Chapter 26.
Hydra. I'm still in her arms. Isn't she with Steve? "Are you with Steve? Aren't we married?" I asked Natasha. She sighed slightly. "Clint when older you died. Our marriage was over. Till death do us apart. Steve will never replace the bond I had with you. You saved my life. I wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for you. But you're a kid and I can't be in a relationship with a kid. It's disgusting to even think about. Steve is a good guy and more like a friend but he'd also make a really good father." Natasha placed a hand over her bump. She's really getting big. I nodded, it makes sense I guess. Natasha blinked repeatedly, wiping a tear from her eye. "Why are you sad?" I hugged her tightly. "I miss my husband and partner and I fucking hate being pregnant. Stupid hormones" Natasha smiled as she cursed her hormones. "I'm sorry", was the only response I could think was appropriate. "I love you Clint and I always will but when you died I had to move on. It took a while for it to happen but it did". Natasha kissed my forehead. I frowned at her. I still don't like Steve. There's just one flaw to her theory.
"But I'm not dead though!" I snapped at her as I wiggled out of her arms and ran for anywhere that's not Natasha. I don't know this place. I wanna go home. I don't like hospitals. They're too strict and clean. I want my toys and books. I'm sick of watching movies all day long. I slowed down my pace to a stroll, it attracts less attention. I reached the main corridor to the hospital. I sighed with relief and the lack of rainbows and butterflies. Hospitals are not a happy place, no point in trying to make them feel like they are. I shuddered at all the memories of being brought in for all of my 'falls'.
"Are you lost sweetie?" A woman asked me. She looks friendly, I can't trust someone on just there looks though. "I'm not supposed to talk to strangers" I repeated the nonsense line I'd heard on the tv a thousand times. My parents never told me such things. "I'm a doctor though so you can trust me", she showed me her badge and gave me another friendly smile. I shook my head and tried to walk away but she held me back. Not too tight but enough to stop me going anywhere. "What's your name?" She asked me. I'm sick of being good. "Clint" I mumbled still trying to get my hand free. "Where's your mom Clint?" She asked me as she let go of my hand. "Dead" I felt my cheeks heating up and tears building in my eyes waiting to escape. Men don't cry. I wasn't allowed cry at moms funeral. Barney kept hitting me every time I did. Kept telling me that men don't cry, that we have to be men now that we're on our own. "There's my foster mom", I pointed at a random woman and ran while the doctor looked the other way. I felt someone pull on my hood as I ran past, stopping me. I looked up to see Tony frowning at me. "Why did you run Clint" Tony questioned me. I shrugged. I ran because I almost told Natasha that I remember Hydra. I can't ever tell her. Tony let it slide. He took my hand and led me back to my hospital bed. "You're going home today. You'll get to see the new avengers facility." Tony smiled as he told me. I grinned, finally that's all I wanted.
Natasha still had red marks on her cheeks when we came in. She had packed up all my stuff. I grabbed the food schedule and put it in the bin. "Nice try kiddo but we have plenty more where that came from", Tony laughed at my attempt to get rid of that awful food plan.
Tony and Natasha's phones buzzed at the same time. Tony sighed and glanced at me. I know that look my now. They have a mission. "Can I stay with Pepper?" I asked them. Natasha nodded, "yes, I don't think there is anywhere else really. Phil has is own team and missions to sort out".
We diverted to Stark industries. "The press are going to have a field day seeing you with Pepper", Tony said with a slight nervous laugh. Knowing it would be Pepper left to clean it up. Tony pulled up in a more secretive location. I got out with Tony and held his hand as he let me to the lift. "I don't have time to go up with you Clint, Pepper will be right there waiting for you once the lift opens. Don't worry about anyone else coming into the lift. Only Pepper and I have access to the lift", Tony instructed me as he pressed the highest number on the lift controls. "Okay", I smiled as I hugged him. It's only a week till Christmas. "I hope we're home before Christmas, I'm going to spoil you kiddo", Tony grinned as he kissed my forehead. I grinned. "Can't wait", I replied as the lift closed.
Pepper was waiting for me as the lift opened. She bent down to my level, "anyone asks you're my nephew and they're going to ask". She stood back up and took my hand leading me to her office. I glanced back towards the lift. I never said bye to Natasha. "I know I hate when they have to suddenly take off too", Pepper rubbed her thumb over the back of my hand. I smiled up at her. "Who is this?" A lady with red hair asked Pepper. "Donna this is Clint Potts. My nephew. He's spending Christmas with us", Pepper responded to her. "Clint say hi", Pepper reminded me to be polite. "Hi Donna", I smiled at her and gave her a small wave. "Aww he's so cute. How old are you?" She asked me. I held up 8 fingers as I told her my age. "Can you stay with him for a sec? I need a coffee" Pepper asked her. Donna smiled and nodded to Pepper. "Are you enjoying the Christmas break?" Donna asked me. I giggled and nodded. "Are you excited for Christmas? What's Santa bringing you?" Donna asked me another question. Santa isn't real. Do 8 year olds believe in Santa? "Uncle Tony and Aunt Pepper are getting me presents. Not Santa. I haven't asked him for anything", I told her. Donna smiled sympathetically at me. "That's okay, I'm sure Tony and Pepper will spoil you anyways". Pepper returned with a cup of coffee in her hand, "Thanks Donna". Donna smiled and got back to her work.
