Hello, this is Pastrinator64 with another chapter from THE GLITCH. Last time on THE GLITCH we watched as Norman and his friends fought off the Zombie Clan's numbers. After riding a Creeper, flying like a crazy person on an explosive disk and landing in a giant bowl of gravy Norman was finally able to defeat the army. But, just when everything seemed like a happy ending, the Glitch itself appeared in the kitchen/cavern and destroyed Esmeralda's code completely, getting rid of her entire existence. Now we watch as Norman tries to comfort Jeff from his hard loss and two leaders, one good and one bad, host some entertaining cameo dinner parties.
Now, let the story commence!
Chapter 26: Dinner Parties of a Sort
While their team tried to find a way out without completely blowing up the place and revealing themselves to more possible zombies Norman tried to find Jeff. But Jeff had disappeared to somewhere. Norman severely hoped that he didn't go off and try to drown himself in pudding or gravy or something because of losing Esmeralda for the second time. He looked around and searched among the giant dishes around him, and eventually he found Jeff sitting among some giant toothpicks.
"Jeff, are you... You ok?" Norman said quietly.
Jeff shook his head and said,
"No. No. Nonononononono! I am certainly NOT OK! My whole LIFE has been NOT OK! MY ENTIRE EXISTENCE HAS BEEN A LIVING NIGHTMARE!"
Norman tripped backwards on a toothpick and landed on his back with a groan. He stood up quickly. Jeff continued with his anger bursts before Norman could say anything.
"If I could take one word to describe this world it would be unfair. It's all unfair. It's unfair that our village had to be burned to the ground. It's unfair that Jonah had to die. It's unfair that Esmeralda had to die, but then come back alive only to be completely destroyed! I hate Notch, Herobrine, Queen Enderdragon and all the beings of Minecraft to the bone. I wish they were all DEAD!"
Suddenly, Jeff lifted his head with a look on his face.
"No, wishing everyone else was dead would be stupid. Maybe I should just die..." he muttered.
Norman gasped and moved forward to be in front of Jeff.
"Jeff, how could you even think that? You honestly think Esmeralda would want her husband to give up and kill himself? No! Of course not! She'd want you to keep going!" he declared, trying to sound encouraging.
Jeff grunted and put his head in his hands.
"She would want me to stay alive, but she doesn't. She doesn't EXIST! She's GONE! Her code is ERASED! I'll never be able to see her in the Aether, because she won't be there."
"Well, what about Jonah?"
Jeff froze for at least ten seconds after hearing his deceased son's name. He looked up at the dark ceiling and muttered,
"You're right. Jonah needs me to stay strong. I need to help you defeat the Glitch; otherwise the Aether will be destroyed by it before we get the chance. You know, if it weren't for the Glitch, you'd be back in your own dimension and we'd all be in our own homes. There would be so many people still alive, and our town would still have a mayor. There would be no danger, no cruel deaths, no nothing. My family would still be alive. OH, DAMN YOU GLITCH!"
Norman helped Jeff to his feet and said,
"Alright, let's just get out of this place."
The two walked—but Jeff sort of stomped, really—back to the group. They hadn't been able to find a way out, so Bailey had decided to take the risk of being discovered. Blackberry shot explosive disks into the wall until they had a hole leading up and out. Norman looked up into the night sky above and judging by the height he figured they were just above the bedrock layer. Then he realized that they must've been an open target for the Glitch being so close to The Void. Bailey decided to have some fun with escaping and everyone had to fly out on the explosive disks. Norman still had some trouble editing the programming, but once he figured out how to bend the code he edited all of the disks so people could fly up.
Someone had the idea to ride the disks all the way to the next clan to save some time, but Bailey said that there were no breaks, so they had too much of a risk of smashing into each other. Once they were out, Danny sealed up the all the openings in the jungle temple they had been underneath. They were still in the jungle, and it was nighttime, and immediately someone got blasted into a tree by a Creeper that Bailey hadn't seen.
"Great, we've already got an injury and we've barely gotten out of that hole! At least it's not raining, or something." he thought to himself.
