Harry Potter and the Final Chapter
By
Lewis M. Brooks, III
Chapter 26 – I Don't Want To Live Without Him
"Do you think one of us should go get her?" asked James. "You know…before she hurts him?"
As James stood outside of Albus's room in St. Mungo's, he was referring to his mother. Ginny had just found Peter Skeeter trying to talk to Carly in Albus's room. Ginny was in the process of removing him from the building. Peter Skeeter was finding out why her Weasley temper was legendary.
"No," said Harry. "She won't hurt him…not badly anyway, and we are in a hospital after all." Harry was trying not to laugh, though he was tempted to let himself laugh. It might be a long time before he laughed again. "Besides…I think right now, she can use the distraction."
"You miserable piece of filth," yelled Ginny. She had Peter Skeeter, and was levitating him down the hall by his ankle. She was 'accidentally' bouncing him off of the walls, ceiling, and floor, as they went down the hallway towards the stairway. Ginny was not happy.
"Please put me down," begged Skeeter, nearly in tears.
"Oh, I'll put you down all right," growled Ginny. Ginny winced a little in mock sympathy. "Oh, that had to hurt." Ginny had just accidentally whacked his head on the landing as they descended the stairs. She still had him upside down.
"Please," begged Skeeter. "I'll never do it again."
"That goes without saying," said Ginny. "Next time I will throw you off the roof."
Ginny arrived moments later with the helpless reporter at the front desk of St. Mungo's. "This one seems to have got by you," bellowed Ginny to the Aurors standing guard. She removed the spell and Skeeter crashed to the ground in a heap. "See that it doesn't happen again."
Ginny rounded on Skeeter who was cowering on the floor. "And as for you, you obnoxious, worthless, lowlife pile of dung, if you come near any member of my family again it will be the last thing you ever do," growled Ginny. "And just so you don't forget." Ginny pointed her wand at him and said a spell, the one she was famous for when she was in school. Suddenly giant bat-bogies were flying around Skeeter's face attacking him. He jumped to his feet and ran for the exit screaming. Ginny smiled as he ran. "That will teach you to mess with the master of the Bat-Bogey Hex!"
Ginny stormed up the stairs. She had walked into Albus's room with Lily to find Peter Skeeter badgering Carly with questions. Carly was crying hysterically. Before Ginny could move, Lily had beaten her to the punch, literally. She hit Skeeter in the gut with a punch that the strongest Muggle boxer would have envied, and doubled him over, and then she kicked him, very, very hard, in a rather sensitive area actually lifting him off the ground. Then Ginny took over. It was an awfully satisfying experience, though one she hoped not to have to repeat. She was fairly certain Peter Skeeter would not be back to bother them.
Unfortunately, Ginny knew that when she arrived back at Albus's room, she would be returning to reality. Her little boy was terribly weak, and getting weaker by the hour, weaker by the minute. The Healers said they didn't expect Albus would last much longer, and there was nothing more they could do for him.
Everyone had come to see Albus today, anticipating that the end was near. No one said it out loud, but everyone knew they had come to say goodbye.
Hermione and Ron had said they would stay, but Ginny told them they needed to go be with the family at the Burrow where the rest of the Weasleys and their friends had gathered to wait. Kingsley had some people from the Ministry overseeing things at Hogwarts, as Hagrid, Sirius, and Neville were all at the Burrow. Harry and Ginny were going to make Lily go to the Burrow as well. Lily had three times tried to heal Albus, and Ginny and Harry had decided they would not risk letting her stay. They didn't trust her to be there when the end came. James was going to take her to the Burrow and stay with her. They were about to say goodbye to Albus, when they went in and found Skeeter.
Soon, Ginny, Harry, Carly, and Rose would be left to wait for the end that they had all, save Carly, begun to accept was coming. They had fought it, but they had little fight left in them. Albus was going to die, and there was nothing Ginny could do or say that was going to change that. She was going to lose her little boy.
Ginny tried to think of the last five years as a wonderful gift. Albus should have died in the Chamber of Secrets his first year. The miracle of his survival had given them Albus for five more wonderful years. Perhaps he was living on borrowed time since then. Perhaps that debt had finally come due.
