A/N: I have no rights to SOA

Chapter 26

Season 2, Episode 10: Balm

After Jax left to go to CaraCara, Tara got ready for the day. Chibs was being released and she had to go sign his release forms. When she got to the hospital, Happy and Half Sack were waiting with Chibs. Tara wheeled in a wheelchair.

"Hospital Policy, Chibs," Tara smiled. Half Sack took the over the driving and Tara did her best to keep Half Sack and Chibs under control until they saw Jax and Bobby.

"Run, Prospect," Chibs ordered as Tara pushed the button to open the doors. Half Sack took off at a full run pushing the wheelchair and Chibs hollered something unintelligible in his thick Scottish accent.

He skidded to a stop in front of them. "Jackie Boy, Elvis," Chibs said standing and ripping off his bandage.

Bobby helped him into his cut. "Clearly there has been some brain damage."

Chibs turned and hugged him. Tara stopped just behind the guys. She noticed the hall had cleared.

"I'm pretty sure he was this stupid before he got here," Jax said giving Chibs a hug too.

Tara followed behind them as Jax and Chibs led the group, their heads hung holding a conversation in a whisper.

"Let's get you home," Jax said, handing Chibs over to Happy and Bobby.

Jax turned and put his hands on her shoulders. She put her hands on his waist and he moved his hands to her head. "Thank you," Jax said leaning in to kiss her. "See you later."

Tara was happy to see Chibs healthy and safe. Despite herself, seeing those guys so happy made her happy. She turned and saw Margaret's disapproving glare. She gave her an uncomfortable smile and turned to go get her bag. She decided to go home and relax before her shift. She could read there.

Jax & Tara

Tara was reading on the couch, and Neeta was doing some cleaning in the kitchen when Tara heard a knock on the door.

"I got it Neeta," Tara said standing to open the door. "Agent Stahl," Tara said surprised when she opened the door.

"Dr. Knowles," Stahl said. "I'm not surprised to find you here. Can I come in?"

Tara looked at her.

"I just want to talk to Jax."

"He's not here."

"Get him here."

Tara stepped back and watched as Stahl went into the living room and sat on the couch. She picked up a magazine and started flipping through it. Tara took out her phone and texted Jax to come home.

Neeta came to the kitchen door.

"Oh, Neeta, why don't you go to the store while I'm still home?"

Neeta nodded and picked up her purse before leaving. Just as Neeta walked out, Abel cried from playpen. Tara went to pick him up and carried him into the kitchen to watch for Jax. He pulled up and Tara carried Abel to the door.

Jax came in. "What's up? Your text was vague."

Tara turned and led Jax into the living room where Stahl was lounging on their couch reading a motorcycle magazine.

"You got a warrant?" Jax asked.

Tara stood on the other side of the room watching the interaction.

"You see me searching?"

"Well, I got nothing to say to you," Jax said. He turned and went to Tara. "Hey, what's happening little man?" he greeted Abel, kissing his head. "Where's Neeta?"

"I sent her out for groceries."

"Look at you two, Ozzie and Harriet," Stahl said breaking the moment. She tossed her magazine down.

"Oh, shut up," Tara said with malice. She knew this woman had something to do with Donna's murder.

"Get out, now," Jax said protectively.

"I was just curious Jax, I just wanted to know why you were leaving SAMCRO," Stahl said.

Tara raised her eyebrows. What did that woman just say? How did Stahl know before she did?

"Give me a minute," Jax said to Tara.

Tara cocked her head to the side and decided to be obedient for once. She went into the nursery and laid Abel down and rubbed his tummy until he fell asleep. She could hear Stahl and Jax talking. She heard the door close and Jax walk into the nursery.

"You ok?"

Tara turned. "What was she talking about?"

"I'm joining the nomad charter of the Sons," Jax said. "It means I'm still a member of the MC, I'm just not attached to any one town."

"Leave Charming?" Tara couldn't believe this turn of events. SAMCRO was Jax's life. Charming was the only place Jax had ever wanted to live.

