As promised, here's the first chapter of book three! I've turned over a bit of a new leaf and all your kind words and reviews have just spurred me on with writing. I'm so glad you're enjoying it! I'm completely loving writing about Lola and Soap and their crazy little romance and reading all of critiques is just helping me make this a better story. i have the whole thing plotted out in my head, it's just finding the time to actually sit down in front of my laptop and type it all out but i am going to make a real effort to give you a new chapter once a fortnight. That seems fair, doesn't it?

Anyway, have a good read and make sure you let me know what you think!

Big kisses xxx

Look.

I had tried to stay away from him.

I really had.

There had been a part of me that had been glad when Price had shipped me off to Mother Russia for eight weeks. Not the part of me that found Kamarov to be one of the most infuriating men alive, no no... that part was pretty angry but the other part of me, the part of me that had felt an undeniable shift in my feelings towards Soap while we were onboard that stupid bloody freighter in the middle of the Bering Strait? That part had been relieved.

He knew it. Of course he did. I had replayed the moment when I thought I had lost him over and over again in my head. I had heard my own voice. That grief, panic stricken voice. I didn't even sound like me. But I was. I was still me. The only difference was that for a split second, I genuinely couldn't conceive or process the idea that he wasn't going to get off that ship with me. And it had hurt. It had hurt like a mother fucking bitch. The SAS had done a pretty good job of hardening my heart up. You could only do this job - this crazy, crazy job - if you found that little switch inside your brain that cut off all your emotions. After the death of my parents, I had needed to find that switch. I had needed to build that wall up. Except within six months of meeting him, Soap had finally broken through. I didn't even know if that had been his intention but it had happened. The realisation had hit me like a bullet.

I suspect that Price had been alerted to my feelings. That's why he shipped me off. I understood his line of thought. Nip the problem in the bud. Get me the hell out of dodge and pray that the feelings that I had for Soap that had made me hysterical would subside and to be fair to the Captain, I had hoped the same. I had meant what I'd said to Soap last night. The SAS was my home and the boys around me were my family. I didn't want to jeopardise that. I really, honestly didn't.

But God Damn the man looked good in a tux.

Vagina meltingly good.

I had spotted him in the ballroom and any efforts that I had made to build that wall right back up just vanished.

I had been attracted to him from the off. I'd never been aware that I was attracted to a particular type of man. My ex-boyfriends didn't follow a set pattern of looks or attributes. Tristan had been dark haired, tanned, my first boyfriend had been blonde and pale skinned. But the minute that I clapped eyes on Soap, it was like a siren went off in my head. It was a siren that screamed at me, 'THIS IS IT! THIS IS YOUR TYPE! GO AND KISS HIM!'.

It wasn't just that he was tall with these thick broad shoulders that I wanted to sink my nails into or that he had the most perfectly defined chest and abs that I had ever seen. And it certainly wasn't the dark smattering of hair that ran from underneath his bellybutton to the waistband of his boxers (although that did reduce me to a pool of oestrogen n every time I saw it) or the clear blue eyes or the ridiculously sexy hair. No. That was all just icing on the cake. A very handsome, muscly cake that I wanted to devour whole. No. my attraction to Soap was more than that. It was in the way that he made me laugh. It was the feeling that I got whenever we were next to one another, that this man, this wonderful, gorgeous man was a part of me. I couldn't explain how he had managed it. But he had and that was all that mattered.

So I'd bit the bullet. I'd gone against Price's number one rule.

And I had been rewarded with the best sex of my life.

Three times.

Looking at Soap, I hadn't supposed that the sex would be phenomenal. You can never tell how it's going to be until you're right there in the moment and you're sighing because he didn't even manage to get you off but is silently congratulating himself as though he is the master of the sex universe thanks to your skill at faking it. We've all been there. It's frustrating. Looking back, I understood why things had been off with Tristan, given that he was a closest gay man, but the three men that I'd slept with before him had never managed it either. Not that they hadn't tried but every time that I had offered my advice on what exactly would get me to that magical 'o', they'd take offence. It's not that I was insinuating that they were bad in bed, but every girls body is different. Just because one girl liked you making a weird kazoo noise while you were going down on her, didn't mean that it worked on me.