Ginny knew it would be no easier for everyone else than it was for her. James blamed himself. The book had called James, Albus's protector. Now James felt he should have saved him. Lily thought she had the power to save him, but Harry and Ginny couldn't let her risk it, healing Rose had nearly killed Lily. All Rose could do was blame herself for taking Albus as a partner in the competition, even though it was Albus who had begged her to. Harry blamed himself, because he blamed himself for everything. He didn't need a specific reason. Ginny was the only one who really placed the blame where it belonged. She knew this was Voldemort's fault. That didn't help her much. It didn't change what was going to happen.
The person, who really worried Ginny, was Carly. As much as Carly had cried these last two weeks, as Albus got weaker and weaker, Carly became more convinced he would never break his promise to her. According to Carly, Albus couldn't die because they were going to be married in August, and have a family, and grow old together. Carly was in complete and total denial. Ginny was afraid Carly would never recover from this. This was going to destroy Carly. In some ways, Ginny knew that trying to help Carly deal with losing Albus would be even worse than losing Albus. Carly was strong, she had to be to get through what happened to her parents, but where Albus was concerned, her strength had limits. The book said Carly was the source of Albus's power, but Ginny new, that Albus was the source of Carly's strength.
As Ginny walked down the hall, she could see Harry and James nearly carrying Lily out of Albus's room. She didn't have to ask why. Ginny hurried down the corridor towards them.
"No, Lily," said Harry. "We can't let you try to heal him. We won't risk it. I'm sorry, but we just can't let you."
"But I know I can save him," cried Lily through her sobs. "I can save him, Dad, please. I saved Rose. I know I can save Al."
"Lily," said Ginny as she arrived next to them and put he arms around her little girl, hugging her tight. "I know you want to save Albus, but we won't risk your getting hurt. Ginny pulled back and looked Lily in the eyes. "And you know Al wouldn't want you to risk hurting yourself, right? He would be very angry if anything happened to you. He loves you too much for that."
Lily nodded, the tears still sliding down her face. "But, Mum, I don't want him to die," said Lily, breaking into sobs again.
Ginny pulled her into a hug again. "None of us do, Lily," said Ginny as she blinked back her own tears. "But some things just can't be prevented." She held Lily for a moment longer. There really was little else she could say. "James, you two should go."
Ginny let go of Lily, and hugged James. "I'm sorry, Mum," said James.
"No more of that," said Ginny. "It's not your fault. It's none of our faults." As she said that, she could feel Harry cringe, but Ginny didn't say anything.
James slowly shook his head disbelievingly, put his arm around Lily, and led her away. Ginny put her arms around Harry, tears in her eyes and hugged him tight.
"Are you ready to go back in?" asked Harry softly, putting his arms around her. Harry didn't know what to do. Albus was going to die. He had to accept that and be strong for his family. He had been keeping his tears at bay all day, but he was quickly reaching his limit.
Compounding Harry's feelings, he had received a message two days earlier that his Uncle Vernon had passed away. He certainly felt no great loss, but wanted to go to the service for Aunt Petunia. She had visited over the past few summers, and Harry had gradually forgiven her for his childhood. He couldn't go though, not with Albus's current condition.
"Yes," said Ginny. "I'm a ready as I'll ever be."
"Then let's go," said Harry softly.
Harry and Ginny walked into Albus's room. Carly was seated where she always was, on Albus's right, clutching his hand in both of hers, tears sliding down her cheeks. They just kept falling silently, as she clutched his hand, falling from her chin, and splashing onto she bed.
Harry had never seen anyone shed so many tears in his life, and Harry had seen and shed far too many long before Albus ever encountered the Horntail. Rose sat next to Carly, rubbing Carly's back, trying to soothe her, her own tears sliding down her cheeks. The guilt she felt etched on her face.
Ginny and Harry sat on Albus's other side. Ginny placed her hand on his arm. There was no hand to hold. A bandage was wrapped around his wrist, where his hand should have been.
They sat in silence, no one was sure for how long. They just listened to Albus breathing. His breathing seemed to get shallower with each breath. It wouldn't be long now.
The deafening silence was suddenly broken by Carly. "He really…he really isn't going to wake up, is he?" asked Carly.
At those words, Ginny closed her eyes for a moment. If Carly accepted the inevitable, Ginny hoped it would be easier, but Carly's words cut into Ginny's heart like a spear. It was as if Carly was begging someone to tell her she was wrong, pleading for someone to reaffirm the faith that until now had never wavered. As much as Ginny wanted to, she couldn't lie to Carly.
