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Disclaimer: Merlin belongs to the BBC and the four J's - Julian Jones, Jake Michie, Johnny Capps
and Julian Murphy. It's not mine. If it were, I'd make Merthur canon!

A/N: It's my first Merlin fic – be kind. Sorry I took so long to post this, but getting the non-romancey parts to make sense was like pulling teeth. This chapter almost drove me up a wall. I'm just so thrilled it's finished!

Also, there is nothing more cliché than a double wedding, but I just couldn't resist. And no, it's not Arthur and Merlin's. I wish!

A/N 2: The poultices are a slow acting spell, which is why Merlin isn't affected by it right away, but it's going to happen very soon. It happens in stages over time.

Chapter 25: Last Happy Memory

.~.

That night after his talk with Gwen, Arthur told Merlin how he was feeling about their love life. Merlin had no idea Arthur was feeling that overwhelmed. They decided on no more midday trysts, so that Arthur could concentrate on his work. (It was also probably a good idea for Merlin not to take time away from his students.) They also came to a compromise about the way they spent their 'alone time'. Merlin admitted that he'd craved Arthur's touch but that it didn't have to always be in a sexual way. Merlin thought that Arthur would only make fun of him if he asked for 'cuddle time' so he just kept initializing sexual encounters, since he knew Arthur would respond favorably to that. Arthur was surprised by this, as he thought it was rather evident that he loved holding Merlin close. Merlin realized that he'd been thinking of the Arthur at the beginning of their relationship, who would've teased Merlin and called him a girl. Arthur understood that, but reminded Merlin that he'd changed so much since then, especially after he'd been crowned king. Both men were glad that they'd cleared up their misunderstanding.

Two weeks passed quickly.

During that time, Merlin had found himself getting mad about little things. Luckily, he'd been able to use either the calming spell or he'd excuse himself and harmlessly let out his frustrations on an inanimate object. Arthur was pleased at how well Merlin was dealing with his anger. He told Merlin how proud he was of his progress, which really warmed Merlin to the core. Merlin was really trying hard to control his anger. It seemed like he was getting angry more than he used to, but Merlin didn't have any way to confirm this. He thought about keeping a tally of each day that he felt the intense anger, but decided it wasn't worth it. He was managing his anger just fine.

Since Merlin was putting forth so much effort into channeling his anger, Arthur decided he would put a bit more effort into maintaining their relationship. Sometimes he would leave a thoughtful note for his sorcerer on his bed stand, telling him how much he appreciated his love. He signed it 'Arthur' but didn't address it to Merlin. If anyone happened to come upon it, they would assume that Arthur meant it for Gwen. Merlin didn't hide the notes at the beginning, so Gwen would see them and tease Arthur about how much he'd advanced at expressing his feelings. Needless to say, as much as Merlin loved seeing Arthur blush at Gwen's comments, he took pity on his king and put the notes in a place only he knew about. Arthur was also taking more time out of his busy schedule to spend time with Merlin. Some days he would leave his training sessions early, delegating this responsibility for overseeing the training to whichever knight had proved himself to be extremely capable that day.

This particular day he had given that task to the level-headed Sir Elyan. Free of that obligation for the day, Arthur decided to prepare for a night for himself and Merlin. He had a servant send for his sorcerer at the school, where he knew Merlin and Morgana were pouring over the newly re-discovered books about magic. It was important work, but he knew that Merlin would be happy to have an excuse to take a break.

That morning, Arthur had ordered Merlin's favorite dinner from the kitchens. Their evening meals were delivered to him by Rowan, who for some reason, couldn't wait to run out of the room. The flowers that he'd ordered earlier had arrived during his training session. He'd managed to find forget-me-nots from a gardener in the lower town, which were Merlin's favorite flower. Arthur's final touch was to close the drapes and arrange extra candles so that they could eat by candlelight. He finished lighting the candles and stepped back to admire his work. Their dinners had grown cold but Merlin could easily warm them with his magic. Other than that, everything was perfect.

As he waited for Merlin to arrive, Arthur pulled out Ygraine's diary and turned to the next unread entry. He knew that Merlin loved to read the diary with him in bed, and they'd been so busy that they'd gotten out of the habit lately. Arthur thought that it might be a good activity for them to partake in, where he would have a good excuse to hold Merlin close.

