. Then he pushed the thought away as Red called Lapras once again, hoping that an Ice-type would be enough.