Chapter 26: Layback

The next day, I finally felt human again. It no longer felt as though I'd need to sleep for hours after a great exertion, such as going to the bathroom with the help of two nurses. The downside of not being so tired was that it gave me time to understand how incredibly boring it was in a hospital when you're more or less confined to your bed. I had chatted with the nurses a lot longer than they probably had time for, and I felt a bit guilty about stealing them away from the other patients. The last nurse to come in had pointedly handed me the remote control to the TV and I resigned myself to a day of boring television shows.

I'd only gotten through half a show when the door was opened to reveal Heero. I had to throw a glance at the clock, but it was hours before visiting hours. It was hours before Heero was even supposed to stop working.

'You bribe the nurses to let you in early?'

'What?' he asked with a small smile as he started to sit down in the chair next to me. I reached out and grabbed his hand before he sat down.

'Could you…' I hesitated, not wanting to sound like a needy kid, but I pushed myself up to sit on the bed.

Heero got it, and edged in behind me. I leaned my head backwards and met him in a kiss.

I leaned against him as he wrapped his hands around my waist. 'You're early.'

'It's Saturday, Duo.'

I hadn't known that. I'd lost some concept of time while at the hospital. The days had a tendency to merge into each other when sleeping the irregular hours I'd been keeping. It was four days before the end of the Rift Wars waiting period. The first day of the waiting period had been the day of the finals. Shit, I'd been at hospital for a week! I wondered if I could get checked out before Rift Wars started.

'You've still got work, don't you?' I asked, bringing my head back to the reason why Heero was so early.

The hesitation from him made me pause. I could feel him hold his breath. I leaned out to turn my head so I could watch him. His jaw was tightly set, as though he was trying to keep something in.

''Ro? Talk to me?'

He sighed and put his head on my shoulder. Something felt off, and I shifted in his arms.

'Duo, what are you doing?' Heero asked when I moved my arm so I could wrap it around him.

'I'm tired of not being able to hold you.'

'When you're better you can hold me however much you want,' he said and took a hold of my hands.

'I'm better. What you're saying is soon as they take this IV out,' I said in bitter amusement.

'Yes,' he said and I leaned back against him again, and intertwined our fingers together so at least I could hold his hands tightly.

'Tell me what's wrong?'

'There's… I took some time off from work.'

Warning bells went off everywhere. He loved work. But then I remembered what he'd said before. He hadn't lost anyone to the ocean since his cousin, until a couple of days ago.

Shit, I was insensitive.

'What happened?'

He was silent and I moved my thumb slowly over his hand, not saying anything to press him on.

'It wasn't even a bad day. The surf was calm,' he said. He sighed deeply. 'One moment I saw him, and the next he was just gone. I went out immediately, but I couldn't be sure exactly where I'd lost him. I just saw him for half a second.'

He didn't have to say it. The ocean is treacherous. When you don't have a fixed point to go by, it's hard to know how far out it was.

'I dove under.' He squeezed his hands tightly around mine, lost in memory. 'I couldn't find him. We searched for hours before he was found.'

'It's not your fault.'

'He was lost in my area, I should have seen him.'

'Hey, 'Ro.' I shifted and tried to look him in the eyes, but he was gazing intently out the window. I retracted my hand from his and lifted it. The IV pulled at my elbow as I bent it, and I wanted to swear loudly, and throw it out the window. I was tired of it! I was tired of not being able to move the way I wanted. I didn't throw it out the window, but I did curse as I pulled it out of my arm.

'Duo!' Heero said, and scrambled for the IV line that was falling against the stand. He wouldn't have been able to catch it without pushing me off bed, so he stopped going for it as soon as he pushed against me.

I took the chance to tuck my leg underneath me and turn around to face Heero. I put my hands on his arms and drew him towards me. It was an awkward position, but he wrapped his arms around me and I could reach around him as well. Finally, I had him in my arms. His heart was racing.

'It's not your fault. Accidents do happen.'