Norman cursed Notch about three seconds later, because in that time a torrent began to fall downwards. Hilary was the first to take action, and he summoned a large ceiling of sponges above their heads to keep them dry. After people had put down some torches, Hilary put up four walls to prevent any monsters from coming and attacking them. Even though he had lost his diamond shovel to work with, Norman made the dirt floor they were on leveled out for easier movement and someone else chopped down any low-growing trees.
"Alright, since we're stuck here in this sponge structure, let's just get some rest for tomorrow, everyone." declared Norman.
Everyone was pretty tired from the day of underground wandering and being stuffed inside giant foodstuffs, so no one really objected to the idea. Norman walked over and put the possessing cookies from earlier in the group's food chest and then set up his own bed. Before getting under the covers, Norman took out his journal and wrote a new entry.
Day 14: July 6th, 2415
Today was both successful but disappointing. The good news is that we've defeated the Zombie Clan and its mutant: Zombulk. At one point during the battle with those guys I got the chance of flying around on an explosive disk, which was a both thrilling and painful experience.
The bad news is that the Glitch attacked us while we were looking for a way out of Zombulk's fortress. It had this giant droopy wing-like thing made of black plasma that picked zombified Esmeralda—who appeared to help us, explaining that Notch had brought her back as a zombie—and destroyed her completely. It also destroyed my weapon, and Shatter was reduced to a mere stick. I am weaponless, and Jeff is so depressed about losing Esmeralda a second time that he gets angry about pretty much everything. Obviously, the Glitch likes to consume code like a virus would, but I never expected it to be this dangerous. I fear for my life and my friend's lives as we continue on this journey.
~Norman Cobweb
He crawled underneath the warm red covers, but even the warmth and his exhaustion couldn't soothe him to sleep. The Glitch not only destroyed Esmeralda, but it also erased half of Shatter, his only weapon. They didn't even have any diamond yet, so he was weaponless until they did. He was awake for about an hour before he finally fell asleep.
Deep down in the Glitch's prison in The Void, the Glitch was having small talk with Slenderman.
"Yes, I just paid a small visit to Norman, and while I was there I was able to erase his weapon. It was actually quite delicious. Not as delicious as zombie Esmeralda, though."
Slenderman sent a telepathic response to the Glitch, and the monster's eyes widened.
"How could I have forgotten the dinner? Right, I must organize."
Although the Glitch had almost no room to move, it had grown strong enough to create extra space and stretch its room through the powers of glitching. It created a large invisible space of anti-gravity for a table. It used its smaller powers to enter the first chest that came into view of the Minecraft Dimension above and created a safe space around the anti-gravity area to protect the good from being destroyed. Soon, it had a whole buffet of apples, porkchops, cooked chicken, and some other foodstuffs. It was all set up for the dinner party. It was more of a dinner meeting, really.
The Glitch was finding it hard to send out evil viruses now that three of his mutants were slain, and it collapsed into a gravitationally formed chair at the head of the table to rest. Kaos and Slenderman sat on his right and left side while the Pig King sat at the other end of the table. Kaos licked his large lips and looked around at the food.
"Mmmm! I'M going to enjoy this!" he declared.
Kaos reached forward and grabbed an apple from a large bowl, but one of Slenderman's tentacles lashed out and snapped at his hand, making him drop it back. Kaos held his hand and glared at Slenderman.
"Hey! What was that for?!"
The Glitch's eyes shut closed for a few seconds and it said,
"Be patient, my dear friend. We must wait for the others to arrive before we begin. Let us make small talk while we wait."
So the four made small talk like normal people (not like they even were human). They talked for about five minutes, but then a ripple appeared in the empty space.
"Finally, someone has come. For this meeting, I did not need to threaten with viruses to gain approval from my old friends."
A figure jumped out of the ripple. The man was average height but dreadfully skinny. He wore a radioactive protection suit colored white with a green vision space. He wore protective grayish boots and gloves. It was hard to see anything through the vision space provided because the screen was cloudy. The man walked quickly towards the Glitch and said,
"Hola, una vez mas, virus 2.003699132553875962875349590027584726205885701127 501675684276777 no. 7.322 ID: -42 negativo transmision expediente no. -1.333333333."
"Hello, Profesor Archivo de Datos. I have been expecting you."
"¿Quién más viene a cenar?" said Archivo.
