Chapter 26: Historical Customs and Family Planning
Summary: Sebastian celebrates his first Christmas
Jeff leaned over Annie and carefully gave her a kiss on the forehead, doing is best to not disturb her as she began drifting into slumber. It had continued to be a hectic time in their household, and he wondered if she had been disappointed that her birthday celebration last week had been more than a little subdued, despite his and Sophie's efforts with cake and party hats. Sebastian had been fussy and in need of more soothing than usual, which Jeff tried not to take personally. He had really wanted Annie to have her day.
But she hadn't seemed to care that much, her focus intent on mitigating their newborn's woes. She would coo at him in a tone Jeff vaguely recalled her using with Sophie way back when, and her attentions usually did the trick, the baby calming and either sucking away or blissfully gazing up at his mother's face.
"Do you have him?"
Jeff smirked at Annie's mumbled question, and he patted the bundle plastered to his chest. The wonders of swaddling technology ceased to amaze him, even if he did slightly freak out when Annie had helped him rig everything up a few minutes ago. Sebastian had almost instantly calmed, and if Jeff didn't know any better, he could have sworn he'd seen a half-smile. It was probably gas, but he'd take it.
He replied, "I've got him. Go to sleep."
She murmured something unintelligible and then in a startlingly abrupt transition, began to softly snore. He stood up fully and glanced down at the baby, now giving him a kiss on his fine baby hair.
He whispered, "We got this, squirt. Let's let Mama rest."
X
X
The wonders of his new arrangement continued, for now his hands were free. Despite being giddy with sleep deprivation, he busied himself with putting away clean dishes. It was absolutely perfect the way he didn't have to worry about the squirt at all, for he was right there. He'd hear any hint of a cry and he'd be able to tell if he stopped breathing.
He glanced down at that horrible thought, and was relieved that all breathing was still occurring.
The buzz of his phone was a little jarring, but he quickly reached for it on the counter and seeing it was Ian, picked up.
"Yeah?"
"Jeffrey, I'm so very glad I reached you. I am in need of assistance, my good friend."
He winced, not knowing what he was thinking in answering.
"Crap, I don't have time for this. Do you not realize the massive event that's been my life these past three weeks?" He had the alarming thought that tomorrow was Christmas, which was technically the day Sebastian was supposed to be born. The only thing he had done in preparation was help Sophie with her present for her baby brother. He glanced down once again at the fuzzy haired creature molded to him and felt a rush of contentment in his heart.
"I know, Jeffrey, which is why I haven't bothered you with my troubles up until now. But I don't know what to do. I need help."
"What kind of help?"
"I'm in front of the Dirty Cowgirl, my dear chap. If I go in, I'll be blotto in no time."
A furry paw stepped on his toe, and he glanced down to see Ruffles staring up at him, her ears cocked. He briefly wondered if she sensed it was Ian on the phone. She hadn't seen him all of winter break, and Jeff suddenly felt irrationally guilty that perhaps keeping Ian from the dog led to his current potential re-spiral into drunkenness.
"Crap. Do you want to go in?"
"I need help."
Jeff sighed and ran his hands through his hair, which was not really coiffed to his usual specifications since he hadn't really planned on leaving the apartment today. He considered his options, aware that his mother had let Sophie accompany her to the vet's after Hank had gotten what she suspected was an ear infection. Annie was blissfully asleep, and Sebastian seemed to be doing all right at present.
Ruffles barked, and he almost jumped.
With a rub to the bundle at his chest, he said, "I want you to meet me somewhere. I'll text you directions."
"You're a lifesaver, Jeffrey."
X
X
He didn't know what he was thinking, but thinking was more difficult these days so he didn't really give a damn. Somehow he managed to make his hair look decent, assure himself that the baby was dry, and clip Ruffles to her leash.
He threw on his winter coat, wrapping it around Sebastian and zipping it up. It probably looked ridiculous, but for a change he wasn't going to try to do anything about that. For good measure, he used a scarf so that the baby's head wasn't exposed and fitted him with one of his adorable knit caps. So far the kid hadn't been outside more than a few minutes at time as they took him to and from the car for his bris and his pediatrician visit. He wanted to ensure he'd be okay on a two block walk and figured that his own body heat would help.