'I know. I hoped it'd never happen to me again.'

'It doesn't work that way,' I said, and he held me tighter, not saying anything.

Gods, he was hurting.

'You've been beating yourself up about this since it happened?' I asked, and gently rubbed my hand in circles over his back.

He hesitated, then, 'Maybe.'

''Ro, there's nothing you could have done. His life is not on your head.'

'Yeah,' he breathed, but he didn't believe me. He wouldn't believe me. I hadn't been there to see it and all I could really do was to provide comfort. He leaned his cheek on my shoulder. There was a suspicious wetness on it and I moved my hand to the back of his head, where I could bury it in his hair.

It was close to ten minutes before he lifted his head. He withdrew and I let him go, pulling back my arms to myself. My injured arm was shaking from the strain of being held up for so long. The other arm felt kind of odd, and difficult to uncurl, which made me look down at it. There was crusted blood in the crook of my elbow.

Heero took a hold of my wrist, and twisted it slightly to be able to see properly.

'I'll get the nurse,' he said.

'I can wash it myself.'

'They'll need to put the IV back in.'

'I'm sick of it. I can't move around properly.'

He didn't listen to me. I hadn't expected him to. He got out of the bed, helped me lie back down, and took one step away from the bed when the door opened and a nurse came in.

She took one glance at the dropped IV, another on my arm, and sighed deeply.

'Sorry,' I said, shrugging.

'Well, you have proved to be a bit of an impossible patient. The doctors have said you're fine to go on normal tablets, so you won't need the IV anymore,' she said and wetted a cloth.

She took a gentle hold of my arm and put the cloth on it. She wiped it over my arm and the blood was quickly gone. She then proved her earlier statement by handing me a pill and a glass of water, urging me to take it, before she left us alone.

'I didn't mess up,' I told Heero with a wide grin on my face. He still stood a bit away, and I was relieved to hear him chuckle.

'You did. You were just lucky they were switching you to regular antibiotics anyways.'

I sat up in the bed, letting my legs dangle off the side, happy with my newfound freedom from the IV line. 'Hey, 'Ro? It means I'm getting better, right? I'll be out of here soon?'

He took a deep breath and walked up to me, placing his hands on my knees. I spread my legs and wrapped them behind his thighs, and pressed him forwards. I hooked my hands together at the small of his back. He put one hand on the back of my head and I leaned my head against his chest.

'You are getting better, a lot. Just two days ago you could barely tell me your name,' he said. I chuckled softly.

'It's Simon, right?'

'Last I heard, it was Doug,' he said in an amused voice.

'Really? It's got a ring to it. Maybe I should switch?'

'I like Duo better,' he said. I lifted my head from his chest and looked up at him with a smile. He smiled back, leaned down, and we were kissing.

A loud knock sounded from the door, making me jump. I leaned over slightly to be able to see the door open to reveal Hilde. She came in with a small box in her hands, closely followed by Quatre, Trowa and Wufei. All of them had their own boxes and I frowned.

'If you two are busy, we'll come back later,' Quatre said. I chuckled for him and let go of Heero, who turned and sat down on the bed next to me. I leaned against him.

'You can only do so much in the hour that the nurses leave me alone,' I said. 'You come bearing gifts?'

'You think you get gifts when you almost scared us to death?' Hilde said.

'I thought that was the point with hospital visits?' I replied with a wide grin.

'G asked us to bring these,' Quatre said and deposited his box in my lap before he sat down in the chair. 'He needed to go back to the mainland, but he said he'd call you later.'

'Call me?' I asked, and started to open the box. 'On what, exactly?'

'I got you a phone,' Heero said with a shrug of his shoulders.

I looked at him incredulously. 'You spoil me.' I gave him a peck on the cheek.

'I did it more for me,' he said with quirked lips. He leaned towards me and brushed his lips over mine.

'Ok, enough with the mushiness. Open the box already.' Hilde said and Heero and I parted with grins on our faces.

'This isn't mushy, Hil'. You and Solo were way worse.'