But with Soap... It had clicked. Everything had just worked. He hadn't needed my guidance. Not that I'm sure I'd have been able to give it. I lost count after the eighth orgasm. Mostly because my brain could no longer function.

There were no weird tricks or noises or insane sex positions that involved me being upside down with my hands behind my back whilst also at a right angle making sure that my knees were bent and my arms straight or whatever the karma sutra will have you believe is the easiest way to orgasm.

It was just good old fashioned fucking. No bells and whistles.

That's the big secret.

I can't pretend that the hour he spent with his face buried between my legs didn't help because it really, really did, but it was the simplicity of the whole thing that really got me. It was two people giving into the most natural, animalistic desires that the human body is capable of and having a really good time.

After the third time, when the first signs of the morning light had begun to stream in through the huge bay windows of the suite and we had finished with me sat up in his lap, my arms around his neck, grinding him deeper and deeper inside of me while he had used one hand to press our bodies together while the other one caressed my boobs, pinching and tweaking my nipples before we had passed out, I had remembered him pulling me close and pressing his lips against the base of my neck. I had drifted to sleep with a smile on my face.

We both knew that it was never going to happen again. In my private suite at The Berkeley it was simple enough. Price was unconscious and the rest of the lads were presumably having the time of their lives so nobody really cared about what Soap and I were doing, but back in the barracks and out on missions, it would be far too difficult. I was fine with that and from the way we had fucked, I imagine that Soap was too. We'd gorged ourselves on one another, knowing full well that it was to be the last sex that either of us had for a very long time. At least a year for him if he planned on following Wallcroft's lead at next years ball and for me, the remainder of my time spent serving with the SAS. I'd broken Price's rule once and that was as far as I was willing to push it.

But still, when I had finally woken up to find the huge king sized bed completely devoid of another human being, there had been a knot in my stomach. I understood the need for secrecy and he was only doing me a favour by slipping out before anybody noticed that he was missing, but still, he could have said bye. It was almost as if he had never been there.

I pushed the sheets from my body and climbed from the luxurious bed. I needed water. My throat was dry and scratchy. I wasn't hungover thanks to Wallcroft and his Batman dash back to the hotel from KoKo but my body was protesting at the overexertion. I padded over to the large wardrobe and pulled a clean pair of knickers from my bag. Slipping them on over my thighs, I noticed that my white dress, the one that I had worn last night had been hung up and my shoes which had been discarded in the lounge had also miraculously found their way into the shoe rack. I pulled a face, eyeing the garments curiously while pulling on a discarded jumper before turning towards the bedroom door. The suite was huge. It had its own kitchen, a lounge, a study, a dining room and the most enormous bathroom I had ever seen with the most gorgeous copper bath and waterfall shower. I thought about the shower now. I'd have a drink, get a shower and then walk down the small cafe at the end of the road. It was a place that Charlotte, Steve and I had used to frequent as students and I always made sure to visit the day after the SAS dinner. I padded across the lounge and into the state of the art white kitchen before filling a pint glass with water and ice from the system that was built into the fridge. Turning back towards the lounge, I jumped.

"Morning." Soap sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He blinked at me before covering his eyes with his left hand. "You know you've got no pants on, don't you?"

I narrowed my eyes at him before surveying his surroundings. He had set up a bed on one of the couches. Why hadn't he just slept with me? I'm sure the couches were comfy but did anything beat the comfort of a king size bed?

"What are you doing out here?" I asked him, pulling my jumper further down my legs. He moved his hand away from his eyes.

"Oh, you don't remember?"