It never got insanely cold in Colorado until late January/February anyway, so he consoled himself that this wasn't a stupid thing to do. Ruffles was going to pee their floor anyway.
The trio made it in the elevator and then out to the sidewalk, and Jeff reminded himself that there was a first time for everything. His life was so radically different from five years ago that it was fucking insane if he stopped to think about it. He could do take care of his newborn, and Annie could get some needed rest.
He balanced the diaper bag on one shoulder and held the leash on the other side and slowly began to make his walk toward the Yellow Rose Cafe.
X
X
The door opened with a jingle, and Ian's head shot up from his spot in a cozy corner of the nearly empty cafe. He was already gripping his tea, shuddering at the fact that it was in a overly huge mug yet grateful for the warmth. He tried to push out of his mind that it really could use a proper saucer.
At any rate there stood Jeffrey, his hulking frame even more pronounced by his puffy coat and scarf. He was a fine specimen indeed and if he weren't mostly hetero he'd have jumped his bones given half a chance. He certainly understood what Britta had seen in him.
Britta. He wanted to cry.
Instead, he offered a friendly wave, and Jeffrey nodded in his direction before indicating with his head down to the delightful creature at the end of his leash. Her head was cocked, and her little black eyes pierced into his soul.
"Ruffles!"
His heart swelled and he was surprised to suddenly realize he was standing. Jeffrey let out what sounded to be a short dry laugh.
The woman behind the counter exclaimed, "Oh, so you did bring him! He's such a darling!"
"Thanks, but it's a she. Her name's Ruffles. And thank you."
"No problem. My boss isn't here anyway, and it's so cold outside. I appreciate you calling ahead to check, though."
Ian found himself scrambling forward to give Ruffles a proper greeting.
X
Jeff knew instantly he had made the right decision. Talking Ian down from a potential bender was always a tedious process, but Ruffles had a calming effect on him. Jeff couldn't imagine Ian would even consider actually going to a bar after nuzzling his favorite dog.
Ruffles was clearly ecstatic to see him as well, and Jeff had a suspicion Ian was second to Sophie as her favorite person. He didn't understand the appeal exactly but was also aware they were friends for some reason. Ian was a strange guy, but he grew on you.
He dropped the leash into Ian's hands and let them get reacquainted while he removed the scarf and unzipped his coat to reveal his other special companion. The woman behind the counter, who was confirmed to be quite young and likely working early Christmas Eve as a college gig, squealed and clapped her hands.
"You brought a baby too!"
Jeff grinned and said, "We needed to get out. He's three weeks, so please excuse him if he isn't that friendly."
"Awww, what would you like?"
"Coffee. Black. Strong as you got it."
"No problem."
Within a minute, they were seated across from Ian, Ruffles under the table, her head on Ian's feet. The barista had gotten them a water dish for Ruffles and had even poured Jeff's freshly-brewed coffee. He supposed it didn't take long to get something if it wasn't full of anything else.
He considered it might be wise to very carefully sip his beverage, as Sebastian was right there. He smiled sheepishly as he hesitated and then replaced the mug on the table.
Ian was now staring at the baby, his eyebrows comically arched as he took it all in.
"It was unavoidable. Annie's sleeping."
Ian nodded his understanding and then remarked, "You look like hell."
"Ah, thank you. I try my best." Jeff grimaced and very slowly picked up his mug and then leaned in the opposite direction of Sebastian's head to sip. As the hot liquid hit his throat, he suddenly felt more human.
"It's good to get out, actually."
"Thank you for meeting me."
"Don't be stupid and start drinking again. You've come a long way."
Ian shrugged and sipped his tea, staring once again at Sebastian. After some silent beats he said, "Britta ended it."
Jeff closed his eyes in near pain, not because he was that invested in their weird relationship but because he knew this was going to be very bad. Ian did not do well with things like this, and it was with a sinking heart that he faced the real possibility that they'd have to also take Ian in, at least for Christmas. He wondered if he'd fit in the hall closet or possibly the bathtub.