'Like hell we–' She paused and thought about it. 'Yeah, okay, maybe we were. But please, open the box,' she said.

I chuckled, but moved my hands to start opening the box in my lap. She was always like this when there was something she didn't know the contents of. Curious to a fault. It made her easy to tease.

'Hey, I've been thinking…' I drawled, dragging it out, pausing my hands with one edge of the box half open.

'Duo!'

I laughed, but relented and opened the box. In it was a bunch of letters, all addressed to G's office in Elto, with me as recipient. I took out the one at the top.

This was going to be the backlash from what I'd done at the finals. There had been television crews, journalists and photographers there to document everything; of course it would go on the news. I should have expected some public reaction. Rather, I had expected a public reaction, but it had kind of gotten lost in everything else over the last few days.

Heero's hand discreetly settled in the small of my back, and I gave him a grateful smile before I opened the letter.

There was one sentence in it that stuck with me.

You've made me stronger.

I gaped at it. Heero leaned in to read it as well, and I tilted it to him. His hand moved to my waist and he pulled me against him. I leaned my head on his shoulder, getting a bit tired.

'Is this the part where you tell me "told you so"?' I asked him silently, but he simply placed a kiss on the top of my head.

'What's in it?' Hilde asked, at the end of her patience, and I handed her the letter, along with the box.

'Oh, Duo,' she said when she'd finished reading it, and I was sure I could see her eyes shine, suspiciously wet. She handed the letter to Quatre when prompted, and he, Wufei and Trowa read it on their own as well.

'Do you think the rest are like this?' Quatre asked

I shrugged. 'Last time G sent me a bunch of letters they were all positive, so I assume he's been sorting them through.'

'Hey, Duo… if any of these mention the article in Surf'd…' Hilde started hesitantly, and I just barely resisted the urge to groan. I had forgotten about that.

She took out a copy from her back pocket and I accepted it with a shaking hand. I'm not sure if it shook because I was exhausted or because I was scared about the contents of that paper. Heero squeezed his hand gently around my waist, making me look at him. His brows were knit together in worry, and I smiled for him, trying to tell him that I wasn't too tired for this. His lips tightened, not entirely happy, but he didn't say anything.

'Middle page,' Hilde said and I opened the magazine in the middle, immediately met by a huge picture of me in a wave that looked to be over double overhead. I had a smile on my face and the sunrise was depicted behind me. It took the entire middle spread, and there was no text, except for the title. Sunrise Surfer.

'I wanted to show the article to you before I sent it in, but…' I got too sick, I finished for her in my mind.

'I read it,' Heero said, and I thought I saw a grateful smile on Hilde's face. If I didn't like it, it wouldn't only be on Hilde's shoulders.

I turned the page and the first thing that caught my eye was another picture, of me in a huge barrel, and then the last picture of me and Heero kissing in the water in the sunrise. The picture Trant had taken. I clenched my jaw, wanting to ask her why the hell she'd put that in there, but managed to avoid it. The text was wrapped around the pictures and I skimmed it over.

She had wrapped our conversations during the last month into a beautiful array of words. She'd written about my struggle after Solo, and how I'd come back on track through the help of friends. She'd written about my dedication to the sport, and finally, in the last paragraph, she'd written about love. She'd managed to put my love of surfing, my love for my friends, and my love for Heero into words that almost seemed to come to life.

No matter what or whom you love, it's all the same in the end. It all takes you towards the final goal of happiness.

I swallowed tightly. G had told me that when I'd first told him I was gay, and Hilde had managed to use it as her finishing quote for the article.

'Duo?' Hilde asked quietly, and I looked up from the article, into her eyes. They were wide, and I don't think I've ever seen her that scared before or after. 'Do you hate it?'

I shook my head. 'I saw the picture of Heero and me, and I wanted to.'

She opened her mouth, and I hurried to continue. 'But I can't hate it. It's absolutely beautiful. Shit, Hil', you never told me you were this good.'

