A/N: This was a little later (like an hour lol) than I intended, but I'm REALLY happy with how it came out :D It's a setup for things to come… ;)
Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush, but I do own Sage and Elliot.
DO IT: Go read Surfergal23's lovely story Hooked. It's an angsty Kendall/OC :)
-waterwicca
CHAPTER 26: BIG TIME FORGIVENESS
"Merry Christmas," Elliot's voice was calm and composed as he stared at Sage, who was watching him cautiously just as she always did.
Officer Henderson worked most of the day during Christmas, but now it was later in the evening. He had come home and hurried to her room excitedly almost as soon as he arrived. He very rarely spent time around the house unless he was in her bedroom, much to Sage's annoyance. It had been almost a full month since Elliot bared his heart to her, and nothing really changed between them. The only difference was that Sage began speaking more. She no longer tried to hide inside of herself when he came into her personal space because there was nothing she could do. He wasn't much of a physical threat anymore. He very rarely touched her maliciously, seeming to hate the way she had come to fear him, and Elliot mostly kept his distance, but that didn't stop him from talking.
Sage quickly learned that the real Elliot was quite social. The man she used to know, her stepfather, had been silent and withdrawn, but now she realized that it was because of the real feelings he locked inside. The person in front of her was different in every way, and that scared her more than a vicious Elliot. An Elliot who was kind and attempted to be thoughtful and respectful was emotionally difficult to handle, but she constantly reminded herself of her situation. She was still his prisoner no matter what he did. His motives may have been pure, but his actions were delusional. He lived by his own code; one that Sage had to learn in order to understand him. She was still trying to grasp it, and it seemed to get farther and farther away from her all the time. Maybe Elliot would be the only one to ever comprehend what went on in his own head, but, sometimes, she thought that it all eluded him too.
"This is for you," he smiled, handing her a small box wrapped in silver paper.
Sage eyed it skeptically but still took it into her shaky hand as she shifted back a little bit more towards the end of the mattress so that she would fall off of it if she went any farther.
As soon as Elliot had entered her room that evening, he pulled her over to the dreaded piece of furniture, which she hadn't been happy about. Nothing good ever happened on the bed.
Elliot crossed his legs beneath him and leaned back onto the headboard, almost sensing that Sage wanted more space, and watched her with a slight grin as she cradled the tiny present in her hands at the foot of the bed. She took one more glance at him, keeping her face stoic, and began ripping the paper away.
When the gift was finally revealed, she couldn't even move. It was a piece of jewelry, but it wasn't that simple. It never was with Elliot. Resting snugly in the velvet box was Julia's engagement ring. Her thoughts were moving too quickly for her to grab onto a single one, but they were all of her mother.
"Why are you giving me this?" Sage whispered, her green eyes wide with panic as her breaths became shallow like she had almost forgotten how to take air into her lungs.
"Breathe, Sage. I'm not proposing," Elliot chuckled, rolling his eyes quickly at her obvious conclusion. Elliot was disturbed, but he wasn't an idiot. He knew Sage would never agree to marry him. "I just think you should have it. It's yours," he shrugged, lifting his hand through the air to point at the ring still nested in Sage's sweaty palm.
"It's Mom's," she corrected him swiftly, moving her stare up to search his brown eyes for understanding. He wasn't letting her in.
"No, it's not," Elliot shook his head slowly, keeping his focus on her. "I told you before that it has always been you, Sage. Julia was just a stop along the way," he shrugged for a second time, attempting to appear nonchalant by her judging look, but she wasn't buying it. If she had learned anything in the last seven months, it was definitely the ability to tell whether or not he was trying to keep something from her.
Sage scoffed with an exasperated smile and glared at him, thinking that she's seen this act before and was in no mood to deal with it.
"I don't want this ring," she declared sternly, raising her hand up to give the jewelry back. She didn't bother concealing her attitude from him. He never cared anymore anyway. He didn't mind what she said or did as long as she was doing it honestly. Just the thought of it twisted her stomach in knots. It was almost as if Elliot was starting to really know her, like he knew what her reaction would be to this.
"You don't have to wear it until you're ready," he offered easily, seeming to think that was her problem. An engagement ring was a big gesture whether it actually meant a proposal or not.
"I don't want anything from you, Elliot," Sage cleared up her intentions with a sharp tone, not trying to fight away the scowl she shot him. She was still studying him, feeling as though something about the entire conversation was off, which made her captor nervously move his eyes to a random spot on the wood floor beside the bed.
