Once again, Leni found herself sitting outside the pack of "popular" girls. As usual, they were chatting and occasionally taking a bite from their salads. She herself decided to try one for herself. Leni eyed the mixture of green leaves and herbs of assorted colors.

Picking up a plastic fork, she jabbed the plate and pulled out a small leaf and an orange strand. Leni briefly stared at it before ingesting the mixture. It was dry on the outside, yet contained some juices on the inside. Some parts of it were tasteless while others had a muted flavor to them. In a sense, it truly did taste like it grew from the ground (or as natural as the cafeteria could prepare it). She wasn't sure how to feel about it, so she decided to keep eating it in the hope that more exposure would allow her to make up her mind. At least with the other foods she liked, she immediately knew what to think of them.

As she ate, her eyes wandered elsewhere in the cafeteria. It was from there that she saw Lori take a seat next to Carol and her friends. She was too far away to detect her reaction, however she was relieved that even by Monday, her big sister had still remembered her promise. Whatever they were discussing, Leni dismissed, telling herself that she can just ask Lori at the end of the day.

With that, she returned to her own situation, eating more salad and watching the same five girls talk about their day.

"So then I literally said 'I'm not paying fifty dollars for this dress' and walked out!"

"What a ripoff! Is he trying to make you go broke?"

"But now I got nowhere to go! You honestly think that I'm going back there after they tried to charge me that much for rags!"

"There's the Fashion Club," Leni said. Just like that, without any thought, she decided to blurt it out for all to hear. Perhaps it was all that time of hearing them speak rapid fire to each other, teaching her that unless she rose up at their pace that she was never gonna get a word in. For her, thinking slowed down the process too much.

All five of the girls clammed up and turned to the sound's source. Leni tensed up at their gazes. They had never stared at her before and she wasn't ready. Her eyes darted around while her ears didn't pick up any voices, or at least not right away.

"Oh yeah, I saw a flyer from that," Leni heard one of them say. In that moment, she was too nervous to internalize tone or subtle social nuances. Even with that, she at least tried to keep herself still and focused.

"Do you know if it's any good?"

"Yeah..." Leni replied anxiously. By this point, she was twiddling her thumbs to concentrate the surge of energy flowing through her body. Granted, she had little clue on how much clothes they would generate for their sale, but it was better answer than none, she supposed.

"You know, I think I might come to the next meeting," one of them said, "but it better be good."

Sure that remark was a little sharp, but Leni didn't care all that much. This scenario blurred the lines between daydream and reality; the fact that she made it this far astonished her.

"I like clothes and I make them too," Leni added.

"Oh that's cool," Whitney said flatly as she took out her phone and started tapping on it. She didn't bother to ask what it was she was doing.

Assuming she had given sufficient input, Leni retreated to her salad and quickly took another bite of it. The sparks firing in her mind blew away the salad's irrelevant taste. It was only now that she could take a step back and reflect what had happened. Her heart bounced around at how quickly and lively the conversation had transpired. It made her wonder if she really did that or if it were someone speaking on her behalf. Either way, it was simply exhilarating. Her hands became jittery, allowing her to scarf down the rest of the salad as if it were a tasty hot dog.

Still excited, she got up and paced to the opposite end of the cafeteria with her plate to toss it out. No need to wait until the end of the period or acknowledge any of the trash cans she passed en route. All she could think about was how proud Lori and her family would be if they witnessed that. She, the least social in the family, initiated a talk with a bunch of girls that called themselves popular.

In the hopes of adding to he mound, she stretched her neck over to the section where Carol and Lori were seated. Unfortunately, they were too far for any of their faces to be discerned. Granted she could have gone closer to do some inspecting, however she didn't want to impose. Besides, that "milestone" she fulfilled was quite a lot for socializing. She didn't need to overdo it, she figured. So with that notion in mind, she headed back to the table (though that didn't prevent her from staring at the duo the whole time). Leni didn't bother tuning into the "popular" crowd's conversation, her mind too preoccupied by excitement and curiosity. Perhaps today would mark the splash that ended this dry spell.

At this point, the future seemed bright. Lori and Carol were gonna be besties. Lori would stop bugging her about making friends. The Fashion Club was going to grow and help all sorts of people, not just students at special schools. These thoughts (fantasies) carried her all the way to the bell. Not even waiting for her "friends" to pack up, Leni got up and paced all the way out of the cafeteria.

The transit from there to Mrs. Lane's room was brief and unfazing. All she could think about was the rush and how she planned to announce it in front of the others. They were gonna be so happy, she thought.

"Hi!" Leni chirped as she flung the door open and bounced to her seat. Her bright eyes were immediately locked on Mrs. Lane, who was carrying a soft smile.

"You seem excited," Mrs. Lane observed, "anything on your mind?"

