Hiya!

I'm not dead. Just battling inner demons.
I'm sorry to say that this takes it toll on all of my hobbies and that's why I'm done from time to time.

Disclaimer:
I do not own any of the characters related to Final Fantasy franchise or the Square Enix, I would consider Dr. Phoenix and the story mine however.

Enjoy, Chapter Twenty Six of Fatum Amor!

Her eyes fluttered open, but it was just as dark as it was with them closed. Vanille narrowed her brows, and just then she realized that she was staring straight into someone's collarbones.

A smile curved her lips, and instinctively she held the body next to her just a little bit closer. A light exhale sounded from above her head, and soon the arm that draped over her shoulder pulled at her and gently pressed her cheek firmly against the collarbones she had been staring at. Vanille smiled as a chin nestled itself in her hair, against her scalp.

Vanille nuzzled into the warm body and held the girl as close as she could. Pressing a soft kiss against the pale skin, she hoped that Lightning wouldn't wake up and tease her or something.

When she retracted her lips from the fair skin however, a large bruise formed. Vanille gasped as the bruise sunk into the body and grew rotten. The arm draped over her suddenly grew rigid as the skin and flesh started rotting away too.

Hyperventilating, Vanille was unable to form words as the body of the girl she had fallen in love with dissolved into molten flesh in front of her. She screamed and—

"What's going on?"

Her eyes burst open the same moment her body jerked up into a siting position. The sun was shining in through the window and she could hear birds chirp through the partially open window. She was still gasping for air, but seeing the room intact around her calmed her some.

"Vanille, are you okay?"

The sleep filled voice sent waves relief through her whole system. Looking down, Lightning was looking up at her, her arm was sloppily thrown around her petite waist, and she was blinking slowly with half lidded eyes, apparently still half asleep thanks to the sleeping pills she had been given the night before.

The fact that Lightning had probably slept with her face against her breasts didn't occur to Vanille.

"I'm fine," Vanille replied with a relieved smile. "It was just a nightmare," she said and exhaled deeply.

"Okay," Lightning had her eyes closed now, but she was still lying with her face turned up as if she was still looking at the redhead. The younger girl smiled and gently stroke the pinkette's beautiful tresses, earning her a small and content smile in return.

Shuffling down, she pressed her lips against the sleepy girl's forehead. When she retracted and opened her eyes again, Lightning was still there and there were no bruise or rotten flesh. Just a goofy smile that made the redhead chuckle lightly.

Realizing the girl was laughing at her, Lightning narrowed her brows. "Shut up, stop laughing at me, I'm sleepy!" she groaned, still with her crooked smile on her lips. She moved to press her face between Vanille's breasts again, but the redhead stopped her.

"Lightning, what are you doing?" Vanille shrieked and shoved her hand in the pinkette's face. "Have you been sleeping with your head there the whole time?" her face was burning hot, and if she could see herself she guessed that she was as red as humanly possible.

She could feel Lightning grin against her palm, and hear the girls muffled chuckle.

"What!" Vanille shrieked, voice cracking of embarrassment over the pinkettes indirect answer.

This only made the pinkette chuckle more. "They're soft, it's nice," she mumbled from behind Vanille's palm as the redhead tried to keep her away from herself.

Vanille almost wanted to scream out of embarrassment, when she realized something:

"Lightning? Are you on meds?"

Her whole arm followed the motion as the pinkette nodded.

"Oh heavens, they went in here and I didn't wake up? They didn't mind me sleeping here?"

Once again her whole arm followed Lightning's motion as she shook her head instead.

"Who was it that gave you meds?" she asked, not really knowing what to feel at the moment.

"Phoenix" Lightning mumbled.

Vanille narrowed her brows, now feeling embarrassed. "Did she say something?"

Lightning smiled once again, Vanille could feel it. "She said it looked cozy," the pinkette chuckled.

Vanille felt even more embarrassed. "You where sleeping with your face between my..?" she didn't finish the sentence before Lightning started nodding. "Light! Goodness!" she now held the older girl at arms length, she was chuckling happily and holding on to the redhead's shirt for dear life so she wouldn't fall off the bed. Through chuckles and small noises of physical struggle, Lightning mumbled something from behind the younger girl's palm that Vanille couldn't quite understand. She retracted her hand from the pinkette's face. "What?"

It took a second for the girl to crawl back properly into bed. She was still chuckling. "She took a picture," she was grinning uncharacteristically while she brushed her now messy pink tresses out of her face.

Vanille felt the color drain from her face. Swiftly she moved to grab her phone. She had two new messages, one from an unknown number and one from Serah. With an ominous feeling in her gut she opened the message, while the still sleepy pinkette crawled back to settle her face in the petite girl's bosom.

