Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story.
Warning: "Life in the Balance" is the story of Bella facing the consequences of the way she chose to end the vicious cycle of an abusive relationship. The telling of such a story requires the retelling of the events that led to her choice, many of which contains acts of domestic violence and abuse in all its incarnations. If you are uncomfortable with reading these types of depictions, please do not read the flashbacks as they will tell her story as it happened.
A huge thank you to CherylSab and AgoodWITCH because, without them, I'd be a neurotic mess. I love you both so much.
Chapter 26 – The Aftermath
Alice
February 24, 2010
"Now there's a sight for sore eyes."
A very familiar voice caught my attention as I walked the through the doors of the courthouse. A smile crossed my face as I put my purse on the conveyor belt.
"Hey Peter, long time no see."
"You're telling me. I haven't seen you or Carlisle around here in months. What's going on with you?"
"We're working on the Swan case." I walked through the metal detector, meeting him on the other side. "And let me just say that complicated would be a vast understatement when describing the shit storm we walked into."
"How hard could it be? The girl basically confessed to killing that guy, didn't she?" He shrugged. "I mean, I know you want to win, but what was Carlisle thinking when he took that case?"
My eyes narrowed. "This isn't a normal domestic violence case, Peter. It's so much more difficult than that. We've been working on this case day and night for six months and there are still things we don't know." I sighed. "We're getting closer, though, and we'll be ready by the time the trial starts."
"How much longer?" Peter asked.
"Just over two weeks," I answered. "Opening statements are March fifteenth."
"Well, good luck, Alice." He smirked and winked at me. "It'll be nice seeing you walk through my doors every day."
"I can't wait to be back too, Peter." With a smile and a wave, I left Peter behind and made my way toward Judge Banner's office.
My phone rang as I made it to the end of the hallway. I pushed the button for the elevator as I pulled my phone from my purse. Looking at the screen, my brow furrowed. Jasper never called me so early. I pushed the button to answer just as the elevator doors slid open.
"Hey Jazz, I'm just getting on the elevator so I might…"
The reception in this building wasn't the best and the call cut out as soon as the doors closed. Putting the phone back in my purse, I pushed the button for the third floor. A few seconds later, the doors opened and I walked a few doors down to the judge's office.
My phone rang again as I stepped through the door so I silenced it quickly. I'd have to talk to Jasper later.
"Alice!" The brunette behind the desk jumped up and came to give me a hug. "Where have you been? I've missed you around here."
"Hey Bree," I said, pulling out of her embrace. "Peter just said the same thing. Have I really been gone that long?"
"It seems like forever since I've seen you," she answered. "So what brings you to my little corner of the world?"
"Carlisle sent me to pick up some paperwork from the Judge," I told her. "Is he in?"
"He's running a bit late, but he should be here in about five minutes." She motioned to the chair for me to sit as she took her seat behind the desk. "So tell me what's been going on with you. Why haven't we seen you around?"
I blew out a frustrated breath. "This case has been running me ragged. In fact, I've been on the road for a while doing some research. I picked up some good information so it was worth it, but I'm just thankful to be back."
"Back with Jasper," she teased.
I couldn't hide my grin when she brought up Jasper. Bree was one of Jasper's old friends from college. They didn't see each other much anymore but they kept in touch as often as they could. We met about five months after Jasper and I started dating and became good friends. Over the years, she'd been my biggest cheerleader, always telling me how much he cared about me and wanted to marry me. That fact alone made me want to tell her that he was finally going to pop the question, but I couldn't risk Jasper finding out that I knew. So I kept my mouth shut.
"Of course. You have no idea how hard it was…"
My ringing phone cut off my sentence.
"Speak of the devil." Bree giggled.
"Shut up." I waved a hand at her and pulled my phone from my purse. "Hey Jazz, Bree and I were just…" I trailed off as Judge Banner walked through the door.
"Alice, you…"
"Sorry Jazz, I'm going to have to call you back."
"No Ali, wait."
A pang of guilt hit me as I heard his final words before ending the call. I wanted to talk to him but, at the moment, meeting with the judge was more important.
