Note: Sorry, it took me forever to write this one, I had trouble getting into the story. I don't really know why… I just know that when I tell a story, I need to believe in what I write, it becomes like some sort of obsession, and here, I couldn't really believe in B/A anymore. ME, Greenie, and Noxious worked so hard to kill the myth that they managed to hurt it pretty badly, and though I firmly believe there still hope somewhere… it just didn't ring true to my own ears anymore. Like I said, I have that tendency to become a little obsessed… lol!! ;)

But I'm back into business, 'cause hey, hope needs a little help to remain alive. If we fans and B/Aers stop writing, who's going to make sure they all get their happy ending (or angsty ending, depends)? Certainly not the rightful owners of said myth, that's for sure…

Anyway, on that absolutely fascinating author's note, I think it's time to go back to the matter at hand. On with the story, folks!! ;)

And again, thank you so much to the reviewers!!!

o o o o o o o

Buffy's POV

We keep running in circles. I came to that conclusion when I realized that we weren't going anywhere with our guesses and suppositions. I thought back to the last few weeks, and even years, and the revelation came to me that we were just back to square one. Angel here, Angel gone, Angel back here, Angel gone again, and so on… it's like a curse. We're in the 'Angel back' phase at the moment, and I still hold the hope that the circle might break now, and he will never go away again.

But I'm getting off-topic, it's not what I meant when I started that whole train of thoughts.

We keep running in circles, because every time we think we understand something, every time the situation seems to evolve, nothing happens, and we have to rethink it all, all over again.

Wow… even to me, that wasn't really clear.

I guess I'm just too tired to really think straight.

We try to understand who might want Angel dead, and we thought maybe the return of his memories would lift the veil on that mystery and show us the truth.

But guess what?

We were wrong. He doesn't know a thing, at least not for sure. He's as lost as we are, if not more. So, we're back to wondering.

Like I said… circles.

God… can't they give us a break, every once in a while?

Well, I suppose we had our break. One night… that's rather short. But hey, I'm not gonna be picky on this one, and take what I can get.

I snuggle more comfortably to Angel's side, and watch his profile as he sleeps. He looks so peaceful… but I know he's not. I know he's trying to be strong for me, he doesn't want me to see how much this whole thing affected him. When this is all over, I'll have to talk about it with him.

I can hardly believe how fast the old camaraderie we used to share came back. It's like all the years never happened, we were never apart, and we're still as much in love with one another as we used to be.

We went back to my room after spending the afternoon with Willow and Faith, trying to gather information from demons around. We didn't find anything, it's like nobody ever heard about those guys, or Angel, or anything remotely connected to the affair.

I sigh in the silence of the night… I really hope it's gonna be over soon. I want to get the life I always wanted. I think after all those years, Angel and I should get that chance we were denied of the first time… A chance to make our own choices, our own mistakes, without the threat of ending the world hanging over our heads.

The feeling of his skin on mine is something I probably won't be able to live without ever again. The heat emanating from his body is new, for him as well as for me… and I'm starting to get addicted to it… I want to stay like this forever, naked in a bed, snuggled to his side, watching him sleep after having made love.

But unfortunately, I know I'm gonna have to get up sooner or later, and leave the warmth and safety of his arms… My life sucks.

I frown at that thought, and at the same time, Angel turns around in his sleep and his arms come around my waist, holding me tightly. Okay, maybe my life doesn't suck that much. Lately. I smile to myself, and drop a kiss on his shoulder, finally closing my eyes as I bury my face in the crook of his neck.

Everything's gonna be okay.

o o o o o o o

Angel's POV

I don't really know where I am… everything's kinda fuzzy around me, I can't really see or hear anything particular. The only thing I'm sure of is that I'm holding Buffy in my arms, I can feel the softness of her skin against mine, and her breath against my neck…

A chill comes over me, and I tighten my embrace around her body, seeking her warmth. But as I try to draw her closer, I feel like she's slipping away, getting colder and slowly vanishing right under my nose, and there's nothing I can do but watch. My heartbeat quickens, and I have trouble breathing… I'm panicking. Trying to hold onto her when she's already out of my reach…

There's a flash, and I find myself floating above a dark room. I look down, and I see myself and Buffy sleeping naked in a bed. I sigh in relief when I realize that she didn't go anywhere. She's still with me… Only, I'm not in my body anymore. The feeling's kind of familiar now.

