PotC 3 Review in Happy Little Ditties. Please don't sue me. And I'll try to keep the insanity part of me bottled up so that you just get the review.

I said I'll TRY.

Bitten reviews PotC 3!

Okay, I'll be honest. When I heard that "At World's End" was coming out, I thought it was going to be horrible. Really. But by April, I had changed my mind. I think that my decision was changed mostly because I watched a preview. In the preview, Barbossa cackled randomly. That stuck it for me.

Anyway, I shall review! Note: This review contains spoilers. If you haven't seen the movie, you probably should.

Well, to be honest, I went into that theater thinking, "Either this movie will spoil humankind, or it will revive the name of 'Pirates of the Caribbean'." Or something like that. Well, when I left that theater, I was astonished. Gore Verbinski, Jerry Bruckheimer and Geoffrey Rush pulled off the impossible: They managed to make a good movie, lift the name of PotC, finish the series alright, and kill Davy Jones, all in two hours and forty-five minutes. Yeah.

To start with, I'll show the crappy parts. Um, Elizabeth kissed three different guys (and she wanted to kiss another), there was excess gore, and a plothole or two, and there was a cheesy time when Jack, Elizabeth, and Barbossa walked (as a team, of course!) to their enemy peoples. She kissed Captain Yao Sung (maybe? Whatever Chow Yun-Fat played), James Norrington, Will, and she wanted to kiss Jack. (?) WHY?! SHE DISLIKED JACK BEFORE! COME ON! Okay, and the excess gore: A dude's toe fell off. Come on. A guy gets infected with tentacles. Dead bodies are eaten by birds. Why for? The movie was fine without them. Now for the plothole: WHY COULDN'T ELIZABETH BE WITH WILL?! I mean, Davy Jones was allowed to let people into his crew, so why couldn't Will let Elizabeth do the same?! Gosh. And Will Turner lived. That was probably the worst part of the entire movie.

Oh yeah. And Elizabeth wore a really bad hat.

Okay, now for the positives: Barbossa lived, there were several funny moments (MUCH like the first of the series) (unlike the second crap movie), everyone was mostly in character, the music was pretty original and good, and Cutler died! HOORAY! Hrm… what else? The ending was slightly saddening, something I thought PotC could NEVER pull off… hm, and Pintel and Ragetti were amazing once more! Tia Dalma disappeared (she was startin' to annoy me). OH HO HO! Jack and Barbossa finally drove Cutler nuts!! Whoot! I think that's incredibly funny. For some reason. And everyone was acting fairly well again, and… hm, several amazing lines. Let's see, like: "We shall have a magnificent garden party and you're not invited!" And the amazing laugh at the end. Oh, and: "Mr. Gibbs… (and Gibbs says "Yes, Captain?")you may throw my hat. Now go get it." What else? Oh, yes, Barbossa's cackle! HAHA! Ragetti: "I just thought I'd throw in my name for consideration." Yes yes.

And Norry died! So depressing…but, I'm not sure if that's a bad thing, or a good thing. Hm. It just kinda changed the movie. Kinda like when when Davy Jones died. It was weird. But not maybe a good thing, but maybe not a bad thing. You know? Well, I have to say I was terribly surprised about Jones dying and Will taking his place. I thought Jack was gonna do that. I think that's a good thing. When a movie surprises you, it's usually a good thing. I think. Unless it surprises you, like, someone you HATE comes back. Like…Will Turner. That was a BAD surprise. But, I guess if he leaves for ten years, you'll be happy for ten years. So, I suppose it's all good.

Hm. Wouldn't you HATE that job? I mean, it's worse than being the Waste Management people! You have to carry dead people a long ways for ten years straight. No mid-life crisis, and no change of career, like in LIFE. Sucky.

Well, let's see: 5 bad and horrible things, and 11 magically good things. 5 11, so good bad. Magical formula!!! So, that's my review. It was short, and probably inaccurate. (cough) Well, MAYBE not…

Alright. See you later. Ta ta!!

Bitten's magic review end.

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