"Well, let's just say some old friends will be appearing any time now. I am bringing T.I.D.L.O.P.E. (The Inter-Dimensional League of Pure Evil) back together as you know, and I have invited some most unpleasant villains from the other dimensions to meet. Look, here comes someone now..." said the Glitch.
They both looked at the large ripple again and saw it vibrating. A new figure appeared in the prison moments later. This creature was a nine foot-tall mutant turtle-like monster with yellowish scaled skin. The creature had very large clawed hands and feet. He had a green head with flaming red hair, and a very large fanged mouth. It was the infamous Bowser.
Bowser walked heftily towards the gravitationally formed table with all the food. He looked down at the immense amounts of food hovering on the table and his eyes widened, a large grin forming on his face.
"Finally! I've been waiting to have a feast for years now!"
Bowser sat down with a thud in a large gravitational chair and starts to gobble down the food. The Glitch looked around at its fellow villains and took a count. The Pig King, Kaos, Slenderman, Profesor Archivo de Datos, and Bowser. They were all here. So, the Glitch cleared its (throat? does it even have one?) to grab everyone's attention.
"Please, you all might as well partake now that we have all arrived—even though our friend Bowser has already begun. As we eat, let us discuss the plans that T.I.D.L.O.P.E. will bring to the dimensions of all existence..."
All of the evil beings began to eat. The Glitch ate a lot itself, but only to consume the code. Code and data was its only source of food. After consuming about twenty cooked chickens at once, the Glitch looked around at everyone eating and spoke.
"You probably already know the reason why I have invited you here, but I will explain it anyway. I am bringing T.I.D.L.O.P.E. back together. After being put to rest 400 years ago by the rulers of the Minecraft Dimension, I have been working away at the bonds of this magic prison. At the same time, recently I have grown strong enough to put viruses in the different dimensions around me. The first dimension I entered was the 3rd Dimension, and do you know why?" asked the Glitch.
Kaos swallowed a chunk of apple and said,
"Because you like annoying people?"
"No, Kaos, not because I like to ANNOY PEOPLE. I did it because they have the one thing that could destroy me forever, and I had to possess them all before anyone could stop me."
"And what is this thing?" replied Kaos.
The Glitch became silent. It did not want to think about its own possible death. Suddenly, another person spoke from the back end of the table. The Glitch looked over to see a glowing white pair of eyes.
"So, what are our plans in taking over all the dimensions of the universe?" said the white-eyed figure.
"My dear friend and ALL my friends here, I am planning on wearing away at this magic prison around me for just a little while longer, maybe another hundred years, but just years in The Void, which will be about ten seconds in all other dimensions. After I have worn away enough, I shall break looses completely and enter ALL dimensions of the universe, swallowing everything in a black hole of endless mutated codes and viruses! You will not need your own dimensions anymore, because I will create a dimension vast enough for just us and all my virus friends that have been trapped and deleted on Earth. We will be the ULTIMATE rulers of the universe!"
Now that the Glitch's companions were all there to hear, it could finally reveal its full in-detail plans for inter-dimensional domination.
Meanwhile, Notch was ALSO setting up to host a dinner party. He had a similar idea to that of the Glitch's. The only difference was, he wasn't inviting the universe's nastiest video game antagonists. (That and the fact that he was using actual chairs and an actual table.) Notch placed several chairs (unimplemented) around a grouping of tables (also unimplemented) that formed one large table. Once he was finished, he used several /give commands to put large quantities of food in his hands. He put all the food in bowl blocks to assort them by type. Once everything was set up, he sat down in the chair at the head of the table.
He waited for a while, twiddling with his thumbs. At one point, he turned on the Serverseeker in his head and watched some people on their servers. But when he went to a Hunger Games server called HungerGamesPvPkits, he found that the whole place was deserted. He went to many different servers such as Cookieslap, Zombie Horde, Paradise, Mobicraft, and itsJerryandHarry, but all of them were completely empty. He had forgotten that the beings of Earth were all being mutated except for a small amount of protected souls. Just then, he heard the large wool-crafted gates thirty blocks in front of him open. He looked up and saw Herobrine walking in. He had his hand pressed up to his temple. Herobrine walked up to the table and sat to the right of Notch, flopping down into the chair.
"Herobrine, are you still feeling unhealthy? What is causing your headache?" asked Notch, deeply concerned.
