Chapter 25

I honestly didn't think it through, at all. How was I supposed to tell him? I have never voluntarily told anyone in my entire life. We were out in the open, what if it didn't work out like I imagined in my head? What if he raised his voice? What if his mom heard us?

I could feel the panic coming, my heart racing and my breathing quicken. I couldn't tell him, there was no way. I needed him now, though, I needed him to know. I could feel that things were about to escalate, my mom was home of course they would. I needed him to find out from me before he found out himself, or even found me dead.

"Marly?"

I looked up into his concerned eyes, not knowing what to do or say. He was so eager, so ready for the truth, and yet he was nervous. I could feel all his emotions, I understood everything just from the look in his eyes.

My stomach felt all jumbled and I could feel the pain radiating from the gashes. I hadn't felt the pain all day. I laid a hand over my bandages, wincing.

"Is it your stomach?" Paul questioned, knowing full well that it wasn't what I had to talk to him about. Despite all the lies he knew I was telling, all the secrets I was keeping, he was still giving me an out. All he wanted was for me to be comfortable, even at his own expense.

"No."

I couldn't lie to him anymore. It was like I flipped a switch with that one word. I knew if I opened my mouth I would spill all of my haunting secrets to the beautiful man in front of me. I would confide in him and never stop.

And that scared the hell out of me.

I felt his hand wrap around mine and tears stung my eyes. I wasn't getting away with this anymore, today was the day I had to tell him.

"Come on," his voice was soft and so gentle. He stood slowly, as not to frighten me, tugging me gently by my hand. I followed him, confused.

He pulled me down a hall and to a door, which he opened while gesturing me inside.

If the rest of the house sort of smelled like Paul, this room was the one that definitely did. The lights were still off, but I had always been sensitive to smells and I could tell that this was Paul's room from a mile away.

The lights were switched on and there really wasn't much to see. He had a twin-mattress that no way in Hell he could actually fit on, a dresser shoved against the far wall underneath a particularly small window, and one lone poster from an action movie that came out years ago. The room was oddly clean, except for the small hamper next to the dresser that was overflowing with clothes.

Paul stood at the doorway as I stepped to the middle of his room, taking in my surroundings. The days have been going by so quickly since Halloween, I have barely felt them. Every moment seemed to reveal a new secret or discovery, the world hasn't stopped. But standing in the middle of Paul's room, everything seemed to stop. I was in his world right now, I was in his everyday. And it felt so right. Standing in the center of his room, everything felt so right.

I wasn't scared anymore.

I turned to face him, staring at him. He was leaned against his doorway, watching me closely. His eyes followed my every move, the tiniest of smiles on his lip. I could tell he was feeling just as I was, that everything was right.

I took a deep breath, gathering myself, closing my eyes slowly. I grabbed the hem of my thin long sleeve shirt and tugged upwards. The smoothest I've ever removed my shirt, throwing it to the ground beside me. I ran my fingers through my hair, tucking a couple strands behind my ear.

I opened my eyes slowly. Paul's eyes were wide, his mouth hung open the slightest bit. His eyes travelled down my body, then back up to my face. They showed his confusion, but they also showed a whole new emotion. Astonishment.

He stepped from the door frame, shutting it slightly behind him. He leaned against the door, his body rigid, seemingly scared to move from his spot against the door. I sighed slightly, closing my eyes for a second before meeting his gaze once more.

"Don't freak out."

I turned slowly so my back was facing him. I gathered my hair in one hand, pulling it from my neck and back and laying it over my shoulder. A soft gasp echoed through the room and the air changed. It was now a new kind of tense, even with my back turned I could feel Paul going through all different types of emotion.

I heard no sound, but all the sudden felt a soft touch trail down my spine. My whole body shivered, feeling his fingers trace the scars on my bare skin. My head lolled sideways, the touch chilling every nerve in my body.

"Who?" His whispered was so quiet and calm, and honestly the scariest he had ever sounded.

"My parents, technically. But mostly my mother."

I could feel his fingers shaking against my naked skin. I turned to face him, not feeling the least bit self conscious standing in front of him only in my bra and jeans. I took his hand in mine, meeting his eyes.

His face was stone, an indescribable rage burning through his beautiful eyes. He watched my face, waiting for something I couldn't place. Pain, fear, tears? But all he saw was strength. Strength I had never felt before.

"Why?"

I stared at him, not knowing the answer myself. I had always felt that in some way it was my fault, that I had been such an inconvenience that this is what I deserved. I was wrong.

"I don't know."

"How?"

"Belts, fists, stove, etcetera."

The shaking become stronger, jaw setting tighter. I could see him trying to put a plan together in his head. A plan he though would keep me safe.

"I am okay. I am safe."

And I believed my own words. I was no longer scared for myself. I felt complete, I felt secure. Paul was safe. I was safe. We were safe.

I pulled his hand up to my face and placed it against my cheek. His shaking hand trailed to the back of my head, running his fingers through my hair and down my neck. He pulled my body into his, holding me firm against his chest. His chin placed upon the top of my head, the shaking calming down to a small tremor. He sighed shakily and I could tell he was holding back tears. I hugged him closer, digging my face in his chest.

"You better be."