"Why can't you just accept a gift?" Elliot sighed, feeling off balance and agitated. Sage was staring right at him, and it made him anxious. He looked like he wanted to get up and walk out of the room so he wouldn't have to see the way her eyes analyzed him. For once, it felt like Sage had the control.
"What's wrong with you? Why would I want my dead mother's ring?" she paused, letting her mouth say whatever it wanted before she seemed to finally grasp what was happening. Her lips set into a tight line, examining the way Elliot's eyes met hers only for a moment and how his fingers wrung together tensely. "What are you hiding?" she asked suspiciously, trying to appear as strong as she could, thinking it was the only way to get an answer out of him. She wouldn't back down.
"Nothing… She was important to you," Elliot offered lamely, his voice rising a little while his gaze still refused to meet hers.
"But she wasn't to you… You never cared about her," Sage insisted, knowing that it was the truth. Even after Julia slit her wrists, Elliot didn't seem fazed all that much. He never hid the fact that he didn't have a high regard for his wife. He had beaten her for years before he touched Sage.
"You're right, I didn't," he relented slightly, agreeing with her statement quietly.
"There's something you want to say, but you're not saying it…" Sage thought aloud, growing more curious as the seconds ticked by. She found herself wanting to know the truth. She had no idea when it started, but she actually wanted to hear what Elliot had to say.
"Wow, this sharing thing is really biting me in the ass," he mumbled, attempting humor, but it was lost on Sage.
"I'm done talking. I'm not playing any more games with you," Sage spoke strictly, tossing the ring onto his lap without a second thought.
She lifted herself up confidently, using her hands to push her body off of the bed, and swung her legs around towards the edge of the mattress. Sage knew she had nowhere to go but was still determined to ignore him and sit at her desk like he wasn't even there. Before her feet could touch the ground, Elliot grabbed her wrist. She stiffened immediately, not fighting as he tried to tug her back into a sitting position on the bed. The fear was almost there, bubbling up in her throat and begging to turn into a strangled cry, but then she noticed how he touched her. It wasn't with harsh force. It was gentle despite the desperate words that left his mouth, and it was so unlike him; unlike how she wished he'd be. When Elliot was kind, he was even harder to deal with. She never knew exactly how to react.
"Wait… Just stay… Th-There's something that I n-never told y-you…" Elliot claimed nervously, stuttering over his words as he released her arm as soon as she was back in front of him, realizing he had no reason to touch her anymore.
"I thought you explained everything you had to last month…" she said, keeping her legs in front of her but pulling her upper body back in apprehension. She just felt like she needed to keep her distance. It's how she always felt around Elliot no matter how calm he was. She couldn't put trust in him.
"I left part of our past out… I didn't want you to hate me," he admitted meekly, swallowing harshly and licking his lips as his fingers came back together on his lap again.
"Trust me, you're safe," Sage rolled her eyes, keeping the rest of her expression guarded. They both knew she couldn't feel any worse about him.
"Whatever happened is done. I can't take it back, so why should we talk about it?" he wondered fearfully, quietly begging her to let it go. He was being evasive, and it aggravated Sage more than she thought it would.
"It's all you wanna do! 'Talk to me, Sage'," she whined dramatically, mocking him and throwing her hands in the air. "That's all I hear every day from your fuckin' mouth, and now, when I ask you a question, you dodge me!" she yelled in frustration, turning his own tactics back on him and angrily staring at the man who claimed to love her.
She was so sick of feeling out of the loop. She was tired of being bothered, and she wanted to be able to predict his behavior like before, when he used to just hit her. The physical violence was disturbing, although explainable, but emotions were more complex. They made everything difficult between them.
"Fine… Okay, you're right…" Elliot sighed heavily, not caring about her outburst. If she had ever done that a year ago, it would have landed her in the hospital, but Elliot was different now. He didn't mind Sage speaking her mind. He was determined to be the person he had been before, and that started with changing his attitude.
Elliot appeared to think for a moment, still looking apprehensive, before he slumped his shoulders in defeat when Sage's cold stare never ceased. He rested even further against the headboard, pulling one leg up to his chest so that he could throw his forearm on top of his knee. His story started slow, his expression emulating the one shown when he had told another tale a month before. By that look alone, Sage's stomach turned, knowing that nothing good would come from this.