It didn't take long before Merlin came home. The warlock was tired from a long day at the school. He entered the room, closing the door behind him but he hadn't noticed the setting yet. "I had an interesting day, Arthur. Morgana and I discovered a book that told all about the-" Merlin's voice trailed off as he realized what awaited him.

Arthur was awaiting him at the table, which was boasting his favorite meal of chicken dumplings and sautéed onions and leeks in wine sauce, as well as cherry pie for dessert. The smell assaulted Merlin's nostrils and his mouth began to water.

"You got my favorite food," Merlin whispered, touched by the gesture. He then noticed the atmosphere, how dark it was and the candles that illuminated the room.

"You did all this for me? What's the occasion?" Merlin wracked his brain but he couldn't come up with anything. He knew it wasn't Arthur's birthday. He hoped he hadn't forgotten some important date.

"Do I need an occasion to show you how I feel about you?" Arthur grinned at Merlin, who was uncharacteristically speechless. The king pulled out Merlin's chair, and the sorcerer eagerly took his seat at the table. He was about to take a huge bite of chicken when he saw the flowers.

"You got me forget-me-nots." Merlin felt a lump in his throat. "But they're not even in season!"

"I have many contacts and informants who can get me pretty much anything," was all that Arthur said.

"This is really nice, with the food and the flowers and the candles and everything. I love it." Merlin gave Arthur a true smile, and Arthur puffed out his chest with pride. He was glad that he'd decided to go to all the trouble, for a reaction like that.

"You're welcome," said Arthur. "You're worth it."

They had a nice dinner, chatting easily about the events of the day. Merlin spoke of his day at school and his experiences in teaching his students the calming spell. Several of them tried it and it had sent them straight to sleep. Merlin thought this was hilarious, although he didn't say so at the time. He advised his students not to try the spell unless they were feeling out of sorts, since if you were feeling normally, it could relax you so much that you fell asleep. He and Arthur had had a good laugh at that.

Arthur told Merlin about his training and how he liked giving extra responsibilities to Sir Elyan. With Lancelot gone, Arthur had been looking for someone who could be his right hand man, someone he could always count on to have his back. He believed he found what he was looking for in Elyan, who, as Gwen's brother, was incredibly grateful to him for everything that Arthur had done for her. They made a good team, guarding each other's backs as they practiced dispatching the rest of the knights one by one.

Merlin had a fleeting jealous thought, as he and only he wanted to be the one to fight at Arthur's side. Then he realized that this wouldn't always be possible, and that he should be grateful to Elyan for looking after Arthur. The sorcerer tried to figure out why he'd felt this jealousy, as Elyan was no threat to their relationship. Elyan had no interest in men, so why had Merlin felt this way? But then Arthur changed the subject, and the thought was forgotten.

After they had finished their dinner, Arthur suggested that they move this to the bed so they could read his mother's diary. Merlin was agreeable, and they quickly settled in under the covers. Arthur began to read aloud and Merlin began to relax, happy to listen to his king's voice as he told the next part of Ygraine and Uther's romance.

Entry Seven

I can't believe I haven't written before now! It's just been a whirlwind of events that I've been swept up in. After a month of courtship, Uther asked me to marry him. Of course, I said yes! My father sent a considerable dowry, but Uther didn't keep it, swearing to me that it didn't matter to him how much money he was given for me. He distributed it to those in the lower town who needed it most. After that gesture, I knew for certain that he was the man for me.

"That's a relief," said Merlin. "I'd thought about that, about the dowry and what Uther might do with it. I assumed he'd just add it to the royal treasury."

"Obviously my father knew how much that would bother Ygraine," said Arthur. "He knew that my mother didn't want to be bought, and he gave away the dowry to prove the point that he didn't agree with that custom."

"I'm lucky I didn't have to come up with a dowry for us to be together," said Merlin.

"There isn't a dowry large enough to cover the cost of putting up with you," said the king, but then he kissed Merlin's forehead and the sorcerer paid Arthur's words no mind. They read on.

