Re-tattered: I cannot send you a PM because you are a guest reviewer, so I'm making my point clear here. Fred 'thinks' that he forced his twin into it, but George wants him with the same intensity he has for him. Guilt lurks somewhere in the depths of his mind because he was the one who kissed him first. But if you read chp. 14, George says that he 'without knowing it was attracted to him all along', the way he avoided socializing and was content with just Fred's company, and Fred's kiss stirred the sleeping attraction George had for him to life.
I only wanted to show Fred as the more sexual one of the two, who likes to express his love intensely, whereas George is a bit more adoring, and likes to express his love with sweet gestures. And that was what I meant when I used the words 'devil' and 'angel'. (J.K suggests Fred as more rash and impulsive while George as a bit more sane, so I got the idea from there). By wanting to make love with him, he isn't thinking of 'tainting' his twin, but rather 'loving' him.
'This feels so right in spite of being so wrong' summarizes Fred's subconscious thoughts.
...
Guest: Fred tried to kill himself because he, on top of being shattered after what he saw, has the burdening self-reproach of forcing the relationship on his twin (NOT of loving him). I thought it would only be sensible that he, though on the conscious level, has an unquenchable love and desire for his twin, has a deep guilt, and doubt in the authenticity of George's love as more than a brother, inside him, which jumps up at vulnerable moments. I wanted to show him as an extremely confused guy, torn between his love for his twin and remorse as he 'feels' that he forced the relationship. In this manic, mad moment, he isn't thinking of hurting George, but rather freeing George of his dependence on him and let him follow his wishes without him to hold him back from it.
...
Well, Fred is quite mad right now. So, beware! Poor, poor George.
He felt his arms wrapping around his waist in a vice-like grip, like strong iron fetters. He yanked him backward roughly, and they tumbled down on the stone floor of the Astronomy Tower. Fred lay on his back on top of his twin, kicking and struggling viciously as they hit the floor.
"Freddie! Freddie! Calm down, baby! Freddie!" his twin's voice was panic-stricken as he gripped his upper arms tightly, trying to stop him from flailing about his arms.
Fred was kicking his legs with renewed vigour instead, and thrashing his body about, as though going through spasms.
"LEAVE ME! LEAVE! DONT TOUCH ME! DONT!" he roared and kicked and thrashed.
Anger was returning with a formidable wave, filling his every nerve, every cell, every fiber. It felt as though he would explode with this monstrous fury he never knew he had in him.
"Freddie! Listen! Fred! Stop it! Calm down, Freddie! Listen!"
Fred pulled his arms aggressively from his twin's grip, and in one fluid motion, turned around and gripped his twin's arms, hoisting him up roughly.
"YOU!" Fred was struggling to breathe, because his throat was constricting due to utter rage. It was as though he was possessed by some demonic spirit.
"Fred!"
He could not see how terrified his twin was, because he was blinded by rage.
"AARGH!" he banged his twin against the wall. Hard.
"Fred! Please listen!"
Wham!
He gave him a bone-shattering punch on his jaw with his tightly clenched fist.
"Fred!"
Slap!
He slapped him hard across his face. Then gripped his shoulders tight, and shook him roughly, while roaring like an animal.
"Fred!"
His twin then doubled over, while his breath came out in a single wheeze, because he just thrust forth his knee hard onto his stomach.
"YOU! H-HOW COULD YOU?! H-HOW DARE YOU?! he roared at his face, while shaking him relentlessly.
His twin's face then contorted into acute enragement as he struggled against his grip, and they shoved and wrestled with each other, struggling for dominance, arms meeting arms in frenzy, nails clawing and tearing at skin in their mad struggle, while panting hard into each others' faces.
"JUST FUCKING LISTEN, FRED!" his twin yelled while fighting him back.
Fred couldn't even speak due to the wrath boiling his blood. His only aim right now was to batter his twin as much as he could.
Then, his twin successfully gripped both his wrist with a hand, while his other hand struck him hard across his face, stinging his cheek. Stars danced in front of his eyes, his nose felt sickeningly numb with pain, and his ear rang with a buzzing sound.
His baby brother hurt him for the first time in his life.