Opening his eyes, he said, "Crap, I'm sorry."
"She tried to do it a couple weeks ago after complaining I was buttering the toast a little too loudly, and no that is not a euphemism. I pretty much avoided her, but she found me last night Jeffrey, and she made her position clear. We had a good shag to say goodbye, but I woke up bereft."
Sebastian began to whimper and Jeff wondered if he needed to move around. He began to carefully unbundle him as he said, "You're gonna be okay."
"I don't know. She was the light of my life these past couple years. Now it's just me and Kevin, and even he's thinking of moving out now that the Dean's talking about him actually teaching a Spanish class after he graduates in May. I'll be so very lonely. He'll probably even take the crabs."
"Of course he's going to teach at Greendale. My god…"
"I said I'll be so very lonely."
Jeff glanced up from Sebastian's adorable, now more awake, face to regard Ian's puppy dog eyes inching closer to him from across the table. He quickly averted his gaze and finished unwrapping while saying, "You should get a dog."
"I want Britta."
He sighed as he cradled Sebastian with one of his arms while tossing the wrap to the side. He then deftly unzipped the diaper bag and produced a mini-boppy which almost instantly sprung outward. Ian reached forward to grab the thing and then they settled it to Jeff's side and he slid the crook of his elbow onto it, wedging the pillow in between him and the hair arm.
"That was smooth."
"Shut up. I'm still trying to get a handle on this whole new fatherhood thing."
He smiled down at Sebastian, who was staring up at him with recognition. At least that's what it seemed, and from what he had read was likely true at this age. He was becoming more interactive by the day and now held up a little fist and cooed.
"Yes, you are such a strong little guy. Wait until we do more tummy time later when your sister comes home."
"Jeffrey?"
"Hmm?"
He startled at Ian's tap on the table and looked up to see a curious expression.
"Dear God, I've lost you too."
"Oh come on. You have not." Jeff rolled his eyes.
Nodding vigorously, Ian said, "Yes, I have indeed. And I can't really fault you, I'm sure, as you clearly have a lot going on and your baby is damn adorable."
"Thanks." Jeff smirked and then resumed regarding the baby, once again attempting to figure out the eye color. There was definitely more of a hint of blue these days, and that was in part more visible due to Sebastian opening his eyes more wide, which, along with his wrinkled brow, lent him the appearance of a slightly old man. Abed kept saying he looked like Yoda, and so far Jeff had ignored him but in this moment was starting to see the resemblance.
Sebastian let out a cry, and he quickly motioned for the bag, which Ian slid over to him. He pulled out the pacifier from the side pocket and plopped it in his mouth. Instant contentment.
"Dear lord, you're smitten."
He was now aware of the grin he felt in his cheeks but didn't really care about making any efforts to be suave and cool. Afterall, he was sitting with his son in his arms in a cozy little coffee shop, his odd friend and dog by his side. There was no need to be a flashy lawyer or engage in any sort of impression management. Plus, he had no energy.
God, he did love his little squirt. It was insane how much that was true.
He whispered, "You're doing great, buddy."
Sebastian sucked away and the drool began to roll down the edges of his mouth. Jeff grabbed a small cloth from the bag and dabbed him before placing it back.
It was about a minute later when Ian loudly cleared his throat and resumed his tale of woe.
"Britta plans to get her own place this summer, and if all goes well complete her masters in the coming year. She then has some big plans, and I'm afraid I don't fit into them."
Jeff nodded in sympathy and said, "Yeah, she told me she wants to be a mom."
"She did?"
"Yeah, we had a little chat after the squirt's bris. She also led me to believe she was going to talk to you about your relationship."
Ian hunched forward and placed his chin on his hands, the most saddest of expressions Jeff had ever seen on fully display. He moaned, "She wants to be a foster parent, and she knows I don't want children. So there was nowhere to go with this. I had been hoping she'd move in when Chang left, but alas."
"Eh, you sure you don't want kids?"