Herobrine held his head in his hands and grumbled,
"I don't know, but whatever it is it had better go away soon, otherwise my kingdom will fall apart without the proper leadership!"
"Would you like me to get an ice block for you?" asked Notch.
"That won't help, ice and both the snow blocks just melt into water particles in my hands." he replied.
Notch and Herobrine were interrupted by the sound of the wool gates opening again. In came Queen Enderdragon. She crawled with her head low to avoid hitting chandeliers above her. She lay down to Notch's left where at least five chairs were missing so she had enough space.
"Good evening, Queen. How have your Endermen been acting lately?" asked Notch.
Queen shook her head in a frustrated motion.
"Not very good. All of my Endermen have been acting so violently lately. A good number of them have been smashing their heads up against my obsidian pillars and others have been just writhing around on the ground screeching. Sometimes I even see them change colors! I haven't a clue what is going on! I had to put my brother Nogardredne in charge of them all while I went away to join this meeting. Thankfully, Nogardredne is very serious with my Endermen, so I don't think I have to worry while he's on the job."
The three rulers talk for awhile about normal things such as the weather for a while, but once again the wool gates open with a click and all three look up. It was the general of the Angry Birds army; Buster.
Buster was pretty old, not always the brightest, and almost always angry unless someone puts spicy enchiladas in front of him—that seems to be the only thing to calm him down.
Also, this bird was large and plump. He was a beige bird, which was invented in 2344 that was rejected because of its unpredictable attacks. The beige bird's beak would turn into a drill when clicked, and would send said bird flying in any random direction, even possibly straight up, and there was no controlling the direction. The drill would slice through a total of six pieces of material no matter what (unless of course the material is the actual terrain) before wearing out.
No one really used it often if possible, because about 50% of the time it didn't go the way you wanted.
Buster hopped up towards the chair next to Herobrine with his bushy gray moustache bouncing as he moved. He hopped up and sat in the chair, his eyes barely reaching the level of the table. Buster looked over at Notch and said,
"Alright, let's get through this meeting! I have an army to command, and my wife had to go and take care of the whole force for me—and mind you, she's a temperamental Might Eagle, so she's a force to be reckoned with. Still, I'm just as angry right now. It is annoyingly tiring to hop everywhere, and I could only take my Super Sling up to the entrance... You wouldn't happen to have enchiladas here, would you?" he asked grumpily.
Notch used another /give command and took ten enchiladas from the Secret Stash down in The Void and gave them all to Buster. Normally he wouldn't take anything from the Secret Stash unless it were an emergency, but anything he needed to do to keep Buster's temper down was essential, especially for their coming meeting.
"So, Buster, how have your battles been going? Successful, I presume?" ASKED Notch.
Buster nodded slowly while wolfing down his enchiladas. With his mouth full, he replied,
"Yessthh, my army hasssth been good for the mosth part. There haven't been very many mishcalculationssth in the... *GULP!* ...Miscalculations in the trajectory my birds have been flying. Most of them have been training up before battles to practice shooting themselves through the air."
Notch nodded and replied,
"That's good."
The gates opened again and in came another figure. This one was a tall man. He was quite thin, but was wearing light blue robes with tiny little twinkling stars and white rims. He had a very aged face, but it somehow stayed alert. He looked very optimistic. He was also carrying a teal staff with an icy blue sphere placed atop, and he wore a silver helmet with sharp horns sprouting from either side. The tall man walked over and sat down in the chair next to where Queen Enderdragon was lying. Notch greeted him and leaned across the table to shake his hand.
"Hello, Eon. I am glad you could make it." he said, pumping Eon's hand up and down.
Eon smiled and said,
"I would not miss this meeting for the world, Notch. How are the things going in your kingdom?"
Notch let go of his hand and put on a nasty scowl.
"Well, the place we are in now is just my secret hideout that is undetectable from anyone and anything. Whenever something urgent like this happens and the Aether Palace is not safe to stay in, I bring everyone here. We had a bit of trouble with the Glitch..."
"You bet we did, mate!"
Notch turned around to see Muttonchop the anthropomorphic cyan sheep walking slowly towards them with Shred in his hand. He still had his diamond helmet on. Muttonchop placed a block of cyan wool in between Herobrine and Notch and sat down on it.
