.
A touch of Harry in the night
When they had apparated outside the Hogwarts grounds, Hermione turned towards Dumbledore. "I've something important to tell you," she said, "and I think it's better if all here know it as soon as possible."
Dumbledore raised an eyebrow questioningly, then nodded. "This is a good a place as any," he said, "please go on."
Hermione turned to her friends who had followed her exchange with Dumbledore and were now looking at her enquiringly. "When I was caught I was interrogated by Voldemort," she said calmly, ignoring the shock that registered on their faces. "Don't worry, I'm fine. But when I was there I thought that I could try to use the situation and Voldemort's Legilimency to our advantage. You know that our great problem is how to lure him to a place where we can perform the ritual on him. I thought if he read my thoughts and I'd show him a place he'd really be interested in then he'd try to get there. And then I recalled something Remus told me not long ago." She grinned at Lupin. "You remember when you said to me that for some time you thought that the secret library vault might contain the fabled Hogwarts hub? Well, I showed Voldemort just that. I showed him that we recently discovered that the reason why the vault was hidden is that within lies the access to a power source of indescribable potency."
There was silence for a few moments. Then Dumbledore chuckled. "A very clever idea, Hermione," he said. "If he believed you he'll be eager to get into the vault and try if he can use the power of the hub for himself. And it's a good place, we can close off the corridors which lead down to the library vaults and thereby control who gets in. But we should set up guards immediately, Voldemort might even now try to get into it."
"I don't think so," Hermione said, shaking her head. "As far as I know he wanted to meet someone tonight. But of course we never know, so I thought I should tell you as soon as possible."
Dumbledore nodded in agreement and suddenly everyone started talking, discussing what they should do now. Harry grinned at her. "Well done, Hermione. If this works out we really owe you something."
"But there still remains the problem of how we hold Voldemort once we get him down there," Lupin cut in.
Dumbledore shook his head. "Leave that to me. He won't be able to defend himself against the ritual."
Hermione shot him a curious glance, wondering how Dumbledore wanted to hold one of the most powerful wizards of all time, and Lupin and McGonagall looked doubtful as well. Dumbledore however ignored all further inquiries and set out for the castle at a brisk pace.
When they arrived there they set up a preliminary plan of what to do if Voldemort decided to attempt the vault that night. After the guards for the first shift had been chosen, all dispersed and Neville and McGonagall made for the hospital wing. Hermione wanted to follow them since the charms that Snape and Draco had performed on her were losing their potency and her body ached increasingly. But Dumbledore asked her to stay a bit longer and when the others had left inquired about Snape.
"I'll inform him of our plans immediately," he said when she had finished. "I suppose he was rather worried when he saw you, Neville and Minerva there."
"He was," Hermione said, uncomfortably aware of the knowing smile that Dumbledore gave her. "There's something else," she said to divert his attention. "Draco came to help me. He gave me this to defend myself." She drew out Draco's knife and showed it to Dumbledore. "I tried to persuade him to leave Voldemort, but he said he couldn't do that. Still, I think he might eventually decide to desert him, and I told him that he should go to you if he needs help."
Dumbledore beamed at her. "These are good news. Let's hope that Draco chooses the right path. Well, I've kept you long enough, you should go and see Poppy now." Suddenly his eyes softened. "You were very brave, Hermione," he said solemnly, and she felt herself blush. "I know it wasn't easy to face Voldemort. You've acted like a true Gryffindor and I'm very proud of you."
Hermione felt like a twelve-year-old under his grandfatherly smile. "It was the only thing I could do," she said, shrugging her shoulders. "And I was lucky that everything worked out and you came to rescue us. I only hope that It wasn't a great mistake to try and lure Voldemort here."
Dumbledore shook his head. "It was a good idea and we'll have to wait and see how it turns out. Good night, Hermione."
"Good night, Albus."
Hermione left and went to the hospital wing where Madame Pomfrey gave her several unpleasant potions to drink. Afterwards most of the pain was gone and Hermione just felt very tired. She went to her rooms and sunk down in an armchair with a loud sigh. Crookshanks came trotting towards her and leapt unto her lap, purring loudly and nudging her with his head. She stroked him and reassured him that she was fine, and then drew out Snape's dagger and Draco's knife, turning them in her hands. The memory of Snape's kiss came into her mind and she smiled. Finally she put the knives away, gathered up Crookshanks and went to bed.
...