Jeff internally berated himself for the question, not necessarily wanting to venture into the intricacies of Ian's mind, but it was too late, and he blamed his hormones. He swore he was getting intermittent oxytocin boosts in order to persist in changing diapers.
"It wasn't something I ever saw myself doing."
"Neither did I, but here I am. Just look at this little guy."
Ian lifted his head and peered over at Sebastian. He sighed, "I've held plenty of babies, Jeffrey. I've never once felt the paternal urge."
With thoughts of Britta's heartbroken hunched figure on the synagogue steps flashing through his mind, Jeff pushed back his chair and stood. He walked over and carefully handed the baby to Ian. He then sat back down and grabbed his coffee and took a hearty sip.
"Jeffrey, this is not helping."
"Oh, you're great with him. Look at that cradle."
Ian rolled his eyes and then as Sebastian began to fuss, deftly transferred him to a football hold, and when that didn't do the trick, moved him onto his lap in a face to face position, and then finally turned him onto his belly on one hand, and caught the pacifier as Sebastian spit it out.
Jeff stared wide eyed at the whole display and at his son who was now seeming very at ease in facing the floor. He glanced down to see Ruffles cocking her head up at the baby and wagging her tail furiously.
"How the crap did you know to do that?"
With a bored countenance, Ian explained, "It's a fairly simple hold, Jeffrey. I told you I've held plenty of babies. My cousin, who is actually a whore, has five of them. Sebastian seems to enjoy this, probably because he'd rather look at Ruffles' face than mine. You're welcome."
"Oh, shut up, Ian."
X
X
Annie heard the door open, and she felt a rush of affection for her boys, as she had awoken to Jeff's note and been both relieved at being alone for the first time in weeks and also a little worried. She told herself she was being silly, as Jeff was perfectly capable of handling Sebastian, but it was still all so new for him. She hoped he wasn't overwhelmed.
Ruffles greeted her by jumping onto the couch to be by her side, and she heard Jeff and Ian's voices.
"This will be a merry old time indeed, my chap."
"Oh, you're sooo welcome."
Ian poked his head around the corner and gave her a wave. "I hope you don't mind, but Jeffrey would like me to bunk with the Dean tonight but spend most of the evening with you."
She figured there was something going on, and she made a note to give Britta a call when she got a chance. She wondered why she hadn't heard anything from her, and Jeff had already clued her in as to their conversation at the bris. She sighed inwardly as she considered she wasn't being a very good friend lately to Britta, but as Jeff rounded the corner with Sebastian wrapped to his chest, she remembered the very good reason why that was the case.
With a big smile, she said, "Awwww, my boys together. How did it go?"
Jeff winked at her and replied, "He did great. He really does like being fused to me, but he had a little bit in the middle there when he wanted to wiggle a little and be held. Uncle Ian did a fantastic job, which is why he's going to talk to Britta."
"I never promised any such thing." Ian scowled and plopped into a chair, readily accepting Ruffles as she jumped into his lap. "I have my friend here, and I'll have you know I think I will consider getting a dog when Kevin moves out. That's all I need. I think it might be very lovely indeed."
Annie exchanged worried looks with Jeff and then walked over to him. She pet Sebastian's head and leaned to the side so she could catch his eye.
"Aww, he looks so happy."
"He can't smile yet."
"No, but I can tell. His little eyes are happy. You love your daddy, don't you? He takes such good care of you."
She kissed the baby's nose and nuzzled in, taking in his smell. She missed him so much while at the same time relishing some freedom. She had already reorganized the laundry supplies and color coded his onesies, which made her feel competent and together.
She hummed, and Jeff placed his arm around her and pulled her in closer.
"I have some good news. I couldn't wait for you to get home so I could tell you."
"You're pregnant."
She swatted his arm and stared up at his smirking face. With squinty eyes, she said, "I'll have you know that I got an a plus on my final forensics exam. It was all worth it."
His eyes widened, and he cleared his throat, taking an oddly long pause before giving her the expected congratulations.
"Wow, great job."
"Thank you." She preened and ignored his perplexed expression.