"Your mother and I had a very… turbulent… relationship. Truthfully, I didn't like her, and she fell in love with me, but that was only because I made sure that she would… I took care of her and gave her everything she asked for, and the second that I put this ring on her finger was when I knew the deal was sealed."
Elliot stopped, thinking as he picked up the jewelry box and flipped it open and shut repeatedly. Sage waited for him to get to his point, none of his words actually surprising her. She had seen the way he treated her mother, and Julia had stopped expressing any love for the man way too late for her feelings to make a difference. As far as Sage knew, Julia let her dark emotions get the best of her, and she never stood up for herself, which lead to her eventual suicide; leaving Sage alone.
As she remained lifeless, simply watching Elliot and refusing to let any emotions take her over, Sage listened while he continued.
"I had you in my life for good, but I couldn't just hide the anger I carried… I took it out on her, and I felt bad, I really did…" Elliot sounded desperate for understanding, looking upset by the whole situation, but Sage gave him nothing, "… but I never stopped. I just couldn't control myself. Seeing you every day was supposed to make me relax, but it just agitated me… Time was moving too slow. I wanted to fast-forward to where you are now; a young woman… The wait, the guilt and frustration, ate away at me. It kept building and building, and everything Julia did pissed me off… I'd hit her, and then I would apologize, and she forgave me. We were in this sick cycle, one I had full control of, but then I hit her one too many times… She couldn't handle it. She wasn't strong like you are…"
Elliot paused to give her an expression that made bile rise in her throat. He was proud of her; proud of Sage for surviving him and the tests he gave her and himself. She didn't know whether or not to be pleased that she actually made it to this point. It was entirely hellish, but she was alive. She was still breathing, and that was something she wouldn't have been doing if she gave up. Elliot thought that it was just in her character, but Sage owed her strength to Kendall. He was the reason for everything she did since the day she met him in the ER, but Elliot would never know that. He could never understand the bond between Kendall and Sage, which he actually managed to improve with his brutal actions.
She still refused to give him any acknowledgement other than her eyes glaring into his own shifting ones, so Elliot continued with short breaths, stumbling over a few of his words. Sage knew that his confession was coming. She just never really expected it to be what it was.
"When you were thirteen, Julia decided she was going to leave me, but I couldn't let her take you… I worked too hard to get you only to watch her steal you away… I-I couldn't l-let you get a-away…" he looked at her pleadingly, remorse decorating his face with a small pout and glassy eyes.
"Oh my god…" Sage whispered, all of the air suddenly leaving her lungs and escaping in one big wave with a trembling sigh. Her chin hit her chest as she bent her head down, attempting to ground herself and breathe, while her hands rubbed at the thighs of her pants.
Julia died when Sage was thirteen. She committed suicide. That's what Sage thought after finding her body in the bathtub. It's what everyone thought, but they were wrong…
Elliot panicked, watching the transformation of Sage's face with wide eyes. He wanted to avoid this, but she asked him to be honest, and he couldn't deny her. He sat up, leaning forward to shorten the distance between them with a miserable countenance.
"I had to do it! She was going to separate us! I had to kill her!"
The confession, the actual words, made Sage clutch the sheets beneath her. She pivoted, planting her feet on the cold ground. She tried to keep breathing, but the air wouldn't come. She was hyperventilating.
Everything she ever thought about her deceased mother was a lie. She had experienced so many negative emotions when she was sure that Julia made the choice to leave her only daughter in this world with a monster. On the inside, and only ever on the outside to Kendall, she called her mother selfish and cruel for abandoning her for an eternal escape. She thought that Julia had decided to end her life and leave her timid daughter behind, but the young woman never had a choice. Elliot never gave anyone any leeway. He controlled everything.
Sage felt like the room was spinning as she stared at the lines in the grain of the wood beneath her. Her hands tangled into her blonde hair tightly, just trying to make everything feel more real. Suddenly, everything became too tangible. The way Elliot's large hand reached out to clasp her shoulder shocked her right into action.
She jumped up with a sob that reminded Elliot of the first night he raped her, and he felt almost as sick as she looked. It all had gotten so out of hand. He structured everything about Sage's life and his own, but now it felt like there was no organization. He couldn't predict anything anymore. He couldn't just make her give in to him no matter how much he wished she would. Sage's range of emotions, her ability to see him, scared Elliot beyond belief.