This is a dream. I don't see any other possible explanation.

"Yes… This is a dream" a voice says next to me, and I jump. I hadn't noticed I wasn't alone.

I can't move an inch. Well, I can move my arms and my head, but I can't walk, or even move my feet.

A tall figure comes out of the darkness behind me, and when I can finally see its face, I smile bitterly and shake my head.

"Hamilton" I say "I should have guessed, that it wasn't the end"

He just shrugs. "It's never the end… But I'm not who you think I am"

I'm starting to understand Buffy, when she says the cryptic act is annoying. "And… who are you?" I ask.

He shrugs again, and smirks. "I use that face because you know it… You couldn't see the real one. But if this one's bothers you, I can change…"

And as he says it, I see his features morph into those of a woman. A blond… Darla. This time, I laugh. "What?" I ask "Is this a 'let's remember my enemies' dream session?"

"More or less". His, or her, face changes again, faster… "Not only your enemies… let's just say, your ghosts".

My breath catches in my throat when I see Wesley, Fred, Gunn, Doyle, and finally Cordelia flash before my eyes. "Get out of their faces" I say between clenched teeth. If only I could move…

"Seeing a pattern here?" it asks in my friend's voice "All those people are dead"

"What are you?" I ask "The first evil?"

Cordy's laugh rings up in the silence of that place, and I clench my fists at my sides. "The first Evil? I don't think so… But I could take its favourite face, If you want to. The latest one, anyway." And Cordy immediately morphs into Buffy.

"Like I said" my love's voice says "Dead people". And for a second, her face changes, and I get a glimpse of Spike smirking at me, before Buffy appears again.

"I'm not stupid" I say, "I know you're not her… I know you're not them"

A laugh, again. "I'm nobody, actually…" it says, shrugging. "I'm just your imagination… the part of your subconscious that's worried about the future"

"I'm not worried" I say. A little too fast.

"Aren't you? You know demons are after you, my love… and you know they'll come after me. Don't you love me enough to spare me the danger?"

"Quit talking like you were her… you're not her, you can never be her"

"And they'll come after your son, killing all the loved ones you have left. We aren't that numerous anymore, you know? Who else do you have but me, and him?"

"Shut up!"

"I'm just saying"

And as fast as it appeared, it goes away. I'm left alone looking at Buffy and myself in the bed, snuggled together under the sheets.

There's a flash again, and I'm holding Buffy's bloodied body, listening to her last breath… Two kids… Connor… all dead.

I scream.

I wake up with a start, cold sweat covering my forehead. Buffy moans in her sleep, but thankfully doesn't wake up. I bring a hand to my brow, and take deep breaths… Whatever that dream was, it was warning me of something…

I can't stay here. I look down at my lover's peaceful face. What I'm about to do is one of the hardest things I've ever done… Along with the first time I did it, and the day I killed my own son to give him the life he deserved. I bend down and kiss her lips softly… even in her sleep, she responds, and my heart weeps for the chance we could have had. We were so close…

"Love you…" she mutters.

I brush a strand of hair behind her ear. "I love you too…"

I know I can't stay here. I should know, by now, that happiness is forever out of my reach… At least, she has a chance, if I'm away. I need to discover who those demons are, what they want, and I need to do it alone. I refuse to endanger her, or anybody else. Maybe one day I'll come back.

I get up, and get dressed quickly. I look at her one last time, and head out of the room without looking back. Because if I do, I'll never be able to leave.

o o o o o o o

Buffy's POV

I'm cold. It's the first thing my mind registers when I wake up from my dreamless sleep. I roll over, and reach out a hand without even opening my eyes, searching for the warmth a certain ex-vampire could share with me. When my fingers meet the pillow, I frown, and finally look around… Only to find that I'm alone in my bed. Again.

I sigh… We'll have to talk about that waking-up-too-early thing.

But something feels strange. It's like he's… not here. As in, so far that I can't feel him. I start to panic a little, even if I know it's ridiculous. I get up and look for his sweater on the floor. It's nowhere to be seen. I grab a robe, and fling the bathroom door open, he's not here either. My blood pumps in my ears, my breath quickening. I know it's stupid, he's probably somewhere downstairs, but I can't help that feeling in my gut, that something's wrong.

