Title: Che Sarà, Sarà
26. Repose: To lay at rest.
"You knew…"
"…yes."
"You knew and didn't say a word?"
"Yes, sir."
"You signed my son's death warrant, L Lawliet, and didn't even say anything… not even to my own son. The one you 'supposedly' loved."
"Please, I didn't-"
"You didn't, what Lawliet? You didn't tell us your former obsessive stalker was out of prison? You didn't warn Raito of what could have happened to him, just being by your side? What if something had happened to the children, Lawliet? How do you think Raito would have felt, having to watch one of his own children go through this?!"
"I'm sorry… I'm just so sorry…"
"Sorry isn't going to bring my son back from that coma."
"No…"
Why didn't you say anything?
I just couldn't…
"And that's what makes this your fault, L. You didn't think, and in not doing that, you killed my son."
"What's the matter, L?" Raito's caramel brown eyes softened as the man's hand came up to caress his face. L had tears falling down his cheeks as he tilted his head towards the contact.
"This is different than the other times I've seen you…" Raito smiled as he nodded silently. "You've realized what it is that's holding you back."
L's lower lip quivered as he grasped Raito's form and held it tightly to his own. Watery obsidian eyes closed as L laid his head on Raito's bare shoulder. "It was my own mistake, and you're paying because of it."
"Lawliet…" Raito sighed in his ear.
"I should have told you that he was out of jail on parole! That he was free to do what he wanted! But I just… I thought that if I didn't even talk about it, maybe it would just… disappear." L hesitated as Raito leaned forward and held him back. "I didn't think he would hurt you, Raito."
"You just thought he would come after you? And that's ok?" Raito shook his head in exasperation. "You are such a martyr, you know that?"
L sniffled loudly.
"You didn't know Beyond was going to do this, L. Stop blaming yourself for trying to live in the present. Who can blame you for wanting to leave the shackles of the past behind you and build a new life?" L scoffed.
"And it's because I tried to live in the present that Raito-kun is not with me now." L ripped himself away from Raito's hold and stood apart from the other man's warm embrace. Sobs began to tear themselves from L's throat as the man was brought to his knees by the powerful onslaught of emotion he was finally letting himself feel. Shaky hands half-hazardly attempted to clutch at the smooth surface underneath them, but to no avail.
Raito quietly knelt next to the architect and silently watched him cry for a moment. Hands once again reached for L, this time grasping onto the man's face as they tried to wipe away the still running tears. L gazed up questioningly at his lover, trying to calm himself unsuccessfully.
"Raito-kun should hate me, especially in my own dreams."
Raito smiled at the remark, seemingly laughing it off without a thought.
"Well, that should show you just how much I love you… even from inside the recesses of your own mind." L's tears finally began to subside as Raito's slow caresses began to lull him away…
"You should rest, Lawliet. You haven't actually done so in such a long time."
"But, Raito-kun-"
"Rest, Lawliet. You've been carrying this blame for far too long… lay it to bed, L." Raito once again grabbed his lover and allowed him to lean his weight on top of him, as he pulled them both to the floor below them. "Let me carry these burdens for once, even if I'm not there when you wake…"
And for once, L slept fitfully for the rest of the night, no nightmares keeping him away from the land of dreams.
L stared down at Raito's unconscious form, simply watching. The children were not with him, all three at school. They had promised to come straight after school, not willing to let their father be alone for any amount of time with their comatose parent. L had simply nodded at their promises with a blank look on his face.
It was better this way. He would rather not them be here for what he was about to do.
"L-san?"
Raito's father, Dr. Kobayashi, entered the room as L buried his head further into his knees.
"I need to speak with you about Raito-kun…"
The doctor gazed solemnly at the broken man in front of him.
"Of course, L-san."
Continued in next installment...
Sneak Peak (at the word, anyways.):
Sequence: Series.
Hmm... I didn't even see that coming. Or maybe I did. o.o You will never know... unless I tell you. See ya next chapter.