Chapter 25: The First Kill

Quicknote: There is a music track that I believe fits well with one part of the story. When you see the bold link, it is recommended you copy the link and place it in a second tab. The song is fast paced and you may not be able to visualize the scene fast enough to read it at first, so read the part of the story and listen to the song after you have the scene in your head. The song Suffocate is not mine, but I found it a fitting song for the scene. All rights of the song belong to Adam Roth. Enjoy. :-)

Thirty minutes after returning to the Normandy, Tali nervously stepped on the elevator from the cargo hold. Her hands couldn't stop fidgeting. She tried to calm down but she couldn't. Was it just shock from her first kill, or was she afraid she might do something stupid listening to Shepard's stories?

Tali shuddered at the thoughts. Remembering the body slummed on the floor as she pulled the trigger; the fact that she held the power to take someone's life, the reality had hit her like the mako slamming into a geth armature. Shepard was right. She wasn't ready. As for Shepard, it became clear to Tali that his first kill must've affected him in a way no one could've anticipated hence the sad look in his eyes every time someone he kills dies.

The elevator finally opened and Zach nearly ran into Tali as she tried to leave to meet him.

"Tali." Zach spoke, surprise in his tone. "I was just about to get you."

"I thought I'd come up early, Shepard. Everything looked all right in the engine room."

"You okay? I almost ran you over. I didn't mean to do that."

"I'm okay. Sort of."

"You're nervous, aren't you?"

"Uh, yes, I think. I'm either nervous or still shaken up about what happened on Nepheron. I don't know. My mind's all confused and I just can't stop thinking about everything and..." Tali twirled her fingers. "And I'm talking too much."

"I don't mind. You've had a lot going on recently. You were tired, homesick, and now you're shaken up. That's why I invited you up." Zach led Tali back to his cabin again for the second time in a matter of hours. Taking two bottles off of his office desk, he offered one to Tali.

"What's this?"

"It's dextro-Voltage. I thought it'd be best to keep you off of the good stuff. No offense, but you seem like the type of girl who couldn't hold her liquor."

"I think I could handle the good stuff."

"I don't think you could. I want my crew at full operating capacity. If you're passed out on the floor, you wouldn't be much help to the ship."

Tali sighed. "I guess you have a point." She connected the tube to her mask and waited for the seals to clamp down. "It's purified?"

"Triple-filtered. Calypso likes to let the galaxy know their product is safe."

Tali took a gulp of the drink and found herself enjoying the contents. It had a fruity taste, but it also felt a little fizzy. "This is good. I wish they served this on the fleet."

"I'm glad you like it." Zach took a gulp from his own tube. "Now, I think it's time I tell you about my first kill. You know how Stark hates me now?"

"Yeah. I remember you saying you were good friends with him once. Also, I think Stark had mentioned something about you taking away something he loved. Back when we found his sister after meeting Joshua."

"Yes." Zach sighed. "The truth is, my first kill was Stark's brother."

Tali swallowed the gulp of dextro-Voltage upon hearing that, and nearly choked on the realization. "You killed Stark's brother?!"

"It was an accident. He had been going crazy randomly; taking an admiral hostage and screaming about how he saw the end." Zach looked down. "I regretted what happened because I didn't hit him where I wanted to. If the bullet hadn't hit his artery..."

"How did it happen?

"It was a week after I fought Maine during his visit to the acadamy."

Houston Alliance Training Facility, 13:37 pm

Alliance HQ in Texas; May 28th, 2176

Zach looked out from his view next to the window at the grounds below. He had his armor on and his pistol equipped to his side to be prepared for any senario. Normally, he used it only at the shooting range, but he kept it with him just in case. Next to him, one of the two newbies of the acadamy, Daniel Darsan, sat idly by reading a datapad. He and his best friend, Brodius Bardone, had recently come to train at the acadamy after Brodius's uncle was defeated at Elysium. Apparently, they had traded information with the Alliance in order to secure a position in their ranks and a prison sentence for the man despite his crazy plans for inventions that would've driven the Alliance out of the traverse. So far, both parties have honored the agreement.

"Well, it appears your great victory over Maine has made it to the headlines." Daniel spoke, rubbing his recently shaved head. Zach had heard that Daniel complained about how they had to shave his head despite the fact that he loved having incredible hair. "I'm surprised you didn't celebrate more with us. It was funny seeing Robert jump off the bar yelling "Do it!" all the time."