Opening the message from the unknown sender, it only read "/Phoenix". Above it was a picture of herself, sleeping. With Lightning peeking up at the camera with only one eye open, cheek pressed against her breasts.

She felt like her head was gonna blow, just like the thermometer in the old cartoons when it got overheated. Doubting that she could get any redder, she opened Serah's message, and was immediately proven wrong.

Serah F:
Oh my, what have you two been up too? ;)

Exhaling deeply in frustration, she let the phone fall to the pillow and put her hands over her face. "Whyyy did you let her take that pictureee?" she whined.

Lightning chuckled, her breath warm against Vanille's tank top. "I wasn't really awake," she said and peeked up at the, still blushing, redhead. "She made me take some pills before I fell right back to sleep."

Vanille sighed and removed her hands from her face.

"Are you angry?"

She looked down. Lightning looked honestly worried. This made her smile. She liked Lightning on pills, they made her so much easier to read.

"I'm not angry," she said. "And will you please remove yourself from my chest, you're embarrassing me!" she said and pushed at Lightning's shoulders.

Lightning flashed her a mischievous grin. "No!" she barked and dove back into her bosom, chuckling wildly.

"Lightniiiing! That tickles!"

... ... ...

xxXxx

... ... ...

"Do you have to leave?" Vanille heard Lightning mumble from her spot on the bed. She lay with her back turned to the redhead, hugging a pillow tightly. Vanille watched her for a moment, her brows tied into knots. She sighed.

"I do, you heard Dr. Phoenix," she said as she walked up to the bed and climbed up to peek over the pinkette's shoulder.

She wore a deep scowl, and was most probably hiding an angry pout in the pillow. Vanille smiled and bit her lip, trying her hardest not to squeal, she knew the girl beneath her would take it as an insult, that she was laughing at her, and not in a loving way. She swallowed and straightened her face, before reaching out and gently stroking the pale cheek of the girl she...cherished.

The word and memories of yesterday woke butterflies in her chest.

Her touch gave her the attention she was looking for, the azure blue orbs she admired so much connected with her own. The angry lines around the beauties eyes softened immediately.

"You heard Dr. Phoenix," Vanille repeated softly. "You need rest for the test results to be correct this afternoon."

Lightning sighed into the pillow and directed her gaze elsewhere. She nodded slowly.

"Good," Vanille sat up. "Then I trust you'll be a good girl and rest plenty, okay?" she smiled at Lightning as she sat up and turned to her.

Lightning's cheeks were flushed, Vanille was uncertain if this was because of the medicine or not. Her azure orbs fluttered about on the bed sheets, before jumping up and connecting with her own green orbs.

"What is it?" Vanille asked, a small worried crease forming between her brows.

Lightning shook her head. "Nothing, I'll make sure to rest, I promise," she mumbled, her eyes diverted again.

Vanille nodded. "Good," Vanille smiled carefully, not fully convinced, she was pretty sure the pinkette had something on her mind. She didn't want to push though, she was sure Lightning would had said something if she wanted her to know. It'll come out in time, I suppose, she though as she climbed off the bed and walked over to the chair where she had dumped her shirt.

Pulling it over her head, she gasped lightly when Lightning was suddenly standing right in front of her when she emerged from the fabric. Her eyes were unfocused, cheeks a bit rosy, and she had this expression that Vanille recognized from when Lightning took her medicine last time. She looked thoughtful.

"What?" Vanille asked quietly, pulling at her shirt. "If there's something you'd like to say, just say it-"

Lightning lurched forward and pressed her lips against Vanille's, effectively cutting her off.

Vanille would have hit her head on the wall behind her, but Lightning had wrapped her arms around her, shielding her from harm as she gently pushed her backwards and against the wall.

Vanille's breaths were in the form of short gasps between kisses, her heart hammered to hard she was sure Lightning could feel it against her own chest. She could even hear it thumping in her ears.

The way the pinkette moved her lips against hers drove her mad, and when she came to and realized her hands were just hanging in the air, they almost instinctively shot out and gathered a hefty amount of Lightning's sweater in her hands and pulled her closer, hugging her tightly against herself. She could feel Lightning's lips pull upwards against her own and a sigh washed over her face.

Lightning felt the pressure on her back from the redhead's petite hands, it almost seemed like she was trying to make them merge with the way she pulled at her. She didn't mind, she actually like it, quite a lot.

She hadn't actually planned on kissing her, it was as if her body had acted on its own, and she blamed the meds. She found that she had a really hard time focusing with them, she wasn't quite used to it despite having used the same medicine preciously, but it's not something you can get used to, she supposed.

