Warning for implied abuse, self-loathing, very bad parenting. I refuse to confirm the exact events.
Chapter Twenty-Three: Gaps in the Air
"Have you ever loved someone?"
Kurosugi slammed the door to the apartment. He slumped against the door. He tried to breathe. He failed. He tried to laugh. He cried. And Kuga Kurosugi was not someone prone to tears. He was someone who sulked, who threw things, who attacked others. There was no one to attack. His memories did it to him instead. Then again, it wasn't even his memories. It was just his twisted, worthlessly fucked up imagination.
"It was inevitable," he heard his father, ever so calm, smiling when he never smiled. "Your brother's less organic. Digimon do not know how to deal with such things. He needed help. I got it for him. Of course, it didn't end well, but then, it was never meant to. You understand, Kurosugi."
He does. Not in the 'this is acceptable' kind of understanding, but in the 'this is who I live with, this is what I live in' way that causes so much pain no matter where he goes. Because that's the way you survive in this awful world that doesn't care about anyone.
Kurosugi, much as he believed in that philosophy for himself, couldn't stand it in his older brother, who spent most of his life cleaning up after mistakes that weren't even his to begin with. He was just a glorified lapdog who could have maybe run most of the company by himself. Theoretically. He'd need finance and stuff but whatever. And that was how his father repaid him. That was how he repaid anyone. Death, humiliation, suffering, abuse. He shouldn't have been like that. He was supposed to be someone else, someone better.
Kurosugi ignored Tyrone, racking his brain. When had it started? When? When the smiles became a little more forced? When he started climbing cabinets and ladders and not keeping an eye on himself? When he wouldn't let people grab his wrists? When? When he started studying from home and skipped school on regular days?
Or was it… was it that last day? That last time when his brother had crawled in next to him and just held him real tight. That night when they were seven and five and Yuuya had thought he was sleeping and he had cried into the other pillow. Had cried and whispered. "Never you" with such venom for a little boy and yet Kuro had never doubted for a second that it was meant for him, meant to be about him and that alone was the most awful, painful thing because that wasn't when it started was it?
That was when it had stopped.
Frustrated tears rolled down his face and into his expensive pants and he stopped caring. His image was gone. There was no one here to see it, except to Tyrone, and he was going ignored.
Two arms pulled him close. He was too shocked to force the quaver out of his voice. "You're not supposed to use that key," he said.
Eri smiled, such a pretty, sad look. "I was asked to see to you."
Her eyes gave away nothing. Her eyes said nothing he couldn't decipher, and he didn't need to.
"You knew." Kurosugi stated. "You've known for years."
She nodded.
He gestured wildly with his arms. "You could have done something!"
"And left him to fend for himself?" Eri laughed sadly. "Birds of a feather flock together, Kurosugi-kun."
He didn't know how to respond to that, and she pulled away, embarrassed. He looked away, even as she set steaming tea in front of him.
"Why does he want to kill aniki?" he finally asked. "He's gone. He got kidnapped and shit. The hell will he tell them? Business secrets? That he's not human?"
Eri sat in his brother's chair and he wanted to stomp his foot at her. She was quiet for a few minutes. "He's a loose end. He needs to be unraveled, even if the rest of us pay for it.
Kuro tried to nod, to acknowledge this. He picked up Tyrone. "I think I'm going to kill him," he finally said. "Dad, I mean."
Eri smiled as if she believed him. But she didn't and that was fine. No one ever believed in him. He was still going to do it. And then none of this would happen again.
He just had to figure out how.
…
"Have you ever loved someone?"
Taiga watched Nikolai in a meek sort of fear. He knew Nikolai would calm down. He always did. Or he'd run out of steam. He was a bit too busy being afraid and hurt himself. Sure, she was Niko's girlfriend, but Rina was his friend too. And she was always like this, always somewhere far away from here in her mind, never communicating and always smiling. It was always this distant-
So it would be easier to leave.
But it couldn't be like that. She couldn't have made friends with them to just leave. No, she had to have left for another reason. He looked at the blurry photograph again. Squinting, Taiga couldn't help but feel a strange kind of nausea. The small blue part of the image was not a natural blue. It was artificial. It was not human. It was… probably a Digimon. Niko's Digimon. Niko's Sashenka.
"What the hell is she on, man?!"
Niko interrupts his thoughts and he's kind of grateful for that. He has to think about this instead or he'll lose his mind again. "I..." Taiga shook his head. "I think she wants something from you that you can't do?" He had nothing against Niko's dad, except he wished the old man would show up every once in a while and feed and talk to his kid. But at least Nikolai had a dad who worked to keep him in a house. Well, had.
"Like what?" Taiga winced and Nikolai looked away. "Sorry."
"Mm." Forgive and forget. Just safer, just saner. "Think better of your old man I guess."
Nikolai grunted. "Yeah right. Like that's gonna happen."
"Well, what if he was kidnapped?"
Niko squinted, sitting back in the chair. "He was still gone for two damn days, Taiga, and no one noticed! Dads don't do that."
"I wouldn't know," Taiga shot back. There was a tick developing in his eye and he went to the computer, where the screen Rina had typed in was still visible. HE couldn't even bring himself to feel guilty. "But I do know one thing. Rina's cagey and emotionally unavailable a lot, but when she says stuff like finding him, like him being related to big stuff, she's usually right. So we need to find him. Even if all that happens is you dropkick him in the nads."
Niko's face twisted again. "How come you listen to her?"
Taiga hesitated, trying to remember everything Rina had said before she had disappeared, typing as quickly as possible. "Sometimes she's smarter than us and the teachers combined," he replied, pressing the enter key. "And sometimes she's dumb as a brick. With this stuff," The screen began to glow. "She's usually right."
There was a very rough tug at their navels and then, Taiga scrambling for their bags, they were gone.