"I got my ass kicked by a large, two-hundred and twenty pound man. Do you really think I was in the mood to celebrate?"

"You still beat him, though. That should've been reason enough to celebrate."

"Sorry. That just wasn't something I felt worth celebrating."

"Whatever you say. You wanna be the stick-up-the-ass soldier, it's your choice."

"Hey, I don't have a stick up my ass. I take my job seriously."

"You should take some R&R more often. You only have one life to live."

"I've spent my entire life devoting my precious time to others. It no longer feels natural to give some time to myself."

"Well, that's because no one's really given you anything. You always give more than you take."

"Yeah." Zach stared out the window for a few seconds longer. "Who's that?"

Daniel looked away from his datapad and out the window. "Oh, that's Admiral, uh, Waters or something like that. He was at Elysium leading the charge against Halliot's and Brodius's uncle's spaceships. His ship, the SSV Brussels, was nicknamed the Flying Dutchman because of his heritage, I think."

"What's he doing here?"

"Who knows. Maybe he heard about your showdown with Maine. Maybe he is looking for Brodius and I to thank us for our contributions towards Elysium's aid. Or maybe he just likes the countryside."

Zach rubbed his chin before he saw the admiral turn towards his friend, Robert Agustus Stark, who appeared to be shouting and waving his arms. There was a gun in his hand and the admiral was waving his own arms in what looked like an attempt to calm him down.

"What the hell is Robert doing?" Zach finally asked, walking towards the stairwell to run outside and investigate. Daniel looked outside again before jumping up and running down the stairs. When both gentlemen were outside, They could hear Robert screaming about strange things.

"You can't stop them! The voices, the sounds, they're in my head! They're telling me things no man wants to hear! Death is approaching us! No one is safe from the threat that shall consume us!"

"You need to stop this!" The admiral spoke. "You're going to start an uproar on the grounds!"

"No! I saw them all! Faces of death searing into my mind! Demons of man and machine! Demons of thoughts and lies! No one shall be safe from the never-ending death that will destroy all life!"

"Robert!" Zach called. "What are you doing?!"

Robert immediately pulled the trigger, shooting at Zach's feet but missing by inches. Zach jumped back, pulling out his own pistol. Daniel joined him, pointing their guns at Robert. In desperation, Robert grabbed the admiral, pointing the gun at the man's head. "Stay back! Do not turn friend into foe! We must all work together if we are to survive the foe that means to destroy us all!"

"Robert, what are you talking about? You're not making any sense and you're only making the situation worse by holding the admiral hostage!"

"You need to listen! You can't listen if I die! I know you won't shoot me when someone is in harm's way!"

"Shoot him!" The admiral yelled. "This man is delusional!"

"Shut up!" Robert yelled.

"If we shoot through the admiral's shoulder, maybe we can disable Robert." Daniel suggested.

"Not unless it's absolutely necessary." Zach cautioned.

"Can't you understand?! Can't you see that the darkness is coming?! Shepard, you know of what I speak! Revelation will come and we will not be prepared! We will scurry around like rats as our people are slaughtered by the nightmares! This is the end!"

"Robert! Calm down!" Daniel yelled.

"NO! I WON'T CALM DOWN! THE END IS NIGH!" Robert threw the admiral to the ground and pointed his pistol at Daniel, then grabbed the side of his neck after Zach's bullet travelled through him.

Zach's jaw dropped as he saw his friend fall. He was attempting to disable him by hitting his shoulder, but instead, he hit the side of his neck. Robert began coughing up blood as more poured out onto the ground from the wound. Zach threw his gun to the ground and ran to Robert's side, crouching away from the blood to avoid getting some on his white armor.

"Daniel, get some medi-gel!"

"We don't have enough time. It's all in the medical wing on the other side of HQ. There's no way we can save him."

"No! NO! Damn it! Why did I have to miss your shoulder, Robert?! Why did you have to make me shoot?!"

Robert coughed. "It's okay, Shepard. It's okay. The demons no longer will plague me. This is a mercy. I know you can stop the demons, Shepard. But I... I... couldn't." Robert turned his head and died.

Zach couldn't believe it. This was the first life he had taken. It wasn't some low-life merc or pirate who deserved to die. It was a friend who had gone crazy for no reason at all. He kept trying to figure out where he went wrong; he knew his sights were for Robert's shoulder, but he missed. That shouldn't have been possible.