"Ms. Brandon," he said gruffly, "to what do I owe the pleasure."
Quickly, I jumped up from the chair. "Mr. Cullen sent me to pick up…"
"Oh right. Follow me." He led me to his office and opened the door for me to enter. "How is Carlisle doing these days?" he asked as he closed the door and removed his suit jacket.
"Working hard, as always," I answered.
"Odd that I haven't seen him in my courtroom for a while."
He was moving through his office while he spoke, checking mail, opening and closing drawers, pulling papers out as he went. When he finally sat behind his desk, he put on a pair of glasses and grabbed a pen.
"Now, as I've explained to Carlisle, this order is in effect for ten days." He finished signing, pulled his glasses off and glared at me. "There are no exceptions."
Judge Banner folded the papers and handed them to me. "Thank you, Sir. This will help immensely."
"Now, if you don't mind," he looked at his watch, "I must prepare for court."
Putting the papers in my purse, I thanked him again and hurried out of his office. Judge Banner was a surly man, always short with people no matter who they were. But he was a fair man and Carlisle was his friend so he was able to go to him in times of need. And this was definitely one of those times.
I said goodbye to Bree on the way out, promising to call her soon and left the office. I had to get the order filed and a copy sent to the prison before it was too late. After riding the elevator back down to the first floor, I went to the administration office. Luckily, at nine in the morning, there wasn't much of a wait. After ten minutes, I stepped up to the desk and handed the clerk the signed document and waited while she typed the information into the system.
The clerk had just finished and I was leaving the building when my phone rang again. Seeing Jasper's face on the screen made me smile and I hit the button quickly to answer.
"Hey Jazz, what…?"
"Alice," he yelled, cutting me off.
In all the years I'd known him, Jasper had never raised his voice to me. Something was wrong. I froze in the middle of the sidewalk, halfway to my car.
"Jazz?"
"Alice," he yelled again, "where is Carlisle?"
"I…I…" I couldn't get the words out, a little shaken with the way he was shouting at me.
"Where!"
"I don't know!" I screamed back.
"Aren't you with him?"
He wasn't yelling anymore but his voice was still a loud growl.
"No, I came straight to the courthouse today."
"Find him, Alice," he ordered. "You have to find him."
"Jazz, what's wrong? You're scaring me."
Tears were rolling down my cheeks as a million scenarios played out in my head. I had always worried about him when he left in the morning. Working in a prison, anything could happen and I always feared the worst.
Jasper had always tried to make me feel better by saying that his job wasn't dangerous because he worked in a women's prison and, statistically, there were considerably less inmate-to-guard injuries and it was extremely rare for an inmate to kill a guard.
Leave it to Jasper to quote statistics when it came to alleviating my worries, but that was who was – a walking encyclopedia of facts the rest of the world could care less about. Only this time, there was no statistic in the world that could make me stop worrying when he sounded so panicked, because Jasper never panicked. He was always the calm one.
Until now.
"It's Bella." My heart dropped. "She's hurt really bad. They rushed her to the hospital an hour ago and I can't get Carlisle on the phone. I've called his cell, the house and the office and I can't get him anywhere. Paul's not answering and I've been trying to call you all morning. You have to find him, Alice." He barely stopped to take a breath. "Find him and get him to the hospital."
"Where is she?" I cried and ran to my car.
"I don't know. I don't know which hospital they took her to. Check the two closest to here and you'll find her. They'll have guards stationed at her door and Carlisle will be the only one to get in." If I didn't know better, I would swear Jasper was crying. "You have to hurry, Ali. Please, you have to hurry."
I'd heard Jasper cry once in our seven years together and I had to know what caused it now.
"What happened, Jazz?"
"It was my fault. I wasn't watching when she came in. Couldn't get to her fast enough." His voice sounded so sad and broken. "Eight girls. There was blood everywhere, Ali. I couldn't help her. I told her I would be there for her, but I couldn't help her."
The sound of him breaking down made me cry. "It's not your fault, Jazz. You always do what you can. Bella won't blame you."
"But I didn't help her."