"I WAS LYING UNCONSCIOUS IN A ROOM! I CAME RUNNING INTO THE GREAT HALL LIKE A MADMAN, SEARCHING FOR YOU! YOU WERE NOT THERE! I ASKED AROUND, AND-" he stopped to gasp with a sob, "-A B-BOY SAID HE SAW YOU RUNNING INTO THIS T-TOWER!" and he broke down, weeping hard as he slid down slowly onto the floor.
Fred stood there for a few seconds like a sculpture carved out of ice. His twin's outburst simply bounced off his head, not making any sense.
He felt George gripping his legs now. He was clutching on to his legs, resting his beautiful head against a leg, sobbing uncontrollably, whimpering, "It w-wasn't me..Freddie..d-darling..it wasn't m-me.."
His words were slowly sinking in. But it still did not make any sense.
But his Georgie was crying now, leaning into his legs.
He hurt his twin.
And tears of downright shame and pain rolled down his cheeks.
He laid hands on his love in his uncontrolled, violent fury.
He crumbled down beside his shaking twin. George opened his arms in one swift movement, and before he knew it, he was engulfed in his warmth. His love was squeezing him as tight as he could.
"Freddie, oh no..oh Merlin..Freddie.." he was shaking frenziedly, his sobs muffled against his shoulder.
He stooped so low. He was appalling. He laid hands on his Georgie.
"Oh Merlin..what would've h-happened i-if I.." his twin cried loudly into his shoulder, shaking with each pitiful groan.
He was a horrible brother. He laid hands on his Georgie.
He shouldn't have touched even a hair on his Georgie even if he bloody slept with a girl.
It was his bloody problem that he was so damn infuriatingly possessive. He should curl up into some corner with his fucking problem rather than hit his twin so brutally.
"I- Georgie..I'm.." he whimpered, staring into his love's damp hair, shame filling his body.
"Oh Freddie..my love.." George broke the hug suddenly and started kissing his face frenziedly, cupping his face strongly in his hands.
Fred started breathing fast in surprise and ecstasy, yes, ecstasy; even in this horrible situation, his twin's kisses turned him on.
"Freddie..I love you so much.." his twin kissed his lips repeatedly, "Oh what w-would've h-happened if I-" he could not complete the statement, because he was moaning wretchedly against his lips.
"G-Georgie.." he whispered brokenly against his lips, and their tears and breaths mingled as they kissed frantically, holding on to each other like lost children.
Fred looked into his love's tear-streaked, distraught face, and cried as he wiped his tears gently.
"I'm h-horrible..I'm s-sorry, Georgie.." he caressed him softly where he hit him, "I'm so sorry..f-forgive m-me, please.." he whimpered ruefully, sobbing hard as he kissed his jaw.
"A-and I am t-too.." George caressed his face lovingly.
George moaned in grief and relief and exhaustion. So many feelings were coursing through Fred too. He felt relieved, loved, loving, sorrowful, rueful...
"Promise me, love," George's blue eyes suddenly burned with a fiery passion and obsession, "promise me," he pushed Fred down onto the floor gently, and straddled him impatiently.
George moved his lips slowly against his, breath extremely ragged, while his tears were flowing onto Fred's cheeks, mingling with his own tears.
"I w-want you t-to promise me, love.." George whimpered as he moved his lips to his cheek, and captured Fred's tears. His breath felt warm and soothing against his cheek as he whispered, "that you won't ever.." and George cried, "y-you w-wont, ahh..y-you w-w..." George was crying hard, his body shaking against his as his pale, beautiful hands buried themselves in his hair, while Fred, trembling against him in just the same manner, held him close, valuing him more than his own life.
"I..p-promise y-you, my love.." Fred cried, "I promise that I'll..n-never leave y-you.." he stopped because he was finding it difficult to speak, words choking in his tightened throat as tears flowed freely, "Th-that I'll v-value m-my life f-for y-you..."
And they did not speak a word after it, because they lay twined on the stone floor, with the gaping, starry heavens gazing at them knowingly and approvingly, the cool wind caressing them quietly, and trees rustling below them happily..
Crying away their worries, their apprehensions, their doubts, guilt..
And embraced their beautiful incestuous relationship, their hearts free of plaguing doubts.
Haruhi Lawiet's right once again! I created this incident for character development. :) And so is GeorgieForever. :P
Please review!