"Thank you for saving my life, soldier." The admiral had spoken.

"It came at a terrible cost." Zach spoke sadly.

"I know. You have to understand there is no easy way out of situations like this. You did the right thing."

"Then why do I feel wrong?"

"That's the moral part of you speaking. Sometimes, your moral side will agree with your actions, and other times, it may not. It doesn't mean what you did was wrong, but part of you will always think it wasn't right."

"Yeah. I guess that's one way of putting it."

"I'll let Alliance Command know about this. You deserve some commendation for saving an admiral's life. As for your friend, I'm sorry it had to come down to this. He was screaming his head off about wierd things I don't think we need to get into just yet. Shake this off your shoulders. Mourn him and let go. And remember that even though he's gone, he'll always be a part of you." The admiral walked away, and Zach stood up.

"He has a point." Daniel spoke.

"Who?"

"Both of them. There may be demons to fight and you need to let go. This accident is in the past now with every second that goes by." Daniel handed Zach his pistol. "And besides, Robert would want you to move on."

"He was a good friend."

"And you should remember him for that."

Zach nodded. "I'll try." And deep within, he meant it.

"After that day, I was promoted to lance corporal, left the acadamy for the traverse, and time moved on. I could say I'm over Robert's death, but I'd be lying. Every time I end someone's life now, my eyes always become sad because it reminds me of Robert. It reminds me of how I failed to disable him instead of kill him. After a while, I equipped cryo rounds onto my gun so their deaths could only haunt me for mere seconds. Their bodies freeze and explode, leaving only a puddle of water and ice chunks. I find it to be a merciful death to some, even if they don't deserve mercy."

"Wow." Tali could only say. "I had no idea. I'm so sorry."

"Yeah."

"I have a question. Garrus and Ashley told me your eyes become sad when you kill geth as well. Why? Is it because you consider the geth to be alive?"

"It's not because I see the geth as living things. The way I see it is that the geth programs are not artificial lifeforms, but rather artificial souls."

"Souls?"

"Yes. Organics dictate that our bodies possess souls that gather information and pass on to the afterlife when their body dies. Geth programs could be looked at the same way; their programming is the ghost in the machine and it gathers information from its tasks. This is all just my theory based on what you've told me and what I've attempted to read up on them over the past few days. I don't know if any of the geth would go to the afterlife when they die, but I think even a synthetic deserves some kind of peace after their 'death.'"

"These beliefs came from your religion?"

"Not exactly. I hold belief in a God that shaped all galactic life, but I don't hold any true claim over any religion; mainly because Father Callahan, the man who taught me about God, was a xenophobe. I think I shared that with you yesterday during breakfast."

"If you did hold a claim over a religion, what would it be, though?"

"Christianity. I found it to be the most satisfactory, unlike most of the other versions, which always carried some kind of strange burden. For example, did you know most people would hate you if you only trimmed your face instead of shaving it clean in the orthodox church? I had a friend in one of those groups and he didn't like their dirty looks. Other churches also say it's a sin to favor a romantic relationship with the same sex. I don't understand the concept, but I won't speak against it."

"Seriously? Are human religions so complex even when they're almost the same thing?"

"I'm probably exaggerating about this, but there are many forms of the same religion, and there's no way to tell which one is right. Some hold different concept than others, and that works fine for some people. I consider myself a Christian, but I don't agree with everything religion demands. I still do many things my religion states, such as not being a hedonist. Why else do you think I drink Voltage?"

"Have you ever dranken any real alcohol before?"

"Only on special occassions, which are few. Stark himself never took a religion, but it has been said people have seen him pray to God, which caught me by surprise given the first time I met him he seemed more like an atheist."

Tali dropped her bottle after removing it from her mask. "When we met Stark, you guys mentioned Torfan. What happened there?"

Zach put his own bottle down. "That's a bit more graphic than Robert's death, but I guess you deserve to know the story. Stark got his name, the Butcher of Torfan, when he sent his men into an ambush on the moon. Batarians armed with spike weapons and superior firepower tore his group to shreds. And he was busy interrigating a batarian hostage when it happened. The last he heard of his men were their screams of agony. I was about three clicks away from Stark, but even I could hear the biotic explosion that errupted the atmosphere of Torfan." Zach stood up, rubbing the back of his neck and sighing. "Once I saw the fires and heard the noises, I ran across the battlefield along Stark's trail of blood. The first survivors I encountered was a young batarian mother begging me to spare her and her baby's life."

