Here you go, Chase fangirls, what you've been waiting so patiently for begins with this chapter :P sorta.
I want you to realise
How I feel about you
Can we begin again?
Bittersweet
Holly shivered as she left the warmth of the Chiffon Tailors. The cooler Autumn weather was both a blessing and a curse; it made her farm work much more tolerable, and the crops thrived in the balanced temperature, but this wind was just too darn cold!
Only one more bouquet to deliver, she reminded herself, then, the rest of the evening was hers.
It had started on a whim, buying a packet of blue mist flower seeds in hopes that it would liven up her property a little more. Soon, she discovered her talent – the blossoms sprouted quickly, growing large and vibrant. The farm became immersed in a heavenly sweet scent.
But what to do with all the flowers? Initially, Holly had considered perfume, but quickly deemed the process too complicated and rather heart-breaking; she couldn't bear to see the petals mattered and destroyed. This also ruled out making dyes. Then, after finding an old ball of twine in the barn, the idea came to her: creating bouquets and other ornamental displays.
There wasn't much she could do with only one type of flower nor did she have any idea what flower arranging even entailed. Her first bouquets were too plain, too unrefined. Everything paid off, though, when she'd passed her creations around town. The townspeople smiled and thanked her, making her heart soar – their day had been brightened, if only for a little while. The very next day, Holly found herself returning to the Souffle Farm to buy more seeds: cosmoses, roses, chrysanthemums and moondrop flowers. She even ended up borrowing a book on floral meanings from the Town Hall library – the first person to do so in over five years.
As a farmer, Holly would never be able to compete with the Souffle Farm's fruits and vegetables, but perhaps she had a future in floristry? It didn't hurt to try! Having a new goal to work towards, especially one that was hers alone, gave Holly more confidence. And the timing couldn't have been better.
The paved pathway had been carpeted by fallen leaves of crimson, orange and gold. It crunched under Holly's feet as she walked briskly down the street, towards the Sundae Inn.
Holly turned the door handle and immediately felt welcomed by the warmth, both in the air and the smiles of the people around her. Maya and Kathy waved her over; she signalled back that she'd be just a minute.
"Good evening, Holly," Jake greeted as she approached the front desk, "What can I do for you?"
"I've brought some flowers for you," She explained happily, retrieving her last bouquet.
Jake's expression brightened and he brought the flowers to his nose, "Oh, roses, they're Colleen's favourite! I dabble in gardening myself, and I can tell you're getting quite good at this."
"Does this mean I should start charging for my hard work?" Holly teased. Jake just laughed heartily.
With her work now officially completed, Holly could allow herself to relax. She weaved through the tables, throwing the odd 'Hello's to the familiar faces who called out to her, until she reached her waitress friends who sat at the bar, chatting away. It seemed she'd walked in on something serious – the younger of the two had her eyes lowered, lips pouted sulkily.
"Hey there, done for the day?" Kathy said, before she could question anything.
"Yep!" – Holly's stomach chose that opportune moment to growl loudly – "And I'm definitely ready for dinner," She giggled.
Maya suddenly slumped over on the countertop, sighing heavily.
Holly and Kathy exchanged a look. "What's up Maya?" The farmer asked.
"Everyone has a date for the Moon Viewing Festival except for me! I'm going to have to go with my family again…" Maya moaned, burying her head deeper into her arms. She received a consoling pat on the back. "Well… I guess that's not so bad. Grandma makes the best dumplings."
Holly laughed, "I don't have a date either."
It had the opposite effect. Kathy averted her gaze. Maya shot up out of her chair. "Oh gosh, I'm so sorry! I have such a big mouth!" She cried.
Her reply was automatic, "It's okay."
Even though months had passed, everyone still looked at her in sympathy, still tip-toed around the subject as if walking on eggshells.