Right after breakfast the next day Hermione, Neville and McGonagall went to Diagon Alley to buy new wands. All three were still suffering from the aftermath of what had happened the night before and walked through the Hogwarts grounds rather stiffly and more slowly than usually.
When they entered Olivander's shop he gave Hermione a surprised look, but McGonagall told him that there had been an accident with a charms experiment and although he didn't really look convinced he didn't say anything. This time it took rather long until Hermione found a suitable wand and she just hoped that she would be able to keep it longer than the last one.
They went back to Hogwarts immediately, worrying that in their absence Voldemort might have attempted to break into Hogwarts. But nothing had happened, and nothing did happen for the rest of the day. They had agreed on a plan and everyone knew what he or she would have to do if Voldemort should come, but for now they could only wait.
In the evening Hermione asked Dumbledore if he'd had any news from Snape and he replied that Snape had told him that Voldemort was very interested in the vault. Unfortunately he hadn't yet told Snape if and when he'd try to get into it. So all they could do was wait.
"I really hope something happens soon," Hermione thought at breakfast the following morning. The tension was tangible and especially McGonagall seemed uncommonly troubled. With a stab of worry Hermione thought that she looked as if she had been crying, but Hermione didn't know why that should be the case.
Nothing happened all day long, but in the afternoon Dumbledore called Hermione and she was glad for whatever diversion he had in store for her.
"Hermione, dear, could you do me a favour?" Dumbledore said when she came into his office, smiling at her.
"Of course, what is it?"
Dumbledore's smile widened. "It seems that Draco has finally decided to leave Voldemort."
Hermione couldn't quite suppress a surprised gasp. "Really? I'm glad," she said. She had thought about Draco a lot since he had given her the knife and now she felt truly relieved. "But are you sure that it isn't a trick?"
Dumbledore shook his head. "Not yet, but after all you and Severus told me I think it's unlikely. But I'll have to talk to him to be sure. And that's where you come in. Would you pick him up and bring him to me? He'll apparate to the large oak at the lake's shore just outside the wards."
"Sure," Hermione said, "when is he coming?"
"At half past five."
"I'll be there."
When about an hour later Hermione walked through the grounds to the place where Draco would apparate, she was wondering why Dumbledore had sent her and not gone himself. It seemed that he wanted her to meet Draco, perhaps because he thought that she had some kind of influence on him.
Hermione snorted. If someone had told her a few months ago that she'd be wondering about Draco's feelings for her, or even worry about him, she'd thought him nuts. Things definitely had changed. She certainly didn't like Draco and she didn't know if she ever would. He had been an arrogant and cruel snob, and no doubt about that. But she had to admit that with his background that was hardly surprising. Being the son of Lucius Malfoy and the pride of Slytherin certainly hadn't helped forming a more amiable character.
When she arrived at the oak tree about five minutes before Draco was expected, she sat down beneath it, leaning against its trunk and looking out over the lake. The weather was beautiful but with all the tension and excitement Hermione and her friends hardly noticed it anymore. Normal life was suspended until the final confrontation. In fact, Hermione thought sarcastically, normal life has been suspended for so many years now. It will be strange to get back to it – I'm wondering what it will feel like. It was Neville's birthday today, and would be Harry's tomorrow, but no one really felt much like celebrating.
The characteristic sound of someone apparating broke Hermione's train of thought and made her get up. Draco had appeared a few feet from her, his wand at the ready. As soon as he spotted her his face tensed and he pointed his wand at her.
"What are you doing here, Granger?" he snarled.
Brilliant, Hermione thought, this is going really well. She showed him her empty hands and said calmly "Hi Draco. Dumbledore sent me to pick you up."
He looked at her suspiciously. Eventually he lowered his wand but didn't tuck it away. "I thought he'd come himself," he said rather accusingly.
Hermione shrugged her shoulders. "Don't ask me about his intentions. Now are you coming or not?"
Draco hesitated a few moments, then started to walk towards the castle at a rather brisk speed so that Hermione had to hurry to keep up. When they had walked in silence for a few minutes he suddenly stopped and faced Hermione.
"You must have thought me a real fool," he said, anger in his voice.
Hermione looked at him blankly. "What? What are you talking about?"
His face was tense, if with anger or something else Hermione couldn't divine. "You know what I mean," he snarled. "I'm talking about me giving you that knife, and you asking me to help you and the others when probably all the time you knew that your friends would come to rescue you anyway."