"Jasper Whitlock!" I yelled into the phone, unwilling to let him take the blame for what happened. "You are not to blame for this."
"Ali…"
"No!" I forcefully cut off his words. "I know you, Jasper. It's not like you stood there and watched. I know you tried to get to her. I know you tried to stop it. You can't blame yourself for being too late. Things happen, especially in there, and there's nothing you can do about it." I heard his breathing slow to a semi-normal pace.
"She was in so much pain she couldn't even open her eyes at the end, Ali," he choked out. "But she knew me, though. She recognized my voice. That should be a good thing, right?"
"Yes, Jazz, it's a very good thing," I assured him. "She'll remember you were there for her in the end."
"Please, Ali," he pleaded, "find Carlisle. He has to get to her. He has to make sure she's alright."
"I'll find him, Jazz," I promised. "She will be okay. She has to be."
Promising to call him when I had news, I told him I loved him and ended the call. I pulled out of my parking space a little recklessly and sped out of the parking lot to find Carlisle.
The house was closer and ten minutes later, I was pounding on his front door. When he didn't answer, I used my key and rushed into the house screaming his name. Every room on every floor was empty so I ran back to my car and headed toward the office.
We both had errands to run this morning so he shouldn't have been here but when I saw his car in the small lot, I breathed a sigh of relief. I pulled in sideways, not bothering with a parking space, killed the engine and jumped out of the car. I nearly broke my shoulder when I ran into the locked office door.
"Damn it," I growled as I pulled out my key.
He was here. There was no reason for the door to be locked. The lock clicked and I threw open the door and hurried to his office. What I saw made me want to kill him.
"You son of a bitch!" I screamed and ran, pushing his sleeping body, jolting him awake.
"Alice?"
"You're fucking drinking! Again!"
"No, I…"
"She could be dead and you'd never know 'cause you can't stop drinking this shit!" I threw the half empty vodka bottle, shattering it against the wall. "That's it! I've had enough. I can't do this with you anymore!" I turned and ran from his office.
Carlisle was on me before I could pull the door open, fingers around my arm, jerking me to a stop.
"Alice, what wrong? Who's-"
My slap silenced him. "You said you care about her. You're supposed to be there for her! How can you let her down like this?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Bella!" I yanked my arm away from him. "She's lying in some hospital somewhere all alone because you can't stop drinking long enough to pick up the fucking phone!"
"She's what!" he yelled and grabbed both of my arms roughly. "How could you not fucking tell me, Alice? Where the fuck is she?" His grip tightened as he shook me.
"Get the fuck off me!" I struggled against him.
"Where is she?" he yelled again as he released his hold.
"Don't ever touch me like that again!" I slapped him harder than before. "Jasper will kill you when he finds out."
His face changed, looking horrified. "God, Alice I'm sorry."
Before I could take a breath, Carlisle drew me to his chest, pinning my arms to my side.
"Forgive me, Alice, please. You know I would never…"
He trailed off and I heard the regret in his voice, but I was pissed. He promised me he wasn't drinking anymore, not like he used to. Yet, here he was passed out on his desk when Bella needed him the most.
Releasing me and taking a step back, he grabbed my hand gently. "Tell me what happened, Alice. Please, tell me where she is. If she's okay?"
I yanked my hand away. "I'll be waiting in the car."
~oOo~
The closest hospital to the prison was still an hour drive from our office. The last information Jasper could give me was that Bella was in surgery and he was only able to get that information by eavesdropping on a conversation between the warden and the prison doctor.
Carlisle spent the first thirty-five minutes of the drive talking to and texting Bree, hoping to get Judge Banner to sign an emergency waiver so he would be allowed access to Bella for the duration of her stay in the hospital.
"Finally." The phone had barely started ringing before he answered it. "Is it done?" He let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you, Bree. You have no idea… I know… I know… And I'm sorry for that, but this was an emergency. I'll call him later and talk to him. You won't…"
Bree was obviously upset. I couldn't make out the words, but I could hear her yelling at him from where I was sitting. I glanced over to see Carlisle with a death grip on a handful of hair.