"We were attacked head-on by those idiot viruses! They blew up the palace, disintegratin' it to millions of damn particles! All that's left of the Aether Palace now is a bunch of random floating blocks of wool! Those are the damn worse viruses I've ever seen, mates! You better believe it; those things came from the depths of hell where even The Void can't reach, I tell you!" he shouted.
Eon suddenly had a frown on his face and he was looking at Muttonchop. Muttonchop turned to look at him and said,
"What's wrong with you, eh?!"
Eon shook his head and blinked a couple of times.
"Sorry, it's just that I don't approve very much of cuss words such as those." he murmured.
Muttonchop rolled his eyes and said,
"Oh, right. I forgot that you're dimension is rated E for Everyone. You can't even have a bit o' gore or language without going ballistic, can you?"
Eon ignored this comment and turned back to Notch, who asked him another question while also ignoring Muttonchop and his rudeness.
"How is your army doing? Fending off the Darkness still, I presume?" he asked.
Eon smiled and replied,
"Yes, the Skylanders and the Giants are doing very well at keeping Kaos and his Darkness at bay. Although, I have been having some troubles lately with new recruits. We've been having so many different creatures and fighters coming to join our army that we can hardly keep track. The last Skylander I recruited was this mass of tar and sludge named Sludgegut that shot poisonous gunk at enemies, and he got so angry at me for not letting him in that he burned away at the skin of my arm by sticking it to a wall with poison." Eon rolled down the long sleeve of his right arm to show a large bandage stretched across. "I had to invite him in before he got too violent."
Muttonchop put two more blocks of cyan wool behind him so he could lean back. He grumbled,
"And whadda ya know, that bandage ain't got a bit o' blood on it or anythin'..."
Another figure came in through the gates. This man was actually kind of short, and he was wearing a torn blue business that had both sleeves ripped off, making him look rugged. The only odd thing about him was the jetpack fashioned from a large machine strapped onto his back. The man walked forward and sat down in the chair next to Buster, who grumbled a complaint for more enchiladas.
"Barry! How's the family?" asked Notch.
Barry smiled and said,
"Pretty good. The problem is, I never have enough time to be with them. Every time I hit one of those zappers or some rocket comes flying and hits me my jetpack falls off and I have to go back and steal it again. I've really been trying hard to doge all my obstacles and get through so I can escape, but my momentum keeps getting too big. If I can't reach the other end and exit the lab I'll never be able to bring home a jetpack to my proud family. I need to see my kids again. You remember Larry and Gary?"
Notch nodded and said,
"Yes, but the last time I saw them they were very small! How old are they now?" he asked.
"Larry's nine and Gary's sixteen. Gary is already asking me to take him out to get his jetpack license, and Larry has suddenly become very interested in the different jetpacks they have in that lab. He even mailed Profesor Archivo de Datos a couple of letters about some new jetpack ideas like the Tar Jetpack or the Chocolate Jetpack, but I'd bet my money that Archivo rips them all apart."
"I'd like to see them now! They must've grown so much since I last visited your home. And the wife? Is Mary well?"
Before Barry could answer, the gates behind him clicked open. A short, elderly man leaning on an ancient wooden cane hobbled into the room. He was Chinese, and his face looked as ancient as his cane. He was wearing some short grayish robes. The man had so many wrinkles on his face that his eyes were barely visible. The man hobbled up to the table very slowly and sat next to Eon, who unlike him looked very alert.
"Ah, Sensei! I am so glad you could come!" said Notch.
Sensei looked over at Notch and rubbed a hand through his dry gray hair. He then started fiddling with his very wispy goatee.
"I am glad I could come too... I do not believe that it would be proper for me to miss this meeting, as I attended to the last one..." he murmured quietly in a tired voice.
Sensei held out his hand making a coconut appear. Suddenly, it cracked open at the top a few seconds after he positioned it in both hands. He then took out a lime and held it over the open coconut. He put the lime in the coconut and drank them both up. After finishing his drink, he put his hand on the empty coconut shell with the lime inside and both disappeared. Sensei thrust his hand at the table in front of him and about twenty strawberry smoothies appeared before him.
