I apologise for the long delay, and I know it sounds old by now, but I really am terribly sorry. Here, is a much needed update before the new year commences. I hope this year brings joy and merriment for all of you and your families out there. Happy Holidays ! :D :D . .

Dimitri's POV

There is a certain peace amidst chaos, and even while you are fighting for your own life or for the life of someone you care, your mind tries to cling to the bleakest fragment of relief in order to distract you from the prospect of your impending doom .

Needless to say , I have been in many a battle in my lifetime , and my life has flashed before my eyes far too many times already , but just this once , while warding off Strigoi on a lone country road , the thought of Rose having left this treacherous site was the only thing that soothed my heart enough to let me focus on the battle at hand . I chastise myself now for getting so carried away but I don't think that I would have been able to control such thoughts , because in those moments of fierce fighting , all I could think of was her security .

Having said this, you can very well imagine the horror I felt when I saw Rose materialise in the distance, sprinting towards us with determination etched on her face .

In a moment of careless hesitation , while my slow brain tried to process this scene , I received a potent kick to my stomach , requiring me to recover quickly while Amy held my attacker off . But, the physical recovery was just half of it .

" What on earth are you doing here? I thought I told you all to get going." I yelled at her , dodging a punch aimed at my face .

It probably wasn't the best of times to ask anything of her considering how she immediately had to duck out of the way of an incoming punch. It was from a particularly aged Strigoi, judging by his attire, and both Rose and Amy had been working on cornering him and a partner of his for some time now .

At least the odds were better there than what I was facing . At some point during the fight , the group of Strigoi must somehow have come to a conclusion that they should collectively try to take out the bigger of the two dhampirs , and that is why the other two Strigoi had been concentrating solely on me .

It was all a blur; dodging , kicking and punching, and to my chagrin , both of my attackers knew what they were doing .

" You know me, always ready to help . Aren't you excited to see me, Comrade?" asked Rose in a nonchalant manner, as if we all were sitting in the living room drinking coffee or something.

" That's not my point and you know it." I yelled back just as Rose was finishing off the Strigoi with the antiquated attire.

Moments later, when Rose had joined back, I saw Amy trying to move in to my aid and leave Rose with the other one that was left. One of my attackers, noticing my darting eyes, landed a sore kick to my shin and I felt my knees buckle. Seizing this opportunity and taking advantage of Amy being distracted by this , the other attacker of mine grabbed Amy by the shoulders and hurled her lithe body into the trees.

It all happened in a matter of seconds, yet it felt like hours. I saw her right arm contort and heard a crack in the air. I saw her hair flailing in midair as if screaming for help, and for one eerie moment, her face held mine and I gazed into her defeated eyes slowly fading away. And just like that , in a flash, Amy was out of sight; her body hidden somewhere among the trees.

Rose screamed and pounced on the Strigoi she had been dealing with, now more impatient than ever. As I was gaining momentum of my own, I saw Rose stake the damned monster and charge onto the one who had assaulted her friend. She was energised, she was unforgiving, she was vicious. Within minutes of such a display, and at the culmination of the ongoing fight of my own, Rose and I staked our respective nemeses almost in unison.

Rose was now hunched over on the ground, her chest heaving, as if she was preparing herself for her inevitable entry into the woods; preparing herself for what we both suspected lay there.

But, I clung onto hope; we still may be able to save Amy if we found her in time. So, I staggered slowly towards the forest, my steps faltering as the fading adrenaline gave rise to the aches and pains of my wounds.

" Amy." I called into the dark sky. " Where are you? Please just sa -" I ran and fell to my knees when I saw her mangled body lying among the undergrowth. The sight of several of her joints jutting out sickened me as I reached for her neck, praying to God that I be able to feel a pulse.

Nothing .

Nothing even as I held my palm in front of her nostrils to be reassured by even the faintest of breaths.

Nothing. Just silence in the forest.

Not even my painfully throbbing heart made a sound when I closed the eyes of a friend .

…...

The snapping of twigs nearby alerted me to Rose's arrival. I looked up at her and saw the lament in her eyes. She hurried forth and, falling to her knees, began to frantically pull Amy's arms from beneath her body and lay them as decently as she could as if that would rectify everything and hide the deathly aspect of it all.

Rose finally settled and stared at Amy; breathing heavily as she did. I shifted my weight moving away from her, from them, and after clearing my throat shakily said, " You should check to make sure that the others ar -"

" I already did." she cut me off and paused to gather her thoughts. " They haven't reached Court yet, but they should be safe. They're close. Mikhail also confirmed the dispatch of reinforcements. They should take some time though ; we literally are in the middle of nowhere." And just like that her voice had fallen back into its practised calmness. Although , one look at her and I could tell that she was far from being collected.

Hell, I was feeling the same way. This brought back too many memories for me, far too many. Amy was a friend, a dear friend and colleague. And to think that it could have been either of us lying cold on the forest floor; to think that it could have been Rose ….

