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DEFINITELY DESTINY

– – CHAPTER 25 – –

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"Sorry I'm late, I lost track of time," Edmund said, walking into the dining room for lunch the next afternoon. "So if you have eaten the food, you'll have to get it cooked for me again because I'm starving."

"You're on time," Peter said. "Almost."

"I am?" Edmund asked. "Then I take my sorry back."

"Eda food, food!" Irene, who was sitting on the chair in between her parents, cheered. "Food is good!"

Edmund chuckled. "That's my niece."

He looked around at the smiling faces of his family.

Peter was smiling at Irene while the little girl jumped in her seat. Isabel was trying to calm her down before she fell down.

Caspian was drinking water, looking around while Susan smiled at Irene, a hand on her swollen belly.

Lucy was looking at her plate, deep in her thoughts. Probably about Chad. He didn't want to know.

It felt good to be back.

And then Edmund moved his eyes to Estella, a white bandage wrapped around her hand and her lip swollen but smiling at him.

"Hi," he said to her.

"Hi," she replied.

"How're you?"

"How do you think?"

"You'll be fine," he assured, pulling out a chair next to her.

The door to the dining room opened behind him and he turned, a smile forming on his face.

"Rowan!" Edmund exclaimed, rushing over to the boy and leaning down to wrap his arms around him.

"King Edmund," the boy cheered, hugging Edmund back. "It's good to see you."

"What are you doing here in the city?"

"Mother and I came to visit about four days ago," he replied.

"That's great," Edmund said and then pointed towards the table. "Have lunch with us."

"Umm, I'm in a hurry but I guess a sandwich will do no harm."

Rowan took a seat and grabbed a sandwich from the plate after greeting everybody.

"What brings you here to the palace, Rowan?" Peter asked.

"I wanted to meet King Edmund since he returned today," the boy paused. "At least I thought so. The guards told me you returned yesterday morning."

"We did," Edmund told him.

"Oh," he frowned.

"What is it, Rowan?"

"… Nothing." Rowan then turned to Susan. "Can you tell me where Doctor Cornelius is?"

"He must be in his study." Susan replied.

"He's not there. I checked." Rowan paused to take a bite. "He is the main reason I came here."

"Why do you want to see him so bad?" Susan asked with interest.

"It's about Aunt Adeline," Rowan said, taking a sip of water from his glass. "She is really sick."

"What happened to her?" Isabel asked, concerned.

Rowan shrugged. "Fever, flu, cold. She wouldn't stop shivering. Mother thinks its pneumonia."

"Pneumonia?" Isabel asked. "How did that happen?"

"I don't know," Rowan said. "None of us does. We didn't even know that she was back yesterday."

"What do you mean?"

"Grandma spotted Aunt Adeline in the gardens outside this morning. She was unconscious and all wet, you know, because of the storm last night."

Edmund blinked. "So are you telling me that Adeline didn't return home until late last night and you discovered her in the morning?"

"Exactly."

"But where was she all day?" he asked. "She left right after we returned."

"I don't know."

"What did she tell you?"

"She was unconscious throughout the morning, shivering in her sleep. She did mumble your name a few times, though."

Edmund went quiet, his heart filled with nothing but worry and guilt. He could feel everyone's gaze on him but he chose to ignore that.

"And then she woke up about an hour ago," Rowan went on. "And she won't talk to anyone except mother. And then mother told me to get Doctor Cornelius because aunt is sick."

"… Oh." That was all Edmund could manage.

Rowan stared at him. "She went with you to Daelhr. Do you know what happened?"

Edmund was silent for a while. And then he slowly shook his head.

"Oh, alright," Rowan said, standing up. "If you find Professor Cornelius, can you tell him to stop by?"

"Sure," Isabel said kindly.

"I'll see you all later."

Rowan waved and then ran out of the room.

The place was silent.

"So…" Caspian began with a cough. "Lucy, what more should we know about Chad?"

"Oh," Lucy paused. "He is really nice and umm… mature. He knows his limits too, so I guess Peter doesn't have anything to worry about. Right, Edmund?"

Silence.

"Edmund?" Lucy asked.

And Edmund stood up.

"Where are you going?" Estella asked him.

"I'm going to see Adeline."

"But you haven't even touched your food yet," Susan protested.

Edmund walked away without replying.