"I'll make it up to you, I promise." He listened for a minute. "I don't know. Think of something, anything and it'll be done. Thank you, Bree."
He hung up the phone and leaned forward with his head in his hands. The tension in the car was thick but I didn't dare speak. He was barely holding himself together as it was. I refused to take my anger out on him too. So, I drove, letting the silence fill the car.
Five minutes later, his quiet voice startled me.
"I wasn't drunk." Carlisle sat back, staring out the window. "I won't do that again. Not now. Not with Bella's life on the line."
Not ready to talk yet, I kept my focus on the road.
"I know what you saw and what you're thinking, but I didn't do it. I only had a half a glass last night when I got back to the office, just to calm my nerves a bit." He exhaled loudly. "You didn't see her face when I asked her about Masen. I could have physically pulled her heart from her chest and I don't think it would have hurt her as much as it did when I said his name. The entire drive back to the office, all I saw was the hurt and pain in her eyes."
He sat quietly for few minutes before continuing. "I didn't want to go home so I spent the night transcribing the recording of our meeting. I figured it would save you a bit of work. You just got back and I didn't want to dump it on you."
"That's my job, Carlisle," I said without thinking.
"Is it?" I glanced away from the road to see him turn toward me. "After what I just did to you, Alice, how could you want to be anywhere near me, let alone work for me?"
I'd been asking myself the same question since we left the office. I had played the whole confrontation over and over in my head and I'd contemplated quitting, severing all ties with him and finding another job. I knew plenty of firms that would hire me. But then I remembered the man he really was.
Carlisle was one of the best men I'd ever met in my life. He wasn't a violent man. Sure he got angry sometimes – what man didn't – but he would never hurt a woman. Now that he was working on this case and saw firsthand what that kind of abuse did to Bella, I knew he would rather cut his hands off before he touched a woman in anger. It wasn't in his nature.
He did what he did because he was worried and maybe a little scared. He had never come out and said the words but I could see it in his eyes, he loved Bella. To think she was hurt in any way was bad enough, but to be told she was in the hospital, possibly dead, he panicked. His only thought was to get to her and I had the answers he needed to find her.
His worry didn't excuse the way he grabbed me but I started to think about what Jasper would do if the situation were reversed. Even being the gentleman he was, I could imagine him reacting exactly as Carlisle did if someone were to tell him I'd been hurt. And it was that comparison that made up my mind.
"I won't say that I'm not hurt or disappointed in you right now, because I am." I felt the sting of tears in my eyes but blinked fast to hold them back. We couldn't afford an accident now. "I know how you feel about her, Carlisle, and I know your one and only thought at the time was to get to her, but that doesn't justify what you did."
"I'm so sorry, Alice. I never…"
I held up my hand to stop him. "I know you never meant to hurt me and I know you'll never ever let it happen again. You're too good for that." Keeping my eyes trained on the road rushing past us, I released a hand from the wheel and reached over and grabbed his hand. "You're not just my boss, Carlisle. You're one of the best friends I have and I know if anything ever happened to me, you would be just as passionate about getting to me and helping me as you are with Bella. It's for that reason alone that I can forgive you."
He actually kissed the back of my hand. "I know what I did was so horribly wrong and nothing I could do will ever make up for hurting you. The fact that you could ever consider forgiving me means the world to me, so thank you. From the bottom of my heart, Alice…thank you."
"Besides," I said, hoping to lighten the mood, "you wouldn't survive one day without me and you know it."
"You are my right hand," he admitted. I huffed. "And my left," he conceded grudgingly.
"And don't you forget it."
We laughed together for a few minutes, breaking the tension that had never existed between us before. When the silence returned to the car, Carlisle spoke.
"She has to be okay, Alice." He sounded so dejected. "I can't lose her. Not now. Not before we…"
His voice cracked, cutting him off mid-sentence. My heart ached for him. I was just about to respond when he continued.
"I know it's a long shot. Something so far out of the realm of possibility that I shouldn't even be considering it, but I can't stop myself from hoping that one day, when this is all over, she could see me as someone worthy of her affections." He was staring out the window again.