Torfan's surface, 16:23 pm

Skyllian Verge; March 14, 2178

Zach stopped at the doors to the underground complex where the batarian leaders were hiding. Evidence of Stark's killing spree could be seen; turrets destroyed from Stark's biotic attacks, batarians with their throats slit, vehicles on fire from being toppled by the biotic's destruction. It looked like a nightmare.

"Damn it, Stark. What have you done?" Zach unclipped his pistol in the event that one batarian might precieve him as a threat and try to kill him. He slowed his pace to a walk, looking around his surroundings. Soon enough, he heard weeping around the corner. He lowered his gun and slowly turned the corner, seeing a batarian woman crying with her baby wrapped in cloth craddling in her arms. The body of one dead batarian was next to her, and her clothes were soaked in his life-blood.

"Ma'am?" Zach softly spoke.

The woman retreated at the sound of his voice, startling the child who started crying. "Stay back! Don't hurt me! I don't want trouble! I just want my baby to live! I want to protect my child from that demon you sent on us! He killed my husband! All my husband wanted was to provide for his family, and that butcher took him away from us!"

"It's okay." Zach assured her. "I'm not your enemy. I have no quarrels with your species despite what many have done to humankind. But this man that killed your husband has lost much thanks to the batarians. His parents were murdered and his sister was likely turned into a slave when your kind attacked Mindoir. I would say your kind deserved it, but there's no way of knowing if anybody here was part of the raid."

"The humans started this when they began taking colonies in the traverse. Your selfish nature took resources that could've and should've been ours."

"Not all humans are selfish. I've given up more than I've had and lost more than I should've. I want the galaxy to cooperate without any hassle. And I want the man who did this released from his pain."

"He should be killed! He's an animal! He killed my husband when he surrendered for the sake of protecting his family!"

"Is your husband's family dead?"

The batarian shut her mouth and blinked her four eyes at that comment.

"You're still alive. If Stark truly was a monster, you and your child would be lying dead on the floor next to him. Despite what you say, he has proven he still possesses his humanity and spared your life. A monster wouldn't do that."

She looked down. "Will you kill him?"

"I will stop him, but I can't kill him. I've caused him great pain and there's no way I could ever make it right. But killing him would be the easy way out. I believe he still has good in him if you're still breathing. If he can see it and forgive himself, then he could redeem himself of his crime. I know you might not ever forgive him as he may not forgive me, but it doesn't hurt to let go sometimes."

"It doesn't look like you've let go of something."

"What do you mean?"

"I can see it through your visor, human. You're still clinging to the past, just as I am now. Your eyes hold a deep sadness filled with suffering and loss. You've lost someone special. A bondmate, perhaps?"

Zach looked down. "Someone I wanted to be my bondmate."

That ended the conversation. "The butcher headed down the hall to the control center. Just follow the trail of blood." She grabbed his wrist as he stood up. "If you won't kill him, make him pay for what he's done somehow. My husband deserves retribution, but if I do forgive my husband's killer someday, then I will have found the peace you offer me."

"I promise you, your husband won't have died for nothing. Stark will be shown the error of his ways, and he'll turn away from the dark path he walks now. If he doesn't, then he may be taken by your people's vengeance one day."

"Good luck. May your gods bless you."

"May the Maker be on my side today. And may he grant you rest in your darkest hour." Zach began his running pace again, jumping over dead bodies and pools of blood. Minutes later, he had retreated deep into the base before he could see the command center. His radio began to beep in his ear.

"Sergeant Shepard, this is Major Kyle. What's your location?"

"I'm deep within the base." Zach panted. "Approaching the command center. It's just a few paces ahead of me."

"Sounds like you're worn out."

"It's hard to run three clicks in heavy armor."

"Any sign of Stark?"

"I think he's within the command center, but I have not seen him yet."

"We're entering the base now. There's a lot of blood on Stark's hands. Did you kill anyone here?"

"If I did, you'd be seeing puddles of water on the floor. I saw no survivors other than a batarian mother and her child."

"We passed them just now. Find Stark, Shepard. That's an order."

"Yes, sir."