It was like the teacher had telepathy. Either that or she was getting better at expressing herself. Just getting the opportunity was too much for her.

"I made new friends today!" she blurted out, her jubilance practically outrunning her mouth movement. It was only then that Leni realized she was smiling herself, a gesture that was purely unconscious. This all appeared to be good signs.

"That's wonderful," Mrs. Lane replied as she went to the white board and started writing the daily itinerary on it, "maybe as soon as Jake and Billy get here, we can talk more about this."

"Okay!"

With nothing else to do, Leni started to tap her foot on the tile floor, her head occasionally snapping back to the door. With all the ambiance of unintelligible chatter emanating in the background, it was impossible to detect either of their distinct voices. Sight really mattered at that time. Leni also checked the clock to calculate how much time she would have to discuss her "discovery". Even though it felt like an eternity, the clock rigidly moved like a glacier in icy waters.

Soon enough, Billy marched in, his form stiff and mechanical. His limbs were like wood and his face was mostly expressionless. But Leni didn't mind, because that's his usual disposition.

"Hi Billy," Leni said happily.

"Hi Leni," Billy answered before raising his palm. He took one of the seats next to Leni and stared at the board. With him in place, Leni turned back to the door and waited for her other classmate.

Thankfully, it didn't take long for Jake to hustle in. His entire body bounced all the way to the other seat, the contents in his bag clanked and clattered along.

"Hi Jake," Leni said, still carrying that smile. Jake, though, started slapping a rhythm on the desk. He may not have been one of those music kids and the beat was certainly not what one would hear on any single, but Leni didn't mind. Her classmate appeared to be having fun with his boisterous playing.

"Jake, Leni just said 'hi' to you," Mrs. Lane said as a gentle reminder. Upon receiving it, he stopped and did his best to face Leni (almost making it).

"Hi Leni!" he excitedly exclaimed with a chipper grin.

With no other greetings presented, Mrs. Lane pointed to the agenda she wrote on the whiteboard. All three of them directly their attention to the teacher.

"Good afternoon everyone, I hope you all had a great weekend," Mrs. Lane said, standing in front of the room. Seeing her students' excitement was enough to make her happy, as evident by her face and relaxed posture, "Leni, is there something you wanna share with us?"

By now, some of the steam had dissipated and it wasn't as overwhelming, but she still felt the fresh jitters of the event.

"I, like, got to talk to some girls today and now we're, like, friends," she said, her mellow voice baked with hints of the joy that had stolen her heart. Upon finishing, she gently sealed her lips and eagerly anticipated the reaction. Sure enough, Mrs. Lane was the first to jump to life.

"Well I think that's swell. Don't you two feel the same way?" she asked, using her open hands to gesture to the two other classmates. Indeed it was greeted by half-mumbled acknowledgements, authentic reactions to a reminder of how to compliment someone. Leni liked it, "So how about we take some time to go over what makes a good friend. That way, Leni can have the tools in her toolbox to talk, listen, support, and provide for her new friends. And then we can all use these tools when we talk to others."

It turns out that was the primary objective written on the board with blue marker. It was chilling. At first, she thought it was just the same thrill she was feeling earlier. But then that monotony was broken up by a question. If that was the only thing up there, then what was Mrs. Lane going to cover had she not revealed that information? Would it have been the same agenda? Leni contemplated whether or not Mrs. Lane had to forego some of her plans, all to satisfy the quick outburst she made. Why didn't she just wait until after she started describing her original plan, to know for sure what her true wishes were.

"Now the first thing we should do is get to know who these friends are," Mrs. Lane said, her posture and tone unchanged from that serene tranquility, "Leni, do you want to tell us a little about these friends?"

The image of all five of those girls bunched together, chatting the lunch period away about who knows what tempted Leni to tell a grand story. With the emotions that struck her from it, she thought that it was possible to spend the entire class period just dumping all sorts of knowledge regarding all of them.

"Well, like, there's five of them and they are all girls. They eat salad a lot," she said, pausing to think over what else to say. It was one of those times where she realized that there was a big difference between how much she thought she needed to say and what she was actually able to get out. There were details she thought could be expanded into full sentences (paragraphs even), but never made the final utterance. Eventually, she find something she could craft into audible words, "And one of them, like, is named Cassidy."

Once free from her thinking, Leni saw the board and trembled a little when she saw that everything she said had been documented. And with nothing else to transcribe, Mrs. Lane turned back to her.

"That's a pretty good list so far," Mrs. Lane said. Leni, though, felt weird how her own teacher could consider that lack of detail good, "Is there anything that you like that one of your new friends like?"

"Clothes."

The whole reason she spoke to them to begin with and one of the small handful of topics that were hot enough to become instantly recognizable, instantly worthy of mention. Even though she knew Mrs. Lane wasn't with her during that crucial lunch, there were times where it felt like Mrs. Lane knew exactly what to ask her that would trigger an appropriate response (whether it'd be for Leni's pleasure or her own purposes).