"You're more than worthy, Carlisle," I assured him. "She's protecting herself right now. She has to in order to survive in there. But once this is over, once she's finally free, she'd be a fool not to see how amazing you are and fall head over heels in love with you."
"She's already in love," he mumbled.
"You know that's over."
"You didn't see her face. She still loves him…deeply. I can't compete with that." Before I could respond, he unbuckled his seatbelt. "Let me out here," he said urgently as I pulled into the hospital's parking lot near the emergency entrance.
I slammed on the brakes, jerking the car to a stop. He turned to say something else to me but I waved a hand at him. "I'll find you. Just go."
"Thanks," was his final word as he slammed the car door shut and disappeared into the hospital.
~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~
Carlisle
"Isabella Swan, please."
The nurse behind the desk raised an eyebrow and I knew she could hear the desperation in my voice. I had to keep it together, keep things professional. No one here could ever know what Bella really meant to me.
Unable to get a handle on my nerves, I shifted from foot to foot, causing her to look warily at me before turning to her computer.
"Swan. Swan," she mumbled while she typed.
Her fingers stopped suddenly and her brow furrowed. She quickly looked from me to the computer.
"Umm…I'm sorry, Sir. It seems that Ms. Swan is a high security patient and no one is allowed to see her." Her eyes were sympathetic as they slid back to me.
I was ready for her answer. "I understand, but she's my client and the paperwork giving me permission to see her was sent here about thirty minutes ago."
"And your name?"
"Carlisle Cullen."
She started typing again and frowned. "I'm sorry, Mr. Cullen. There is no record in the system of…"
Both our heads snapped to my right as a paper was slammed to the counter in front of me.
"Bree called." She smiled. "She sent it to the front desk by mistake and they hadn't logged it in yet," Alice said, breathing a heavily. She must have run the entire way here.
The nurse took the paper and started typing the information into the system. I turned and hugged Alice tight.
"Told you so." She winked at me as she pulled back.
"Ms. Swan is still in surgery," the nurse said. "There is a waiting room around the corner. I'll inform the head nurse that you're here."
"Thank you." I grabbed Alice's hand and walked around the corner.
Forty minutes and three cups of bad coffee later, the doctor shuffled into the waiting room, pulling the cover from his head. Since Alice and I were the only two in the room, he knew who I was and addressed me directly.
"Mr. Cullen," I took his outstretched hand, "I'm Doctor Reyes. Please have a seat so we can talk."
The solemn look on his face worried me and I did as he requested. Alice took the chair next to me and grabbed my hand in support. She was the only one of us who hadn't met Bella yet but she cared about her and this was just as hard for her as it was for me and even Jasper.
After finding my phone dead, I had to use Alice's phone to check my messages, not only on my cell but at home and the office. There were fourteen messages from Jasper, each one more frantic than the one before it. He was worried for her and upset that he couldn't help her and when he couldn't get in touch with us, it got worse.
I felt horrible for not answering any of his calls but I hadn't gotten a decent night's sleep in weeks and the exhaustion completely overwhelmed me. I didn't hear the phone ring once. It was then that the guilt took over. It wasn't just Bella; I was letting every one of them down.
"We were able to stop the bleeding." The doctor's voice interrupted my thoughts.
"I'm sorry…what?" I asked, shaking my head.
Alice squeezed my hand as the doctor began his explanation again.
"Ms. Swan was brought in with a broken nose and wrist, several lacerations on her face, neck and chest, two broken ribs and a ruptured spleen."
I cringed as he listed her injuries. With James gone, I never expected her to suffer another beating like this. This incident alone proved how badly I had failed her. I didn't know what I was thinking. I couldn't protect her.
"As serious as the rupture could have been, it wasn't as bad as we had originally thought, just a slight tear, and we were able to stop the bleeding and repair it. She's going to be sore for a while but it will heal and she'll be fine." He took a heavy breath. "I am concerned, though."
I heard a whimper from Alice as my fingers clenched around hers. Regretting it instantly, I let go of her hand.