X
X
The next day was Christmas, and Jeff and Annie were touched when Dorie and the Dean announced their plans to host dinner at the Dean's apartment and invite some friends over. They had a suspicion everyone had been invited ages ago but that no one had wanted to bother them with the details over the past few weeks.
Ian of course was still at the Dean's and was planning to stay another night, at Dorie's insistence. Buzz came over with Abed and Troy, as apparently they had needed a ride due to Troy's car breaking down on fifth avenue during a cheddar run to Penelope's nana the night before. Jeff and Annie knew better than to ask any questions about that. Kevin was apparently at his ex-wife's house in some bid at reconciliation which Ian had also been moaning about in his sleep, according to the Dean. Pierce and Gilbert had jetted away to the Bahamas for a couple weeks, which was probably best as there wasn't a lot of room after Holly and her kids showed up and explained that they were staying at a hotel nearby. Britta had texted thanking Dorie for the invitation but explained she was going to be spending the holiday with her parents for the first time in ten years.
Shirley popped in with little Ben to snuggle Sebastian, give Sophie a bunch of kisses, and saddle them all with a huge plate of pies. She then with a tone of weariness excused herself to go back to host her in-laws.
"It's a Dean-tastic Christmas, everyone!"
"Happy Dean-miss!"
"No, Troy, it's Christmas."
"You know I can't celebrate Christmas unless I'm covert, Abed."
"Sorry."
Annie exchanged grins with Jeff, who was holding Sophie on his lap as she chuckled at some silly faces Buzz was making at her across the table. They had somehow piled in a bunch of chairs like they had at Thanksgiving over a year ago, and although the apartment was small, it was full of the people they loved.
Annie kissed Sebastian, who was wrapped to her chest, and then leaned over and whispered to Jeff, "I love you. Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas." He kissed her cheek.
"I still remember Sophie's first Christmas, and how we spent it with you and your family. I'm so happy that Sebastian can have his with all our people here too."
Sophie turned and looked up at Annie. "Mama, I wanna call you Mommy, okay?"
Annie startled and exchanged confused looks with Jeff before she asked, "You want to call me mommy?"
Sophie nodded and explained, "All the kids at school say mommy, and they said I'm a baby if I call you mama. Sebastian's a baby, but I'm not. He can call you mama and I can say mommy." She smiled triumphantly and awaited a reaction.
Something in Annie's heart almost broke, but she couldn't explain why. Her daughter wanted to call her something else, not sever all contact with her. Why even Britta who was estranged from her parents could come back home. She could come back home to her own mother, even if she had once sworn that she wouldn't ever want to see her again.
Little Sophie, her first baby, wasn't leaving her. She was trying to be more grown-up.
Choking down a sudden sob, Annie said, "Of course you can call me mommy, sweetie. You can call me whatever you want."
"Oh, yay! I love you Mommy!" Sophie clapped her hands.
She smiled tightly and then quickly turned away, catching Dorie's eye from across the table. Dorie smiled sadly at her but gave her an encouraging nod as if to say she had been there too.
Jeff patted her back and then asked, "Hey, do I get to be called something else too?"
"No, Daddy. You're still Daddy. And I'm still munchkin Sophie. Do you understand?"
"Yeah, munchkin, I do."
X
X
After dinner, Annie and Jeff were ushered back to their apartment as Dorie and several of the other guests helped the Dean clean up. They had to admit that it was nice to just be home again, even if it was only for a little bit before they went back to open presents. Sophie remained at the Dean's to play with Sam and Braden, but Troy and Abed followed them over without invitation.
They didn't really mind actually, as Troy readily took Sebastian and sat in a chair, propping the baby into the crook of his elbow as he flipped on the television.
"Nothing too loud, Troy."
"Yeah, I know. I just wanna check the football scores."
Jeff sighed and plopped down on the couch and leaned over to wrap his arm around Annie, who was now sprawled out and yawning. He played with her hair and mused, "You okay with the whole mommy thing?"
"Yes, but it still hurts."
"I get it."
"I don't' think you do. She always calls you daddy."
"And one day I'll be dad."
"And I'll be mom. Why do I have to be something else before then? She's my baby."
He kissed her forehead and continued to caress her hair. Abed sat in another chair and affected a bored stare as he watched the sports news.
