(An: Well, the reason that this took so abysmally long is because I was writing ahead. Yes, medears, you'll once again be getting daily updates. I meant to add this on SB's birthday, but I was out of town at the time. You might notice there's a chapter missing; that's because I cut "The Fight". Chapters like "John's Rant" and "Save Me" have been duly altered. It just really started to bug me, and this story does too much of that. Originally, I was going to have a whole bunch of filler chapters, but I realized that was what my problem was originally and just skipped to the section where stuff happens. So… um… this means… no Rahm. -sweatdrop- Go read "Stupid People" if you're that desperate.)
Kurt's Birthday (Pants)
Remy was woken at six AM by a loud singer. It had been a few weeks since Piotr and Kitty had started dating, and he had gotten used to being disturbed at earlier times than was normal, since Piotr had gotten his inspiration back and thus was doing something arty at all times of the day. So Remy had learned to drown him out.
However, what woke him up that morning was about ten times as loud as Piotr.
"My ears…" Remy mumbled. He groaned and shoved his head under his pillow. Nothing doing. Remy considered sobbing over lost sleep but settled for asking, "What on earth is that noise?"
Piotr's response was a happy noise.
"Damn you and your euphoria," Remy muttered. It was obvious that whatever it was wasn't going to shut up on its own. From the noise, Remy figured it was probably a large bird. Remembering belatedly to pull on a pair of jeans, Remy poked his head outside. Beyond the sanctity of his room, it sounded like it was coming from the floor below them. Remy yawned, glad that no one else was awake at this ungodly hour. On a Saturday, no less. Whatever was making the racket was going to pay.
Remy stumbled down the steps, following the sound to… the showers? He peered inside the male room, wondering if he could recruit any females to shut up the offender if it were coming from the other door. But no, as soon as he stepped inside, the noise solidified into… "WE ALL LIVE IN A YELLOW SUBMARINE!" (1)
"…Kurt?" Remy asked, looking around. The singing stopped, and Remy looked around, trying to spot his fuzzy friend.
"Morning, Remy!" Kurt was, of course, behind him, causing Remy to almost jump out of his skin. Kurt was soaked, wearing only a towel, and grinning like a maniac. Well, actually, like himself, but same difference. (2)
Remy shook his head. "Kurt, did you have a mic in the showers or something?"
Kurt blinked. "…No?"
"Well, then, why were you so damn loud?" Remy tried to make the statement sound pissed and standoffish, but it was hard, since Kurt looked absolutely pathetic dripping wet. Like a big blue puppy or the proverbial drowned rat. So he settled for amused but slightly annoyed.
Kurt's grin widened (which seemed like it should have been a physical impossibility). "Because it's my BIRTHDAY!" On birthday, Kurt grabbed Remy in a bear hug so tight it seemed, again, like a physical impossibility.
"…Oh. Happy birthday, mon ami," said Remy, gingerly peeling his friend off. "Do me a favor… If you're going to hug me, put some pants on first, huh?"
"Ok!" Kurt beamed at him, and Remy pinched the bridge of his nose as his friend disappeared into the showers proper once again.
Well, I may at least use the extra awake time to buy him a birthday present… something slightly vindictive, of course… a dog brush, perhaps?
O-o-O-o-O
After getting on a shirt, Remy ventured downstairs in the hopes that someone else had made the coffee. He found Kitty in the kitchen and approached warily. There was a pot of coffee ready-made, but she was icing a cake, so Remy figured he was safe. Still… "You didn't make this, right?" he asked, pouring himself a cup.
Kitty looked disgusted. "Like, no way! I don't drink coffee. Stunts the growth, you know? I know I'm way beyond growing, but I don't wanna take any chances. Besides, tea's better for you."
The nice thing about Kitty was that she didn't believe in silence. Remy tuned out her babble, taking a sip of the precious liquid. Once he was feeling like himself again, he asked, "So today's Kurt's birthday?"
"Yeah, isn't it awesome? He's turning eighteen! He's, like, legal now!" Kitty paused, then said, "That sounded bad, didn't it?" Remy just stared at her. "What I meant was that now Kurt can, like, vote and stuff! You know, every mutant that can vote makes all this stuff fairer and crap… I should just stop talking." (3)
"You take all the fun out of teasing," Remy replied.
Kitty sighed in disgust and went on writing whatever it was on the cake.
"Oh, one last thing-"
Kitty growled, squeezing the tube and accidentally ruining a blue rose. "No, I didn't make the cake. It's safe. Kurt told me that could be my birthday present to him… jerk."
"What about the-"
"No. Not the icing, either."
"Oh. Good."
"Get out before I castrate you with a spoon. I don't want to have to wash it."
"Why a spoon?"
"Because it's dull! It'll hurt more!" Kitty shrieked.
Remy decided he'd probably pushed her far more than was safe and quickly left.
O-o-O-o-O
Remy wandered around the mall, pondering that age-old (or maybe not) question: What do you get the blue, fuzzy, drowned rat who has everything? Cologne? It'd cover up that wet fur smell… but with Kurt, it might end up being worse… Coffee? …No, definitely not. Cards? …We are not shopping for ourselves, genius.
Meandering from store to store, Remy saw nothing that he figured his fuzzy friend would like. Kurt was a strange case. His taste in music (as shown) tended toward Beatles, and Remy knew he already owned all of the albums. His taste in clothes… was non-existant. Kurt had all the clothes he wanted, and he usually wore his uniform anyway. Food… well, there was always that, but that felt a little half-assed. Kurt had been one of the first to welcome the former Acolytes to the mansion, and Remy wanted to show that it had meant something to him, dammit!
Remy frowned, looking around himself. He broke into a broad grin as he spotted something that would do just that.
(Neh. It's something, anyway. FFN is not letting me post in my normal format, so I had to put this up with Notepad. When FFN stops being such a jerk, I will repost it with the HTML. Hopefully, you'll be able to figure out thoughts and what-not. Next time: Curly Fries!)
(1) Yes. That was a reference. Clever readers.
(2) That minute pause you heard was all of the fangirls (myself included) picturing that.
(3) Kurt is seventeen, according to Beyond Evolution. Assuming that's his age at the end of the series… w/e. It's not like anyone's keeping track.