"How do you know when it's over?"
"Maybe when you feel more in love with your memories than with the person standing in front of you."
― Gunnar Ardelius, I Need You More Than I Love You and I Love You to Bits
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Island 1
Days 1-120: Mike
I lost Rosita in those first 120 days due to my mandatory mourning. Don't get me wrong, I was grieving Michonne. I did love her. A part of me still does. Always. It's just, Rosita felt that if I really loved her my grief for Michonne should have been two weeks minimum or maximum 30 days.
Rosita was pissed enough to abort our baby.
The affair with Rosita didn't just happen. I actively pursued her. We worked together. We ate lunch together. I would tell her things and we just grew close. I wanted Rosita and being married did not stop me. Looking back I gave Rosita a narrative that Michonne was a bitch, that she would actively withhold sex because I didn't put the toilet seat down...Things don't just happen no matter how much we tell ourselves. One is always actively seeking, pursuing, and it was me.
Granny Mabel practically moved in to the home. Sorting through Michonne's things. What should be kept and what should be tossed. I wasn't very helpful. Granny Mabel had a storage unit delivered and hired a couple of people she knew well enough to pack things in nice and neat. I think it was Herschel and Zach. That time for whatever reason was a fog to me.
I do know that Granny Mabel did not believe Michonne was dead. I thought Granny was in denial. Granny Mabel said that if Michonne was truly dead she would have felt it the moment God took her. She would have felt it in the core of her very being. She said, she had continued to say, her Grandbaby was out there and she would do everything in her power, with the help of GOD to get her back.
I didn't believe in a God at that time and Granny Mabel knew it. It was a bone of contention between us. Since I didn't believe Granny Mabel said the baseball bat was anointed with the spirit of GOD and if I answered one more GOD Damn Call from Rosita she would knock all the fucks out of me. All done in Jesus name.
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Island 2:
Day: 1- 120: Lori
My mother was very instrumental with helping me keep my sanity. What little I had at the time. I missed Rick. He was such a wonderful husband. I couldn't help think about the babies we planned to have that would never happen now. The family we envisioned together. I would quit my job at the Go Stop insurance and become a housewife and a stay at home mother.
We had so many dreams and hopes. So many plans...Sorry I need a second...
I returned back to work after 30days. I had too. I couldn't get sucked in to being immobile. I confided a lot in Spencer. Spencer was a big help in getting me through those days. We worked together. We had lunch together. He listened. He was such a good friend.
I don't know when I actually started seeing Spencer differently. I think it was in that third month when I became self deprecating and he said I was beautiful.
Spencer said I was beautiful...
Rick never called me beautiful. Rick has said I was pretty. He never called me beautiful.
At first I didn't believe Spencer. I thought he needed glasses but he was insistent that I was beautiful. I began seeking these compliments out. Not just from him but others. Beautiful. Negan, a car salesman at the dealership that I purchased a new car from after the dust settled even said I was gorgeous...
Beautiful and Gorgeous reawakened me. I was no longer just pretty.
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"I must say, I like you. I think you will do fine by my grandbaby. I know it's early. Two weeks-but I see how you are with Michonne and your daughters...Plus I didn't have to grab my bat not once so far. I say so far so good." Granny Mabel was pruning her rose hedges that lined the bottom of her front porch while Rick stood on the top step watching her at work.
"Your bat?" Rick asked his eyebrow arched.
"Yes. I can't carry a gun anymore. Don't mean I don't have one...but there is no law that says I can't carry a baseball bat. I had to pull a gun on that husband of hers' a many a times. More times than Michonne knows about. I can look in a man's eyes and know instantly if he is full of shit...I don't know why women are breeding these trifling men. If your not going to raise these boys to be about something...honorable then why not just flush them bastards down the toilet, I says."
Rick nodded. He was unsure how to respond to Granny Mabel most of the time. Not sure what to do with half the things she would say at random but he was going to do what Michonne warned him about on the island, 'You better listen to Granny Mabel when she is talking. Don't ask too many questions because she can gauge ignorance and then it would be an hour tangent about nothing that relates to nothing in particular.' "I was thinking I need to talk with Lori about divorcing."
Granny Mabel nodded.
"I called her to set up a time so we could talk."
"What you telling me for...you need me to come along with my Bat?"
"No, Granny Mabel. I just want to know if I am wrong for wanting to ask for the divorce face to face. Michonne seems to think I should send a document by certified mail."
"You do what you need to do. Closure is important. Without it you just wasting my Grandbaby's time."
"Granny Mabel...I already closed that door when we first arrived back and..."
"That shit wasn't closure...That was sensory overload."