"Good luck, and be careful."

Zach cut the comm and entered the room slowly. Puddles of blood still flowed everywhere, and Stark could be seen shooting a batarian in his face while slitting the throat of another one. His eyes looked almost completely black through his visor. The ferocity of Stark's temper and the blood dripping off of his armor made him look like a demon had possessed him, making Zach feel as if he came face to face with the devil. Making a silent prayer in his mind he knew was not empty, he walked forward.

Holy Father, grant me the strength to turn Stark from the dark path he walks. If not today, someday. If the wrong I have caused him means I may not take my place at your side, so be it. But spare your lost child as my final plea if hell awaits me today.

"Shepard." Stark muttered. "It just had to be the white knight that came for me today."

"Stark, this is an atrocity you have commited. Countless lives were lost here."

"Most of those lives belonged to the batarian menace. I merely did what the Alliance couldn't do." He locked his shotgun back onto the magnetic clip before he attempted to hack a computer.

"You know, despite the ferocity of this, I'd say you're worthy of being N7."

"And I wonder how you became worthy of being N7. All you did was survive an ambush of giant worms that killed everyone in your squad, fought and defeated Maine in single combat, and you fucking murdered my brother."

"Robert was holding an Alliance Admiral hostage!"

"Bullshit! I read the report! Robert was not a red sand addict!"

"Stark, he left me no choice! I was attempting to disable him, but something went wrong."

"Is that the same excuse you used for your girlfriend, Shepard? I read the report of Akuze. You wrote she jumped in the way to save your life from a thresher maw, but maybe that's not what happened. Maybe you pushed her in the direction of the thresher maw's venom."

"I didn't do that! She jumped in the way even after she cursed and swore at me! She spared my life because she always had to switch between hating me and liking me. You have no idea how many times I've wished I never met her. And you don't know how many times I've wished she was still alive. But I can't bring her back. Just like I can't bring Robert back."

Stark stopped hacking the terminal.

"I'm sorry Stark."

[ watch?v=igrICEF88Kw] "No. You're not sorry." Stark grabbed his knife off of the table. "Not yet."

Zach tipped himself backward before Stark's precise movements slit his throat. "Stark, what are you doing?"

"Robert's death deserves justice!" He continued to throw strikes at Shepard, but despite his opponent's heavy armor, he was doing a pretty good job at dodging Stark's attacks.

"Stark, you don't need to do this!"

"Hold still!" He switched his tactic from slashing at Zach to stabbing, but Zach deflected the blows by either knocking away the blade or colliding his arm with Stark's wrist. It was so frusterating to Stark he began to blame his knife.

"Come on, you little bitch! Tear his throat open! Puncture his heart! Anything!"

"You're deluded Stark! You're talking to a blade!" He grabbed Stark's armed hand at the wrist to try and remove the weapon, but Stark threw his hands up in the air, kicking Zach's leg to knock him down. He raised his knife when Zach was on one knee, but Zach elbowed his gut and stopped Stark from finishing him off. He made a few blows to Stark's chest area; not hard enough to break bone or stop his heart, but enough force to knock him close to the wall. He kicked him into it, but Stark glowed purple and grabbed Zach with his biotics, throwing him into the wall.

Zach attempted to get up from the ground, but he saw Stark walking towards him. The blood from three batarian bodies was soaking his white armor and it was going to cost a lot of credits to get it cleaned up. He was on his hands and knees when Stark kicked him back into the puddle. He was lucky the breather attachment was over his helmet, or else he would've had the taste of batarian blood in his mouth for a while, which would be unpleasant. Stark placed his foot on Zach's back, cracking his spine; fortunately in a good way for Zach, as his back had been sore from the long mako ride. He attempted again to get up.

"Here, Shepard. Let me help you." Stark spoke menacingly as his foot glowed biotically and collided the right side of Zach's chest, cracking ribs on that side of his body. Zach didn't scream at the pain; even though these were his first bones broken, he had gotten more painful bruises in his fights with both Maine AND Jess. He activated a shot of adrenaline into his system through his suit's neural interface. Stark's kick had him back on his feet, so Zach struck Stark's helmet hard to stun him for a few seconds. Stark had not expected this, so Zach was able to deliver a few more blows to his chest, arms and stomach. Lifting a sniper rifle off the ground with his foot, Zach grasped the barrel and slammed the butt hard on Stark's knife arm, knocking the blade out of his hands.