"How could you- What did you do to her?" Sage looked angry, shocking both of them. Around Elliot she usually resorted to fear, but he told her to be honest all the time, and she was tired of lying. She felt infuriated, and she wasn't going to keep holding onto her terror and not show it.
She bore her eyes right into Elliot, making him feel uncomfortable as he climbed off of the bed to stand in front of her, where she stood with an arm around her torso, seeming to be trying to hold herself together. Her other hand was balled into a fist at her side, and her legs shook beneath her.
"When she told me that she was going to leave town and take you with her, I begged her to stay. I eventually convinced her to stick around until she had a stable place to go. I told her I wouldn't fight her on it and that I'd even help her, but it was all lies… One day, while you were in school, I slipped her a few sleeping pills and put her in the tub… and then I slowly slit her wrists. It looked like a cut and dry suicide case. There was no investigation. I did it very carefully… I couldn't get caught, or you'd be left all alone…"
Elliot's eyes stung along with his chest, feeling the regret building up around his protected heart, but he pushed it down. He had gotten good at that. He was well practiced in blocking the unwanted emotions and amplifying the ones he coveted.
Sage covered her face with her hands, crouching down while still struggling to calm the nerves wracking her body. He was explaining just as she had asked, which she was regretting now, but none of it made sense. Elliot rarely did. He was insane, and she wasn't equipped with the tools or the mental stability of her own to deal with him. She just had to roll with the punches because she was trapped.
Life changed with captivity. The rules were different. Right and wrong were different. Coping required risks and unsettling behavior. Nothing was normal, and, in turn, normal reactions were considered absurd. Elliot and Sage lived entirely different lives deep inside the Hendersons' house; ones that many others would never understand.
"You're it for me, Sage. You're my only option. I couldn't let you leave me," Elliot elaborated, looking as if he was going to stretch his arm out to touch her, thinking it may console her, but he changed his mind before his hand even left his side. He didn't want to upset her even more.
He never wanted her to know any of this in the first place, but, with honesty, came the truth, no matter how much he wanted to fight it. When he decided to dive into this head first, with Sage kicking and screaming the entire way, Elliot knew that he was in for a battle. He had prepared for this, and he was sure he could handle it, but Sage made his mind and body do things that he had never done before. She was beyond anything he'd ever known. She was worth going to hell for, and he didn't have a clue why. His love for her just happened, and he would have felt stupid if he kept questioning it. He just jumped in with both feet and damned all of the consequences.
His concern turned to disbelief as he listened to Sage chuckle darkly, running a hand through her hair as she recovered from all of the emotional blows.
"I don't know why I'm even a little bit surprised. I should have seen this coming… You're a monster Elliot… You're nothing to me," she yelled at him viciously. She was still crying an occasional tear, moisture clouding her vision, but her whole visage radiated anger and hatred, making Elliot take a step back.
His heart ached beneath his ribs at her words, the new sentiments being declared so rapidly that he wasn't expecting them, but he recovered from the hurt quickly and replaced it with his own annoyance.
"Kendall would have done something just like it. We're no diff-"
Elliot's voice was cut off almost as soon as it began when Sage slapped him across the face.
The smack echoed throughout the room, silencing both Elliot and his stepdaughter. His cheek stung, and her hand burned from the force she had used, but she would have never taken it back, and Elliot seemed more shocked than anything else.
"Don't ever compare yourself to him. Kendall is nothing like you," her tone was severe and demanding, almost sending a chill up Elliot's spine. He never saw fire like that from her until he mentioned Kendall; the boy who always crawled under his skin even when he wasn't in the same state.
"That's where you're wrong, Sage. That's the one thing your brilliant mind never seems to comprehend," Elliot smiled, sounding cynical as he continued with Sage only staring at him incredulously. "You act like he's so much better than me! The annoying fuck wasn't exactly a saint when he beat the crap out of that Glickman kid," he announced, smirking at her like he had won the argument and enjoying the shock on her face when she realized he knew more than she thought about that day. Elliot always knew everything.
"Kendall would never kill someone," Sage insisted sternly, looking right into his brown eyes with as much hatred as she could.
