Hi there, girls.
Yeah, I suck, I know. A month since the last update! Oh, man. So sorry for the delay, just know that I'm finishing the next chapter and will be sending it to my beta this weekend *crossing fingers*
Many thanks to my beta Songster for her help in this and the million words I send her way.
I don't own Twilight. We know.
Now let's see if this was worth the wait…
O~o~O~LB~O~o~O
´Beginnings'
"What do you think of these?" I turn and show Edward my earrings.
He's standing in front of the mirror, attempting to fix his crooked tie. He looks so frustrated and adorable, narrowing his eyes to it, like the tie is doing that on purpose. It makes me smile to see his cute mannerisms again and to simply have him here with me.
Today, he's wearing a tuxedo for the wedding, and even though I've seen him wearing one before, the sight of his broad shoulders and strong arms under that perfectly fitted suit still makes me sigh and want to reach out to him.
How could wearing a tuxedo be so damn sexy?
It doesn't help that with Edward everything looks sexy… and not just to me.
I shake my head remembering last night's rehearsal dinner with my family and how much everyone fell in love with him.
After all the introductions were made, a million questions came from aunts and cousins about my life in Paris and how Edward and I met. It was fun and the more I talked about it, the more excited I got about what my future in Paris might bring.
All the while, I felt Edward's touch on me: a little graze of his fingers on my shoulder, a soft squeeze of his hand on my hip, a light kiss on my temple. They all made me sigh and smile secretly, as they reminded me of our nights together. From the happy smiles I got from Sue, it's safe to say that everyone noticed how happy Edward made me.
He also regaled my family with stories about Paris and our outings throughout the city. I have to admit that I fell a little bit more in love with him while listening to those stories, it was so different hearing them from his point of view and get a glimpse into his mind.
I had to giggle when I noticed so many women sighing dreamily, or so many men rolling their eyes when they heard his stories.
Much as I thought, everyone had fallen in love with him.
It's incredible to see how charming this man in front of me can be when he doesn't have to. I've seen photos of him from previous events and there was often something missing in his smile, it looked polite but not entirely real. It's not the smile he gives his family; it's not the smile he gives to me.
He wanted to make a good impression last night, but it wasn't forced somehow… it was just Edward meeting his girlfriend's family.
A soft giggle escapes me then I think of the word girlfriend, making Edward look at me from the reflection on the mirror.
I'm such a girl sometimes.
With Edward, it's hard not the be such a girl though, he's always doing or saying things that make my heart beat faster, my skin tingle or my body lean closer to his. Like last night, when he simply couldn't take his eyes off of me.
Every time I looked his way, he was staring at me with a smile on his face; every time I went to save him from one of my aunts, I heard him talking about me in such a way it took my breath away.
Love. You could feel it vibrating through every word he said. He makes me feel so revered all the time.
I wasn't the only one who noticed. Several times during dinner, I was stopped by one of my female relatives and told how lucky I was to have someone like Edward in my life.
It wasn't a mean-spirited comment of how a guy like Edward could notice me. I'm not that insecure, I know he's good looking, but I also know that at the end of the day, he spends his nights with me and no one else. No, my family's comments were more to point out that I was lucky to have someone, no matter how he looked, who loved as strongly as Edward did.
I know I'm lucky and loved and I plan on showing him how I feel, every day for the rest of our lives.
"They're great; they'll go with your dress." He faces me after giving up on his tie, which looks even more crooked for some reason.
"That's what I thought, thanks." I kiss his lips and turn to put the earrings on.
Today is the first time Edward's seeing what I'm wearing for the wedding. I never showed him back in Paris. I like to surprise him and see right on the spot what his reactions would be.
I chose a long, sleeveless blue silk dress, with ruffles cascading down the skirt. I just loved how it moved when I walked. The dress has a thin strap on my left shoulder and a ruffled one on my right one; something that I chose even when I knew the weather here wouldn't be very warm. Since I knew everything would be held indoors, I didn't worry too much about it. I'd just bring a long coat to wear outside.
I wasn't disappointed about Edward's reactions when he couldn't decide between letting his eyes roam my body or leaning forward and touching me for himself. Touching won.
"Come here." I laugh and pull him to me to fix his tie.
I redo the entire knot and without looking at his face, I know his eyes are fixed on me. That tingle on my skin is always present when we're in the same room. Even more so when his eyes are on me, and not only do I blush as usual, but I also find it impossible to stop smiling.
"Stop that." I say, laughing this time, without looking at him.
"What? I'm not doing anything, just standing here while you fix my tie." He nudges my hip with his hand and even he doesn't believe what he says, his own chuckles give him away.
"You know, I think your dress is missing something." He says in a serious tone.
I finish his tie and turn to look at myself in the mirror. I see nothing wrong with it, the accessories look fine and I think the color is pretty.
"What do you mean? Maybe it needs something more? I'll be wearing a coat, but only for a little while." What did I miss?
"No, nothing like that. I think I know what might be missing."
I turn as he reaches for something in his pocket, a small black velvet bag.
"You're the best man today and I know that had you known that before, you would've wanted to wear something different." I giggle thinking about that girly tuxedo I considered when Dad asked me to be his best man. Of course Edward's right, it would've been fun to wear something different.
"However, that doesn't mean you can't have something to make it official that you're the best man."
