Rated M. This one gets intense real quick.

026. Childhood

Reclining in bed, exhausted and deliciously sated, Leo pressed his face into Karai's hair and inhaled deeply.

"Are you smelling me?" she muttered sarcastically, her head pillowed on his shoulder.

"Mm-hm," he rumbled, shamelessly content.

"What do I smell like?"

"Delicious."

"You are so corny."

"Speaking of delicious corn - "

"Oo, segue."

"Are you hungry? I should warn you though, the only thing I can make without burning the house down is peanut butter sandwiches."

"Seriously? You're like a little kid."

"Mikey always cooked."

Leo laughed softly.

"This one time, when we were little kids, Mikey had a bad cold…so I decided I was going to make him breakfast, because he always did it for us. I had so much trouble with the eggs I forgot about the toaster, which, I had somehow damaged, and it caught on fire."

"…How do you damage a toaster?"

Leo laughed again.

"That's exactly what Don said. I think I pushed the thing down too hard? I dunno. It got stuck, and started to smoke, but I thought it was the eggs at first, and then…poof. Flames."

Karai smirked, and shook her head, wrapping her arm around Leo's chest and cuddling in to him. Leo felt a surge of joy in his chest, and couldn't believe his luck, couldn't believe she was really here, naked body pressed up against him without fear or disgust or ulterior motive.

"What were you like?" Leo murmured lazily into her hair, "As a kid?"

Karai became strangely still in his arms.

"I bet you were cute," he smiled, dreamily, "I bet you were tough as nails, and didn't - "

"I don't want to talk about it," she said, coldly.

Leo's smile faded. Of course she wouldn't want to talk about growing up with the Shredder…not now that she was finally free. But then again…she had to deal with it some time. He knew that whatever she said, however much she acted like she didn't care, never missed him - it was still haunting her, even years later.

"It can't have been all bad," he prompted, tenderly.

Karai just lay there in stony silence.

"Okay, just tell me one thing. Anything. Something silly, like…what was your favorite TV show? Or, did you have a favorite toy growing up?…Did you have any pets?"

He waited a long time for her to respond, and with each passing second, he grew more worried, felt like she was drawing further and further away from him, until:

"A dog."

Leo blinked in surprise. "Really? Huh."

Karai said nothing further.

"I didn't think you were…dog people."

Again, Karai was silent.

"What kind of dog? What was his name? His? Her?"

"An Akita inu," Karai said, stiffly, "He. His name was Hachiko."

"Hachiko," Leo repeated, with a smile, "Cute."

He placed a gentle peck on her head, and decided to leave it there, not push. They lay in silence together for a moment, but then, in the soft darkness, Karai began quietly to speak.

"So…I guess I was about six or seven. And…I wanted a dog. I saw normal families on television, and I knew that's not what we were…but I thought even if I couldn't go to school like a normal kid, or have a Mom, or brothers and sisters to play with…at least if I had a dog, I'd have someone to - "

She cut herself off abruptly. Leo waited patiently, didn't finished the sentence for her - the "L" word was a four-letter word to Karai. He wouldn't made that mistake twice.

"Whatever. I was a kid and I wanted a dog. So I planned and plotted, and stayed on my best behavior. And finally, one day, I worked up my nerve and asked him."

She fell silent again, for a long time. Leo began to wonder if that was the end of the story.

"What did he say?"

"Nothing. Then, the next day, he showed up and handed me a plastic bag with a goldfish inside it."

Leo smirked.

"I was pretty pissed," Karai admitted, "I didn't want a damn goldfish. I didn't even bother naming it, but…I didn't want to just let it die, so. I figured maybe it was a test or something, y'know, see if I could be responsible, and take care of a pet. So I went into the kitchen and I found a big glass vase…and I put it in that. He didn't buy a bowl, or food or anything. So I just crushed up some saltines and fed it that."

Again she drifted off into silence. This time, Leo just waited, knowing that she'd speak when she was ready.

"About a week later," she continued, "Father called me into the kitchen. When I got there, the vase was empty. But he had the blender out. And the fish was in there."

Leo's eyes widened in the dark.

"He looked at me, and told me to hit 'Puree.' I asked him why, and he hit me. Hard. I told him I didn't want to, and he hit me even harder. I was angry. And I didn't want him to…win. So…I did it. I felt bad, at first, but…it was just a fish. I mean - it's not like I'd never eaten sushi before, right?"