"Oh, but he would," he held his stance firmly, trying to keep her eye contact so that she would know he was serious. "He would do it for you in a heartbeat, just like I did, and you know it…" Elliot's voice had softened, but the edge began to creep back. Kendall always agitated him more than Sage ever could. "He and I are so much alike, but he gets to be a god in your eyes, and I'm always the bad guy. Why can't you see that I'm just as good as him? Everything I do is for us… That's what he'd tell you, isn't it?"
Elliot coaxed her gently, watching her face fall. The anger was being replaced with torment. He stepped closer to her, lifting up his hand to caress her shoulder softly. Sage quickly shrugged him away, inhaling deeply.
"St-Stop trying to confuse m-me…" she ordered him weakly, squeezing her eyes shut at the torrent of memories and thoughts that invaded her head.
Elliot wasn't all wrong. His dialogue was twisted, but he wasn't lying. Kendall would absolutely kill for her if he needed to, and she knew it without a doubt, and the comparison to Elliot frightened her more than any physical intimidation. It threatened to damage the thick barrier she put between the two men. Kendall was supposed to literally be her knight in shining armor, and Elliot was supposed to only do things to hurt her. That's how it was designed to work, but nothing was what it once was. Kendall would never have harmed her mother like Elliot had, but even the slightest similarity he had with her stepfather disturbed her. It made Elliot seem too human for her liking. She wanted to keep Kendall high up on a pedestal, and there was no room there for her captor, but Elliot wouldn't stop trying to claw his way to the top. He was persistent, and Sage only became more helpless as the months passed.
"You know it's true, Sage…" he continued slowly, reaching out for her again. He made complete contact this time, running his hand down her pale arm. His palm brushed her fingers and then slithered back up to her elbow as he pulled himself towards her.
Sage cried, shaking her head and whining as she tried to struggle away from him, but her body wouldn't listen to her brain, which was clouded and dizzy with the events of the last several minutes. She just wanted to sleep, and she wanted Elliot gone.
"What do you want me to do?" Elliot whispered unsteadily, seeming to understand her condition, reading her mind easily. It only made her feel sicker.
"Leave me alone…" she mumbled faintly, still trying to squirm out of his delicate hold.
"Okay…" Elliot gave in, leaning down to kiss her temple before moving to walk past her. "I love you," he added calmly.
That ignited Sage once again, her new grief over Julia mixing with the frustration. She spun around and forced herself not to hit him again, knowing it would get them nowhere but also subconsciously pleased with the fact that he'd let her do it if she wanted to.
"Stop that! Stop saying you love me like it makes everything alright! You don't love me," she declared resolutely, thinking that it was the truth, but also understanding that love meant something different for him. Elliot thought they were soul mates, but Sage knew what that term really meant. She had Kendall.
"I do love you!" Elliot fought back, looking hurt at the accusation. He had done everything for his love, and hearing its existence being questioned was like punching him right in the gut. It's all he believed in, and no one, not even Sage, would ever convince him that it wasn't real.
"If you love me, you'll let me go," Sage contended, begging him with her eyes to make a move.
For just a moment, Elliot looked as though he was considering it, and hope coursed through her veins faster than her blood. She held her breath, only exhaling when the mere seconds of thought were over and he shook his head. The optimism left almost as soon as it arrived, and she inwardly kicked herself for letting it happen. Letting a single minute of good feelings take her over was a weakness. It all turned out bad in the end, and she came out more hurt than she had been before. Giving in to her unfortunate circumstances was easier. The fight was dying the more the despair set in, and all of her good memories started to dwindle away like a blissful dream that never really existed.
Katie faded. Karen faded. All that was left was Kendall. She forced herself to remember the very real way he touched her, and she stayed sane by hearing his voice whisper to her in times like these, telling her to be strong. She only continued to survive because of her soul mate, and sometimes that feeling; that feeling of epic importance, made her feel bad for Elliot. He would never have that given back to him.
"N-No… No, I can't do that. I need you here… You make me want to be better. The only reason all of this happened is because I wanted you," Elliot explained slowly, looking like he was talking more to himself, which he'd been doing a lot lately when Sage asked him the morally tough questions. "You're here now, and you're so good, Sage… You're an angel, Sweetie. You can make me good again… I can be good again… I want that so bad…" he murmured, reaching for her blindly as he shut his eyes, fighting off a headache from his own repressed memories and rage.
Sage stiffened, but didn't push him away when he held onto her forearms with a gentle grip.