Holly couldn't deny that, for the better part of a month, crying had become her new favourite past-time. She'd managed to keep it together when she and Calvin had said their final goodbyes, but as she watched the boat disappear into the horizon, the tears began and didn't stop. The next day, she'd spent two hours on the phone crying to Angela (after spending half an hour crying to Kevin). Then, Kathy and Maya turned up on her doorstep with ice cream and cookies, setting her off again. Sometimes she'd just burst into tears while watering or grooming her cow, startling Finn and whoever else was around. But the worst trigger by far had been the photograph; it had arrived in the mail a few weeks later.
That photo had captured so much. How Calvin seemed so detached from the moment, eyes unfocused and the smile on his face too strained. And Holly hadn't noticed a thing. Unable to rip it up, she stuffed the picture into an old tin and banished it to a dark corner of the cupboard above her stove – there, it would never see the light of day again.
Time was supposed to heal old wounds, but for Holly, it didn't seem to be doing much. A month later, Holly still awoke with swollen eyes and a tearstained pillow, feeling emotionally and physically exhausted. Then finally, a week ago, she made another promise to herself: if she lasted the whole seven days without shedding a tear, she will have moved on for good.
Today was day six.
"So how about that food, huh? I'm starving!" Holly suggested, breaking the sombre mood. She breezed over to the nearest unoccupied table.
Maya handed her a menu card, "Grandma came up with a bunch of new dishes!"
Her eyes scanned the list, each option sounding even better than the last. "Mmm, I think I'll try the sweet potato and spinach risotto with the lamb cutlet this time. Ooh, and a slice of pumpkin pie for dessert. With ice cream."
"And anything to drink?"
Holly opened up to the alcohol menu. Time for a little treat. "A raspberry cocktail, thanks."
Kathy began to fill her in on the day's gossip, while Maya went by the counter to drop off the order. According to Owen (who heard it from Julius, who had been present at the time of the event), Doctor Jin paid a visit to the Accessory and Jewellery Store that morning. He had asked Mira to show him a selection of her hand-crafted rings – three guesses what he needed a ring for.
The food arrived in no time at all, which was impressive since Yolanda had no extra hands helping her tonight; she truly was an excellent cook. Holly practically inhaled her meal, barely stopping to savour the taste. When dessert made it to the table and she dug in, even Maya was looking a little sickened by the rate she gulped each mouthful down.
Kathy chuckled uneasily, "Geez Holly, try to chew your food."
"I'm hungry!" She said, in between bites.
"You've been eating a lot lately," Maya noted, "And you look tired all the time."
Holly waved her spoon around, "That's because I've been working non-stop. Sometimes I don't finish until six."
It was the waitresses' turn to share a disbelieving glance. "Are you sure that's it?" Maya persisted.
Rolling her eyes, Holly went to take a drink of her cocktail, but Kathy swiftly plucked it out of her reach.
"Hey!" She said indignantly, "…Why are you guys looking at me like that?"
Kathy leant in, lowering her voice, "Holly… are you pregnant?"
For a minute, she was too shocked to even reply, but as she looked from Kathy to Maya – who both had the most serious expressions she'd ever seen – the laughter bubbled up in her throat and almost made her choke. "No!" She gasped out.
Kathy placed a hand on her shoulder, "You don't have to hide it from us. We're your friends, we'll help you!"
"Trust me, I'm not." Holly dabbed her eyes, "Besides, Calvin went out of his way to make sure that would never happen."
The mood quickly changed, growing tense again.
Holly pushed her unfinished dessert away and gave an exasperated sigh, "Look, you guys, I'm fine. It's been two months. I'm moving on… no, I've already moved on!"
"You're right," Kathy murmured with an apologetic smile, "And as your friends, we should be helping you. We have to get you a date to the Moon Viewing Festival!"
"What about me?" Maya piped up.
"Don't worry, we'll find one for you too Maya."
Holly downed the rest of her cocktail. "I think I'm going to need another drink first."
"It wouldn't be anything serious," Kathy had dismissed when the farmer began to object, two more cocktails later, "Just friends having fun." But still, with every name she suggested, it just didn't feel right. Not that there were a lot of names to suggest. With Jin, Toby and Owen already taken, that left Gill, Luke, Julius and… well, Kathy had been cut off before she could mention that last name. At this rate, Holly was considering going by herself – though not completely by herself, she'd have Finn of course – or not going at all. Some quality alone time at home was always good for the soul.