"Yeah, because standing beside my Dad isn't going to be a dead giveaway."
He rolls his eyes as he opens the little bag and, taking my hand, he lets something drop into my palm.
I laugh when I see it.
"I saw it while you were distracted talking to the owner of the antique store."
"Oh, sneaky you."
He bought me a bow tie pin, a small bow tie pin with little black diamonds.
"May I?" he asks and takes the pin when I nod.
He moves closer and I feel his hands on me while he secures the pin above my right breast. It doesn't matter that there is a layer of fabric between us, I close my eyes and it's almost like I'm naked under his touch, his hands roaming slowly over my body as they do when we're in bed. I want to moan and sigh and touch him back.
I feel myself blush under the dress, my hands itching to reach out.
When I open my eyes and look up at his face and notice his little smirk, I know he's letting his hand stay on me just a little longer than necessary.
"I think the pin is secure enough, Monsieur Cullen." I try to sound normal and unaffected but it's really pointless.
"I just wanted to make sure, Mademoiselle Swan. You know how thorough I am." Damn this man, I sure know of his thoroughness.
I lean forward, pressing myself into his front, while my lips start moving slowly towards his mouth and my hands move to rest on his hips. I can feel his minty breath on my face and how his chest moves against my breasts. I smile inwardly as I notice how his breathing is becoming more labored.
"Oh yes, I do know." When he leans down to kiss me, I turn my face. "And because of that, I also know that we don't have time for that thoroughness you speak of."
With great effort, I move out of his reach to retrieve my coat, gloves and clutch and laugh when I hear him whine from behind me.
"Bella."
"Best man, Edward, best man. I can't be late." I squeal when he catches me just as I'm about to make it to the stairs.
"That was mean, Bella."
"Look who's talking." I snort.
I turn and my eyes go instantly to his lips. I love those lips;,they're perfect. I debate between going forward and pressing my mouth to them or backing away and heading out to the wedding.
I sigh. Who are we kidding? We'll just be a little late.
His lips are soft, his mouth hot against mine, and that amazing minty scent is now more pronounced. How I love his mouth.
The rest of my body feels hot as well and my hands just take on life of their own as they move up his chest to grab at the lapels of his jacket, bringing him closer and closer. I think I dropped what I was carrying at some point.
I feel his fingers moving up and down the skin of my back, leaving tiny prickles in their wake. His movements are so slow, it's frustrating, but his hands feel so good against my heated skin, I just don't want them to break contact. He can go as slow as he wants if we just stay like this.
All I want now is to take off his jacket and my dress and feel him pressed against me. The thought makes me whimper against his mouth. I simply forget about everything except him.
However, that little whimper seems to bring Edward back to reality, stopping our kisses and slowing down his touches.
"Bella, we really have to go." He pants and rests his forehead against mine.
"I know, I know." Of course I know. What is it with us and the inability to get ready to go out in a timely manner?
"This is going to be a long day." He squeezes my hip.
I just have to agree, a damn long day.
O~o~O~LB~O~o~O
"Nervous?" I ask Dad as we wait for Sue to walk down the aisle.
Edward and I arrived with just enough time to say hi to people and get him settled in his seat. He's between two of my favorite aunts, who simply won't stop talking about this and that. They've always been so chatty.
He smiles politely and nods at them, and from time to time he looks my way and winks at me. My aunts notice that too and giggle like schoolgirls at the display.
"A little." Dad shrugs. "It's not like she'll leave me here at the altar, but I guess every groom is nervous on their wedding day."
"Well, she'll be here any minute now and you'll get to call her your wife from here on." I fix his tie, just because I want to do something with my hands. I feel tears in my eyes, I'm just too happy for him and Sue.
"Hey, hey. I'm the one who's getting married. Shouldn't my best man be all calm and collected?" He smiles and puts his hands on my shoulders.
"I know, I'm just so happy for you guys. I'm being a terrible best man crying at your wedding. I didn't even throw you a bachelor's party," I whine and now the tears fall.
"Bella, you're the best best man I could ever hoped for." He wipes the tears. "Besides Seth, there is no one I would've even considered taking this job. I'm happy you came; Sue is beyond thrilled about it. I only care that you're here, not that you gave me a bachelor's party and those tears?" He kisses my forehead. "They're happy tears, how could that be a bad thing?"
I hug him and cry a little more. These have been such emotional days.
When I lean back, he hands me a handkerchief and while I wipe my face carefully, I realize that I've been crying in front of everyone here. Of course I have to blush at this.
When my eyes reach Edward, he looks concerned and ready to stand up and come to me, but I give him a little smile and a head-shake, letting him know that I'm okay. He reluctantly nods, but keeps his eyes on me.
"He's been watching you all the time, that boy. I thought he was going to jump up over your aunts and come here. They even looked worried." Dad says as I hand him the handkerchief back.
"I bet, but they're strong. They would've stopped him." I laugh.
Right then, the music starts and we all turn to watch Sue walk down the aisle.
"It's show-time, Dad. Good luck." I kiss his cheek and he pretty much forgets about me when he sees Sue.
She looks even more beautiful than before, with her make-up and hair done and a pretty smile, but most of all, she looks utterly happy and that gives her a glow that compares to nothing else. Seth stands next to her and I want to laugh at the way he walks towards us, like he's the center of attention. He even waves at a couple of relatives.