"I was studying Ms. Swan's x-rays and it appears she's had a number of broken bones over the years. Some, I could tell, were properly set but there were others that were left to set on their own."
I saw his skeptical look and jumped in to offer an explanation. "Ms. Swan lived in an abusive relationship for quite some time. During that time there were several instances when she wasn't taken to a hospital to receive treatment."
"I understand." He simply nodded and went on. "It actually explains some of my other concerns."
"Concerns?" I turned his final word into a question.
"There is evidence of several concussions and I'm worried." His eyes moved between me and Alice. "With all the head injuries she's suffered, I can't say with absolute certainty that she will fully recover from her current injuries."
The air felt like it had been sucked from the room and I suddenly couldn't breathe. My hand moved to my chest, rubbing at the tightness starting to build. My eyes fell to the floor and the doctor's words were lost as I thought about what this could mean for her.
Unable to sit still, I was out of my chair, pacing the room. I thought I heard Alice's voice but I was so lost in my own head that the sound meant nothing.
How was this any kind of justice? How could she have lived through and survived all she did with James only to lose her fight now? It's not fair. It's not fair.
"I know, honey. I know."
I didn't realize I had spoken until Alice's arms wrapped around me, comforting me. My arms automatically wound around her, my head lying on top of hers as I clenched my eyes shut, fighting against the tears.
"Mr. Cullen." The doctor cleared his throat.
Alice squeezed me once and let go, taking a stand just behind my right arm while she held my hand as I turned to face the doctor.
"I'm sorry. It's quite obvious how difficult this is for the two of you but with just the brief history you've given me and the severity of her injuries, I need to know that precautions will be taken once she returns to the correctional facility."
It bothered me to watch him cringe as he said the last two words. It was a stigma, as if only the worst of society ended up there. He had no idea who she was and what she lived through to end up there.
"To be blunt, Mr. Cullen," he continued, breaking me from my thoughts, "with the injuries she has sustained, a single blow to the head could be life threatening." His hands played with his hat nervously. "And another attack like today will most certainly kill her."
The tightness gripped my chest harder than before. I fell into the chair behind me, unable to hold myself up anymore. Bella couldn't die. I wouldn't let her…
Doctor Reyes continued talking; his words were a dull noise in my ears, barely keeping me from falling off the deep end. Pictures of Bella's lifeless body assaulted my mind. My head fell into my hands but before I completely fell over the edge, a loud voice pulled me back.
"Just tell me where the fuck she is!"
"Oh no," Alice said and ran from the room.
I followed her, turning into the hallway to see Paul shoving a security guard just as Alice ran up and forced herself between the two.
"I'm sorry Mr. Cullen," Dr. Reyes grabbed my arm to stop me, "but I have to get back."
His words took my attention away from the fight brewing down the hall. I knew Paul well enough to know he'd never endanger Alice, so I trusted her to handle the situation for a few minutes. The doctor released my arm and I turned to give him my full attention.
"When can I see her?" I asked, my voice strained.
"She'll be moved to recovery soon and then moved again to a permanent room in about an hour." He placed a hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry. I can see how much you care about her and I wish I had better news for you." He offered me his other hand and I took it. "The next twenty-four hours are critical and we'll know more in the morning. Try to keep your spirits up until then."
As if it was that easy. The woman who meant more to me than anyone in the world was lying in some hospital bed so badly beaten that her life was on the line. How could I keep my spirits up? The next twenty-four hours were going to kill me.
"Carlisle!" Paul's angry voice cut through my thoughts.
My head snapped in his direction and I saw a wild look in his eyes. It was disconcerting and I gave Alice a quick nod, silently asking her to take Paul into the waiting room.
Dr. Reyes turned to walk away but I stopped him. "Doctor. May I ask a favor?"
"Of course."
"I'm sorry for the trouble he's caused but Mr. Mendez," I waved a hand toward the door Alice and Paul just walked through, "is one of Ms. Swan's closest friends." I paused for a breath before continuing. "I know it probably goes against hospital protocol to allow anyone in the recovery room, but he's extremely worried and this will be the only time he'll be able to visit her. Can you please find it in your heart to let him in for just a moment so he could see her and tell her he's here with her?"