"No sweetheart, he isn't going to wake up," said Ginny sadly.
"We'll all get through this," said Harry, trying to convince himself as much as anyone else in the room. He truly didn't know that he could.
"No, I won't," said Carly. Her voice was calm, Ginny thought, much too calm.
"We're all here for you, Carly," said Rose softly. Rose was still fighting her guilt. It almost made it worse that no one else blamed her. Rose knew she had to be strong for Carly.
"I don't want to live without him," said Carly, as matter-of-factly as if she had mentioned the color of the paint on the walls. "We may not get to marry, or have a family, or grow old together, but we can have forever together." The look in her eyes was what scared Ginny the most.
Ginny and Harry just looked at each other. They did not know what to say. The meaning of her words was clear. Before they could speak, as if he too realized the magnitude of what Carly was thinking, Albus's breaths became strained.
They knew it was time. Any minute Albus would be gone, and they would be left with a hole in their lives, they could never possibly fill.
In years to come, none of them would ever speak of what happened next. The shock of it etched it in their minds permanently. No one needed to speak of it though, the knowledge that it happened, and that they had witnessed it, was all that was important.
Albus gasped sharply, and they all thought that was to be his last. That however, was not the case. Albus's eyes sprung open suddenly, and he screamed, a blood curdling scream that only the most horrible thing imaginable could produce, as if his very soul were being sucked out in that scream. Albus thrashed in the bed so violently, it tipped over towards Rose and Carly, throwing them back out of their chairs.
Harry and Ginny quickly moved around the over turned bed. Albus was thrashing violently on the floor, his eyes open, staring wildly around at them, as if their very presence was scaring him more.
"You're all dead! I didn't save you! I let you all die! I let you all die!" Albus screamed at them in terror.
"Albus, it's all right," said Ginny, as she and Harry knelt down on each side of Albus to try and calm him, but when they grabbed him he only thrashed more violently and screamed louder.
"Fifteen years ago you all died! You can't be here! I let you all die," yelled Albus, a look of utter terror still on his face. He was completely out of his mind with fear and grief.
Carly and Rose finally picked themselves up from the floor and looked on in disbelief. After a moment, Carly did the only thing she could think of. Ignoring the fact that Albus was very likely to injure her as he thrashed around, she leapt on top of him, trying desperately to pin his much larger and stronger body to the floor. She took his face in her hands and looked into his eyes, seeing more fear than she had ever seen there before.
"Al, it's me," said Carly. "Please stop, it's all right. We're here."
"No," screamed Albus. "You died! You died! You died!"
Rose ran from the room to get a Healer, though with Albus's screaming, she was sure she would run into them coming to them already. Finally, Carly did the only thing she could think of to try and calm him. She kissed him.
At first, he fought her, trying to push her away, but she held her arms around him, like a vice and kissed him like she never had before. After a few moments, Albus began to relax. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her back desperately as if his life depended on it.
In his mind, Albus suddenly realized he had to be dead too, he was afraid that at any moment, she would be gone. Dead or alive, real or imagined, Carly was in his arms, and he cared about nothing else, but not wasting one second with her.
Several Healers rushed in with Rose seconds later, and they just stopped, looking with disbelief at the scene. Harry and Ginny were kneeling down on either side of Albus who had Carly on top of him, and they were snogging like none of them had ever imagined anyone could.
"Maybe…we'll give you all a few minutes," said one of the Healers slowly. "He appears to be…feeling much better." The Healers left with looks of astonishment on their faces, leaving Harry, Ginny, and Rose, still stunned at what had transpired.
Finally, after what had to be the longest continuous snog the world had ever seen, Carly pulled back from Albus and they looked into each other's eyes. The terror in Albus's eyes was gone, replaced by all the love he felt for her, and his confusion at not knowing what was going on.
"Are we dead?" asked Albus, his voice strained.
"No," said Carly smiling at him. "You have been in the hospital for two weeks, since the Horntail broke free at the tournament."
"Two weeks," said Albus. Could it have been a dream sending him fifteen years into an unspeakable future, into a nightmare straight from the depths of hell?
"Albus, let's get you up off the floor," said Harry, his mind racing.