The best part about the upcoming wedding was that Ruadhán and Hannah had also just been betrothed. Uther suggested that we have a double wedding with them, and they agreed! I could not contain my joy that my handmaiden and best friend was going to share in the happiest day of my life. I knew that Uther was also thrilled that he'd get to share the day with his Court Sorcerer and good friend. Our wedding was going to be cause for even more celebration!

"I didn't know my father had a double wedding," said Arthur. "I wonder why he never told me that?"

"Maybe he didn't think the detail was important?" Merlin suggested.

"Maybe. It's just that I've never heard anything about Hannah or Ruadhán. I think that's strange since they were both such close friends to my parents," said Arthur. "Don't you think that's strange?"

"It's a little weird," said Merlin, but he wasn't stuck on this particular detail. They continued reading.

The wedding was held in the throne room. I wore a periwinkle dress, the color symbolizing purity. The neckline was a little bit lower than I would usually wear, but any discomfort on my part was worth it when I saw the awed look on Uther's face. My father walked me down the aisle and handed me over to Uther, symbolically passing the responsibility of caring for me from himself to my soon-to-be husband. Uther took my hands in his, and the ceremony was off and running.

The ceremony was long and to be honest, a little bit boring. But it didn't matter. I just stared into Uther's eyes, getting lost in his gaze as the priest droned on and on. I remember we did receive a prayer to be blessed for children. Uther squeezed my hands then, as we both desperately wanted children – not just for the good of the kingdom but because we wanted to be parents and experience all that came with that.

"See, Arthur? They wanted you, and not just because they needed to have a child," said Merlin.

"Interesting," said the young king, sounding oddly detached. Arthur tried to play it off like nothing important had happened, but Merlin knew better. Arthur wasn't very good at hiding his insecurities around him. He'd often wondered if he'd been born just to fulfill the need to have an heir. His mother's words firmly put this myth to rest. "It's a relief to hear that," Arthur mumbled.

"I know," said Merlin, holding Arthur's hand in his as they returned to the story.

When it was time for the vows, we repeated the standard promises, that we'd be there for each other in good times and bad, in sickness and in health, for rich or for poor. I almost laughed at that – as if we'd ever be poor. We exchanged rings, the priest pronounced us husband and wife, and we kissed in front of everyone. Just like that, we were married. We watched while Hannah and Ruadhán exchanged their vows and suddenly the wedding was over. Then it was on to the feast, which was the fun part.

The feast is definitely the fun part," Arthur agreed. "I think it's bold of her to admit that."

"I think most people feel the same way," said Merlin. "They just don't ever say it."

"Then why all the formal wedding nonsense?" Arthur wondered.

"Because if you can sit through all that, you can make it as a married couple."

Arthur frowned at Merlin. "What?"

Merlin shook with laughter. "I'm just making things up. I have no idea why weddings have to be so boring until the very end when the interesting stuff happens." They quickly read through the last part.

We left the throne room and took refuge in the gardens while the servants prepared the hall for the banquet. Hannah was pleased that she got to enjoy the feast, and not have to attend just as a servant. When it was time, we returned to the throne room and we were announced as husband and wife. I technically wasn't queen yet, as there was a whole separate ceremony for that, but Uther whispered into my ear that, in his eyes, I already was his queen. I blushed, but I was quite pleased by his remark.

That night there was food, wine, speeches, and dancing. Dancing with Uther was effortless, as we'd both grown up with the custom. We danced well together, while poor Ruadhán and Hannah had to struggle not to step on each other's toes. Still, I could tell that it didn't dampen their happiness. That was what I felt for Uther, that nothing could ever dampen my spirits. I knew we'd have difficult times ahead – all couples did. But at that moment, I felt like as long as we were together, we could conquer the world.

"Aw, no mention of the wedding night," said Merlin, sighing with disappointment as they laid the diary aside.

"Thank goodness," said Arthur. "I wouldn't want to read about that. They're my parents! Gross."

He then initiated a tickle fight with Merlin, which led to a lot of wrestling and laughing. When they had finally calmed down, Arthur pulled Merlin close as they stretched out on the bed. They laid there for a while, just basking in each other's presence.

"What you did for me tonight meant so much." Merlin turned over to face his king. He took Arthur's face in his hands and gently caressed his cheeks. "I love you, Arthur."