"Okay, so you have something that they like too," she said, inscribing 'clothes' on the white surface. Once it was clear enough for all to read, she turned and gestured to the whole group, "Now can any of you tell me what Leni can do to make her new friends happy?"

Jake shot his hand up and shook it around, hoping to be noticed. Indeed, the wild gesture was detected and Mrs. Lane pointed at him.

"How about they play with Legos!" he suggested. All Leni could think about was the amount of Legos that sat in Jake's backpack. They were his favorite toy and they were all he ever talked about when in 'class'. She merely smiled as she genuinely asked herself whether those girls would like Legos.

"Well Leni could find out if her friends play with them," Mrs. Lane responded, "if they do then they could use them. And if they don't, then she could find something else they like," she then used her marker and pointed at what she had written down, "Now we already know that her friends like clothes. So what type of things could they do that involves clothes?"

The trio then brainstormed various activities involving clothes. Leni raised her hand and looked around, seeing if either Jake or Billy had any ideas of their own. None of hem did. She presumed it was probably due to her status as a girl who likes clothes. As the only person with a suggestion, Mrs. Lane happily pointed to her.

"Like, I think we could go to the mall," Leni replied. It was the first thing she thought of, yet she smiled a little thinking of all the shopping options that were there.

"Very good, Leni!" Mrs. Lane said as she wrote that suggestion under 'clothes'. Indeed, it made Leni feel accomplished, "There's all sorts of stores and kiosks at the mall where you can look at, try on, and buy all sorts of clothes. I bet you and your friends would like going there," and with that, she pointed to Billy, "Billy, do you have any ideas?"

The boy stared at Mrs. Lane for a few seconds. His face only moved when he blinked and when opened his mouth.

"Talk about clothes," he said robotically.

"Yes," the teacher responded, nodding her head. She whipped around and also wrote that on the board, right below the 'mall' suggestion. Leni would never admit it openly, but she did take some pride from her suggestions being at the top of the list.

She abstained while Mrs. Lane continued to ask for various suggestions regarding clothes. It wasn't that she didn't know what type of fun activities there were (she did seeing, read magazines, and tried on all sorts of articles), but she felt far enough ahead to where she could lean back and give the others a chance to catch up. Besides, some of them had some pretty fun stuff to say. Jake suggested doing karaoke in fancy dresses while Billy opted to play imagination games (where she and her 'friends' would draw their dream outfit). While Jake envisioned playing baseball in high heels, Billy thought of opening their own clothes shop and work out the actual financial figures needed to make it a success. With all their creativity, Leni started to wonder if they needed as much 'catch up' as she first thought. It might have made her a little self-conscious, but she didn't let on.

"Okay, we seem to have a lot of great things that Leni and her friends could do about clothes," Mrs. Lane proclaimed, observing the long list of various, quirky activities that Leni could see herself enjoying, "Leni, do you know any other interests your new friends have?"

And then she was stuck. She thought that after sitting down "with" these girls that she was bound to pick up other things beside clothes. The student recalled that they mentioned something about a music band somewhere, but was stumped over the precise name or genre. She could've sworn she heard them discuss something that happened on TV, but for all she knew it could have been Princess Pony or Real Times Under the Sun. Why couldn't she remember something? Why did she jump the gun?

"Um..." she said. Internally, a clock was ticking down with its cold, definitive beats. She didn't want to think about what would happen if and when the time ran out. In that interval, she asked herself if it's better to lie. To be a liar was a terrible thing. Plus, she knew from experience that her attempts at dishonesty were unconvincing. Without a way to get away from it, she simply closed her mouth and shook her head.

"That's okay," Mrs. Lane reassured her, "As you talk more to them, you'll get a better understanding at what they like to do. But let's do a little pretend and say that one of them really likes plants," with a smile on her face, she enthusiastically wrote the word on the board, "Now what type of things could we do to make this friend happy?"

In the following section, Leni made sure to raise her hand as much as possible to throw out whatever suggestions she could. They weren't as creative or out-there as Jake's (who wanted to make a jungle playground for a monkey to swing around), but she tried her best. As she got more and more of her ideas on the board, she pampered herself even more, to compensate for that one embarrassing lack of an answer.

There it was. It was happening again. As she sat there, the voice telling her to up her game was amplifying.

"No more mistakes! No more dumb stuff!"

Leni shivered within her own skin as she became intimidated by her classmates' responses. They were so creative, so spontaneous, so brilliant. It was as if they were both geniuses that were spouting knowledge by the roll of the tongue (whether it was growing a garden or buying a book about fauna or sending a bouquet of flowers). How were they able to do that? And meanwhile, she could struggle to make out to talk about roses and lilies and daisies.