His brow furrowed and I saw the answer in his eyes. Before he could say no, I jumped in again.
"I know there's a guard waiting to cover her room once she's been moved and, believe me, I understand why he must be stationed there. But Mr. Mendez also a guard; he just wasn't assigned to this detail."
"Mr. Cullen, I don't…"
"Believe me I understand the severity of my request. And what I'm asking could get a lot of people in trouble. To be perfectly honest with you, Dr. Reyes, he really shouldn't be here, but he and Ms. Swan formed a very unlikely friendship and he could lose his job if it the truth of their relationship ever became known."
He didn't look like he was going to give in so I tried again, appealing to his heart as a doctor.
"I know it's helpful for patients to hear the voices of their family and friends while they're unconscious and I know it would help her tremendously to hear his voice. Just once." Staring at him intently, I held out hope that he would give in.
Under normal circumstances I would have never asked for such a thing. I lived my life by the law and asking someone to break even the smallest of rules went against everything I stood for. But, from the moment she'd opened up to me, I vowed to do anything to keep Bella safe and protected and happy, including breaking a few rules myself. I didn't like it but this time, however, it seemed necessary.
I hadn't known him long, but I had learned quickly that Paul always fought with passion for anything he believed worthy of the fight. And I had seen that passion magnified a hundred times over from the moment he and Bella became so close. He was fiercely protective of her and would take on anyone or anything that threatened her.
It was the intensity he always had when it came to her that had me worried now, because now it was gone. Fear, worry and panic had taken its place. It was in his eyes and it unnerved me. He needed to see Bella and I knew this was the only opportunity I could give him without jeopardizing everything he lived for.
"I can't believe I'm doing this," Doctor Reyes mumbled to himself as he scrubbed his hands over his face. With a heavy sigh, he said, "I'll give him two minutes. I cannot offer more than that."
With relief, I answered, "It's more than generous. Thank you, Doctor."
"Give me a few minutes to check on her and then I'll send the nurse for him."
He shook his head as he turned and rushed down the hall. I stormed into the waiting room. Paul was pacing the room, looking like a wild animal.
"What is wrong with you, Paul?" I growled as quietly as I could. "You shouldn't be here."
He didn't stop moving, didn't even look at me. "I was sleeping. Jasper left messages. Said she was hurt. Could be dead."
His voice shook as he spoke in clipped sentences. This was nothing close to the normal fire that usually filled his voice when he spoke about Bella. I looked to Alice who just shrugged and stayed out of his way.
"Paul?"
It was like he didn't hear me at all.
"She wanted to talk. I should have talked to her. This is my fault."
"Paul." Stepping in front of him, I grabbed his shoulders to stop him, shaking him a bit to get his attention. "None of this is your fault."
Staring at him, I'd never seen him look so desperate.
"She begged. All fucking night, she begged me but I was still pissed. She was crying so hard and I ignored her. She needed me and I wasn't there."
"Be there for her now, Paul." His eyes asked the question his mouth couldn't put words to. "A nurse will be here soon to take you to see her. You'll only have a few minutes, but you can talk to her. Apologize to her. Reassure her and let her know you're here for her now and nothing like this will ever happen again."
"She' won't even know I'm there."
"The two of you have a connection, Paul. She will hear you…just talk to her."
"Excuse me, Mr. Cullen." A quiet voice tore my attention from Paul. "I can take him in now."
"Thank you." Turning back to him, I said, "Go. Tell her what's in your heart, Paul. She'll hear you. I promise."
If you ask me, I think Bella took the selfish way out without thinking of how her actions would affect the people that care about her. Now they're all paying the price.
Now, I have to say thank you to whoever rec'd this story. I've gotten more favs and alerts in the past few weeks than I have since I started writing this one. I know it's a tough subject matter so please know it makes me immensely happy that you like it enough to join me on this journey.
And, for those of you who have been with me from the beginning, I love all each and every one of you too; you mean more to me than you will ever know. Thanks so much for reading and don't forget to let me know what you think. Until next time…much love to you – D