Stark then reacted to the pain of his arm. It was likely fractured, but he used it to grab ahold of the long rifle Zach had used as a club. He yanked the weapon away and proceeded to fight him with his fists. Zach's adrenaline rush was weakening, so his attacks were becoming a little slower. He began to knock Stark's attacks away rather than deal them. Soon enough, though, Stark broke through his defense, punching his stomach. He sucked the muscles in to prevent a total loss of air flow to his lungs, but when he got back into fighting shape, Stark's hand glowed biotic purple and collided with the other side of his ribs, cracking more and sending Shepard flying.

Zach could feel the pain throughout his entire body. His rib cage felt like a bomb was shoved into his chest and it exploded. His organs were still functional, but it was hard for him to breath. Stark proceeded to grab his knife, picking it up from the ground where it had been dropped. He began to step towards Zach as he attempted to crawl. When Zach turned to see him, Stark's free hand was upon his neck, dragging him along the ground before he was biotically lifted off of the ground. The black stare within Stark's eyes could be seen within the visor clear as day as he raised his knife for the kill.

On the ground behind them, a batarian near-death noticed the fight was about to end with his attacker about to win. But he couldn't let any more blood be spilled by that butcher's hand. With his remaining strength, he picked up his pistol, aimed at the man's back, and prayed his sacrifice would end the bloodshed from this butcher's inconceivable killing spree.

Stark heard the pistol shots bounce off of his kinetic barriers. Turning around, he saw a batarian thought dead continuing to shoot until his barriers failed. Stark threw his knife at the batarian's head, and the batarian died smiling. Unable to understand what that smile meant, he turned around to see Zach's fist collide with his face mask, making him drop the man and fall back over the batarian he just killed.

Zach landed on his feet and gritted his teeth. He needed to ignore the pain for just a few seconds longer, but he was afraid what he would do would no doubtedly kill him. Activating another shot of adrenaline into his veins, he made his final plan count, picking up Stark by his face mask and dragging him into the desk. Stark's armor was now covered in his victim's blood from head to toe. He slammed his head into the desk in an attempt to deactivate his biotic implant. Zach knew the man had wasted enough calories fighting everyone here, so if he shut off Stark's L3 Prodigy implant, he had a clear chance of stopping him. He then picked him up on his feet and punched the man hard enough to hear his knuckles and the material in his assassin helmet crack. Jabbing at Stark's stomach with his left hand, he aimed Stark towards the wall before bringing his foot into the man's chest, kicking him hard into the wall.

Zach felt the adrenaline wearing off again and the pain in his body returned, but it was a sign he didn't die from the suicidal idea. Using the last of his strength, he grabbed ahold of Stark's neck, slamming his head into the wall one more time. The biotic implant could be heard shutting down, and Stark began to pass out from the grip on his neck.

"I won't end your life here, Stark." Zach weakly said. "Despite what you've done, I know what you really are. Listen carefully before you pass out. Let go of the past. Move on. Redeem yourself. And stay away from me so you can heal. Remember these words, because I know in the end, you're a better man than I'll ever be."

Stark passed out on the floor and Zach released his hold, grasping his chest and sucking in large sums of air. He suddenly felt two people grab his arms and place them on their shoulders. Even close to passing out, he knew it was Daniel and his friend Brodius coming to his rescue with Major Kyle and the last of the platoon.

"Shepard, we need to get you to a medical center immediately." Daniel's words were nearly inaudible to Zach.

"Stark..." Zach mumbled.

"Major Kyle will handle him. We need to focus on you." Brodius spoke. "You look like shit. This must've been worse than fighting Maine and running from bugs on Akuze. You're lucky you're still breathing."

I should be dead. Zach thought. After everything I've done on Earth, with Robert, and even with Jessica, I deserve to be dead. Why is it I am not?

Zach finally passed out as he saw the gray of the sky.

"After I woke up, I found out I had seven broken ribs and four fractured ones. Two of the broken ribs had to be replaced with metal ones, and my rib cage had to be held together by a metal plate along the center of my chest where the ribs connect." Zach placed his hand upon his chest. "The scars from the surgery are still there after five years."

"Can I-" Tali stopped.

"Can you what?" Zach asked, afraid she was going to leave or cry or something that would make him sad.