Her heart was running wild in her chest, and spread pleasant heat throughout her body. Lightning felt her cheeks burn, but she didn't care at the moment. She loved the sensation of Vanille's plump lips against her own, and the way she pushed herself against her.

Despite how much she loved the moment, she felt like crying, oddly enough. She didn't want the girl in her arms to leave, and especially not now that she made her feel so... incredible.

Her mind suddenly sharpened, as she felt the small hands on her back release the folds they had created in her shirt and travel upward. The small hairs in her neck stood on end, she knew she had to stop this before-

Vanille sighed into their kiss, she knew that she didn't only cherish this girl, she knew that this wasn't some little crush. She released Lightning's shirt and let her hands slide up to the girl's neck. She knew how she felt, every time their lips separated she felt the need for more, and every time they joined again she was reassured that Lightning must feel the same about her. Loosing herself to the moment, she absently started running her nails up Lightning's soft tresses, enjoying the feeling of her delicate skin against her digits.

Suddenly, Lightning gasped, and before she knew it, her feet didn't touch the floor any longer, they were gangling on each side of Lightning's narrow waist. Realizing that she was hoisted up into the arms of Lightning and pushed against the wall made her gasp audibly and rapidly wrap her arms securely around Lightning's neck , her reaction was born from both surprise, and from the heat that suddenly pooled in the base of her stomach.

A crooked smirk was all she could see before her lips was crashed into, and lightly bit down upon by Lightning.

Vanille felt like her whole being was throbbing with every hammering heartbeat.

Lightning's hands were running the length of the outside of her thighs, her tones stomach was pushing against Vanille in a way that made her happy she was being held up because her legs would have failed her if she was standing on her own.

Her heart stopped when a warm tongue suddenly licked her lip, and when she gasped, Lightning swiftly tilted her head to the side and deepened the kiss.

Lightning's spirit smirked, she didn't fail to notice how the redhead clawed at her back and neck. She loved the obvious way the younger girl gave herself to her. Having that power over someone excited her, to be completely honest.

Vanille's breaths were deep, she felt her head spinning. No matter how hard she pulled, Lightning just physically couldn't come closer. Before she could stop herself, a wimper-like moan escaped her lips. This brought a gasp from the pinkette.

Someone cleared their throat.

Lightning almost dropped Vanille.

Both teens whipped their heads around to see Dr. Phoenix standing by the door.

"Is this a bad time?" she asked, failing to hide just how amused she was, as Lightning shamefully put Vanille down gently, and the redhead stared holes into the ground. "I honestly thought you had left, Vanille," she spoke softly.

"I was just leaving," Vanille said just a bit too quickly, her voice cracked lightly. Dr. Phoenix smiled as the redhead quietly said good bye to the pinkette, before she gingerly left the room.

Vanille could hear Dr. Phoenix pointing out that lifting any sort of weight wasn't a very good idea right now.

She wanted the ground to open up and swallow her whole, how long had she stood there?! How could they not notice someone entering the room?!

She had trouble walking, and that fact answered her question for her, really...

She sighed and made way to the closest bathroom. Her pigtails must be a mess.

A few moments later, Vanille stepped out through the hospital's entrance doors, scrunching up her face when the sun hit her eyes. Serah was already there to meet her, and Vanille felt like not hanging out with Serah the moment she saw the mischievous look she had on her face.

"Hey Vanille, slept good?"

Taunt number one... Vanille thought. "Yes, actually," she answered truthfully. The younger Farron sibling smiled at her in this unreadable fashion, and it scared Vanille how similar Serah and Lightning really was. When they reached each other, Serah reached her arms out and hugged her friend, and Vanille hugged her back.

"So," the younger pinkette said, and Vanille feared for what could, or most probably would come. "How is my sister today?" Vanille released a small breath of relief; it was not the question she had feared.

They walked together towards the metro.

"She seems fine," Vanille answered.

"She always do, y'know," Serah sighed. "Until she goes and collapses," she added under her breath, with a clear hint of irritation in her voice, the irritation was also visible thought the small crease between her brows.

"Yeah," Vanille sighed.

Teaching the metro station, they showed their travel cards to the personnel and was allowed aboard the metro.

"At least Dr. Phoenix didn't seem too worried, so I'm guessing we don't have to worry too much," Serah said as they took a seat across from each other. They sat in silence for a moment. Serah fidgeted with her fingers. "Sooo-"

Vanille almost visibly cringed, she knew that this question had been at the tip of Serah's tongue from the moment they met up, but she had hoped that her friend had the decency to just drop it.