We've all turned to watch them walk towards us, except for one person: Edward. I know he's looking at me just by feeling that familiar tingle on my skin.
I turn and like I thought, his eyes are on me. He winks, making me smile; he's teasing, but there's something more as well. There is a glint in his eyes that I haven't seen before today; it makes his green eyes look so bright and big. He looks sort of eager and so very happy, almost like there is a secret he wants to share and he can't wait for it.
All of a sudden, something flashes across his face, his eyes get even brighter and even his smile morphs, becoming bigger. He looks certain about something and I can't wait to ask him about what.
It becomes harder to focus on anything else after that, he looks just so damn different and thank God the wedding is not that long, because I was sure I might miss something important if I kept staring at Edward.
The vows are beautiful and after they are declared husband and wife, we move to the reception venue next door where Edward is waiting for me at the entrance.
"Hey there, handsome. Looking for a hot date at this wedding?" I peck his lips.
"Well, they do say that weddings are a great place to meet women. Maybe I'll get lucky tonight. Aunt Pearl has been giving me lustful looks since yesterday, you know?"
"Really? Well, she does bake this great chocolate cake. You might get a hot date and food at the end of the day." I giggle thinking about Aunt Pearl; she's 72 and handsy.
We move to the Emerald room from the Hall at Fauntleroy. It's beautifully decorated with dark red drapes lining the large windows, matching the red of the brick walls. The rest of the room is decorated in gold and cream colors on the tables and chairs, and flowers are everywhere, just like Sue wanted. Since it's daytime, there is natural light enveloping the room coming from the windows, where we also get a view of the gardens.
Nothing ruins the mood for anyone, not even the soft rain that has started falling. It's actually very beautiful and will make for some pretty photos a little later with the wedding party.
"Come on, I'm getting hungry," Edward says as he leads me to our table.
From then on, the reception is happy and everyone seems to be having a good time. The food is amazing, the music is beautiful, and a little later, with Edward clutching my hand, I'm able to give my speech without much crying. For the most part.
We talk and take pictures, some silly ones with my family and some with just me and Edward. I can't wait to see them, I want to remember the happy look on his face. I was right in the end, the photos with the rain as a backdrop looked beautiful, the rain actually made them look brighter.
"So, are you having fun?" Dad asks me, hours later, as we dance.
Edward is dancing with Sue, and he's laughing at something she said. He's shaking his head at her and I smile when I notice that those crinkles at the corner of his eyes are back again. He looks so young when he smiles. From where we are, I hear his laughter and I can't believe that even its simple sound makes me all tingly.
"Yeah, I liked seeing everyone again and catching up with the family. Did you know that Aunt Pearl has email now? She says she chats with her boyfriends, as in plural, Dad." I laugh; Edward would just be a boy toy to her.
"I know, don't remind me," Dad groans.
"But yeah, Dad, I'm having fun and everything has been beautiful. Sue did a great job with the party."
"I know; she did it all." His eyes wander to his wife.
I smile and we keep dancing.
"That boy loves you," he says. Simple. True.
"And I love him." Again, simple and true.
"He's family now. There is no way that boy is going to be out of our lives now."
I take a breath and think back to my time with Edward these past weeks. How many plans we've made for the future, how certain we've been that those plans would become a reality. For a while now there has been no doubt that we'd be together, that we'd be family, partners, lovers.
It was so scary to see a crack in those plans in our time apart, that there might be the slight chance they wouldn't become a reality or that they would change drastically, for the worst.
I look at Edward and now he's dancing with one of my little cousins. She's so smitten by him.
We still have to talk about things, but it's not a dreaded conversation, it's simply something we have to do.
"I know," I say just as Edward looks my way.
"Good Lord, girl, you're too far gone. Go get your boy, and we'll talk when Sue and I get back from our honeymoon. I wanna have a few words with you two."
"Dad, please-"
"Bella, I know you're a grown woman who can make her own decisions. You love him; he loves you. It's done. He's been here two days and I've seen you smile more in those days than in the week you've been with us." I smile sadly at him. I had been an awful daughter to him. "We all see that he makes you happy, and God knows the guy can't keep his eyes away from you.
"It doesn't mean that I don't worry about you though. You look better, but I want to say a few things to the both of you. I told you before you are by far the one that I care about the most. I just want to talk to you two; that's all. Nothing bad."
"Oh, Daddy." I hug him tightly. I know it's not like he can forbid me to see Edward if he doesn't approve, but having him say these words means more than anything. I've put him through so much with my love life, first Jake and my move to Paris, and then Edward and the fact that I've been moping around the house.
"Now, off you go. He looks weird hovering, waiting for us to stop dancing." He kisses the top of my head and leaves to find his wife. The next second, I feel warm arms hugging me from behind.
"Hey, are you okay?" He rests his head on my shoulder, kissing it.
"Yeah, I'm just all emotional. Being the best man is a hard job, Edward." He chuckles and I turn in his arms, facing him.
The music changes, and we sway to the soft notes. He feels so good and warm and smells amazing, all sugary and spicy. This is the first time we've really had to ourselves today with all the interruptions. At least he hasn't stopped touching me any chance he gets.