She blushed, but a bashful smile appeared on her face.

'Shit, huh?'

I smirked. 'Yeah, go ahead, listen to the only bad word I said.' I scooted off the bed carefully, Heero's hand not moving an inch from its position on my waist. I held out my arms. 'Come here, Hil'.'

She practically flew to her feet and hugged me. Not tightly, she was cautious not to hurt me. I needed tighter, though, and I clutched her to me.

'I've been so scared you'd leave me, just like Solo,' she whispered into my ear as we held each other.

'Not this time,' I said, and she snorted.

'You're not very good at reassurances, Duo,' she said and we parted from our embrace.

Heero was quick to move me back against him when I faltered as I lost Hilde's support. It had been too much today. I was tired, and my legs felt a bit like spaghetti.

Heero held me tightly around the waist, and I could lean my back against his chest. He made no move to lift me up onto the bed, for which I was grateful. They didn't need to see I was this weak.

'Hil', there wasn't a word about me winning in there though.' I said, and she chuckled.

'Next page,' she said, and I flipped the page to see a picture where I accepted the winnings from Gundams. 'Michael was supposed to write it, but since you won, I got to do it instead.'

'And just how did you managed to get Trant to give you that picture?'

'Well, I didn't show him what I'd write. He cares about money, so he let us use it for some compensation.'

'You shouldn't have,' I said, and she bit her lower lip, looking uncertain of herself.

'I asked her to.' Heero said. 'It's a great picture, Duo.'

'I know, but –' I interrupted myself. My main concern had been that Heero was completely visible in it, but if he didn't have an issue with it, then who was I to complain? 'Sorry, yeah, it's a great picture.'

Hilde let out a sigh before her eyes strayed towards the clock on the wall. Her eyes widened minutely.

'I have to go, my flight back leaves in a little while,' she said, and I frowned.

'You're not staying for Rift Wars?'

'No, they need me elsewhere, but they have a freelancer here to cover it. Call me, Duo. And visit me anytime.'

'And you need to come back here' I said, before I realized I hadn't thought about what I'd do now. I hadn't discussed it with Heero at all, putting it off. To be honest, there wasn't a lot of discussion to be had. I'd made my decision when I'd read those words in the letter. You've made me stronger. I'd go back to the pro circuit. I hoped Heero would still have me.

'I will. Love you, Duo. Take care, and don't go back into the water until the doctors say it's fine, okay?' she said and leaned forward to give me a peck on my cheek.

I stopped leaning on Heero for a second and reached my arms around her in a hug again.

'I'll miss you, Hil'.'

'I'll miss you too,' she said and we parted. 'You've got my number though, use it.'

'I will,' I told her, and she left, the door making a final sound as it closed behind her.

I couldn't take it anymore, and my legs started to fold under me. Heero was there in a second, and lifted me into his arms much too easily. I tried to ignore the horrified stares I got from the other three in the room, and I looked intently out of the window as Heero put me down on the bed. He drew the blankets over me, and I noticed how cold it had been.

''Ro, I'm tired,' I whispered.

'I know, they're leaving,' he said just as I heard the door close again, and I dared to look back at Heero. 'Go to sleep.'

'Could you… read some letters to me?' I asked and he smiled. He pulled the chair in under him so he could sit down close to me. He bent down and put a stack of letters next to my pillow, opened the first one and took a hold of my hand before he began to read.

I tried to fight off the sleepiness. I wanted to listen to his voice, listen to what people wanted to tell me in their letters. As he put the fourth letter away, I was having trouble keeping my eyes open.

His lips brushed against my forehead.

'Sleep now,' he breathed. 'We can continue when you wake up.'

I sighed, and settled in to sleep when I thought about something.

''Ro, you think G filtered the letters?'

'No,' he answered, without a moment's hesitation.

'Why not?'

'They're all sealed,' he answered simply.

Well, shit.

A thousand thanks to Negasonic Teenage Warhead, duaimei, Courtyard Garden and Clave for your reviews.