Hermione felt irritated. "Listen, it wasn't as if I was there just for fun," she said in a pressed voice. "I hoped that my friends would come, but it was not certain." She paused, holding his gaze. "I meant what I said to you. And I was truly grateful for your help."
His mouth twitched but otherwise his face remained stony. Suddenly his eyes narrowed to slits. "Why should I believe you?" he snarled. "After all you're very good at dissembling, Granger. Nearly as good as Snape."
So it seemed that Snape had revealed his true allegiances to Draco. Hermione felt worried, but she had to trust that Snape knew what he was doing. Or was this just a trick of Draco to draw her out, to find out about Snape? Trying to keep her face blank she said, "I have no idea what you're talking about."
Draco scrutinized her for a few moments and finally his tension and anger seemed to lessen. He inclined his head a little, a sarcastic smile on his face. "Very well. Don't worry, your secrets are safe with me. Now shall we go?"
Hermione nodded and they went on. "I'm glad you've decided to leave Voldemort," she said after a few minutes of silence.
Darco slowed down a bit but didn't say anything. Hermione shot him a glance from the side, but his face was tense and unreadable again.
"He was very angry," Draco suddenly said. "When he came back and you were gone. Very angry."
Hermione shivered. She could imagine how Voldemort had expressed his anger and suddenly worried about Snape. Had he been punished, too? She wanted to ask Draco, but then decided against it.
"I won't help you fight him. I won't fight against my parents," Draco went on, his voice suddenly raw with emotion, "but neither do I want to be a part of this any longer."
He looked very weary now and far older than he actually was. Suddenly Hermione wondered what he had seen and experienced to make him change his mind and she shivered. "What will you do now?" she asked, surprised at how soft her voice was.
Draco shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. Depends on what Dumbledore says. I suppose I'll go abroad for as long as this will take."
He looked at Hermione and grimaced. "I hope Potter hurries up a little. I don't want to stay hidden for years."
She gave him a wry smile. "Believe me, we're doing our best."
They entered the castle and Draco stopped in the entrance hall to look around, an unconscious smile on his face. Hermione felt strangely touched. Hogwarts was home as much for him as it was for her. She brought him to Dumbledore's office where the headmaster greeted him with open arms and lemon drops. Then she made to leave.
"Good luck," she said, holding his gaze. "And thanks again."
He suddenly looked rather self-conscious. "I… I'm glad you're all right. And good luck to you as well."
...
The next day passed again in waiting for something which didn't happen. While there had been an atmosphere of tense but hopeful excitement after Hermione had told her friends what she had shown Voldemort, by now the enthusiasm had nearly vanished and only the tension remained. This was furthered when at lunch they got the news that Kingsley Shacklebolt and his whole family had been killed by Death Eaters the night before. There had also been an attempt on Moody's life, but he had escaped unscathed.
Hermione had known Shacklebolt only fleetingly but was nevertheless deeply shaken. "Do you think it might have been in retaliation for our escape?" she asked Lupin.
He shrugged his shoulders. "It is possible." He looked at her searchingly. "But you know it isn't your fault, do you?"
Hermione nodded but felt a cold lump in her chest. She was still confident that the war would be over soon, but this conviction was increasingly overshadowed by worries. Even if their plan worked it was still dangerous and people might get hurt or killed. Somehow Hermione had been able to repress this knowledge more or less until now, but after what had happened to Shacklebolt she couldn't ignore it any longer. She was especially worried for Harry and Snape who probably would be most exposed. All throughout the day Hermione tried not to think about what it would be like to lose them but couldn't keep her mind from the thought that they or some other friend might die.
Harry, Ron, Ginny and Tonks came in the evening to celebrate Harry's and Neville's birthday. On her way to Neville's quarters where the party would take place Hermione met Tonks, sporting unfamiliar flaming red hair and a tense face.
"Is anything the matter?" Hermione asked, worried that something had happened.
Tonks shook her head, her mouth pressed tightly. "Don't worry, it's nothing."
Hermione looked at her doubtfully and after a few moments of silence Tonks heaved her shoulders in defeat. "All right, it's not nothing, but it doesn't concern you." She hesitated. "I quarrelled with Remus."
"Oh, I'm sorry," Hermione said. During the last months she had alternately tried to convince Lupin that he should give in to his feelings, and encouraged Tonks not to give up on him, but she had no idea what the current status was.