"Would anyone care for a smoothie...?" asked Sensei.
Everyone took a smoothie, and Queen Enderdragon just drank the remaining thirteen. While they were doing so, Notch asked Sensei a question merely to attempt conversation.
"How have your ninjas been lately? Slicing those fruits with ease, I suppose?"
Sensei's face gained about ten more wrinkle lines as a smile spread across his face.
"Ah, yes... My fruit ninjas have been doing very well... Did I ever tell you why they are there to slice fruit?"
Notch nodded and said,
"Because you said that the flying fruits resembled the attacks of other enemies and their weapons, and that those were the easiest objects to use because of your fruit summoning powers?"
"Yes, but recently since our last meeting about the Glitch I have hired a scientist by the name of Professor E. Gadd—who is a very good friend of mine, by the way—to invent a mechanical weapon powered by the high sugar and sodium quantities found in fruits. He has finally finished it, and I have been collecting all the juice my fruit ninjas created by training in a giant glass container, and when the time comes I will pour it into the tanks of the machine, giving us a form of defense that should last for a few days based on the amount of juice produced so far. I just mentioned this because we might have to resort to my machine if necessary. He calls it the Fruit Firearm 5000; too much of an alliteration, if you ask me." explained Sensei.
Barry piped up across from him and said,
"You know, I have a Fruit Jetpack that shoots different fruits to propel itself, so I guess that fruit power can be useful in multiple ways."
Buster grumbled with his eyes closed, nearly falling asleep.
"Alright, when can we just start dinner and begin the meeting? Who else do we have to wait for? Wait a minute... Notch," Notch turns around and sighs, already knowing the question that would come next. "You didn't invite HIM again, did you?"
Notch frowned and said,
"Oh come now, what do you have against him?"
Buster gritted his teeth and ground them angrily.
"Well, he's fat, he's attention-hungry, and he hits his head on bricks (that just proves he's an idiot). He's just... He's, he's..."
"IT'S-A ME, MARIO!"
The famous plumber in red himself walked in through the door in his usual blue overalls and red trademarked cap. Mario walks over to the table and sat down with a smile on his face. He then started to speak in Italian so no one understood him.
"Come sono tutti gli altri-a fare? Bene, spero?"
Buster grunted and then said,
"English, please?"
Mario rolled his eyes and spoke in a heavy Italian accent, only this time in English.
"How is everyone else-a doing? Good, I hope?"
Everyone nodded and murmured in agreement. Notch smiled and said,
"So, how have things been going in your dimension?"
Mario took a mushroom out of his pocket and sniffed it.
"Well, Bowser has-a taken a vacation to some far off island, I suppose-a. We haven't seen a single scheme of his in a long-a time..."
"Why do you have to say a after every five words in a sentence?!" grumbled Buster.
Mario chomped down on the mushroom and suddenly shrunk down to a squat little midget. Mario grumbled and took out another mushroom.
"Oops! Another poison mushroom! I keep-a misplacing the good and bad shrooms! There we go-a!"
Mario ate the other mushroom and was restored to his full height—which still wasn't much anyway. Mario turned to Notch and said,
"Al-aright! I'm-a sorry for my late arrival-a! May we begin-a?"
Notch nodded in approval and all the cameo heroes began to feast. Now that everyone was there, Notch could get down to business.
I love cameos, don't you? Will Notch find out about the Glitch's secret meeting? Will the Glitch find out about NOTCH'S meeting? And what kind of powers will all these cameo heroes and villains bring to the Minecraft Dimension? Find out next chapter in THE GLITCH!
*before anyone can leave the bakery a small dragon made of white chocolate runs up to the table and jumps on top of Pastrinator64, licking his face*
"Hey! It's Doughbelly from my story! How'd you get here?" Pastrinator64 asks Doughbelly.
*suddenly, Quinn also runs into the bakery and picks up Doughbelly*
"Bad little dragon! I told you not to go running off!"
"Hey, it's Quinn, also from my story!" says Pastrinator64.
*Quinn looks at Pastrinator64 with very confused eyes and says,*
"Wait, what?"
*the fourth wall shatters*
(Psst, I would just like to make an important announcement. The all-week posting has ended, and I will now continue with posting on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday for each week. Thank you, and goodbye for now! :D)