[][][][][][][][]

Juliana opened the door of the house and the way she glared at him told him that she knew everything.

"I want to see Adeline." He said.

"This really isn't a good time, my king," she said politely, moving to shut the door.

He stopped her. "Please."

She sighed. "Look, she is sick."

"I know."

"And she is shaken and she won't eat anything. I have already enough problems on my hands."

"I wish to see her nonetheless."

"You hurt her," she accused.

"Yes, I did."

"And you still have the nerve to show up here and demand to see her."

"Not demand but request." Edmund corrected. "Please."

Juliana stared at him for a moment before stepping aside. "Don't hurt her more."

He smiled at her thankfully and walked in the house, up the stairs and to Adeline's room.

The door was open an inch so he simply opened it and stepped inside.

Adeline sat wrapped up in blankets on the floor cushions by the window, with her back to him. Next to her lay a tray with a bowl of untouched soup that was still steaming.

She really was not eating anything.

He took a few steps towards her.

"Juliana," she spoke, her voice weak, "I told you I want to be alone."

He remained quiet, walking to her. Slowly, he sat down next to her and picked up the spoon.

When a spoon filled with soup entered Adeline's vision, she groaned. "Jule, I told you I don't want to eat the damn soup, so why don't you –" she stopped when she turned her head to find Edmund holding it out to her.

"Hey," he said softly. "You look terrible."

And she really did. Her skin was pale white, her eyes red and swollen with circles around them, her lower lip quivered and she looked so weak.

"You should eat," he said.

She still didn't say a word.

"Well, you better eat before I do, because I didn't have any lunch and I'm famished," he smiled. "Come on, eat."

Tears formed in her eyes as she slowly let him feed her a few spoons and then shook her head, refusing to eat any more.

"Why are you here?" she asked in a low voice.

"Because I wanted to see you," he replied. "What did you do to yourself?"

"It doesn't matter," she said. "Not to you."

"It does."

She looked away, blinking back tears.

"Can I say something?" he asked.

She gave a single nod.

"Crying really doesn't suit you."

"You are the one who made me cry."

He didn't know what to say to that, so he simply lowered his head. It was becoming harder to breathe again.

"Why?"

The whisper that left her lips was so low that Edmund wondered if he had imagined it.

He looked at her. "What?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked.

He sighed. "I don't know."

"You don't know."

"I wanted to tell you, I really did but I was afraid that you'll not want to talk to me if you knew the truth."

"I don't want to talk to you even now."

"Exactly and I don't like it. You matter to me, Adeline."

"You decided to lie to me because I matter to you?" she asked incredulously, tears of anger bubbling in her eyes. "You played with me, Edmund. You used me. And you made fun of my love."

"No, Addy, I didn't. I swear I didn't want to. I really wanted to tell you the truth but I just didn't… I was waiting for the right time."

"The non-existent right time, you mean?" she asked.

"I was going to tell you after we came back, I swear," he said, "I had planned to tell you all about my feelings for 'Stella and be honest to you. Believe me."

She was quiet, tears now trailing down her cheeks.

"I hurt you so much," he went on, his voice pained. "And now you're sick and heart-broken. It is all my fault."

"No."

He stopped. "I beg your pardon?"

"It's not your fault," she said calmly. "It's mine."

"Don't say that, Addy, please don't –"

"Do you really think I didn't know that you loved Estella?" she asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I knew that you had feelings for her, I just didn't know how deep they were. I suspected all along…" she trailed off, shaking her head. "I should have stopped. But I didn't. And look at the state I'm in now."

Edmund looked at her as she buried her face in her hands, crying.

"I asked you time and again, indirectly of course," she went on. "But I never had the guts to confront you about it. I should have done that. It would not have hurt that much… oh it hurts so much now."

He wanted to hug her and tell her to stop crying but he couldn't for his mind was elsewhere – deep in flashbacks.

"Insane thoughts kept me up." Edmund had said to her at the funeral of Estella's father, while his eyes had been on Estella.

She had placed her hand on his shoulder comfortingly. "What kind of thoughts?"

"I don't want to talk about it," he snapped, shrugging her hand away.

"Is everything alright?" she had asked again.

"Leave me alone," he had ordered angrily. "Go away!"

…

"Are you okay?" she had asked him the night he had abruptly decided to leave the dinning hall because he was too jealous to see Estella happy with her husband. Her eyes had shone with concern for him.