Some time later, Holly managed to escape, using an early bedtime as an excuse. She stepped out into the night, the cool breeze coming as a much needed relief. She didn't get two feet away from the inn though, needing to sit down on the raised brick garden bed outside. Her stomach felt queasy; shouldn't have eaten so fast after all.
The door swung open, and the different temperatures in air mingled briefly before it fell closed. Shuffling footsteps scraped against the pavement as the person moved into her line of sight. She kept her eyes low, seeing only sandaled feet and blue-grey slacks.
"H-Hey… Holly."
Her gaze remained focused on the pavement.
It had taken a whole week for Holly to, as Kathy put it, rejoin the land of the living after Calvin left. One Saturday, she'd allowed the blonde waitress to lead her to the Sundae Inn – even in her zombified state, the promise of a home-cooked meal, especially one not made entirely of sugar, was too tempting to resist. Once they got there, she actually started to feel better; it was nice to have a place to go to where she felt unconditionally accepted.
Somewhere between the first course and dessert, Chase had emerged from the kitchen. Holly had noticed that he wasn't dressed in his apron, which was odd. He turned around and the pieces fell into place. A handsome face no longer, now it was swollen, mangled and discoloured shades of brown and blue.
Her first reaction had been to cry. Then she'd slapped him across the face.
"Please… talk to me," He uttered.
She hated that she felt a twinge of pity, strong enough to make her give in, "What do you want?"
Chase was quiet for a while, "I just… I wanted to say… so-something."
"You've had months to say something."
"I've been trying! But you wouldn't listen," He shot back.
"This is my fault now?" Forgetting about her stomach, Holly sprang to her feet, fury surging through her veins, "I can't believe this!"
Why did she even bother giving him so many chances? She pushed past him, intending to head home without looking back.
"Holly, wait–" Chase caught her arm.
It was if she'd touched fire. She yanked her arm away and took a few steps forward, before she reconsidered. She spun around, ridged with anger, "I want… wanted to be your friend, Chase, but you told me to stay away from you. So I did."
"…I didn't mean it."
"Then why did you say it? It hurt me… I thought I did something wrong…" Holly closed her eyes, "I don't even know how I'm supposed to act around you anymore Chase! One minute you're a nice guy, and then the next… it's like it meant nothing!"
Her voice rang through the street. Even the Sundae Inn seemed to have gone completely silent.
Chase opened his mouth, but like always, nothing came out.
She should've known. "I need to get home–"
He stopped her again, hand on forearm, gripping so tightly that his fingernails were digging into her skin.
"I'm so sorry Holly, for everything," Chase whispered.
"I find that hard to believe," She hissed.
"Look, can we… take a walk or something, please?"
Her breaths became unsteady. "What for?"
His grip finally eased. "Because… I don't want us to be like this."
Holly went quiet, staring at her blurry shoes. She forced herself to meet his eyes again.
"…Okay."
Although it had been Chase's suggestion, Holly was the one who found herself in the lead, unsure of exactly where she was going and regretting her decision more and more with every step. Chase followed behind quietly – too quietly, she had to look back a few times to make sure he hadn't disappeared – until they reached the Maple Lake District. There, he broke away from the main road, began crossing the browning grass and stopped when he'd reached the lakeside. Holly eyed the path which veered off to the right; maybe she could make a run for it?
Her conscience disagreed. Sighing softly, she came up beside him.
Their gazes focused on the little details around them: the drooping reeds, the dim water that looked almost black, the pale crescent moon reflected weakly off its surface.
When Chase spoke, it clashed against the serenity of the scene. "I'm not… I'm no good at this stuff. Friendship stuff. Socialising in general, actually."
"I can see that," Holly muttered.
He faltered.
"Why did you attack Calvin?" She demanded.
Violet eyes looked off to the side. "He got me fired."
"No, you got yourself fired." Maya had explained it all: that after Chase and Calvin fought in the Sundae Inn's dining room, Yolanda had fired her apprentice, only to take pity on him and rehire him as a busboy when he wouldn't stop coming into work. "Temporarily."