I get dressed faster than I ever did in my life, and run in the hall to look into Faith's room, and then Willow's. In each of them I meet a curious and startled pair of eyes, but I don't answer the questions. His own room is empty, all his clothes are gone… I run down the stairs and stop, out of breath, at the reception.

"Did Mr Callahan sign out?" I ask without a hello.

The receptionist looks at me, frowning. I realize that I forgot to put on the glamour. But she looks at her files anyway, probably used to strange occurrences.

"Callahan… oh, yes, I remember… He signed out in the middle of the night" she says with a smile.

I want to smile back and thank her, but I don't find it in me. Angel's gone… again. I don't know if I should laugh at the irony, or cry.

I just nod, and walk back towards the stairs. I'm halfway to my room when I meet Willow and Faith in the hall. "Hey… what's up B?" the latter asks.

I just nod, trying to hold back tears that are starting to form behind my eyes.

Willow frowns, and puts a hand on my arm. "Buffy?"

I swallow harshly. "Angel… Angel's… gone"

Two pairs of eyebrows raise suddenly. A chorus of "What" and "Where" rings up in my ears, but I don't find it in me to even care to answer. My knees finally give way, and I collapse slowly against the wall. Willow immediately kneels down next to me and hugs me tightly. Faith fidgets a minute, and sits down against the opposite wall.

I don't know how long we stay there. I'm only aware of that feeling in my heart, a mix of anger, disappointment, pain, and panic at the idea that he's alone outside, when demons are after him. What if he was kidnapped, and I didn't even notice? What made him leave me again? I thought now was the chance, finally…

Why?

o o o o o o o

Angel's POV

I walk aimlessly in the streets of L.A… I was gone only two years. But so many things have changed… I don't know where I'm going.

I turn at a street corner, looking over my shoulder. The sun is shining outside, but the alley is a little dark, and I don't see as well as I used to. I quicken my pace, something tells me I'm being followed… I walk faster and faster towards the main street, looking behind me again… and literally run into an old woman who's passing by. I almost knock her over, but manage to steady her before she falls.

She smiles at me, and there's something about her eyes… "What are you running from?" she asks, laughing. I shrug sheepishly, and only when I hear a little girly laugh do I realize she's not alone. There's a little girl with her, about eight years old, with bright green eyes I could swear I already saw before. "I'm sorry" I say "I should be more careful".

"No harm's done" the old lady says, shaking her head. That simple move makes the dozens of little bells on her shawl tingle, and her silver jewelry shines in the brightness of the street. I know there's something I should remember, but I can't put my finger on it…

"You shouldn't be here, you know?" the little girl asks, looking at me intently "There's somebody waiting for you"

"I know" I say without even thinking. Something about that child makes me at ease… as if I knew her.

"A little patience, sweetie" the old lady says, stroking her companion's hair "a little patience" she mutters again, walking closer to me. I can't move, mesmerized by those two persons… I know my reaction is not natural, but then again, I don't think they are either. She brings a hand to my forehead, and when her skin touches mine, I feel a jolt of electricity course through me, and I hiss at the slight pain. I see them smile fleetingly, as the girl talks again "You're gonna need it".

Then she points at something behind me, but when I look over my shoulder, there's nothing but an empty alley. I turn back around… and they're gone.

o o o o o o o

Buffy's POV

I still can't really believe he's gone. It's just… not possible. And we have to find him, we can't let him fight alone. Because I'm not stupid, I know why he left, he left because he didn't want to endanger us. I don't know what happened to make him take that decision, but I know it's the reason… I'm starting to know him, after all this time.

Willow walks me back to my room, and I smile at her when she leaves. I'm not gonna break down now. I'm gonna find him, and kick his ass until he swears he'll never leave again. I'm violent that way, what can I say?

But it doesn't mean I can't cry. When I'm left alone in the room we spent hours making love in these last two days, when there's just me, the silence, and his smell, my resolve wavers, and bitter tears run down my cheeks. I walk to the bed, and lay down with my head on his pillow… only to meet something cold, and metallic. I jerk away from the soft cotton, and look down…

I can only gasp as I grab the thing that was waiting for me on my own bed.

The bracelet.

A slow smile spreads on my face, through my tears. Maybe there's still a way for this to end well.

TBC

o o o o o o o

So? What do you think of this one?