"I'll be fine," he had lied with a smile and left.

And when she had came to his room to visit him the same night, she had asked him, begged him, and requested him again and again to talk to her.

Not because she was curious. Oh no, not that. But because she wanted to share his sorrows. She had wanted to comfort him. And she had wanted to know why he had been so hurt…

"What happened, Edmund?"

"You don't want to know."

"But I do. Tell me."

"What if I don't want to talk about it?"

I'm here Edmund and I want you to talk to me."

"Why do you care?"

"Because I love you!"

…

"What made you cry last night, Edmund?" she had asked the morning after that night. The night he had spent with her, loving her…

"I don't know. I was depressed," he had replied, hoping that she would understand. "I just felt like nothing was going right and I hated everything around me. I just… and… I-I felt this urge to scream and… I don't know, I just –"

"It's alright, I get it. You don't want to tell me," she murmured, "You should, but you don't have to."

…

"Any man would be stupid to not accept you as a wife just because he failed to see your talents," he had told her. "And if any man does, he wouldn't deserve you then."

"Would you accept someone like me if given the choice?" she had asked.

And he had simply ignored the question.

…

"And what's so hard in believing that I like you?" he had asked her on his birthday.

"You never say it from here," she had replied, placing a hand over his heart.

Edmund had heard strange, abstract feeling deep in her words... A feeling that he understood now.

…

And of course there was the day when Susan had told them that Estella had given birth to Alys. He had stormed away into the gardens and she had followed him there.

"What happened?" she had asked.

"I just… wanted to be alone." He had replied.

"Just like that? All of a sudden?"

There was the moment when she had even worded her suspicions.

"You're not happy with the news about Estella. You were quite normal before Susan came with the news."

It had not been a question or realization. It had been a statement – simple and blank.

"It's not like that," he had lied again.

"I believe you," she had said. And of course, she had hoped that he would finally be honest with her.

And he still remembered it so clearly, the way she had looked at him before leaving that day, her gray eyes boring into his very soul – and yet they were begging for an entrance to his heart. A request he had not noticed until now.

…

She had looked at him with a sigh, at the balcony in Daelhr. "Is there something you wish to tell me, Edmund?"

"... No."

"Nothing at all?"

He hesitated. "Not yet."

Things were making sense now…

… And still they were so confusing.

Adeline knew.

Of course she knew.

Each of her questions was a chance she had given him. A chance he had not deserved but she had given it to him nonetheless… and she had waited, had hoped, because she loved him.

"You knew," he breathed. "And you didn't ask me."

"I asked you."

"Not directly."

"Yes, but you never replied."

"I never understood your questions. Why didn't you demand for explanations? You had every right to."

"I had thought that maybe you'll want to be honest with me!" she cried. "I thought that maybe you'll consider me important enough to share your thoughts and feelings with me. I was waiting, hoping that maybe I will win your love."

He closed his eyes at that.

"But no. It was Estella – it was always her," she sobbed. "Never me. I was just someone you wanted to satisfy your lust."

"No, you were more important than that, Adeline."

"No, I wasn't."

"You –"

"I wasn't," she insisted. "Don't lie to me, Edmund Pevensie."

"I'm not lying about this, Adeline," Edmund said, taking her by the shoulders and pulling her close to him. "I really care about you and you're one part of my life that is perfect. I swear, I really –"

"Get your hands off me." She said coldly.

He looked in her icy grey eyes for a moment before letting her go. He placed his fingers over her brow lightly. "Your skin is burning." He said.

"Don't touch me."

He slowly moved his hand away. "Professor Cornelius will give you good medicines and you'll be fine."

"I won't be fine, Edmund, thanks to you."

"Addy –"

"It's Adeline. Address Estella with her silly nicknames but not me –" she stopped talking when a coughing fit took over her.

"Adeline!" he exclaimed, patting her back. "Are you alright?"

She gulped in air, and a shiver went through her body.

He picked up another blanket from the bed and wrapped it around her.

"Adeline, are you –"

"No Edmund!" she shrieked, pushing him away. "I'm not alright. I'll never be because of what you did. And I want you to live with that."

"Don't –"

"Get out."

"Adeline, please –"

"Get out. Get out. Get out!" she screamed, and then placed a hand on her chest breathing heavily as tears ran down her eyes.