Albus looked around and saw his parents and Rose. Carly slowly moved off of him, though he didn't want to let go of her. Albus tried to get up, but he realized he was in pain all over, and weaker than he had ever felt before. He looked at his left arm, at the bandage where his hand should have been. "It wasn't all a dream," said Albus absently.
Rose and Carly flipped the overturned bed over, and put the mattress, sheets, and pillows back where they belonged. Harry and Ginny lifted Albus to his feet. He was too weak to stand, but they maneuvered him into bed.
Ginny, Harry, and Rose each took turns hugging Albus. They all hugged him so tight, it made the pain he felt, worse, but he wouldn't trade it for anything. Albus couldn't believe they were here, that they were alive.
"Someone tell me everything, please," said Albus. "I need to know everything that's happened since the task started."
"What is the last thing you remember?" asked Harry.
"The Horntail chased me," said Albus. "He finally caught me, and I ended up in the shallow water. I remember thinking I had to raise the sword. I remember thinking please let Rose be all right." Albus turned to Carly. "And I remember thinking, Carly, I'm sorry." Albus paused. "Then I had the most awful dream I could ever imagine. The worst nightmare I could ever have. I woke up to find it was fifteen years from now. I had lost my hand, but had killed the Horntail, but before I did, it had killed all of you on the pitch." Albus decided at that moment, he would never reveal the rest of the details of the dream, if it were a dream. It had felt far too real to be just a dream. Whatever it was, it wasn't real, and that was all that mattered.
"That must have been awful, Al," said Ginny, trying to fix his hair, which was even more unruly than usual.
"It was," said Albus. "It was." He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep, calming breath. "Now, what really happened?"
"You did kill the Horntail," said Harry. "And as is obvious, you did lose your hand. The Healers couldn't save it. Just before it all happened, there was new text in the book. It said, 'The Trials Commence. The Heir shall face a great beast, and only if he is found worthy, will he rise like the phoenix from the ashes for the second time, but a price he will pay. Only The Healer can save The Sage'."
Albus thought for a moment. The dream, it must have been a test. He could only assume he had passed it, but he didn't really understand how. This was the second time he had seemingly risen from the dead, and his hand was obviously the price he had paid. The last part left Albus perplexed.
Harry could see the confusion on Albus's face, and continued. "We gathered on the pitch after the dragon followed you," said Harry taking a deep breath. "Rose was dead."
Albus looked towards Rose, but he could say nothing for a moment. Then he finally spoke. "You appear to be feeling better," said Albus swallowing hard. "You're obviously not dead."
"Lily healed her," said Harry. "Rose was healed but unconscious and Lily fell unconscious as well. Lily woke up three days later, Rose nearly a week after that. They are both fine."
"Come here, Rose," said Albus. He couldn't even wrap his mind around it. Rose had died and been healed, brought back from the dead by his sister.
Rose smiled and moved closer. Albus put his arms around Rose and hugged her. "I'm sorry, I should have protected you," said Albus.
"You do know, I decked the last person who said something like that to me," said Rose with a laugh as she hugged him back. "Under the circumstances however, I think I can give you a pass just this once."
Albus and Rose broke apart, and Harry continued. "We found out one of the Dragon Keepers was a Death Eater," said Harry. "He sabotaged the chain."
It seemed to all make sense, Albus thought. "I'm sorry I scared you all," said Albus shaking his head. "I seem to have a talent for that. Where is everyone else?"
"We thought…the end was near," said Ginny, a tear escaping her eye. Harry put his arms around her. "We didn't think you would last the night. Everyone came today and said goodbye, and we were…waiting."
"I'm so sorry I put you all through that," said Albus closing his eyes for a moment. He felt so guilty, even though he knew it wasn't his fault.
"It doesn't matter, Al," said Carly with a smile. "As long as we have you back, that's all that matters." She leaned down and kissed him, not desperately like before, but lovingly, tenderly. He had kept his promise to her. Carly knew he always would.
Albus shifted slightly in bed, and realized he was incredibly sore, not to mention hungry. "Can we get one of the Healers in here with a potion?" asked Albus wincing in pain. "I hurt all over. I'm starving too."
"Sure," said Ginny with a smile. "They didn't want to give you too many potions for the pain while you were unconscious. I'm sure they'll have you feeling better in no time now. I'll go get them, and I'm sure we can get you something to eat as well."