Behind the blank face she maintained throughout the discussion, Leni realized this wasn't the first time she had these bad feelings. Whenever she went to Mrs. Lane, she always sensed that something was out of place, but the exact source varied.

Some days she blamed the class's slow pace. Since fifth grade, she stopped feeling like every session was a new learning experience; there were days where she was learning something she already knew. She may not have shown it, but she got annoyed by the monotony, the teacher's inability to trust her with remembering stuff for more than a year.

But then on others, she drew her finger to herself. For all the compliments she's receiving regarding her "progress", she still doesn't view herself as a social butterfly. Sure, some of it was from her introverted nature (spending time with Lori or her family, however much she loved them, was mentally draining). But when she had the space to think clearly, Leni also recognized that she was ill-equipped for meaningful conversations with other people. She lacked the practice or ability with socializing to make herself a virtuoso, and sadly no amount of therapy could resolve that. She knew there was a reason why the mere act of talking to these "popular" girls was enough to send her over the moon. It could have been to anyone, on any topic, for any duration and it still would have made her happy.

On that day, it definitely felt like the latter was responsible for her distress.

"Like...there's...um...a cake with a flower on it," Leni stuttered. Surprisingly, that ended up on the board too.

As she mentally slapped herself, she definitely registered the latter as the culprit. By this point, she was stuck. Any effort to disentangle herself from this conundrum was pointless.

"This is why you're weird! And not in the good way either."

It was times like these where she wished she could get out of this room. Regardless of what day it was, she felt she no longer belonged in this room, having Mrs. Lane to spoon feed her while the other kids upstaged her.

Smack.

"Look at yourself! You think you're gonna make friends with that attitude? Think of how Jake and Billy would feel if they heard you say that!"

Leni wasn't even tuning into the conversation anymore. Still holding a blank face, she turned first to Billy (whose stoicism was impossible to decipher) and then to Jake (who was fiddling with his fingers). Thankfully, none of them could hear her mental tirade and she was glad for it. The truth is that she liked both of them. They were nice, cheerful, and creative.

"Why don't you ask them to be your friends?"

She had given it some thought before. Leni admitted it would be nice if she got closer to one or both of them that it would blossom into a fulfilling friendship. Maybe they would understand what she was going through, dust off these cobwebs and move on. Jake could probably get her into Legos and she could teach him how to sew. Billy could tutor her in math while she showed him where to find the best clothes for the lowest prices. It was a nice fantasy, indeed.

But would it really work out that way?

For all the admirable qualities they possessed, both of them had many challenges at the friendship game. While Leni never pressed them for details, she never heard them talk about other people outside their family. While they were good at participating at discussions, she had yet to hear them weigh in on any fears they've achieved (no new friends, no successful conversations, no remarkable observance of social rules). How would she know that they'd be willing to befriend her if they had no interest in applying what they learned from Mrs. Lane.

"There you go badmouthing them again! Why can't you just say that you're the one with the problem?"

Leni was ashamed for resorting to assuming things. She figured that was the price for her not asking questions. Maybe deep down, they did want to make friends but they too lacked the confidence or ability to speak up or work at it. It was from that notion that made Leni wonder if others viewed her the same way.

"Of course they would!"

The bell rang, thrusting Leni out of the mess. Mrs. Lane erased the board while Jake and Billy grabbed their things.

"Great job everyone! I hope we can all use this when we're talking to others and I will see you tomorrow," Mrs. Lane said cheerfully.

Leni awkwardly grabbed her bag. Her chest twisted as she thought about her options. Would she do it? Would she step outside her realm to truly start making real friends?

Jake and Billy were fast. As soon as their bags were on their backs, they bolted out of the room. Leni, though, was too slow in speaking up, as she usually was. She was barely standing up when they were already gone, leaving just her and Mrs. Lane.

"Once again Leni, I am proud of you for finally making friends," Mrs. Lane looked at her fondly, giving a warm smile.

It took her a moment to collect her thoughts. She wished her teacher hadn't said that. It felt mocking, as if her teacher already knew everything and was just privately shutting her down. But it was mean to hold hard feelings on other people, especially those that mean well. After all, it was her own fault for having a broken brain.

"Thanks," Leni said meekly. There was no pride at this point (or at least not yet).

As she shuffled out the room, her mind returned once more to the five girls at the lunch table. Sure they act uninterested towards her (even with their appreciation of clothes). Sure she herself was socially awkward for barging in their conversation. Sure she had an "unchecked" ego for being too quick to celebrate. And now she let Jake and Billy get away, the two people she felt were her true gateway to friendship.

But now she was being too judgmental towards others. Leni realized she needed to learn more about those five girls, her friends. Maybe once she got closer, she would peel back the exterior and see them for the sweethearts they truly are. They can't be that bad.

"I owe it to them to right this wrong," she said as she stumbled to her next class.