"What where you up to in that picture that doctor Phoenix sent me?" she asked and watched Vanille struggle and blush with delight.

The redhead was folding the edges of a news magazine they had found on the seats back and forth over and over, and the edges were starting to tear.

"Well y'know, I kinda ended up there because we were watching a movie on the TV a-and forgot to keep track of time and suddenly, y'know, suddenly the nurse was there and I got worried. But Light, she hid me and I ended up spending the night there because I didn't dare leave and get a scolding for being there after visiting hours," she mumbled.

Serah had to reach out and put her hands over Vanille's for her to stop frenetically folding the news paper.

"Vanille," the redhead looked up and met eyes with her best friend. Serah smiled. "It's okay," she ran her thumb over the back of Vanille's hand. "You guys haven't said anything, but you know it's pretty obvious that she's your girlfriend, you don't have to be ashamed of the picture or anything about it," she smiled genuinely. "I'll stop teasing you, promise."

Vanille swallowed hard. "We uh, I-I..." she bit her tongue.

Serah blinked. "You still haven't talked about what you guys are, have you?"

Vanille shook her head from side to side.

Serah sighed. "Vanille..." she whined. "Why is it so hard?" she added in a gentle tone when she saw shame in Vanille's eyes.

"I don't know..." Vanille mumbled. "I don't want whatever we have to change," she added under her breath. "She told me she cherishes me though," she added in a whisper, almost as if it wasn't meant for Serah to hear it.

But she did. "She did? Aww," Serah smiled fondly and tilted her head at her blushing friend. Vanille shot her a glare and a frown, a bit embarrassed. "Why do you think anything would change? I mean, it's pretty obvious how she feels about you, I'd say," Serah said, still smiling fondly.

Vanille shrugged. "I guess it's kinda obvious, and I'm just being silly," she sighed briefly. "But I just want the words, y'know, I want her to..." she swallowed her words. "I want her to ask me to be her girlfriend, or something like that," she added quietly, her cheeks growing a deeper shade of red with each spoken word.

Serah smiled. "But you know for certain that she loves you back now, right?"

They had arrived downtown and thus got up to leave the metro.

"Well, to be picky, she haven't said the L-word yet," Vanille mumbled.

Serah chuckled. "I see," she sighed. "Have you told her then?"

Vanille shook her head. "Not since, y'know.. well I blurted it out when I confessed, but... I don't know if she actually took it to heart, y'know," Vanille shrugged.

"As far as I'm concerned, you guys are a couple, I mean she obviously loves you," Serah said and smiled at the redhead, that still looked troubled and a bit frustrated.

"But it's not that," she sighed with frustration, but waited until they were out in the open so they could walk beside each other, instead of darting around other people, before resuming. "I know she likes me," she said quietly. "We just haven't really said the words yet, or even talked about what we want this, us, to be," Vanille admitted and looked at Serah, who smiled softly at her.

"You should really talk to her Vanille, it's so obvious how you both feel, so if you're uncertain, I really thing you should have the talk with her, you know," Serah smiled at the redhead.

"But Serah," Vanille whined. "I have no idea how things like this work! Can I just go up to her and ask her like that?" Vanille eyes her friend with desperation in every fiber of her being. "I'm so scared that this won't turn out how I imagine it to be, what if she doesn't want what I want?" she asked with a small lump in her throat.

Serah studied her friend for a few heartbeats before putting her arm around her shoulders. "Vanille, I'm going to tell you something you can't tell Lightning I told you, okay?" the redhead nodded shortly. "Good. Lightning was hurt pretty badly, her previous relationship wasn't healthy in any way, and she has deep scars from that. So please be patient with her, I believe she has a hard time to just let what has happened go, you know…" she paused for a bit and looked at Vanille, she had a thoughtful expression on her face. "Just, if you can't talk to her yourself, just be patient and wait for her to come to terms on her own, for her to come forward and tell you what she wants," Serah smiled at Vanille.

Vanille processed the information she had been given, before nodding. "Thank you," she said, she too smiling now. "I appreciate that you told me."

"Yes just I mean it, don't tell her I told you, let her tell you herself," Serah looked worried for a bit, her gaze fell to the floor and went clouded as if she was deep in thought. "It's a really sensitive thing for her, so she doesn't want people talking about it, I'm only telling you because you're so worried," Serah directed her gaze to her friend.

"I won't, it's safe with me, I promise," Vanille smiled softly.

Serah released her and smiled genuinely. "Thanks. Now, I don't want you to worry, so let's do some clothes shopping!" she exclaimed happily, and watched as Vanille threw her worries away and nodded enthusiastically.

"Let's!" she joined in, thankful that she had such a supporting friend.

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