Chapter 26

BPO

Well, that was that.

That was all Edward and I would ever be to each other. A could-have-been. An untold story. A friggin' dropped plot point.

Jake was at the door that night, and he made sure I was safe and as cheerful as possible, under the circumstances. In all truthfulness, there wasn't an inch of my body that felt safe, content, or the slightest little bit of happiness. But his effort was heart-warming, and I didn't want to hurt Jake. It was bad enough that I had lost Edward.

I always thought that, deep down, Jake knew something was up. I had tried as hard as I could to disguise any sadness from my face, but something inside me was broken, and somehow pretending it wasn't only made it harder to put up with the pain.

So soon I told Jake to leave, promising he could come back for me in the morning.

And there I was, alone, in my bed. And Edward haunted me. His words wounded me, over and over again. "I only kicked you out because you told me you were in love with me."

Ugh.

I grabbed my pillow, held it over my head and screamed. Loudly. That was that.

After that night, I moved to LaPush with Jacob.

It wasn't a hard choice. It wasn't a choice at all, as far as I was concerned. Charlie didn't want me staying alone and, in all honesty, I didn't much like the thought either. So when Jake insisted that I go to LaPush, I didn't have to think twice. We agreed that he'd pick me up the next day after I had time to pack. I didn't bother to tell him that I was still packed – I could use the time alone.

Early the next morning, Jake and Billy were at my door. I was thankful that they didn't bother to ask me any questions about my stay at the Cullen's. They were very clearly avoiding the subject, and I could have kissed them both because of that.

When we got to their home, they pointed in the direction of the kitchen, the bathroom and my room, talking as if I had never been there before.

I didn't mind and played along with it, nodding as Billy showed me around. The last room we saw was mine, and I was left alone to unpack.

They gave me my own room over there, which I found out, had been specially decorated for me. The room itself wasn't very big, although it was probably bigger than my bedroom back home. Of course it didn't compare to my room at the Cullen's, but I felt bad for even comparing the two. This one was decorated in blues and browns, but Billy had made an effort for it to remain girly.

The bed was bigger than I was used to, but I didn't think I'd have trouble adjusting to the extra space. The bedspread was blue and white, and I sighed as I ran my hand over it, feeling its soft texture under my fingertips. Maybe I was more tired than I'd realized.

Turning my attention to the large armoire on the opposite side of the bed, I opened its door and was surprised to discover they were hiding a television, framed by probably over 50 books. I skimmed my eyes through the spines of the books, drinking the names in front of me with my eyes. Orwell, Joyce, Steinbeck. I was thrilled for probably the first time since my arrival. In spite of feeling under the weather, I had some of the best books in history at my disposal for the next few days, and I wasn't going to waste them.

Turning around, I noticed the bedside table had a vase with blue wildflowers, which I knew must have been picked for me. I wondered who had bothered with that, but I never asked, and Jake didn't tell me. On second thought, that was probably for the best. I wasn't very good at showing gratitude.

"Everything okay?"

Started, I turned around; for whatever reason my gut reaction had been to feel like someone had caught me going through stuff that didn't belong to me. Then again, that wasn't very far from the truth.

Jake stood by the door, with that unbelievably friendly wide grin. "Everything's perfect," I nodded. "Thank you for all the trouble, Jake."

The corners of his mouth turned up amicably. "It's no trouble. We're glad you're here." He took a couple of steps in my direction and gestured towards the books I had just been studying. "I know you're a sucker for books. Never quite understood why, to be honest."

"I love books simply for the pleasure of being able to slip into a different world. Reading allows me to take a break from my life, experience new things, learn about things I never thought I would," I spoke softly, only realizing how serious I sounded after it was too late. My mind raced to Clark and Harriet, and wondered if I would ever find out how Edward's story would end now. "You should try it sometime," I added playfully, hoping to lighten the mood.

With a chuckle, Jacob closed the doors of the armoire, hiding the books from our sight. "I'm more of a hands-on kind of guy."

As if in demonstration, Jacob showed me his oil-stained hands, which he started cleaning with his own t-shirt.

"So…" Jacob grabbed my wrist gently and pulled me until I was sitting next to him on the bed. "My dad sent me here to entertain you."

I felt like telling Jake I was an expert at entertaining myself, but I couldn't let him down like that. "Entertain me, huh?" I retorted. "And how do you plan to do that?"

Jake's grin turned into a smirk. "You got your bathing suit?"

Uncomfortable. Oh so awkward.

I could probably come up with a dozen things I would rather do than going to LaPush beach with Jake. I would rather stay and read one of the masterpieces that were begging me to emerge into their fascinating storyline. I could listen to my iPod. I could check my e-mails. Hell, I could cook dinner, if it came to that.

But my manners kept me from saying just what I felt and now I stood in front of the mirror, trying to find an angle which didn't make me look as ill at ease as I felt. It was useless. I would forever be like this.

I did have a bathing suit, or rather, a bikini, which had been bought by Charlie on one of our bonding trips. He had picked out a black bikini with a low cut and I didn't have the heart to tell him I didn't have the body for this type of beach clothes. I always looked my best in jeans and baggy t-shirts.

I remembered Alice's words about how my figure was petite, ye curvy in a lame attempt to feel better about myself.

Grunting, I threw my hands up and gave up. I shoved a baggy beach dress over my body and prayed we never actually went into the water so I didn't have to show my awfully un-toned body behind to anyone.

Without giving it a second thought, I ran downstairs and found Jake, ready for our day at the beach. Whatever that meant.

Finding him outside, near his bike, I tried as desperately as I could to pretend I was happy about this. "Where is everyone?"

Wiping his hands on a ragged dirty cloth, Jake walked up to me. I had to admit he was getting better looking by the day. He wore his trunks, and that was it. His chest was hard and his pecs well defined. "Well…I'm here. And you're here. I think that makes everyone."

He paused, then smiled. "Come on, let's go."

A few hours later, I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. Not because I was with the man I loved, or because I was having such a good time. But because we never actually went into the water and my flabby self has remained hidden underneath a baggy beach dress. I was always a glass half empty gal, but now I was definitely focusing on the positive.

Not that I wasn't having fun at all. Jake and I were great together – always had been. Sometimes our fathers joked that we would get married because we were so similar and we got along so well. We had both always ignored their words, mostly because we were so great together as friends. We spent our day talking and laughing, lying on the beach and being silly with each other. It was so different from anything I had shared with Edward. It was easy.

Suddenly, I felt Jake grab my hand. I ignored the fact that my fingers immediately started to twitch, desperately wanting freedom.

"So, will you ever tell me?"

I straightened my back, suddenly feeling incredibly uncomfortable. "Tell you what?"

"What happened between you and Edward."

Clearing my throat, I shook my head. "Nothing happened. We were friends. We aren't anymore. I guess we got it right the first time."

"I never wanted you to stay with him, alone. Never felt right. You know he's a manwhore, right? Tanya was with him, while you were at his place." My eyes widened before I could hide my reaction. "I figured you didn't know."

Swallowing my feelings, my pride and my anger, I shook my head. "It's none of my business what Edward does." I lifted my eyes to Jake's face and saw he still had a small bruise, probably because of their fight on the night of the party. "I'm sorry he hurt you."

"He didn't. You did." I furrowed my brows, confused. "You hurt me when you stayed with him. When you didn't stay with me. I've always loved you, Bella."

"Why are you telling me this, Jake?"

He smiled sadly. "Because sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith."

Unwillingly, I felt my head bend down to his lips. Before I knew it, we kissed.