"Can I, perhaps, uh, could I see the scars?" Tali's stumbling of her words made her think he would reject the offer, but Zach was rather caught by surprise. He didn't expect that she would be so willing to ask the question. Thinking on this for a moment, he reached for the bottom of his shirt, hoping Tali didn't freak out or become nervous in the presense of his exposed chest.

When Tali saw the scars, she was simply horrified at what had been done to him. The scars were only within his chest area, but his arms and stomach were completely bare. They stretched along the path of his ribs and upon the center of his chest. Tali didn't know what she was doing as she stood up and began to trace her fingers along the pale outlines. Zach did not flinch in fear Tali might think she had hurt him or had done something wrong, but he was getting shivers down his spine as the fabric of Tali's suit brushed his healing skin. Her fingers travelled along every scar on his body, and he felt strange, as if her touch was of the hands of an angel sent to grant him peace.

But he didn't deserve peace. He deserved death.

Tali felt her pulse elevate as she brought her fingers to a lone scar near his shoulder. "What's this?"

"It's the first bullet I ever took. I was approaching my eighteenth birthday. Those who I thought were my friends attempted to bomb a building with a turian ambassador. When I warned those within the meeting, they drew guns in a panicking crowd. I took that bullet for the ambassador, and two of my friends were shot down by the Alliance."

"You were a hero even before you saved my life." Tali trailed the outline of the scar before he took her hand in his. She looked into his eyes fearing he would be angry at what she had done, but only sadness flooded his eyes.

"I'm not a hero."

"Yes, you are. You've saved many lives; on Eden Prime, on Torfan, on Earth, and you even saved my life on the Citadel. I'm far too grateful for what you've done for me. And you're even forgiving of many people. Why do you doubt you're a hero?"

Zach released her hand and slipped his shirt back on. "Because heroes don't fail in the stories. I failed many other lives. Those batarians mercilessly slain on Torfan, my best friend on Earth, Tinker, and I failed everybody on Akuze. Heroes sometimes lose a battle between an advesary, but they don't fail in stopping them." He turned to lean his arms on his desk, looking at the cold metal that held him up. "I've failed."

And it was with that speech that Tali felt her heart breaking. She couldn't stand to see Shepard breaking down like this. Acting on desperation, she wrapped her arms around him, holding him close to her. "Listen to me, Shepard." She pleaded. "You are a hero; a guardian for all that is good in this galaxy. You protect the innocent without hesitation even though your past mistakes weaken your spirit. But I believe in you, Shepard. You will succeed in saving the galaxy from Saren and the geth, and you will not fail. You can't fail! And I will be there alongside you to carry you when you fall down. You taught me an important lesson today. You're wounded because your first kill was a friend and you regret that you can't get him back. But I made my first kill saving your life from a dangerous man. I will get over it eventually, but I will always remember that I must be careful with who lives and who dies. Because if I killed a friend; if I killed you, I could not move on with my life like you've had the strength to do."

Zach felt weak and helpless against Tali's heartfelt speech. He somehow managed to help her start to shake off her first kill, but he also got her to reach out to his weak side. Her words had cut through his soul and repaired a part of him that had been ripped away when she had broke his heart all those years ago.

Giving in to his foolish desires, he turned around and hugged her back. His body pressed firmly against Tali, and if it wasn't for the fact she felt tears coming to her eyes from the tenderness of his hugs, she could've swore she was coming on to him. Her body started to become warmer all around and her breathing became ragged. Zach felt one tear slip onto her suit, and he hoped she didn't feel or hear it land on the fabric. Another part of him was getting the wrong idea, so he released his hug slowly but gently.

Tali and Zach stared into each other's eyes for seconds longer before he finally spoke. "Thank you for this, Tali. I guess we both needed something from each other."

"I guess we did." Tali dropped her gaze and took a breath. "I should probably head back to engineering. There might be something I could do down there."

Zach nodded. "Okay. I'll talk to you later, Tali." She walked out the door with her head down, and it was only when the tears really started to flow that he broke down in silence, remembering something he had wanted to forget.

"I love you, Zach. And I don't want you to ever leave me."

You lied. You lied to me all along and you destroyed me.

You had brought this on yourself. The demonic voice of her dream corpse echoed. You left me and I betrayed you. That's why you left me to die.

You lie. You jumped in my way.

Did I?

Fed up with the conversation in his head, he fell onto his bed and began to cry.