"I love you," Arthur replied as he ran his fingers through Merlin's dark hair.

"I love you no matter what," Merlin whispered.

"You know I feel the same," said Arthur. "You're my everything."

They stayed that way, gently touching, until Gwen came to bed.

Arthur didn't know it, but this night was the last time the king would remember Merlin acting like himself.

.~.

As the days passed since the misunderstanding between Caelia, Bruin, and the knights Caradoc and Pelleas, relations between the knights and the magic users had been strained at best. In the outlying villages, there had been a few skirmishes between the magical population and the knights that were sworn to protect all the people. No one had been killed, but the magically inclined were dreading the day that a death would be reported.

Two days after Arthur and Merlin's candlelight dinner, disaster struck once again. Bruin, in a gesture of good faith, was having dinner with Sir Caradoc's son, Hadrian, and his wife. The couple had reached out to the magician, and invited him to their home. Hadrian wanted to get to know the man who had been involved in THE INCIDENT, as everyone in Camelot was calling it these days. Hadrian wanted to make peace between Bruin and his family, and Bruin was willing to accept that olive branch. Sir Caradoc had no idea that this dinner was taking place, but Hadrian was planning on informing him of it the next morning.

The night of their dinner, Bruin learned that Hadrian was currently in training to become a knight like his father. However, unlike his father, he had no prejudices against magic users, as he'd grown up with a friend who had the gift and had to keep it secret. His wife felt the same way, as she too had known magic users who only wanted to use their magic for good. Bruin looked forward to the future days when younger and wiser men were allowed to join the knights. When that happened, he hoped there would be fewer misunderstandings between the knights and the magic users.

When the three of them had finished their dinner and moved to the kitchen to clean up, Bruin knocked over a candle without realizing it. They eventually smelled something burning and rushed into the other room. The table was already ablaze, the flames licking their way across the floor over to the drapes by the window. Bruin looked around in vain for water, but there was none. Immediately, Hadrian sent his wife to the well to bring back water and gather others who would help her.

That was when Hadrian begged Bruin to use his magic to put out the fire. Bruin tried with all his might, but he couldn't produce water from thin air. He just wasn't that powerful – only someone with Merlin's level of magic could do such a thing. After saving a few prize possessions, Bruin and Hadrian admitted defeat and left the house. Then they went around to the surrounding homes to alert the other residents that a fire was coming, as the wind was helping the fire to spread to the other dwellings.

It wasn't long before Hadrian's wife returned with a full bucket of water and gotten other people to do the same. Unfortunately, the fire had continued to spread, and the bucketfuls of water barely made a dent in the flames. It seemed as though fate were conspiring against them.

Bruin then sent Hadrian to run to the castle and find Merlin, who was capable of extinguishing the fire. (Of the two men, Hadrian was the faster runner as he was in good shape thanks to all the training he was doing to become a knight.) After telling Bruin to look after his wife while he was gone, Hadrian departed to get help. Bruin watched with a heavy heart as the house that had recently played host to him burned brightly in the night. The fire had spread so fast that it was too late for them to use water to put it out; the fire would just have to run its course. Bruin knew Hadrian and his wife wouldn't blame him for what happened, as it had been an accident, but he still felt guilty. He knew that it was his fault for knocking over the candle, as he'd been the last one to leave the room.

A crowd soon gathered, made up of the people who lived nearby who saw the blaze. They asked what had happened and Bruin took full responsibility for causing the fire and not being able to stop it from getting out of control. Then they asked why he couldn't put out the fire using magic. Bruin tried to explain to them that he didn't have that kind of power, but most of the people didn't believe him.

Several of them blamed him for starting the fire on purpose so that he could have his revenge against Sir Caradoc's family. Bruin pleaded that this wasn't the case, but most of the people didn't want to hear it. Instead of listening to Bruin, many of them capitalized on this idea of him getting revenge with the knight who had almost inadvertently killed his fiancée. They began taunting Bruin about his lack of magical abilities, daring him to put out the fire, and accusing him of starting the fire on purpose. Bruin said nothing, as he couldn't prove his innocence. It wasn't long before things turned physical. His tormentors goaded Bruin to fight back, but he refused. Merlin had told his students that any action that one of them took would reflect negatively on the magical community, and Bruin wasn't willing to risk that.

