045 Truth

It had taken Kat forever to get a chance to be alone with Carter. He was avoiding it like the plague. He'd even started addressing her as Lieutenant Commander rather than Kat. They had been the worst days of her life. Every time he looked at her she could see that hurt and angry look in his eyes. She had been forced to wait until they were removing his armor and then request the technicians to leave. She'd had to lock the door and stand in the way to get him to stay. This is where they now stood, with Carter trying to leave while Kat stood in the way.

Carter clenched his fists. "Stand down, Soldier."

"No, I will not move until you talk to me." Kat gripped the wall, using it to try to keep herself in place.

"We have nothing to talk about."

"Yes, we do. There's more to this than just what you saw." Kat saw Carter flinch and she felt a stab of guilt. "I will not move until you hear me out."

Carter made a low sound of annoyance. "Fine, speak your piece. For whatever good it will do you."

"I can't stand the loneliness." Kat released her grip on the wall. "Richard is physically attracted to me, and I saw a chance to…pretend that the rules didn't exist."

Carter looked away from her. "So you want them to not exist so that you and Richard can have sex in the locker room without worry."

Kat clenched her hands. "It wasn't Richard's name I was saying. It was yours." Carter vaguely remembered the belief that he'd heard her moan his name. At the time he had thought it was just his imagination, a hopeful wish in an awful moment. But here she was, telling him that he had heard right. "I wasn't pretending that Richard and I could be together. I was pretending that you and I could be together."

Carter could feel his hope rising, but the anger still overpowered it. "That doesn't change the fact that you were sleeping with Richard behind my back."

Kat pulled his face so that he was looking at her. "We never slept together." A bit of surprise crossed Carter's face. "I never let it go that far." Kat paused and looked away from him. "I wouldn't want to do that with anyone else but you."

Carter reached up one of his hands and placed it over one of hers that was still lingering on the side of his face. "You hurt me, Kat." Her name was like music to her ears. She'd missed the way he said it, even when angry with her. "I trusted you."

"I didn't want to hurt you, Carter." She paused for a minute before she continued. "I love you, Carter."

"I told you never to say that." Carter pulled her hands away from him. "Besides, if you loved me, then you wouldn't have done that with Richard."

"That's why I did it." Kat frowned. "You keep following all those damn rules, but Richard, Richard was offering even a chance to pretend that they could be ignored. He didn't care that I would say your name—that was part of our deal."

"He still shouldn't have been touching you like that."

"Why? Because it's against the rules?"

"No, because you're mine." Carter froze when he said the words. He couldn't stop them from pouring out in his anger. He always tried to keep his temper in check, because it seemed when he didn't, he admitted things that he shouldn't. He took a step back and looked away from Kat.

"I am yours, Carter. I always will be." She took a step away from the door and toward him. "I'm sorry that I was weak. That unlike you I couldn't control myself. Unlike you I became desperate."

Carter let out a deep breath. "Things aren't just going to go back to normal. You can't just say that you're sorry and make everything better."

"I know, but I want to try to make things back to normal. I care about you too much to let this go." Kat smiled slightly.

Carter nodded. He reached out, placing his hand on Kat's chin and moving her face so that her neck was exposed. Kat let him move her. She closed her eyes, enjoying the feel of his hand on her skin. He seemed satisfied with whatever he was looking for and released her. "We'll try." He moved around her and she didn't stop him from opening the door. "I'll see you back at the barracks." He left without another word.

Kat watched him go, staring at the door after it closed. She sat down at one of the work tables in the room. She knew that she could fix their relationship. She was always good at fixing things, though this would take much more effort than anything she'd ever fixed in the past.