Ginny left them to find a Healer. "Dad, I have a question that I almost hate to ask you?" asked Albus drawing a deep breath.
"What is it, Al?" asked Harry.
"I know it isn't important, not compared to all of us being all right," said Albus, "But…did your Firebolt…survive?"
Harry, Rose, and Carly all laughed. It was the first real laugh any of them had in the last two weeks. It felt great.
"When you fell off the Firebolt, the broom kept going a bit, it landed quite a ways from where you and the Horntail did," said Harry. "It's fine. I even polished it up for you."
"Thank you," said Albus with a sigh of relief. His Dad's Firebolt was his most prized possession, and he would have hated to lose it. Another thought occurred to Albus. "By the way, just out of curiosity, did we win the task?"
"The official decision of the judges was that we had completed the task before the Horntail escaped, and as that was sabotage, we should not be penalized for that," said Rose. "We scored forty-nine points, first place."
"Did Uncle Percy only give us nine points?" asked Albus with a laugh.
Harry and Rose laughed as well.
"Yes," said Rose with a smile. "He doesn't believe in perfection apparently."
"Did I miss the second task?" asked Albus. "I'm sure they haven't canceled the Triwizard Tournament, not even for this."
Carly shuddered at the thought of Albus competing again. She was sitting on the edge of the bed. Albus pulled her into a hug. "Don't worry," said Albus. "They can't be any worse than a dragon. Didn't I make you a promise? I kept it, didn't I?"
She smiled at him. "Yes, you did," said Carly.
"To answer your question," said Rose. "They postponed the second task until spring. I haven't even looked at the egg, we can work on it over the Christmas Holiday."
"That's good," said Albus. "Did I miss anything else?"
"Neville proposed to Gabrielle Dubois and she said yes," said Carly with a smile.
Albus had the strangest thought. In his nightmare, Neville told him he still had the ring he had bought Gabrielle, but until this moment, Albus never knew about a ring. How could it have been in his nightmare…unless it wasn't really a nightmare?
"That's great," said Albus. "I'm happy for him. I know what it means to be in love." Albus smiled at Carly, who smiled back.
The Healers and Ginny came in and Albus was given some potions, which immediately made him feel a lot better, though he was still weak. The Healers said they would give him a new hand the next day and that he was very lucky, years ago, they would have had to fit him with a prosthetic hand, but now they could give him one that would be just like having his hand back.
The Healers left them alone after that. Harry flooed the Burrow to let them know that Albus was all right, and they could come see him the next afternoon. After a big meal, Harry, Ginny, and Rose left for the Burrow to celebrate the wonderful news that Albus was all right.
Carly stayed with Albus. She was curled up on his right side on the bed with her head on his shoulder and he had his arm around her. He knew Carly hadn't slept hardly at all in two weeks, and he could tell she had fallen asleep. He just listened to the gentle sound of her breathing. She was there, and not going anywhere.
For a moment, he looked at the bandage where his hand should have been. It was a small price to pay for saving Rose. Rose was worth any limb. He knew the Healers would give him a replacement, and if it were like his dream, it would be completely functional, even if it didn't feel quite right. He knew how bad Rose felt about it, but Albus would never give it a second thought.
Harry had told Albus all about the vision, and Susan Bones' death. Albus couldn't believe that story Susan had told them months earlier was actually true. His Dad's trip to speak to Dr. Braun had proven that.
Albus had been tired almost from the moment he woke up. It had been hours since he woke up, his eyes finally began to close, and he drifted off to sleep.
Albus apparated in front of Voldemort. He punched Voldemort in the face and sent him sprawling to the ground.
"Stay away from him," yelled Albus, as he drew the Sword of Gryffindor from the sheath on his back, and stood before Voldemort prepared to duel.
Suddenly Albus opened his eyes. It had been a dream. He was still in the bed at St. Mungo's, and Carly was sleeping soundly with her head on his shoulder. He turned his head to his left. His father sat beside him in a chair.
"I thought you went to the Burrow, Dad," said Albus groggily.
"I did," said Harry. "But I just couldn't sleep so I came back. Did I wake you?"
"No," said Albus. "I just had the strangest dream." Albus told his father about the dream he had. Albus could tell from the look on his father's face that it meant something.