"So he got me demoted. He insulted my food. Called my hairclips girly."
Holly arched an eyebrow.
"But the real truth is, I was… I was jealous," He finally admitted.
Her mouth fell open. "Why?"
"Because… I don't know. You were my friend first, and… when I saw you with Calvin, I just… you got along so well with him. He didn't even have to try to make you happy." The faint moonlight deepened the shadows that fell across his face as his head lowered. He wrapped a protective arm around his middle. "And me? All I ever did was make you sad."
Holly suddenly felt too warm to be standing outside in the cool Autumn night. "T-That still doesn't explain why you attacked him," She forced out.
"He hurt you. So I wanted to hurt him." His lips pulled into a crooked smile, "But that didn't work very well in my favour."
Again, the words were automatic. "He never hurt me."
Chase glanced at her, "He left, didn't he?"
"You don't know anything… about what we had," Holly retorted, voice cracking.
"I know. I was dumb." Chase sighed and let his gaze drop again, running a hand through his hair, "I'm sorry Holly. I've been such an idiot. You were the only person left who was willing to put up with me, but I still pushed you away."
The tears were beginning to prick at her eyelids. She looked upwards, at the trees, the houses, the moon, anything but him.
A few moments passed. "If… if you don't want to be friends anymore, then…"
Her words surprised them both.
"No. I do."
The next second, Chase was closer. His arms wrapped around her waist, pulled her to his chest. A part of her couldn't forgive him so soon, but she felt torn, becoming lost in the heat of another person, something her heart had been missing and longing for. His scent made her head swim. The combination of citrus and spice was more familiar than it should've been.
"You can hit me again if you want," He murmured.
Holly laughed sadly into the fabric of his dark shirt, "I think you've learnt your lesson."
It seemed like an eternity passed before he released her, and another one passed before anything was said. The farmer wanted desperately to go home, to fall into bed and cry into her pillow again, but Chase wouldn't leave her side. As if walking her to her house would be penance enough for his behaviour the past season.
The farm entrance came into view and Holly had to suppress another urge to run.
"We're more alike than you think, Holly," Chase said, when they were halfway to the house.
Her eyes were trained on the distance. Just a few more feet to go. "What do you mean?"
"I see straight through you."
"Now you sound creepy," She said, only half joking.
"I pretend to be a nice guy when I'm not. You pretend to be happy when you're not," He explained.
"How do you know I'm not happy?" Holly asked sceptically, "I've started my own business and it's turned out to be a great success."
Chase shrugged, "I know that when you go home and you're alone, you sulk and probably even cry yourself asleep."
Holly came to an abrupt stop, "Have you been stalking me?"
This earned a chuckle, "No. But you're so predictable."
"I haven't been sulking. Or crying," She muttered offhandedly, as she dug around in her pocket for her key. Found it! Her fingers triumphantly clutched the silver object.
They were at her front door now. Her hand was inches from the doorknob.
"Do you love Calvin?"
The question startled her; her house key fell from her hold, clattering against the concrete step. She laughed it off as she knelt down. "I only knew him for a few months."
Chase rested his shoulder against the door, arms folded across his chest, "So? Time has nothing to do with love."
Holly's head rose so quickly, her neck twinged in protest. That was the last thing she'd ever expected to hear out of his mouth.
"Well?"
She swallowed to loosen her dry throat. "Actually… I don't know." Her breathing hitched, body beginning to tremble. Tears splattered down her cheeks, and she tried in vain to wipe them away. "I never even… gave myself the chance to."
Fingers touched her hair. "If you keep bursting into tears around me, I'm going to take it personally one day."
"I-I'm sorry," Holly said to the cracked doorstep, "I thought I could handle this…"
Chase got to his knees, and suddenly his arms were around her again. Her tears bled into his shirt. "He's an idiot for leaving you," He said softly.
Everyone thought that, but no one knew the truth.
"No…" Holly lifted her tearful gaze so she could look him in the eye, "I'm the idiot for letting him go."