She really was sick and he didn't want to cause her any more inconvenience… he had already been enough trouble for her.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Go."

"Take care, Adeline."

She looked away, wrapping the blankets around her tightly as she rested her head against the windowsill.

And with his heart heavy, he walked out of the room.

[][][][][][][][]

"Edmund?" Peter asked, walking into his brother's room and groaned.

Edmund was sitting on the couch, drinking wine directly from the bottle.

"Edmund, you're drinking."

"Well noticed."

"And you're drunk."

"Full marks to Peter!"

"Give me that bottle," Peter held out a hand.

"No."

"Give it to me," Peter said strictly.

Edmund made a face. "Fine. You can have it. It's empty anyway."

Sure enough, the bottle was empty.

Rolling his eyes, Peter dropped down on the couch next to his brother. "What happened, Ed?"

"Nothing happened." Edmund said. "Adeline didn't want to talk to me."

"So you didn't even meet her?"

"I did. And she knew all along that I had feelings for Estella."

Peter blinked. "She did?"

"Yes and she was waiting for a time when I would be honest with her because I really cared," Edmund paused. "How stupid is that?"

"She really loves you."

"I know," he groaned. "And that is not making things any better for me! How did I end up in such a mess, Pete? You should have stopped me."

"I wanted to but you moved really fast," Peter sighed. "And I did warn you."

"You did," Edmund agreed, resting his head back. "Watching Adeline in such a state broke my heart, Peter. Why did it hurt me so much?"

Peter was silent, listing to his brother.

"I miss her, you know. Of course, I haven't had much time to spend with Estella but it's not like that…" Edmund sighed. "Adeline was never the substitute for Estella and neither is Estella the substitute for Adeline."

"You really care for her."

"Of course I do," Edmund said. "Do you know what it did to me, seeing her crying, seeing her so weak? It made me want to tear out my heart from my chest and showing her how much her tears pained me."

The High King stared at his brother, his blue eyes hooded.

"And when I saw Estella hurt, I wanted to comfort her too. I was so bloody worried about her," Edmund went on, standing up and pacing in his room. "I hate to see her hurt and I want to make her happy. I know I can make her happy but that would mean hurting Adeline and I cannot bear that burden…"

"Calm down, Edmund."

"Whatever I will do will hurt a woman I deeply care about. How can I calm down when I know that?"

No answer.

"See, you don't have anything to say too."

Silence.

"Why aren't you saying anything?" Edmund paused to look at his brother.

Peter's blue eyes were on him as he said in a smooth voice, "Edmund Pevensie, do you know that you're in love with Adeline?"

"Don't say that." Edmund held up a hand. "I love Estella."

"Yes, you do," Peter agreed.

"Then why do you say that I love Adeline?"

"Because you love Adeline."

"How can I love two women at the same time?"

"I don't know," Peter said, "You tell me."

"Stop it. You're just confusing me," Edmund scolded. "I don't love two women at the same time!"

"… If you say so."

Edmund narrowed his eyes. "Why are you so 'understanding' all of a sudden?"

Peter stood up with a sigh. "Everything is foggy right now. It will take time for paths to clear out, so you must wait."

"I know," Edmund rubbed his eyes. "Besides, duty calls and that is more important than the turmoil in my heart."

"What duty?"

"We cannot wait any longer. Estella is not here on a vacation. She has to tell us about how Alfred has treated her and why."

"What if she is not ready?"

"It has been two days," Edmund said. "And hearing her cry and listening to her story would hurt me the most but I cannot put it off any longer. She deserves some justice and so does Kayla – that girl has been through so much."

"I heard," Peter agreed. "Chad and Kayla have been through a lot."

Edmund nodded. "Estella has been tormented for too long and now it is time for her to stand up for her rights."

"You're not going to make her speak right now, are you?" Peter asked. "You're drunk."

"Not now. Tomorrow." Edmund said, dropping down on his bed. "Close the door when you leave."

Peter pulled the covers over her brother, whose eyelids were drooping.

"Pete?" Edmund mumbled.

"Yes?"

"You'll always be there for me, won't you?"

"Always," Peter promised.

"Even when I'm wrong?"

"Even then," Peter smiled. "I'll be there with you to help you correct your mistakes. Now go to sleep."

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There. You'll get to know Estella's story next, as I'm sure you would have guessed.

Until then,

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