"Did I tell you that you look beautiful today?" he asks after a while.
"Actually, several times already." He has and I feel so pretty when he says the words.
"Several times? That's it? Pff, I'm losing my touch then. You look beautiful in that dress."
"Thank you. You look great in that tux."
I rest my head on his chest, so close that I feel his heartbeat against my cheek. His arms are at my back and mine circle his waist. I'm suddenly very tired and I want nothing more than to lie in bed with him.
"Are you okay, Bella? I mean, I saw you cry earlier, at the ceremony, with Charlie. You're not upset, right?" I smile against his chest. I knew he'd ask about that at some point.
"No, I was just being all weird. I'm happy for them. Did you see how Dad looked at Sue when she walked down the aisle? Like no one else existed." He loves her so much.
I close my eyes and remember the look he gave Mom all those years ago. He adored her. Whenever he walked into a room and she was there, he'd kissed her. At the time I thought it was weird. None of my friends' parents behaved that way, but in time it just set high standards for me and future relationships.
He was devastated when Mom died, and I think a part of him will never heal from that pain. It was in the way he looked at me sometimes, like I was the only thing left of her. It was painful to accept for a while, but then it got better and he often was the one who initiated talks about Mom and how much I reminded him of her.
Now, the look he gives Sue is full of love, but different. I think he loves both of them, just in a different way. One was his past and gave him a daughter; the other one is his future and gave him back his happiness.
"Well, according to your aunts, I look at you very 'dreamily' as well." I feel him chuckle.
"Sorry about that, they are very chatty, but I thought they'd make nice company at the ceremony." And they thought Edward was great company as well.
"They were and they also had tons of stories about young Bella."
"They didn't!" I look up and when I see his face, I know they did.
"Oh yes they did. I'll bring those up in the future, by the way."
"And I'll call Esme and ask her about you." My smile falters a little as I think about Esme and the rest of the Cullens. Are they mad at me because of our fight?
"She'll love to tell you all those embarrassing stories when we go home." I love the way he says home while he caresses my cheek.
"Are they not mad at me?" They'd be entitled to; they are his family.
"Of course not." He shakes his head. "It doesn't matter if we fight Bella, they love you like a daughter. You won't lose Mom, Dad or Rose. Never. Just like I won't lose Emmett, Jasper or Alice. We're family now." He leans and kisses my forehead softly.
Family. I remember Dad's words from earlier and, looking up, give Edward a watery smile. He says the words so naturally. There is no waver in his voice, no hesitation when he holds me against him. He knows this is happening.
"Don't cry, please." I bury my head in his chest and let the tears fall.
I'm happy about his words; it's the same thing that I'm feeling, that I have been feeling for weeks now. Even with our fight, I knew we'd be in each other's lives to some degree, but now hearing him say that for certain… it's overwhelming. I cry and it seems to relieve me of all the pressure from this past week. Still, I'm so tired of crying. I want to be happy; I want us to be happy, like all the times we were wandering around Paris.
Edward rocks me back and forth, kissing my face in different places and murmuring words that I can't decipher above the music.
"You looked so beautiful up there at the altar, next to your father. I could-" He takes a breath and when he doesn't continue, I look up at him. His hands cup my face and his fingers wipe my tears. His face has the same determined look he did earlier at the ceremony.
"You know I'm going to marry you someday, right?"
Like before, he sounds and looks so sure. He doesn't look at me with fear that I might deny what he's saying; he knows my answer. Because there is no doubt in my heart: one day I'll marry Edward Cullen.
"I know."
He smiles and those two simple words are enough for him. He leans and kisses me, and the sounds of people laughing, of glasses clattering, of music playing all fade away in the background.
The kiss is not hot like the one back at the house. It doesn't feel like we'll be ripping each other's clothes at any moment. This is different; it feels like… definitive, forever.
My hearts feels like is going to burst out of my chest, and my body starts to heat up. It feels like a current is running through my skin and I don't want it to stop. We slowly break the kiss and placing my hands on his cheeks, I say what my heart and body feel it's right.
"Let's go, Monsieur Cullen. I want to make love to you tonight."
I take his hand and after saying goodbye to everyone, we head out.
O~o~O~LB~O~o~O
The ride back to the house was surprisingly calm, all things considered.
There was no groping through our thick clothes or hot kissing that left us both breathless, but there was something in the air all right: the anticipation of what was going to happen, but neither of us was acting on those impulses. Instead, there was hand-holding and the occasional kiss to my temple or to his cheek. Edward would look at me and that would say it all: he loved me and this was the start of something new, better.
We both knew what would happen, obviously, and by not trying to rip each other's clothes off in the back of the taxi, we were both trying to make this last for as long as we could. I was engraving to memory every touch and look, every soft 'I love you' he would whisper into my ear.
I wanted to remember it all.
When we get to the house, we slowly make our way up to my room. Edward follows me a few steps behind. Neither of us say anything and the only sounds come from our steps.
The place is empty. Seth will stay out all night with friends, and Dad and Sue are heading for their honeymoon. We have the place all to ourselves.
There is still light coming from outside, but the sunset will soon arrive. I don't bother to turn on the lights as we go; it's almost like they would ruin the silence we're under.
In my room, I leave my clutch and gloves on my desk, and when I turn, I see Edward only staring at me, his eyes watching my every move.
