And yet…she lost her nerve for some reason.

'Maybe I will learn to love that idiot.' She told herself.

As she was walking to tell Yuna the wedding was off, a thought crept into her mind.

'But if I don't do that, maybe I'll never find anyone for me. I know Yuna is not the ideal man, but maybe, just maybe I can learn to love him, If I try harder, I know I can, or at least I will get used to him being by my side. It will be stupid of me to throw this wedding.'

And it was because of that thought that the wedding plans were still strong.

She tried not to think about her imminent future as the wife on Yuna Roma Seiran, she couldn't think of what it would be like to wake up to him very morning, and then because of all those mixed and jumbled thoughts, she once again made a wrong decision.

Yuna was not any woman's ideal man, but he had money, so even if he was scum, he still had girls all over him.

He liked women, and Cagalli knew that too.

In reality, she was too boyish for him, and he only wanted her for her position, and Cagalli knew that too, and then she had an idea.

'I need to know if I could do this the rest of my life.' She told herself, and that is why in the middle of all those wedding plans, she decided to give herself to Yuna before the wedding.

Kira was going to be gone for two weeks to visit Lacus over at PLANTs, so she didn't have to worry about he interfering.

The other people at the palace were easier to control.

The day Kira left for PLANTs Cagalli dressed herself as much as she could as a man and headed into town to buy some provoking lingerie.

She needed to know if she could handle Yuna touching her, and she would try for two whole weeks to have him come onto her every night, or however many times he'd like.

It was a necessary evil. It was all in the name of her country. That was the reason she was marrying. Or at least that was what she tried to convince herself about.

She finally reached her destination, 'Again I ask myself, what am I doing here?' but that wasn't enough to deter her as with one last deep sigh she proceeded to enter the place.

Immediately there was an assistant by her side.

"What can I help you with?" she asked.

She turned to look at the assistant, "Um…yeah…can I see the most…um provocative items you own?" she finally managed to say.

"Sure, right this way. So is it for your girlfriend, or wife?" the girl asked.

"Um…girlfriend?" she said uncertainly, at least they thought she was a guy.

She stood surrounded by things that couldn't possibly be called clothing, since they really covered nothing, and she thought, "What kind of 'clothing' would interest Yuna?'

Finally after much rummaging she took what she found Yuna would enjoy the most an almost ran out of there.

'This better work since I just wasted a lot of money on this!' she thought angrily as she entered the palace quickly.

Once she reached her room she locked the door and spread all of her load on her bed.

Which one to use for that night?

Finally after much thinking and many urges to vomit, she decided on a red motif for the first night.

'Oh god, help me.' She thought to herself as she left the bath and proceeded to dress herself with all that lingerie.

It was already eleven at night and the palace was quiet when she left the safety of her room and headed towards Yuna's.

She was feeling so uncomfortable, the so-called clothes were uncomfortable, she wanted to run away and forget about her crazy ideas, but it was too late. Just as she was turning to leave, she heard footsteps coming down the hallway. There was no time for her to get to her room without being noticed, so she had no option but to open Yuna's door and slip in.

She felt like a deer trapped in headlights as she stood up against the wall, waiting to hear the guard's steps die away so she could exit the room, but just as she was about to leave, Yuna woke up.

"Cagalli?" he asked a bit incredulously as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. It was true; Cagalli was standing by his door wearing red lingerie.

"What the…?"He asked, as she stood there petrified.

"Oh Yuna!" she exclaimed, regaining some of her composure.

"Cagalli, what are you doing here?" he asked, a bit confused.

"I…I just couldn't wait until our wedding to be yours, and since Kira will be gone for the next two weeks I decided this was the best time to do this!"

He was more than a little surprised to hear that. He'd never thought of Cagalli as much of a girl, but there she was, literally throwing herself at him, wearing nothing more than some red lingerie. He couldn't refuse that. No way. It didn't even matter to him if what she said was true or not, if she wanted to have sex with him that bad, he would grant her wish.

She didn't even need to play seduction because before she could even react, he had thrown her on his bed and was furiously clawing at her like a hungry beast.

Cagalli was like a rag doll, not reacting to his touch, his kisses, but he seemed not to care.

Cagalli was better looking than he had given her credit for.

In a matter of minutes he had Cagalli naked under him, and was ready to enter her, but it was then that Cagalli put some resistance.

But once again he seemed not to care, as just as easily he spread her legs and finally consummated the act.

It hurt.

She hadn't had sex for two years, and it hurt, but it wasn't the physical pain the one the brought the tears out; it was the emotional one.

She couldn't do it.

She couldn't.

His touch incited no emotion from her body, all it did was repulse her, and yet, the next night she was in the same position.

And this went on for the two weeks that Kira was gone, and still, something had not changed.

She would never love Yuna.

Uh oh..she's back to her old self destructive ways…or not…don't worry…she won't stray from the right path 4 too long…