As soon as Harry heard the details of the dream, he had a pretty good idea what it meant. Albus had a similar dream to the one Harry had five years ago. The dream Harry never told Albus about.
"Al, do you remember how I told you that Albus Dumbledore kept things from me, and how it upset me so much way back then?" asked Harry softly.
"Yes," said Albus.
Harry sighed. "I never knew what that decision was like for him and I never really forgave him for it," said Harry. "Not until the night I first showed you the book in the Hospital Wing. I promised you earlier that year that I would tell you everything. I'm sorry. I broke that promise that night. There was one thing I didn't tell you, I didn't think you needed to be burdened by it."
Albus considered his father's words. His first impulse was anger, but Albus could hear in his father's voice, and see in his face how hard it was for him to make that decision not to tell him. He had not done it lightly.
"All right," said Albus. "I understand. What didn't you tell me?"
"Before what happened in the Chamber of Secrets, I had a dream," said Harry slowly. "In the dream, I saw James fighting Voldemort. Voldemort killed him, and Lily killed Voldemort with the Killing Curse."
"She wouldn't," said Albus in astonishment. "Lily could never use an Unforgivable Curse. It's just not possible."
"After watching James die she could," said Harry with a sigh. "After what happened in the chamber, I had the dream again, but it had changed. I think I saw a similar dream to the one you just had. I saw you fighting Voldemort. He had the Sword of Souls, and you had the Sword of Gryffindor."
"What does it mean, Dad?" asked Albus.
"Al, the reason I didn't tell you is…that I think it means I won't be around to fight Voldemort at the end," said Harry slowly. Harry had thought this for so long, but this was the first time he ever said it out loud.
"No, Dad," said Albus shaking his head. "It can't mean that." A tear escaped Albus's eye. "Maybe it just means I'm supposed to be the one to stop him." Then Albus remembered the promise he made that same night. "That's why you made me promise to let you face him alone. I won't Dad. I won't let you face him alone."
"You have to, Al," said Harry. "The book says the future can be changed. I think I'm meant to change what we've seen. I think I'm meant to use the Sword of Souls to stop Voldemort once and for all. Then I can destroy the sword, and Voldemort will be gone forever. I will be fine, but you must let me face him alone."
Albus had to admit it all seemed to fit. It all made perfect sense. But did it make too much sense? "Are you really sure, Dad?" asked Albus. "Are you really sure that's the right thing to do?"
"I've thought about it," said Harry reassuringly. "Voldemort must be destroyed permanently, it's the only way. I've been fighting him for as long as I can remember. Don't forget, the book says destiny can not be denied."
"All right, Dad," said Albus with a sigh. "How do we get the sword?"
Harry laughed. "We don't," said Harry with a smile. "I will figure that out. I want you to get your life back to normal and enjoy your last year of school as much as possible. Spend time with Carly, it has been so hard for her, and it won't get any easier. You still have the Triwizard Tournament to deal with. You have all that to worry about. Please leave Voldemort and the Sword of Souls to me for now. Please."
Albus didn't want to say yes. He wanted to help his father find the sword. Albus knew his father was right though. All Albus really wanted was to spend time with Carly and all his friends and family, and be a student. The tournament was going to make that difficult enough as it was.
"All right," said Albus. "But I need you to make me a promise."
"What is it?" asked Harry.
"No, fair is fair, make the promise, then I'll tell you what it is," said Albus.
"I suppose that's only fair," said Harry with a grin.
"When the end comes, I want to be there," said Albus. "I won't interfere, Voldemort is yours, but I want to be there when you face him."
Harry closed his eyes for a long moment. Albus didn't have to say what he was thinking, Harry knew. Albus wanted to be there so if anything happened to him, Albus would finish what he started.
"All right," said Harry. "I promise. I'm going to get going. Get some sleep, we'll be back in the afternoon, the Healers said we should stay away until they get your hand taken care of." Harry kissed his son's forehead and left.
Albus knew his Dad was right about all of it. It made sense to use the Sword of Souls against Voldemort. His Dad was also right that he had to get his life back to normal and concentrate on the tournament. He just couldn't help but wonder if this is how it was all meant to play itself out. He had little choice though. In any case, thoughts of what came next could wait until tomorrow. For now, he needed to sleep.