I feel every cell in my body reaching for him, just begging to touch him. His face shows that he seems to be feeling the same and with slow steps, we walk toward each other. Each step that I take sends waves of anticipation over my body, thrilled that soon enough his touch will be on my skin.
"Hi," he says when we're face to face.
"Hi." My arms go up to his neck as he brings me closer to him.
Then, his lips go directly to mine and something that starts slow and sweet, soon transforms into something different, more heated. All those thoughts that usually cross my mind when we're together, come back. I want to touch his bare skin. I want to kiss his arms and chest. I want him.
We separate and without saying anything, we start undressing ourselves.
I turn my back on him and he helps me with my coat. His hands feel a little cold, and since my skin is so heated, the contrast makes me gasp and Edward chuckle.
I help him take off his own clothes, letting them fall to the floor. I have missed this action, not just to see his naked body and feel it under my hands, but the intimacy of it all. The uncovering of layer after layer to find bare skin, to find him, the man I love.
I kiss his chest and stomach as I go, moving the pads of my fingertips to touch the soft hair of his chest or the smooth skin of his back. I smile against his skin when I hear his shaky breaths.
Of course, this being Edward, he returns the favor. He would never miss an opportunity to touch me like this.
Little by little my clothes leave my body, as Edward carefully removes them one by one. As I did to him, his lips and hands touch everything they can reach. Only for him, it's a little desperate, like he's discovering things for the first time and is afraid they might disappear.
He's kneeling in front of me and I clasp his hands between mine when I notice they are trembling slightly on my hips, as he tries to take off my panties.
He stops and rests his forehead against my stomach. I can feel his hot breath though my panties.
"You're here, you're really here," he whispers.
"I am and I'm not going anywhere. I love you, Edward, nothing will change that, ever," I whisper back. "From the day that we met, I've chosen you, only you. No one else. This doesn't have to be perfect; tonight it's about just us."
He takes a couple of breaths and looks up at me.
"I just want this to be special."
"It will be, no matter what, Edward. Whatever we do, it will be special. We both know neither is going anywhere after today. There will be plenty of nights in the future for us." I wink, trying to lighten the mood.
He smiles, looking like the man back in Paris when we used to go out around the city. He gets it; it's just us.
"You're right." And his smile transforms into a smirk and I know we're okay.
He takes off my panties after that and with a trail of kisses up my body, he stops at my lips. His hands touch everywhere, and I have no idea where to focus: on his hands or his lips.
We fall into bed, our legs entwined as our hands move to my waist or his chest. His body feels amazing pressed against mine. Not only is the heat of his skin something I crave, but I can also feel his chest vibrating when he groans and the friction of his chest against mine. My legs move up and down his own, feeling the tickle of his soft hair brushing my skin.
Edward moves his mouth to my neck and shoulders, whispering soft words to my skin, like he often does.
I never know what he says, but it's the way he says the unintelligible words that make me think that, even though they are only for me, perhaps I'm not meant to understand them. His actions show me how he feels.
He leans back and softly nudges me to lie flat on my stomach. Before I get to say a word, I feel his body pressed against my back.
"Oh, God." I moan.
We've tried different things in the past; he's taken me from behind before, but now it feels so different. I feel his entire body enveloping me, like I'm truly surrounded by him.
"Are you okay?" He whispers, close to my ear.
I can only nod.
My hands grip the sheets above me and Edward entwines his left hand with mine, his other one moving between my legs. I have to rest my forehead against the mattress.
Edward rests his head on my right shoulder and kisses my now sweaty skin, as his hand works me up. I can feel him hard behind me and that, coupled with how great his hand feels, makes my orgasm inevitable.
"Bella," he whimpers.
His breathing is hard against my shoulder, and alternates between soft kisses and moans. His hips instinctively move forward, in tandem with the movement of his hand between my legs. I move my hips in sync with them as well.
Every time he moves forward, I feel the heat of his skin pressing against my back. It's too much and not enough at the same time. I feel completely surrounded by him, yet he hasn't even entered me.
The thought of that makes me moan loudly.
"Bella, please." My hips move with his hand and then I'm unable to stop it. I let go and moan his name over and over.
I still, arching my back, and feel Edward move behind me. Not a second later, I feel him enter me and I choke on another moan. The way he moves makes the high of my orgasm last longer, makes my breathing speed up.
"Bella." He groans and starts to move, slowly.
Keeping my forehead against the mattress, I simply let myself feel him. His body rests a little heavier against me, although I know he's careful to not crush me with his weight. I feel his hot and sweaty skin, his breath on my neck, and the thrust of his hips against mine.
With him, every time is different, even when we might repeat the positions or places. The feelings evoked are always different. Now is no different: it's reconnecting, it's 'I'm sorry', it's 'I love you'.
"I've missed this." He groans and buries his head on my neck.
I can only moan.
His movements become faster and a little more forceful. My hips move to meet his, as his right hand keeps pressing between my legs. His left hand, holding mine against the sheets, lets go and moves between me and the mattress to rest on my right breast. He's now embracing me tightly to him, not an inch of space between us.
"I love you," he repeats and thrusts harder.
I love feeling his body like this, so close: his legs moving between mine, the friction of his skin hotter and hotter against my own; his chest pressing against my back, feeling his hips thrust forward.