Bruin steeled himself for the blows to come, and resolved not to struggle. Two men held him down, and one by one, members of the crowd took out their frustrations on the poor man. A few women slapped his face, and the men left it battered and bruised. Bruin spied two female magic users in the crowd coming to help him, but he caught their eye and shook his head. He didn't want any more of his kind getting involved, especially innocent women who were friends with his Caelia Bruin didn't know how long this treatment had gone on; surely he should've blacked out by now. Just when he thought he couldn't take the pain any longer, he heard a familiar voice cry out,

"What's going on here?!" This voice radiated with volume and power, so that all that heard it took notice.

"It's Lord Merlin! He's come to help us!" Cries of recognition spread through the crowd as Merlin headed toward Bruin. Hadrian stood beside the warlock, who had been summoned from the castle. He hoped that the Court Sorcerer would put a swift end to the fire, and the mistreatment of Bruin.

"Please, my lord, put out the fire before any more of our houses burn!" Asked one of the men who was holding down Bruin.

"Only after you release him." Merlin's tone was quite severe, and Bruin's captors dared not test it. They gently let him down, allowing him to stand on his own two feet.

"I'm alright, Merlin," Bruin quietly insisted, as the warlock had yet done nothing to quell the blaze.

Only after he saw that Bruin was out of danger did Merlin use his magic to produce enough water to douse the fire.

"Thank you, my lord!" Cried one of the men who'd been holding Bruin.

"We're saved!" Cries of appreciation rumbled throughout the crowd, who a few minutes ago, had been so intent on torturing Bruin. How fickle did their allegiances lie, as both Bruin and Merlin had magic. Only when Merlin used his gift to save their homes did they cheer.

"I want you to tell me exactly what happened here," Merlin said tightly, his hand pointing toward the peasants in question.

"We found ol' Bruin here," said the man. "He was just idly standing by, watching as Hadrian's house burned."

"He admitted it, didn't he?" Added the other man. "We heard it from his own mouth that he'd caused the fire."

"Accidentally caused," Bruin interjected. "I didn't mean for it to happen!"

"He wouldn't use his magic to stop the fire," the first man insisted.

"Bruin does not have the power to stop a large fire like that," said Merlin. "I'm sure of that. If he'd been able to stop it, he would have."

"I'm not so sure, since he was with Sir Caradoc's son," said the second man. "It's not hard to put two and two together."

Merlin's anger spiked when he heard the accusation, that Bruin had started the fire to get revenge on Sir Caradoc. He tried the calming spell, but it didn't help.

"Bruin would never want to harm Sir Caradoc's family!" The young warlock visibly shook with anger. He knew he needed to leave to deal with his anger in a safe way, but his feet wouldn't move. The magic had to escape him somehow. Merlin's magic took hold of him and all the warlock could think to do is to have the release of power avoid the people.

A few seconds later, a burning anvil unexplainably fell off the table in the nearby blacksmith's shop. The clank spooked several horses that had been loosely tied up. The frightened horses broke their ties and took off. They ran towards an unsuspecting mother holding her infant. Time slowed and Merlin saw the danger before it could happen. He magicked the woman and child out of the way just in time before they were trampled.

After the crowd saw how Merlin had saved the mother and baby, and sung his praises a second time, they quickly dispersed. The crying mother thanked Merlin for saving her, vowing that she was forever in his debt. Merlin was able to shake her off, telling her that he had one of his students to attend to.

Bruin looked a sight, with a black eye, a swollen lip, and countless bruises. Merlin, Hadrian, and his wife crowded around the battered man as they helped him to sit down on the cool cobblestones.

"Bruin what were you thinking!? Why did you let them go so far? Why didn't you defend yourself?" Merlin had to know.

Bruin was taken aback by Merlin's reaction. He thought that his teacher would've been proud of him for the way he acted. "Because you told us that any action we did would reflect on the entire magical community. I didn't want to jeopardize that."

Merlin looked pained. "I appreciate your efforts, but when I said that, I didn't mean for you to allow yourself to be beaten to a pulp!"