"You know, Sophie loves you Annie. You're a great mom."
Annie lifted her head and smiled at Abed's profile. His eyes were still on the television. She said, "Thank you."
"She just wants to fit in. But you are a good mom, and I'd love it if you were my mom. I told Sophie and she told me to back off."
"Awww, Abed. I love you."
"So I promised her you can't be my mom, which I already knew so I apologized to her if I misled her. I think we're okay now. I gave her a cookie and she seemed pleased."
"I'm really glad you look out for the munchkin, buddy."
Abed prattled on, "I used to think Britta was going to be my mom, since obviously Jeff's my dad, but she's not even here with us on Christmas, a holiday which of course I don't' really celebrate but it makes for a good group episode. Thank god Pierce isn't here."
There was an odd yet comforting silence, as they all stared at the television, most of them not really encoding it. Annie knew Jeff didn't really care about sports other than soccer.
There was a soft knock and then Ian came in, leaning over to whisper to Jeff, "I have to go."
Jeff turned and said, "Not okay. I promised my mom I'd look out for you. You're staying tonight."
"Something went wrong at Britta's parents' house."
Annie abruptly sat up and turned to see Ian looking half-crazed, his eyes wide and his hair askew. If she didn't know better, she might suspect he was drunk, but there had been no alcohol at the Dean's. No, she thought, it was likely manic intensity, an aura of purpose.
Seeming to sense her thoughts, he said, "Yes, I have a mission. I must help Britta."
She sniffed, once again realizing tears were flooding her eyes. "Of course you do. Please let us know how she is."
He nodded, "Righty."
With that, he swiftly turned and left.
Annie squeezed Jeff's hand.
X
X
After once again gathering at the Dean's, they began the gift exchange, with the understanding that it was mostly for the kids and Troy and Abed, the adults mostly chatting and awwing over the various items the kids opened.
Buzz was sadly absent, but Santa made an appearance to hand out some Christmas games and candy.
Sophie cheerily tore into gifts from her grandma and Buzz, rebuffing Annie's attempts at helping her carefully remove the paper along the tape lines. She shrieked in delight as she accepted some new books, a board game, and a few hair bows.
Sam and Braden enjoyed their presents as well, also receiving books but some balls that the Dean kinda freaked out about being in his living room before begrudgingly giving in, and some comic book t-shirts.
Troy and Abed enjoyed the DVDs they had given to each other as well as hot cocoa packets and a huge slab of cheddar.
"Aw, man, I didn't know you got one for me."
"That's because I hid it safely in my armpit."
Ruffles liked her new squeaky toy, which Jeff was already plotting how to 'break.'
And then it came time for Sebastian, and he received several little outfits. They had already gotten most of his baby items at the shower anyways, so Annie wasn't really expecting much from anyone other than reveling in the time with her loved ones.
It was then that Jeff cleared his throat and said, "Sophie has something for the squirt."
She grinned and said, "Awww, what is it?"
He exchanged conspiratorial looks with Sophie and then motioned at her. She ran toward the dining table and then came back with a messily wrapped box.
"I wrapped it, Sebastian. This is from me and Daddy. But mostly from Daddy since he told me we were going to get it for you. But I got to pick it out, so I picked this one. So it's mostly from ME."
Annie giggled as she lifted Sebastian just a little bit in her arms and with a nonverbal exchange with Jeff, handed him over so she could accept the present. She waited a moment to consider her options but then just tore the thing open.
"Yay, Mommy!"
That was still going to have to be something she needed to get used to.
She finished removing the paper, tossing it aside with gusto, which felt oddly exhilarating yet a bit irresponsible. She wasn't sure if she'd be able to reuse it. She then regarded the box and lifted the lid to reveal a brown stuffed bear.
"Awwww! He has his very own bear! Sebastian, did you see this? It's from Sophie."
Sophie inched closer and placed her head on Annie's lap as she stared lovingly at Sebastian. The baby blinked from Jeff's arms and regarded the bear with what most would assume was a neutral expression.
But Annie knew differently. He loved his bear.