With a jolt, Rose stood up and began to move deeper into the forest, her right hand clutching the bloodied stake.

" Rose. Come back." I called and ran after her.

" What on earth were you thinking?" I cried out , rather irritated , as I held her by her shoulders.

She pushed me away but didn't move forward.

" What are you talking about?" she asked.

" Why the hell did you come back? Are you crazy? Is something not working inside that head of yours?" I pretended to knock on her head. My voice rose the longer I thought about it.

She swatted my hand away and remained silent. But, I went on because I simply couldn't understand why she would do something as stupid as this. Not only did it give me unnecessary distress but she also left the Moroi with Mikhail alone. What if they had been attacked on their way? What if something had happened to Rose? Just thinking about the latter tugged at my heart. I pushed these thoughts to back of my mind; I wanted answers as to how she could have acted so foolishly.

" How could you have just left them like that with one guardian? I really don't get it, Rose. This is just careless of you. Not to mention that it goes against every single thing I have ever taught you." I rambled on and on and Rose maintained her uncharacteristic silence. I probably should have recognised it as the harbinger of an outburst, but in my defence, I was too agitated at that moment.

" Yes, I know what you taught me. I know what they all taught. They come first. They come first. I haven't forgotten anything. There was no way that you both could have fought all those Strigoi off by yourselves and I thought..." she paused amidst her tirade. " I thought that I would be of help. I just made a call, alright? A decision. I think I'm allowed that. Now can we please just let it go?"

She dabbed the torn, bloody sleeve of her shirt on her wounded arm . After moments of dabbing away with no positive result, she released the piece of cloth with disgust; a scowl marred her features. She seemed too nervous, jumpier than I'd ever seen her before, but I was too confounded to notice it at the time.

" I still don't get wh -"

" You both would have been dead, Dimitri. You could have died as well . Why don't you understand that I couldn't possibly have let that happen again, Dimitri? I couldn't have let you die all over again." she exploded. " And now Amy's gone and I couldn't stop it. I couldn't do a thing."

As her words sunk in, she stood there breathing heavily. Her bottomless brown eyes bore into mine as if she had laid bare everything she had.

My mind barely had registered the first part of her sentence because the end startled me. I knew what it felt like; the guilt ate away at you and swallowed your entire being if you allowed it to. I couldn't let her go through that. I had to make her understand . So, after what felt like an eternity, I closed my eyes and inhaled. Then, I slowly began, " You can't blame yourself for what happened, Roza. I know it's hard but you can't let it get to you."

By now Rose had fixed her eyes at the ground. " But, she is dead. She is dead. It could have been anyone. It could have been you." She repeated herself under her breath, no longer speaking to me but to herself. I could barely hear her.

" You have to understand... I know what it feels like, Roza. I know all too well. You can't let it get to you. You can't blame yourself." Then in a moment of irrationality I snapped, "It's the very reason I wanted you to go away, Rose. It could as easily have been you."

" I can say that about you too , can't I ?" she murmured, biting her trembling lip.

If I had been puzzled before, I was truly confused now. Rose was sending far too many mixed messages for me to comprehend. I had come to terms with the fact that we were never going to be together but how was I supposed to process this?

" Roza, you need to stop worrying about things like this; stop worrying about me. You can't afford to because you have to perform your duties no matter what. You have to protect Lissa first. Ugh, this is exactly what we were afraid of back at St. Vladimir's." I reasoned. " I try to protect you, Rose, and you just jump into a fight anyway. It's the least I can do for you considering that you and Ivashkov are getting ma -"

" I don't need to be protected, thank you. And no need to worry about Adrian either. I believe, that's not happening anymore."

This surprised me to no end, and although it produced more questions than answers I was ashamed at the little flutter of joy I felt at this. How could I feel happy in this grisly situation? How could I possibly feel so because of something that causes Rose distress?

I opened my mouth to say something but nothing escaped.

She began once again, " I can't marry him, it wouldn't be fair to go on as if everything is dandy. I tried to move on, Dimitri, I did for his sake. But, today when our car took off, leaving you and Amy behind, everything just flooded my memory. The caves, Russia, everything..." she drew in a deep breath. " And I don't think I can neglect that any longer , Dimitri." She swallowed before continuing, " I don't think I can disregard the feelings I have for y - "

That was all I needed. She had come back. For me. And although, I do not advocate the danger she put herself in , I couldn't just overlook her gesture. After months of anguish and heartache, I finally pulled her to myself and kissed her.

I have no words to describe the feeling of her kissing me back, her soft lips moving against mine. Despite the morbidity of our situation, despite the constant fear of death that was destined to loom over us, this was one moment we could truly enjoy. We were far from the restrictions and judgement of our society, far from anyone but ourselves, and in that gloomy, dark forest we were, for the first time in our lives, free .

You have no idea how much I miss hearing from you guys. So, please review and tell what you think . :D :D . .