I shook my head. It had been a while since I had slept next to another person. Maybe I had kicked him in my life. Or maybe I snored? I remember that Steve had once commented on my sleep talking. Maybe that was it?

"You told me I could spend the night on the couch as my room was being used as Wallcroft's makeshift sex dungeon."

He looked up at me earnestly. I stared back at him.

"I did?"

He nodded and looked at me pointedly. "You were quite drunk so you probably don't remember much. You offered me the couch and then went straight into your room and passed out."

I know I had quite the overactive imagination but I'm pretty sure I didn't just imagine that Soap and I had slept together. Was he... was he trying to trick me? I thought about my dress and shoes hanging in the wardrobe. The sneaky little bastard was covering his tracks.

"If it helps, I don't remember much after we left here to go to KoKo. That shot you gave me must have gone straight to my head."

Was he fucking kidding? I frowned at him and we stared at one another in silence.

"So I just let you stay here and then I went to bed?" I asked. "Alone?"

He nodded.

Christ. I wasn't expecting us to sit around and gab about what had happened last night but I also hadn't expected him to completely deny it. I took a sip of my water. If that was how he wanted to play it, then fine, that's how we'd play it.

"You're right." I shrugged. "I don't remember a thing." I glared at him. "Must have been a terrible night."

He gave me a look. "Probably."

I drained the glass of water and stared at him.

"Look, I'm starving. There's a little cafe at the end of the road, they do a good breakfast so I'm going to go there and get something to eat." I rinsed the glass out and put it in the sink. "You're welcome to tag along."

He nodded. "What about the lads? I need to go to my room and get some clean clothes so I can invite them?"

Was I that terrible that he didn't even want to spend time alone with me?

I gave him a small laugh. "If you think those lads are going to let the small matter of breakfast stop them from the absolute sex fest that is currently going on in your room, then you really don't know them very well."

He pulled a face. "What time do we have to be out?" He looked down at his watch. "It's already eleven now."

"We don't have to be out until five." I looked at him. "Price will still be sleeping off the two bottles of scotch that he got through last night and then he has a meeting with all of the donors to discuss exactly what we need and when we need it." I smirked. "So it's just you and me." I looked at him. "I usually stay here until about three and watch a film before I go and pick up Gaz."

If he was going to deny having sex with me then I was going to make him suffer.

He started. "Pick up Gaz from where?"

"You didn't notice that he wasn't here last night?"

The expression on his face said that he hadn't. Probably because he had been too busy trying to work his way into my knickers. I glared at him. "Price gives him the night off so he can see his family. I go and pick him up and spend some time with them before we head back to Credenhill."

"You spend time with his family?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes Soap, I stayed with Gaz and his wife at their house while Gaz was getting me ready for selection. Price gave him three months off." I sighed loudly. "You know all of this."

Maybe he did, maybe he didn't but I was getting tired of the conversation and him and his butter wouldn't melt attitude. We had slept together. I had broken Price's rule for him. And he was going to sit there and attempt to deny it? No. That wasn't how this was going to work. I'd make him admit to it if it was the last thing I did.

"I'm going to have a quick shower and get ready. You go and get your clothes and if you want to come with me for some breakfast, you can. You can leave the door on the latch so you can come back in and wait for me." I narrowed my eyes. "Here. In the lounge. Where you slept all night. Alone."

He stared at me coolly. "Good plan."

"Off you go then." There was a icy quality to my voice that I hadn't heard in a long time. It was a tone that I usually reserved for George but given the current circumstances, I felt it necessary to unleash it upon Soap.

He opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, before closing it quickly. I raised an eyebrow at him. It was a silent challenge and he knew it. Go on, speak your mind, say what you've got to say.

He shook his head and began to gather his things.

"Twenty minutes?" He asked.

I folded my arms across my chest and nodded at him. "That's what I said."

And with a sigh he was gone.

After last night it was hardly the way that I'd expected to start my day but if Soap MacTavish thought he was going to get away with denying what had happened between us, then he really didn't know me very well.