Inside the elevator, Tali sat on the floor crying. She was sad for how Shepard saw himself; after he killed Robert, after Akuze and Torfan. He didn't feel like a hero at all. He felt like he was something lower. He truly was the best example of humanity, and yet he couldn't see it. Tali's feelings for him were growing stonger with each passing second as she longed to be with him, and it hurt her he didn't show any signs of sharing those feelings. Joshua was right about her. She wanted to be with him.

But will she ever get the chance?

The elevator door opened and Wrex stood there, blocking the way for her to get out. He stepped inside and closed the door before the others asked questions.

"Are you okay?" Wrex politely asked.

"No." Tali sobbed.

"What's wrong?"

"It's Shepard. He has been hurt emotionally and I feel like I can't help him."

"Warriors don't get hurt."

"But he isn't a warrior like you or Garrus, Wrex. He's a guardian. His feelings are what drive him, and not his strength. He's wounded up to the point where he can say he isn't a hero because of all the people he failed. I need to help him."

"Why is that?"

"Because every time I hold him, he's at peace. Every time I ask him questions, he smiles and answers back. Tonight, he showed me his scars and I felt every one of them, despite the fact this prison separated my skin from his. I'm helping him by being near him."

"Well, better you than Williams. She has way too much fire for him. And I think something might be going on between Garrus and Liara, so she's definitely out." Wrex laughed. "But you've got heart, kid, and that's what keeps a krant together."

"A krant?"

"A group of krogan who would fight to the death alongside you. I felt using that term would work better seeing as I myself am a krogan."

"Well," Tali sniffed. "I guess I should take that as a compliment, then."

"Hey," Wrex patted her arm. "It's okay. You don't need to shed any more tears. Uncle Urdnot is here to make it better. I think it's time I started teaching you some of my tricks. Since you might start coming along on more high-risk missions against geth and mercs and probably even krogan, I think you need to be prepared for whatever this big, bad galaxy throws at you. How does that sound, Tali?" He smiled.

"You know, that might actually be a good idea, Uncle Urdnot." Tali laughed as she said that, removing her sad mood for something a little more positive.

Wrex chuckled at Tali's answer. "Let's clear the cargo deck a bit for some room. I want everything to be nice and neat for my little pupil." He helped her up and opened the elevator door, knowing this would be the start of a good friendship that may last the rest of his life.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay guys. This is the last chapter for now until I get Elysium out of the way. So I'm going to leave a long author's note.

First off, the last scene at the end came from the Full-Paragon reference in the Citadel DLC and I already told him about how I wanted to incorporate this into my story as well. I don't plan on ripping him off in any way by doing this Wrex-Tali training and becoming like an uncle and his niece. I'm also adding it in because Admiral Anderson is a fan of the two.

Second, I played through the Citadel DLC only partially because I missed out on a few things that were stupid to forget. However, I have split my opinion of it up into two parts. The first part is the campaign, which I can say was excellent. Immediately after The Dark Knight reference, though, I got a nostalgic feeling about the lady who told me of the conspiracy, much like Miranda Tate from The Dark Knight Rises. When she was revealed as the bad guy, I was immediately like "Called it!" at that point. I liked how they were able to make the clone look exactly like you, but I hated how they couldn't give the clone the bonus power you had. Every time he used Carnage on me, I kept shouting, "If you're a clone of me, you should be using energy drain!" I finally tried out the M7-Lancer in the game, and I must say it worked much better than I expected. I liked all the jokes the party members made; including the pizza, the Full-Paragon references, the wierd cat name the chick had said (I liked Ser Pounce-a-lot's name from Dragon Age: Awakening better), and the complaints from Joker about using him as bait. As for after, like I said I missed most of the content, so I'm restarting my playthough all together to fix that. I heard some people had a problem with Tali's singing in her scene, however, so I might have a trick or two up my sleeve when that comes around. Maybe even have a scene where her face could be shown for even two seconds because Bioware is too damn lazy to do it themselves (there's an inappropriate comment I could add there, but I know when to keep my mouth shut [most of the time]).

Anyways, I really hope this chapter really worked out. Shoutouts to my reviewers and even to some other people opening up and writing down something nice. Try to look out for Elysium this week. I plan on releasing that quickly as the prologue is meant to be short.

P.S. When you see it, Anderson... :-)