I move my cheek to rest on the mattress now. I want to see him, even through the corner of my eye. I also loosen the grip my hand had on the sheets and move it back, placing it at his hip, encouraging him to move faster.
"Oh God." The movement makes him thrust harder and rest his forehead against my temple. I feel his breathing on my cheek as I grip his hip harder.
With this and the tightening of his grip on my body, I can feel him getting closer and closer to letting go. And as much as I like how we are now, I want to see his face when he does.
"Please, I want to see you," I whimper.
The next second, we're moving and untangling, just to do it again when we're face to face.
"Fuck." Edward groans when we're back together.
My legs go around his waist and hands on his back. In this position, I can see his flushed face and frowning forehead, concentrating on his movements. He looks beautiful as always and I feel almost proud that I'm the one making him let go like this. I'm the one that makes him grunt and flush and lose control.
I can't help myself and move my hands to cup his face, feeling the heat under my hands and moving a few locks of hair stuck to his skin from his sweat.
"Just let go," I say softly, as he rests his forehead against mine. Our lips touch slightly every time he thrusts forward, and I taste the saltiness of his skin.
"I love you." He moans and with a few more movements, he finally lets go, his body shaking and then stilling, his eyes closing and mouth opening.
He's simply beautiful and he's mine.
"I love you." I say, close to his skin when he falls gently over me. The feel of his weight and body heat something I can't get enough of.
"And I love you."
A little later, we're both tangled and the heat of our bodies is slowly going back to normal. I look out the window and notice that it's already nighttime. I can see a few lights in the distance.
"So what happens now?" I ask him. I hate interrupting this silence we're in now with this question, but seeing the light out the window reminds me that there is a world outside that we have to face.
He's silent for a moment and, with my cheek on his chest, I feel him sighing deeply.
"I'll go and see James when we get back to Paris. You're right, I need to see him face to face and ask him a few things after reading Renata's letter. I will not let him get away with things anymore. I need answers, and he'll have to give them to me.
"I'll also take things to the end in the legal sense. I'm not going to ruin him simply because he's an asshole, although that's part of it." He laughs humorlessly. "I'll pursue him simply so he can't do this to anyone else. Now that I think about it, God knows how many times he's done this with lesser known designers, stealing what's not his."
I nod; this is the last we'll see of James.
"As for us, well, that also depends on you." He kisses my forehead. "I was an asshole to you, and you were dealing with things as well. We screwed up. I guess we'll do better next time then. We'll deal with things together. No more running away, okay?" He looks down at me.
I nod.
"And no more jumping to conclusions, okay?" I say back and he nods. "And what do you mean with 'next time', Mister?" I tease.
"You know there will be a next time for stupidity, at least on my part." He laughs. He sounds so happy even with that prospect. "And I guess it's a good idea to invest in a comfortable couch now, I get the feeling you won't want me in our bed for a night or two when I'm an idiot."
"Never." I giggle, because we know that he'll sleep on the couch if we have a fight. Not that it will last very long. Even mad, I would want him in our bed.
And that's it.
During these past two days, we've talked and done what we should've back in Paris a week ago. We've admitted we were both wrong, we've said we were sorry, we've realized that there was more than meets the eye to what happened, and now we're making plans for something new, something real, with fights and insecurities, but real. We'll just talk like we should've from the start and we'll learn from now on.
There will be mistakes, God knows there will be, but we'll face them together, back home.
O~o~O~LB~O~o~O
We spent the rest of the weekend naked in bed. There was no way I was showing him the sights after our first night together. Thank God, there was no one home that weekend. We certainly made the best of it.
We showed each other how much we loved the other with words and actions, with kisses and touches, with talks and contemplative silences.
We made plans for Paris, places he still wanted me to see and sights I've been dying to show him. We even talked to Alice and the rest of the guys, they were happy things worked out in the end.
Edward never left my side during those days, always had his hand on me or if they were both busy doing something else, he would stretch his leg and tangle it with mine. He was never satisfied unless I was close to him. Something I completely understood, since not only did I want the same, but I also knew we had to rebuild some of the connection we lost over the week of separation.
We're now sitting at dinner, with Dad and Sue, one of our last with my family. Little by little, it is sinking in that I'll be back home in two more days. I feel so bad that I didn't get to spend my time here, as I should've.
"So, are you still going back to Paris this Thursday?" Dad asks us.
"Yes, we have to go back to work next week and deal with… a few things," Edward answers and sighs.
"I feel like I barely had time to spend with you, with the both of you."
"I know that and I'm sorry." I look down at my plate.
"Don't be, Bella. Things happened that were out of your control. For the both of you." He finishes when he sees Edward is about to speak.
"Listen kids, I've been meaning to talk to you for a few days and I guess now is the time." He sets his cutlery down and looks at us across the table, Sue to his right.
"Edward, I care about Bella the most in the world. I've made a lot of mistakes, and there is nothing I can do to change them. I can only try not to repeat them again. That means protecting her from people who hurt her, or at least try to protect her." He looks at me pointedly. He knows I'd fight him if there was something I wasn't comfortable with.
"Yes, sir. I understand."
"It's Charlie, Edward. You've met my family already. I think we're past that sir thing."