Tonks snorted. "You should think that with the decision close at hand he'd be a bit less closed up, but whenever I try to help him or even just talk to him he rebuffs me." Suddenly the angry red of her hair changed into a drab gray. "And he's so worried," she said sadly. "He's worried that Harry will die, or I, or any of his friends. Or he himself. And I just want to help him but he keeps pushing me away."
Hermione didn't really know what to say. "I'm so sorry," she finally replied, looking at the young woman in front of her with a sympathetic expression in her eyes. "You are worried as well, are you not?"
"Of course I am," Tonks said quietly. "I know how it is – just look at what happened to Kingsley." She gulped. "As much as I hope that the decision will come at last, I know that some of us might not survive. And I don't want Remus to die." Suddenly her eyes were bright with tears. "I'm sorry," she said, shaking her head in embarrassment. "It's just this waiting and this constant tension. It's really getting to me."
"I know what you mean," Hermione replied. On a sudden impulse she hugged Tonks and held her close for a few seconds, the young auror returning her embrace. "Are you coming to Neville?" Hermione asked when she pulled back again.
Tonks nodded. "A bit later, I need some time to calm down." She gave Hermione a wobbly smile. "Thanks for listening to me. I'll see you there."
When Hermione arrived in Neville's quarters only he, Luna and Lupin were already there. She debated silently with herself, but finally went to Lupin and said quietly, "Could I talk to you for a second?"
He looked at her in surprise but then followed her to one of the large windows looking out over the grounds.
"I met Tonks on my way here," Hermione said carefully.
Lupin tensed and his face grew stony. "And?" he said rather guardedly.
Hermione sighed. "Look, she's really upset and worried. I know it's none of my business, and I wouldn't normally do that, but could you just let her get a bit...closer? She feels that you're pushing her away, and she's so sad about that and worried about you."
Lupin didn't meet her eyes but finally nodded. He looked old and tired. "I know," he said softly. "I'm just so worried about all of you, and about her... I... I don't want her to get hurt by getting closer to me and then perhaps losing me."
"I know," Hermione said, taking his hand and pressing it encouragingly. "But you're hurting her more if you keep pushing her away."
Lupin scrutinized her face. "I suppose you're right," he finally said with a little smile. "I think I should go and talk to her."
Hermione beamed at him. "Do that," she said, feeling happier than she had all day long.
The birthday party which was also attended by Dumbledore and some of the teachers was probably the strangest birthday party Hermione had ever been to. Somehow she and probably the teachers as well had expected that it'd happen then, that for some illogical reason Voldemort would chose Harry's birthday to attempt to break into Hogwarts, but nothing happened. Hagrid tried to spread some cheer, but most of them were so focused on Voldemort and the murder of Shacklebolt and his family that it jarred uncomfortably. McGonagall in particular looked rather downcast again, and Hermione was feeling increasingly worried for her, wondering if she was suffering from her kidnapping by the Death Eaters far more than they had thought.
When all the presents had been given and they had gathered around the birthday cake, Dumbledore, who exuded cheerfulness in a way that was nearly frightening, held a short speech, closing with "Now brighten up, after all tonight is a reason to celebrate." They tried to muster up some cheer, but it seemed artificial and they soon returned to talking about what they'd do when Voldemort would finally come. In spite of Dumbledore's assurance that he'd make sure that Voldemort wouldn't fight the ritual, they were less than convinced that it'd work. Lupin, Flitwick and Ron were discussing the problem, from time to time throwing curious glances at Dumbledore who was talking to Hagrid not far from them.
Suddenly McGonagall, who had been sitting alone nearby and observed both groups, straightened up and her voice cut through the conversations. "Albus, please tell them. They need to know." She was looking at him with a strange expression of sadness and defiance, and Hermione, struck by her odd behaviour, glanced from her to Dumbledore.
"Minerva, please," he said, and for a moment his usual mask of invincible cheerfulness slipped and revealed weariness and tender affection. Hermione felt strangely shy, as if she had seen something which she wasn't supposed to. Everyone had fallen silent and was now looking at Dumbledore, waiting for him to finally explain his plan.
After a few moments he sighed. "Well, it seems you have to know." Dumbledore hesitated and looked at them calmly, a small smile on his lips. "You don't have to worry about Voldemort because I will perform the Coniunctio1 charm to hold him."
Shocked silence greeted his words, and suddenly Hermione knew why McGonagall had seemed so troubled during the last days. The Coniunctio charm was an extremely powerful spell with which a wizard could hold another wizard and drain him of his power. But it was very rarely used because to perform it the caster had to use not only his magical powers, but his life-force as well. All of his life-force. The spell always ended with the death of the caster.