"No," Jax shook his head. "The rest of the nomads are spread out up north. I'd attend Church in different places, put a few more miles on my bike. I gotta do this Tara. I need space between me and Clay."

"How do you fix SAMCRO if you are not a part of it?"

"I can't do what I need to do with this guy in place," Jax said forcefully. "I ride independently for a few years and wait for him to step down."

"A few years?" Tara said stepping forward. "We've barely made it through the past few months." Jax nodded. Then Tara came to a realization. "You made this decision with out me."

"Its the right thing."

"If its the right thing then why were you afraid to tell me?" Tara asked skeptical of this decision.

Jax took a deep breath. "You're going to be late for work, I'll wait for Neeta."

Jax turned and left the nursery. Tara tried to figure out what to do. She turned to Abel, then turned and left the house. Gemma would know what to do.

Tara drove over to Teller Morrow and found Gemma in the office. She went in and closed the door.

Gemma took off her glasses. "What?"

Tara walked in, trying to figure out what to say. She sat down in front of Gemma's desk, and crossed her legs.

"Jax says he's joining the Nomad charter," Tara said. "Needs to get away from Clay."

"Jesus Christ," Gemma said standing up quickly and turning away.

"The shit that's been going on around here, maybe its a good solution," Tara tried, not really sure if this Nomad thing was a good idea or not.

"No, its not," Gemma said turning around. "Nomad is...nomad is MC pergatory. No family, no roots."

"He seems convinced that this is the best thing."

"Yeah, well he's so deep in his hate for Clay, he don't know what's best."

"But isn't that hatred a good reason to step away," Tara said. She understood why Jax was stepping away from SAMCRO, she was here to find out what it would mean for her and Abel.

"Look," Gemma said. "You don't want Jax in a charter scattered across four states. On the road alone. The list of enemies we have. You want that phone call telling you where to pick up the body?"

Tara looked down. That is what it would mean. Jax out there completely unprotected. He would be dead with in the year.

"Shit," Gemma said turning away.

They stayed like that for a long time. "I have to go to the hospital. I have a surgery this afternoon."

"Call me later," Gemma said.

Tara nodded as she walked out.

As she drove she contemplated what she should do. She had no cards to play with Jax on this. She could not convince him to stay. She knew that if he did, either he would kill Clay or Clay would kill him, that is if nothing changed.

She pulled up to the hospital and went in. She had to get changed and get scrubbed in.

She walked past the operating room nurse's station and saw Margaret there, choosing to ignore her.

"Dr. Mason didn't call you?" Margaret said as she walked by.

"Well, I haven't returned yet," Tara said. "I have to scrub in, I have an umbilical hernia repair."

"Dr. Barkley is taking the surgery," Margaret said.

"Why?"

"The rouse you played with Phillip Telford."

"I don't know what you are talking about."

"Faking symptoms to extend his critical status. It as unethical, dangerous and a breach of insurance law."

"He said he had severe head pain."

"Come on Doctor, the biker's not that clever, he was coached by you."

"I was taking care of a vulnerable patient."

"By breaking the law."

"By doing my job."

"You'll get an opportunity to explain yourself to the board, until then I've had your privileges suspended."

Margaret turned and walked away, leaving Tara standing there stunned. After a few moments, she started walking back out to her car. She wasn't sure where to go. Jax would be at the clubhouse. The vote was this afternoon. She didn't want to go home, she couldn't care for Abel right now. Lena was in her surgery. Rachel was off for the day. She went out and sat in her car. She really wanted a ride on the back of Jax's bike. That would help.

She drove around and eventually got to the clubhouse and waited outside for Jax. He would need her support right now and she really didn't want to talk about her day. She stood waiting for him, leaning against the post.

The clubhouse door opened and Jax walked out. When he saw her, he dropped his eyes to the ground and swaggered toward her. She saw the patches missing from his cut and then looked up at him. She brushed his hair away from his face and touched his cheek.

