26. It's Called Exposure

Alex is frozen where he stands and though the lights are on, darkness embraces him. He's numb. For all his faults and all the wrong turns he's made in trying to protect Mike, he's never been heartless. And now he knows Mike must hate him. So, there he stands, alone in his empty hotel room, finally succeeding in driving Mike away once and for all, and feeling like a failure in doing so.

The state of shock he's drowning in pulls him further from the surface until a knock at the door pulls him up from the depths of his self-inflicted despair. He rushes to the door, his mind racing with everything he should have said to Mike - how he's the only one who can make him truly happy, et cetera, et cetera, fucking et cetera. He vows to tell the guy the whole truth when he sees him standing there willing to give him yet another chance he knows he doesn't deserve.

"Surprise!" Eliese shrieks, and the irony of this moment makes Alex feel like vomiting. "Well, aren't you gonna invite me in?"

Alex opens the door as far as it will go and squeezes past Eliese as if she isn't there. Peeks his head around the corner to see if Mike's still around. He sees the guy stepping into the elevator and then he's gone.

"I just saw your friend in the hall," the oblivious woman says. "I said hi to him but I don't think he heard me. Dude looks like he just got hit by a Mack truck so I guess I can't blame him. Did you two-"

"What are you doing here?"

"Well, I know you're going home for Thanksgiving in a couple days so I wanted to surprise you before you leave." Eliese grabs Alex and pulls him down into a kiss, her tongue breaching the barrier of resistant lips. "I thought we could grab a bite to eat…and then we could come back here and…" her voice trails off as she starts grasping at Alex's shirt, hardly disguising her intentions.

Alex grabs his girlfriend's busy hands, so small compared to Mike's. "I really can't eat right now."

This persistent woman is the last person Alex wants to see and he hopes she's right - that Mike didn't hear her when they crossed paths. What he said to the man he silently claims to love was abhorrent, but if he would've seen Eliese on top of that, it would be so much worse and that's something that shouldn't be possible. Thinking about Mike leads him to relive the entire confrontation over in his mind - what he said, what he should have said, what he should have done. Regrets stack one on top of the other. All of which are variations of the same mistake and if it wasn't for his misguided attempts at what could only be compared to martyrdom, he'd be in bed right now with the man he tries so hard to protect and suddenly he realizes that he is in bed, but it's not with Mike.

Eliese has mounted him.

Alex is shirtless and pinned beneath his girlfriend's petite frame. His unwelcome pursuer clad in only her bra and barely enough material to be identified as panties.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" she asks seductively, reaching down to his groin, groping him through tight jeans.

Alex grabs hold of Eliese's delicate wrist. He's so furious - at her, at himself – that he doesn't concern himself with her feelings. "Get off."

"That's what I'm trying to do."

Alex doesn't think she's funny in the least. "What part of this situation tonight told you I wanted to fuck?"

"What part of any situation tells me you want to fuck?"

Insulted and feeling violated and humiliated, Alex slides out from underneath her, leading her off the bed.

"You're like a fucking monk!"

Alex points to the door. "Just put your clothes on and leave."

Eliese snatches her clothes from the floor. "You're unbelievable. Is it a crime to want to have sex with my boyfriend?"

Alex shakes his head in disbelief. "I don't need this right now," he mutters through gritted teeth, wide-eyed and stunned that his life is so fucked up.

"So that's it then?" The question is purposely rhetorical, but Eliese waits for an answer anyway. When Alex doesn't acknowledge that she's said anything at all, she goes off on him. "Man, you've got serious issues. What kind of guy, what kind of good looking, successful guy," she says pushing his chest, embarrassed, offended, "doesn't want to get laid by this?" The irate beauty emphasizes the point by running her hand in front of her attractive body as if she were on display. "I don't even think girls wait as long as you these days."

"That's enough!"

"You think I'm stupid, but I always knew you were stuck on someone else. I was right here waiting…more than willing to take your mind off her but you would never let me, you fucking asshole!"

Alex looks to Eliese curiously. One, he's never heard her use such profanity before and two, her?

"She used to work with you, didn't she? Before they fired her ass." She nods assuming she's right, trying to coax an admission from Alex, like it'll vindicate her verbal abuse of the guy.

There it is again, a reference to a female. "What are you talking about?"

"There's no point denying it, Alex. I know you're hung up on that French chick. Maryse, is it? Is that why Mike was all out of sorts in the hall? Did he just find out? Dude can't be that clueless. It was so obvious you were hot for her!"

The expression on Alex's face is one of great disdain. The thought of Maryse sickens him.

Eliese is quick though. She picks up on the way her accusations vehemently disagree with her boyfriend and after a few seconds of confusion, it hits her. "Oh my God," she says, her epiphany suddenly making everything so clear. She looks back to the door and then to Alex again. "I always thought she was the one you were pining after. I mean, you even said her fucking name…But she wasn't, was she?"

"Eliese," Alex warns sternly.

"You weren't looking at her the night we met, you were looking at him." Eliese seems quite satisfied with herself for piecing the puzzle together. "It's Mike."

Alex shakes his head, trying to deny it but his eyes can't lie, not this time.

Eliese chuckles. "You're even more pathetic than I thought."

Alex sighs, feeling queasy. "Alright, you've had your fun. Can you please leave now?"

"So, if you're so in love with him, why'd he look like he'd just taken the beating of his life? What the hell did you do to him?"

Alex folds his arms across his chest, remains silent. Doesn't understand why she feels such an affinity towards Mike all of a sudden, although it's nice to know someone does.

"Goddamn, not only pathetic but stupid, too."

All too true, but Alex would never own up to it, not to her. Never would give her that kind of additional satisfaction. He glares at her, wondering why she hasn't left yet.

"So, am I the only one who knows then?" she asks, oddly fascinated by her newfound knowledge.

Alex realizes he has a choice. He could continue alienating the prying woman and risk her seeking revenge and outing him to the world or he could cool off and if he's lucky, secure her confidence in the matter. His pride wants to send her packing but he's not making this decision solely for himself. This is for Mike, too. Perhaps he can do one thing right in his life. "Pretty much," he admits, sourly.

Alex pulls out a chair and collapses into it. Eliese sits down as well. Looks at the shell of a man next to her. For a moment she wishes someone would be as equally distraught over her; thought Alex could have been that special someone, but that'll never happen now. Maybe it was just his looks that attracted her to him because when she makes her way through the humiliation of being rejected, it really doesn't hurt that much. Certainly nowhere near the hurt Alex is emoting. And this just makes her feel sorry for him.

"Listen," she says, her attitude much more palatable. "You can fix it."

Alex scoffs, rolling his watery eyes as he glances away. "You don't even know what happened."

Eliese takes a moment as she approaches the line. "You could tell me."

Alex looks back to Eliese. Her features soft and inviting. There's the compassionate girl he could have been friends with. A girl he could have gone to for advice and he's half-tempted to tell her everything but the unfortunate truth is, he doesn't feel like he can trust her. And more than that, he knows he doesn't deserve her trust, not after using her the way he did so he just looks away again. Overtaken by shame.

Eliese purses her lips. "Fine. You don't want to talk to me. I get it. But you should really talk to someone because you're about to bury yourself alive."

I already have.