I see a tiny smile on Edward's lips.
"Anyway, as much as I want to protect Bella, she's a grown woman and can take care of herself. She can also make her own decisions, and I'll respect that. And now, she chose you. I know neither of you needs my approval, but I have to say that you have it." He folds his hands under his chin.
"I wanted to punch you so hard when I saw you at my front door, son."
I grip Edward's hand under the table as he mutters, "I figured."
"However, seeing Bella since you got here and hearing what the rest of the family saw in both of you, what I saw in both of you. Well, there is nothing I can do now, not to the guy who will marry my daughter one day."
Sue smiles and wipes a tear as I feel Edward's hand gripping mine back. Dad doesn't even blink.
I'd be surprised by his words if I hadn't heard him say something similar back at the wedding.
"Thank you, Charlie. And you're right, that will happen." He turns to me and smiles so brightly, I forget all about Dad and Sue across from us for a moment.
"Alright then, but just so you know, I will punch you if she looks even a fraction as sad as she was when she got here, got it?" Dad points his finger at Edward.
"Of course. I'll do my best to make her happy for as long as I can. You will not regret saying this."
"I hope so, I don't like regretting things, son. Don't make me."
"And you, Bella." Now he turns his way to me. "I expect more visits from now on Two weeks wasn't enough and even though I learned to use that Skype thing, it's just not enough anymore." I nod and get up from my seat to hug him.
"Of course, Daddy. And you'll come to Paris as well, okay? Emmett and Alice are dying to see you again, and I'm sure Sue would love a little time in Paris."
Sue gasps and when I turn to her, she looks so happy with this idea.
"Now you've done it," mutters Dad.
After that, we go back to eating, and Edward holds my hand firmly all throughout the rest of it. He doesn't say much, as if he's thinking of something.
When I help Sue do the dishes, Dad and Edward disappear for a while, and I guess they're having some guy time. When Edward comes back he looks almost lighter, like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders, but he only kisses me when I ask him about it. I guess it was just a guy talk that I might never hear about.
On Thursday morning, we wake up early. Our bags are ready for tonight's flight, all the gifts have been purchased, having spent the day before finding the right ones for our friends and family. We also had lunch and dinner with Sue, Dad and Seth where I found myself smiling and sitting back, simply staring at them and their easy interactions.
After our dinner on Tuesday, things have been lighter for everyone. We enjoy the short time that we have together and make more plans for our next visit.
This morning though, I want to take Edward somewhere special, and since it's a little far away, our last day here needs to start early.
I drive us there, taking the ferry so that Edward can see the beautiful view of the city from this side and all the surroundings. I go from seeing Edward's face to seeing the view in front of us. I truly didn't remember it looked this beautiful.
Edward looks at everything with such awe, his eyes staying fixed on the view for minutes at a time. From the movement of his hands, I know he's itching to draw something. So I go for the next best thing, my camera phone and take photos so he can check them later.
I hear some giggles near us and when I turn, some girls are staring at him, trying to get his attention. I only shake my head, because I know the feeling. Even with his coat and scarf around his neck, covering part of his face, he looks amazing.
Only he doesn't look at any of them, he only looks at me whenever he manages to take his eyes away from the view. His smile and kisses are only for me.
"So, what do you think so far?"
"Bella, this is amazing. I can't even-" He shakes his head, his hair moving wildly with the wind.
"I know, breathtaking." I cuddle closer to him, with his arm around my shoulders.
After the ride, we're back on the road, enjoying the conversation and the soft music that plays in the background. The road is familiar even though I haven't been here in years. The scenery gets greener as the miles go by.
When we get to Forks, I drive us down the familiar road and stop when I see the house. It's been so long, it seems almost surreal.
"This is where I grew up," I tell Edward, without taking my eyes away.
I notice a new coat of paint, toys in the front yard and even a new fence. So different, yet the same.
"Are you okay?" Edward says as he kisses my temple, and I sigh, relaxing.
"Yeah, it's just so weird seeing it again, thinking about what kind of lives the new owners have there – in the place where I grew up. Did they fix the crack in the porch from when I crashed the lawn mower? Or did they paint over the marks made by the kitchen door to show how much taller I got every year?" It doesn't erase the memories if they did, but it's still bittersweet to think about. Our marks have to be erased in order to make room for new ones.
"We'll make new ones back home." He takes my hand. "We'll keep every little thing our kids make. Our fridge will look ridiculously full of drawings and magnets."
A laugh escapes me, and as I throw my head back, I let go.
I laugh as tears flow down my cheeks, tasting the saltiness on my lips. I'm so happy with the image he just painted. We both know our house will be full of drawings; yet I'm so sad that my Mom won't get to see it, that she won't be able to make the same marks with our kids alongside mine to compare them. We won't even be able to visit her here.
I hear the click of my seatbelt and then feel myself being moved to Edward's lap. I rest my head on his chest as he rocks and calms me with his words.
He promises that we'll visit more, that we'll take a million pictures so as to not forget anything, that we'll talk about Mom more and keep photos of her so that our kids will know how she looked. I laugh when he says he'll even try to learn to play the piano again so we can play duets for everyone.
I already fear how those lessons will go.
In front of my childhood home, Edward calms me and shows me, once again, that he's the guy for me, the only one.