"Pepper, is Santa coming to me? Donna asked me but I said he wasn't because I didn't ask him for anything. She looked slightly shocked." I pondered to her. Pepper smiled at me, "you have to write him a letter and he'll bring you what you ask for". I frowned slightly, sitting down opposite her desk. "But he's not real", I wish there was a Santa. "I used to write to him but he never brought anything. Dad said he wasn't real. Then he.." I stopped myself, feeling a shiver coming over me. Pepper doesn't want to know. Pepper got up and sat down beside me. "Well that's not going to happen this year", I climbed into her lap as she continued talking, "Tony and I are going to spoil you as if you were our own child. You deserve it. We have to make up for lost Christmases". Pepper gave me a sheet of paper and a pencil. "Draw a picture". I pouted, I'm not a baby.
"Here you go", I said as I handed my picture to her. "It's a design for a garden for the new house we're moving into", I pointed out what everything was. "And what's that?" Pepper asked pointing to the corner of the picture. "Lucky", I smiled, "my dog. I mean if I had a dog. I'd name him Lucky". Pepper gave me that smile saying you're not getting a dog. "That's very nice. Clint I have a lot of work to do. You're going to have to find something to do and not distract me. If you're hungry there is food in the mini fridge", Pepper had a lot of planning for something called the Maria Stark Foundation. I sighed and sat down opposite her. I watched the spiny thing on her desk go around for a while. I looked around her office, smiling when I found a book. It's an accountancy book but it's something.
"It's Christmas Eve, are you excited for tomorrow Clint?" Pepper asked me as she gently woke me up. We were staying in her apartment beside Stark Industries. I groaned, "it's only 5am". Pepper is dressed in a grey professional dress and 6 inch heels already. Her hair and makeup was already done as well. "We have to go to the office, we'll be back by 4 I promise", Pepper said as she picked out my clothes and helped me get dressed. Pepper took my top off and gasped slightly. "What's wrong?" I whispered, still half asleep. "Nothing it's fine", Pepper reassured me. "You can get into your pants yourself", Pepper told me. I took them into the bathroom with me.
"Clint?" Pepper called to me. I blinked repeatedly. "Mmm" I mumbled, still half asleep. "Breakfast is on the table". I ate breakfast and fell back asleep in the car. I followed Pepper up to her office. The team still hadn't came home yet. They left very urgently. I sat down watching out side for a while, before getting up and taking a piece of paper from Peppers desk. "Is it too late to write a letter to Santa? He brings you whatever you wish for right?" I glanced at the clock as I asked her. It's 2 o clock. "No it's not too late", Pepper smiled at me. I took a pen and wrote a letter to Santa.
Dear Santa,
I wish for my family to be home for Christmas.
From Clint Barton.
"Here", I handed Pepper the letter. I know he's not real but it's the hope I need. I miss Natasha and everyone else. Pepper read my letter, she got a tissue and wiped her eyes. "I miss them to Clint", Pepper pulled me into a hug. I hugged her back, holding back tears. It felt good to get a hug. Pepper doesn't hug me as much as Natasha does. She has a lot of work to do all the time. "Can I call Natasha?" I asked her although I already know the answer. She shook her head. "I'll call Maria, she might have an idea of when they'll be home", Pepper took up her phone and made the call.
"Clint I'm sorry. It's going to be at least another 2 weeks before they get home", Pepper informed me. I nodded, "okay". I hate Santa. Stupid childish ideas. I pulled away and sulked on the couch.
"It's time for bed Clint", Pepper told me after my bath. I shrugged, "whatever". I crawled under the blankets. I hid my tears from Pepper. I want Tasha. Men don't cry, men don't cry men don't cry.
I ran downstairs with Barney. "I hope I got the Legos I asked for", I squealed with excitement. We charged into the sitting room only to find dad passed out. He woke up from us barging in. "Clint run", Barney warned me. Where's our presents? It's Christmas. Dad threw me against the door frame, I slipped on a his hat that he dropped on the floor when he came in. I felt a kick to the stomach before waking up in hospital.
"Clint can you hear us?" I heard a nurse ask me. I looked at her. "Yeah", I can hear her. Mom was crying and Barney looked fed up of being here. I'm going to be in more trouble for having to go to hospital.
"Get in", dad screamed as he shoved me into the box. I screamed, "no..no..please..no..please dad no..s..s. please don't close it". Dad only laughed. "You useless piece of shit".
"Clint..Clint wake up. Clint you're safe", Pepper rubbed my back as she woke me up. I can't breath. It's too dark in here. I could feel myself shaking. I looked up at Pepper with eyes filled with terror. I reached up and gave her a panicky hug. "I'm scared", she already knows that but I feel the need to say it out loud. Pepper wrapped her arms around me and ran a hand through my hair. "Pepper...roof", I took in deep shaky breaths. "I don't have access to the roof Clint", Pepper apologised to me. No, I need to go to the roof. "Tasha. I want Tasha", I yawned in between tears. "I'm sorry Clint. We can't call her," Pepper to,d me as she stood up to turn on the lights. I blinked at how bright it was. It helped slightly though. "I'm afraid of the dark", I confessed to her. "What about it scares you?" Pepper asked me, encouraging me to talk. "The inherent absence of light", I smiled a little. I listened to Peppers heartbeat. The constant sound is relaxing.
"Let's go downstairs", Pepper suggested when I calmed down enough to not have a panic attack at any given minute. "Okay", I tried to forget how similar this is to my dream. My mouth dropped at the amount of presents. I opened them one by one with a grin never leaving my face. There's even a bike and a flat screen tv. I thanked Pepper for each present.
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