After a moment of shocked silence Harry, Lupin and Flitwick started to protest and to argue with Dumbledore, but Hermione looked at him and knew that it was useless. He had known this for a long time, perhaps ever since the night she had shown him Micaelus's diary. Tears welled up inside her and she shot a quick glance at McGonagall who didn't watch the conversation but looked out through the windows into the night, her face still and sad. Hermione ached with pity for her. She still had no idea how close her former teacher and Dumbledore were or had once been, but McGonagall certainly cared deeply for him and was cruelly affected by the knowledge that he would die soon.
Dumbledore meanwhile brushed away all protests and suggestions for alternatives. "Believe me, I have thought about it for a very long time and there is no other way." His voice was still cheerful but now had a steely edge to it. "And I am more than willing to do it if it rids us of Tom once and for all. Unlike him I am not afraid of dying." He smiled but apart from him everyone else looked deeply unhappy. The party, which had hardly been cheerful to begin with, now was virtually over, a heavy feeling of sadness and despair weighing down on everyone. Within half an hour all guests had left.
Hermione went to her quarters but was so agitated she knew she wouldn't be able to sleep. After pacing around her rooms for some time she had the urge to get outside, out of the castle, and left. She met nobody on her way through the dark corridors but when she stepped out of the large entrance door she found Harry sitting on the top of the stairs, gazing out into the dark grounds.
"Hi Harry," she said softly. "Couldn't sleep?"
He gave her a sad smile. "Same as you, I suppose."
She nodded and sat down beside him. She didn't feel much like talking and it seemed that Harry wasn't keen on it, either. But it felt good to have him beside her.
After they had sat there in silence for about five minutes Harry suddenly said, "I always thought I'd be the one who would have to die." He paused. "And now it seems it will be Dumbledore. And…" he hesitated, but then went on, "and I am strangely glad. Isn't that terrible?"
Hermione leant against him and laid her head on his shoulder. "No it isn't, it's natural. But I can understand that you feel guilty about it."
He took her hand and pressed it.
"It's terrible, about Dumbledore I mean," Hermione said after a few moments. "I can't even think about it."
"Yes." Harry said. "It's so strange, I really want this to be over as soon as possible, I can't stand the waiting any longer. But if that also means that Dumbledore will die…"
He didn't finish his sentence but Hermione understood him well enough and nodded. "It feels like a bad dream, doesn't it?" she said. "And I keep thinking that when I wake up tomorrow it will all be gone."
Harry laughed bitterly. "Yeah, that would be great." He shook his head. "All those years I only thought about defeating Voldemort and I never really thought about what would happen afterwards because, well, I didn't really think I'd survive…"
Hermione felt a stab of pain for Harry and pressed his hand.
"And now there might be a future," he went on. "I wonder what it will be like."
Suddenly Hermione had to think of another man who had never dared to make plans for a life after Voldemort because he thought that the fight against him would cost his life. And she felt so very sad about what the war demanded of Dumbledore, Harry and Snape that she couldn't help tears from welling up insider her.
"I don't want him to die," she said in a wobbly voice, not sure if she had meant Dumbledore or Snape.
Harry laid his arm around her shoulder. "Don't worry, Hermione," he said softly. "We'll be all right."
A harsh sob escaped her before she could stop it. "We thought that about Sirius as well, didn't we? And about Shacklebolt. And Fred and George. Face it, Harry, we don't know who will be alive when this is over. And I don't want to lose any more friends."
Harry's body had tensed when she had mentioned Sirius' name. "You are right," he said, his voice full of emotion, "we don't know. And trust me, I don't want to lose any more friends, either. But listen, we have to believe that we can make it, because if we don't, and if Dumbledore sacrifices his life in vain, I don't know what we'll do then."
Hermione only nodded, not trusting her voice. And then she cried silently because of all the pain that had been caused and would still be caused, and Harry held her close, his body tense with worry and his eyes fierce with determination and despair.
…
Ten points to those who get the literary reference in the title ;-).
I know Dumbledore is now officially gay (great move J.K.R.!), but ever since I read the first book I had him paired off with McGonagall in my mind, and so he'll stay in this fic.
As always thanks a lot for your kind comments! Only two more chapters…
1 Coniunctio = lat. for conjunction, connection