"You ok?" she asked, knowing he wasn't, but what else was there to say at that point. Jax shrugged and raised his eyes from hers. Tara dropped her hands to his chest where he patches were missing. She tapped her fingers on the empty spot over his heart and then looked up at him. "I have some vacation time coming, let's just...get away for a few days. The beach, the desert, I don't care."

"What about the kid?"

"Take him with us," Tara said as if it was obvious. "Let's just go. Tonight."

Jax thought for a minute. "Ok."

Tara smiled at him and nodded as Gemma approached from across the lot. She looked at Jax's chest.

"I need to talk to you," Gemma said.

Jax steppe back. "Its done Ma," he said shaking his head.

"Meet me at my house," Gemma said. She looked at Tara seriously. "Both of you."

Jax shook his head and stepped forward to hug Tara. "We can just go home," Jax whispered.

"No, we should hear what she has to say," Tara whispered into his neck.

Jax nodded. "I'll follow you."

Jax & Tara

They got to the Teller Morrow house and Jax let them in with his key. Tara went into the kitchen and boiled some water. Tea seemed like a fitting drink for what was about to happen. Jax sat at the table and smoked while they waited.

The door opened and Clay and Gemma walked in. Jax stood and turned. Clay looked surprised to see Jax and Tara at his dining room table. Gemma and Tara caught each other's gaze and Gemma stood up from where she was leaning.

"Sit down, both of you," she commanded. Gemma walked into the dining room to her seat. Clay sat at the head of the table.

Tara thought this should be a family moment and walked into the kitchen to give them some time and space.

"You too, sweetheart," Gemma said as Tara walked into the kitchen.

Tara turned to make sure Gemma was talking to her.

"Sit, you know what it is I have to tell them," Gemma said taking her seat.

Tara set down the kettle, stunned. She had assumed this was about Jax going Nomad. She couldn't believe Gemma was playing this card tonight.

Tara stepped back into the dining room and made her way toward the seat next to Jax.

"What is this about?" Clay asked quietly.

Tara sat, her gaze on Gemma, watching her, willing all of her strength to Gemma. This would be the hardest thing Gemma would ever have to tell Jax and Clay. She needed all of the strength in the world to get through this conversation.

Jax looked at her, but she couldn't meet his eyes. She hadn't told him the whole truth. But she reached over and held his hand. She hadn't heard the whole story yet, and she needed to touch him to feel safe.

Gemma looked down at the table and began.

"The night of Bobby's party, I didn't get into an accident driving home. I was attacked. A minivan, pulls up behind me. A girl, jumps out in a panic. Says her baby's choking. The girl was very convincing. A god damn doll in the car seat. She hit me over the back of the head with a...black jack, something. I came to, handcuffed to a chain link. The utility house out by the access road. They wore masks. There were three of them. When he spoke, I knew his voice. The tat on his throat. Zobelle's right hand. Weston. Told me to deliver a message to you. Stop selling guns to color. Said if I didn't tell you, they'd find me and do it again." Gemma paused as everyone around the table waited for her to confirm the worst thing that could happen to her. Tara nodded, her eyes glistening. "They raped me. All three of them. More than once."

Jax let go of Tara's hand, physically trying to control his rage. He slammed his hand on the table, causing Tara to jump. Tara watched as Clay tried to process the information. Jax got up and walked around the table. He reached for Gemma's hands and lifted them to his face, Gemma began to cry. Jax kissed her hands, in a sort of apology. Then he turned to Clay and put his hand on his shoulder. Clay reached up and held Jax's hand. Jax held Clay for a moment before walking to the dining room door and turning to wait for Tara.

Tara stood, feeling so many emotions. She held Gemma's eyes before she went to Jax's side. He pulled her close and held her to him as they walked toward the door. He opened the door for Tara and paused. She waited outside the door for him. He reached for something, looked back at his mother and then followed Tara out the door.

He held Tara close and tensed. Tara realized he suddenly knew what had her so on edge about being in danger. It had struck the women. He looked around and put her in her car, then followed her home.