"I'm sorry if I've displeased you," Bruin murmured. "I was only doing what I thought was right."

"No, you haven't displeased me. In fact, just the opposite. I thought you were very brave," said Merlin as a lump began to form in his throat. He hated the sight of one of his favorite and most talented students in such pain. "It's just that this whole situation with the knights and the non-magical folk just seems to get worse and worse. Who knows what people will do tomorrow when they hear this news?" He didn't want to think about that, and how he'd almost added to the problem by allowing his anger to get the best of him. What would Arthur say?

"Shall I help you take him to the castle?" Hadrian asked, bringing Merlin out of his stupor.

"Yes, thank you," said Merlin.

"No, Merlin, thank you," said Bruin, as they began to slowly make their way to the castle. "I don't know what would've happened to me if you hadn't arrived when you did."

"I only wish I'd arrived sooner," Merlin confessed. "I'll do my best to heal you, but I'll send for a few healers as well. You've got a lot of nasty bruises and scrapes."

.~.

Merlin was true to his word – he healed most of the bruises, leaving the rest for the healers. When he was done with this whole mess, he headed straight for the king's chambers. Arthur was waiting for him and asked what had just occurred in the lower town. He gave a quick report on what had happened with Bruin, the fire, and the crowd. When he was finished, Arthur continued to stare at him. Merlin looked away, unnerved by Arthur's stare.

"There's something else, isn't there?" Arthur asked, narrowing his eyes at his sorcerer. "Merlin. What aren't you telling me?"

"Why does there have to be anything else?" Inwardly, Merlin was panicking. How was he supposed to tell Arthur about his loss of control? What would the king do when he found out?

"Because you won't hold my gaze," Arthur said calmly. "It's how I know you're keeping something from me."

Merlin knew then that he had to tell Arthur the truth about that had happened, about how angry he'd become. So he did. He then explained that the anger had started when one of the men had accused Bruin of using the fire to get revenge on Sir Caradoc. His guilt was evident as he told Arthur about how he took out his frustrations on the nearby anvil, and the chain of events that followed.

"And that's what happened," Merlin concluded. "I'm sorry, Arthur. But, on the bright side, no one got hurt. Please, just can we move past it?"

"No, we bloody well can't just move past it!" Arthur gaped at him. "Merlin, this is serious. You can't just apologize for this and expect everything to be fine! A woman and child were almost killed thanks to your actions. I thought you had it under control," Arthur said quietly.

"So did I!" Merlin insisted, his voice rising with every word. "I can't explain what happened. It just did. Arthur, I SWEAR I DIDN'T MEAN TO!"

"Please, there's no need to raise your voice," Arthur soothed. "I forgive you." They had gotten into a petty squabble the day before and he didn't want to fight right now, or risk another magical outburst. He needed some time to digest what had happened, and what he should do about Merlin's behavior. "You're tired; we can table this discussion until tomorrow."

"Thank you," Merlin said gratefully. "I just want to get some sleep."

Arthur slowly nodded. He decided to keep things light. There was no need to provoke Merlin any further. "You made a mistake. You're right - it's a good thing that no one got hurt. But I want you to promise me that you're going to take steps to learn to manage your anger."

"I'll work on it more with Morgana. She's been really helpful," said Merlin. He sounded a bit vague for Arthur's tastes, but the king let that go for now.

"I'm glad." Arthur looked at Merlin with the utmost affection, although inwardly he was really worried about Merlin's recent behavior. "I know it must be difficult being the most powerful warlock in the land," Arthur mused. "If you're having troubles, there's no one more powerful than you that can help or give you advice."

"That's one downside," said Merlin. "But there's a lot of perks, too. Inspiring a generation of magic users. Becoming Court Sorcerer. Sharing my life with you."

"We'll get through this, Merlin," Arthur vowed, trying to sound positive for Merlin's sake as he took his sorcerer in his arms for what was meant to be a reassuring hug. "I'll bet we'll have you sorted after a few weeks."

Neither of them had no way of knowing just how off the mark Arthur's prediction would be.

.~.

End Chapter 25

A/N: Yay I got 100 reviews! I'm so excited I look forward to more to come, so let me know what you think of the chapter!