"Is that better?" he asks after my tears dried.
"Yes, thank you." I sigh and look back at the house again. "And I want all those things with you as well, not just a perfect house with a porch and a yard." I motion to the house. "I want a life with you, stupid fights and piano recitals, carpooling and lazy Sundays."
He smiles and grazes my cheek with this hand as he stares at me.
"Okay then."
I laugh.
"Is that it?".
"Yes." He nods. "We want the same things and I'm tired of over-thinking things. We'll get there, I know it."
I nod, it's weird to see him like this: hesitant at times and so very sure of things at others. I guess things don't have to always be so difficult… they can just be.
A little later, we get to where I really wanted to bring him on this trip.
We slowly walk down the road, my left hand holding his and my right one holding a bouquet of flowers.
Daisies, Mom's favorite.
Each step takes us closer to where she rests, but instead of feeling sad or overwhelmed as I thought I would, I feel so much peace. It's impossible not to smile.
We stop and I kneel down to place the flowers in a tiny vase, getting rid of the old ones. The day is cloudy and the grass is wet from last night's rain, and everything looks so bright today.
"Hi, Mom. I brought you some flowers, your favorites. I'm so sorry I didn't come here earlier. A lot has happened in my life since you left. Maybe you know that already, who knows.
"Anyway, after all the bad things, I finally found that guy. You know, the one you always said would come, and I wouldn't know what hit me when he did. Well, you were right, I never knew I'd meet him by a fountain, with a loose button of all things. You would've been appalled to see that." I laugh softly, feeling Edward kneel down next to me.
"And here I am now, here we are. I'm so happy, Mom, it's ridiculous. Is this how you felt with Dad? No wonder you were always smiling. It's so much; even when I'm angry with him, I want to kiss him." I hear Edward chuckle next to me. "You would've loved him, Mom, he's a designer and I know you would've spent hours talking back and forth about hemlines and stitches and what's best for which fabric." She truly would've loved him.
"So, here I am, with my Edward visiting Dad, who's happy now, so happy. I know you'd be too, for him. And now we'll visit more and I'll come see you a little more often, bring you your daisies.
"I just wanted to tell you that I'm okay, that you were right. Things will fall into place when the time's right and they're finally doing that for me now. I'm happy and in love and I'll even get to be a designer now. Can you believe it? Of course, you can, you always said that would happen." My biggest supporter.
"Thank you, Mom, for everything. I wouldn't be here today if it weren't for your encouragement and your love for creating. It took me to New York, that's true, but it also led me to Paris and I could never regret that." I rest my head on Edward's shoulder and relax.
"I love you, Mom. Look out for us, okay? I'll marry him one day, and I want to see what kind of babies we will make." I giggle when Edward laughs.
We sit there in silence for a few moments. It's so peaceful; the feeling is stronger now that we're here in front of her spot. There is a cold wind, which makes the branches from the tree next to us move, the sound of that is so soothing.
Edward breaks the silence.
"I'll take care of her, Mrs. Swan. I'll marry her and make sure that none of my buttons will ever be loose, now that I know you wouldn't like that." I laugh. "And when the time comes, we'll bring those pretty babies here. They'll all know who you were and that in a way you brought us together."
I feel tears in my eyes, but don't let them fall this time. I'm happy, in love, and I know better things are coming. This is not a goodbye; it's introducing her to my new life.
"Bye, Mom. I love you and I'll see you soon." I kiss my fingertips and place my hand over her spot.
I turn to stand in front of Edward. He looks so cute with his coat and scarf, his face flushed from the cold and his hair moving wildly.
"Come on." I extend my hand towards him. "Let's go home."
And with a little nod, we slowly make our way down the pathway back to the car, back home.
And we're going home. *Tosses macarons for everyone*
So, the bad times are behind them. :-) They had to happen at some point for them. This was their first fight, not only for them but in general, neither of them has had to handle a relationship in a while. We sometimes learn the hard way and they let all that past and stuff get the best of them.
And yes, it's out there that they'll get marry. It has been a given for a time, but now the words are clear and out and everyone knows from just seeing their interactions.
I posted a few pics for this chapter if you want to check them out (link on profile), just imagine the pin is black, lol. Once again, I do things backwards.
Also, and I can't be more giddy about this if I tried, the lovely and pretty Ange de l'aube made this gorgeous banner for Little Buttons. She also had some lovely words to say about LB in her blog, I swear I can't stop staring at the banner, lol. You can check it out here: angedelaube (dot) wordpress (dot) com/2012/05/30/new-banner-little-buttons-by-choclover82/
Also, as you probably know by now, a lot of stories are being pulled from this site. I don't know if this will happen to any of my stories (FFn actually sent me an email that 'Thank You, Stranger' was being pulled but then they sent me another email telling me that it was a mistake on their part), but if that happens, I'll post something on my profile as to what I'll do about it. You can PM me any time and ask me about it if you want. I'm not saying it will be pulled by FFn or that I'm pulling, I'm just saying that if that ever happens, check my profile or ask me on Twitter. :-)
And I think that's it, lol. One more chapter left before the epi and we're done with this. I still have outtakes to post, so I won't be done just quite yet, but LB will be done. Boo.
Thank you so much for reading and, hopefully, not flouncing. Have a great weekend, pretty ladies.