Leo didn't reply…didn't know what to say.

"When it was done, he kind of…petted my hair, which he'd never really done before…and told me he was proud of me. He told me the lesson was obedience - that when he gave me an order, I was expected to follow it, even if it was unpleasant."

She paused.

"And then…he told me to wait there. And when he came back - he was holding a kitten. Like a reward."

Leo's heart dropped down into his stomach. He had a feeling he knew where this was going, and he didn't want to know, wanted to tell her that it was okay, that she didn't need to finish the story, but it seemed that now that she had started, Karai didn't know how to stop.

"It still wasn't a dog…but I thought maybe Father just doesn't like dogs. I didn't name it at first, but after a week came and went without incident, I thought it might be safe. So I named him Kutsushita…'Socks.' Because it was black and white, you know, with the…paws. He slept with me at night, and I finally had someone to play with for a while…it was…nice."

Leo waited for the inevitable, bracing himself.

"Then, one day…I guess it was about…a year later, maybe. Father called me into the kitchen. And he was holding Kutsu."

"Don't," Leo whispered, "It's okay, you don't have to -

"And he put him in the microwave."

"Stop," Leo blurted, involuntarily.

"I begged him, even though I knew it wouldn't do any good. He didn't hit me this time. He didn't even tell me what to do, just stood there with his arms folded. I even attacked him at one point…started punching and hitting him, but…I was just a kid, so. He just stood there and took it, and waited."

Leo closed his eyes in mute horror, unconsciously pulling her even closer to him.

"So," Karai finally said, "When it was…after. He hugged me. Told me he was very proud. He said this time, the lesson wasn't about obedience - it was about weakness. He said that love…always makes you weak. Because no matter what, everything you love will always get taken from you, eventually."

Leo lay there staring at the ceiling in silent disbelief.

"I didn't get it then," Karai said, quietly, "I didn't get it until much later, but…he was talking about my mother. And me, I think…he was trying to explain - why he was always so hard on me, why he always kept me at arms' length…I think?…I think maybe he was…trying to apologize."

She sighed.

"So the next day we got Hachiko. Father named him. Said I had earned him, with my loyalty. But…I never loved him."

Her fingers traced the grooves of Leo's plastron idly.

"I guess I learned my lesson," she added, as an afterthought.

Leo felt…empty. Completely gutted.

In a sudden, fluid motion, he positioned himself on top of her, his arms flexing as he held himself up, so he wouldn't crush her. She looked up at him in surprise, and he gazed back into her hazel eyes, wide and startled, so like his father's, yet somehow completely different…

Tenderly, he lifted a hand and stroked her hair, traced his fingers down her cheek. He lowered his head and softly kissed her forehead, gently nuzzled her nose with his…placed a soft kiss on her lips. He felt her writhe under him, trying to open her mouth and turn it into sex, into something she understood, but he pulled back gently as she did, and continued his tender, loving onslaught, kissing her jaw softly, then her neck, sliding his hand to her waist and snaking it underneath her. Laying back on his side, he drew her close in his arms, twining their legs together, and began rubbing soft circles on her back. She went somewhat stiff in his arms as she realized this was not what she thought it was going to be, but he just waited patiently, arms folded around her.

"I'm sorry," he whispered in her ear, and replaced his words with a soft kiss, "I'm sorry."

She didn't make a sound, but he felt the exact moment her defenses dropped, felt the way she sagged into his hold. He squeezed her tight, and in that moment, he loved her with all his might, and it felt so tangible, so real to him, he could almost picture it, like a pool of energy, flowing from his body into hers, filling up all the cracks and the dark, empty spaces, and this time when their lips met, there was something almost holy in it.

Unable to bear anymore, Karai broke away, and buried her face under his chin. Leo closed his eyes, and calmly focused on his breathing, until hers slowed, synced, and matched his.

"I think," she finally whispered, her voice sounding small, "I'd really like that sandwich now."

Leo pressed his lips to her hair, and let them linger there firmly, before finally releasing his grip so she could slink out of it.

"Stay," he murmured gently, "I'll bring it."

He didn't even bother making them…just brought the bag of bread, the jar, and a knife, and they sat together in bed and made peanut butter sandwiches together, watching late-night sitcom reruns and not talking.