"Please, Elliot…" she pleaded some more, watching him behave vulnerably and searching for an opening to get to him, but he just shook his head again and refused her request.
"I can't let you go. It would make everything worse… I dug this hole for myself, and we have to stay in it where it's safe… If I let you leave now, then seven years of work will be ruined… I can't handle that… I won't let that happen," Elliot's voice was solid but soft, reading the sadness on her face. "If I can't have you, then nothing will matter anymore, and I'm scared to see what that's like… It's better this way… It's better," he whispered his final words, his eyes slipping shut again in deep thought.
Sage bit her lip to keep from screaming, and watched with tired, watery eyes as Elliot looked at her with a content smile.
"I know how fucked up this is, but I'll make you see it differently. I'll make things good for you if you let me. I'll make you happy, Sage," he insisted, trying to get her to understand, but she wouldn't give in.
"You can't," she muttered abruptly, not even taking a second to consider his offer. She knew she could never be comfortable, let alone be happy with him.
"I'm still gonna try... It's the only option we have because you're staying… I'm s-sorry…" Elliot mumbled, rubbing her arms a couple times before pivoting around and walking to the door. "I love you… I'll leave you alone now…"
With that, he disappeared for the night, locking the door securely behind him, and Sage fell to the floor.
She drew her knees up to her chest and let herself cry. She had cried for Kendall and the Knights occasionally when she allowed herself to feel the pain, but now she had a whole new sorrow because of Elliot. Julia was murdered, and she had never gotten to know that. Every memory that lead up to her mother's death held new meaning now.
Over four years ago…
Sage finished striking a few notes on the piano with a grin, looking over to her mother for a critique once she had completed the song. Julia smiled brilliantly at her young daughter, who had just turned thirteen, and kissed the top of her head, rubbing her back as she embraced her with one arm and adjusted the sheet music in front of them with her free hand.
"You're getting better every day, Honey," Julia exclaimed excitedly, giving off a positive attitude towards the girl beside her.
"I'm okay…" Sage mumbled modestly, looking embarrassed by the compliment once it was spoken.
"You're perfect… I'm so proud of you. You're the best daughter ever," Julia declared happily, going in for a second kiss and delivering it to Sage's cheek before wiping the pink lipstick off of her daughter's pale skin.
Sage just rolled her eyes and giggled as she shoved her mother away playfully.
"What's wrong with you? You're acting like a nut," she insisted with a smile, watching the blonde woman beside her out of the corner of her eye while she tapped a few keys on the piano in a random pattern.
"Nothing… I'm just grateful for you. I'm lucky I have you, Sage," Julia spoke calmly, reaching up to brush a stray piece of hair behind the girl's ear.
Sage studied her suspiciously, a small smirk decorating her features with a furrowed brow. Her mother was normally loveable with her, but she was behaving oddly.
"I'm lucky to have you too, Mom," she gave up her quest for the answer, knowing that she wasn't going to get anywhere with the stubborn woman, and leaned into her warmth affectionately.
"Listen, Sweetie, I need to talk to you about something. I want us-"
Julia stopped speaking, upsetting her daughter, who was looking forward to the sudden discussion because they so rarely got time to spend with each other anymore, but Elliot was home, and that always changed everything.
"Good morning," he chirped joyfully, smiling at Julia and Sage as he stepped through the front door and swung it shut behind him.
The happy expression instantly had Sage feeling ill. Elliot was hardly ever in a good mood. More often than not, he was angry and tense whenever he was home with Julia and her daughter. His young bride's simple presence seemed to ignite frustration inside of him on a daily basis, and both Sage and her mother felt the effect of that every chance he got.
Julia had numerous faded bruises on her body, having gotten a reprieve from Elliot in the last couple of weeks for reasons unknown to Sage, but the needy woman never had it in her to leave. She needed Elliot's support and income, and she was unfortunately in love with the youthful police officer. Julia Daniels had gotten pregnant with Sage at the tender age of sixteen after a random night with a nameless guy, and she was left with no choice but to move out on her own and raise her daughter by herself. Her intensely religious parents wanted nothing to do with her. She was their embarrassment, so she left without looking back and picked a place on the map to disappear to. She picked Ramsey completely by chance and ended up living the rest of her years there.
She was struggling just to make ends meet by waiting tables and teaching piano without a high school diploma, and then Elliot moved to town when she was twenty-seven and changed her life. Sometimes it was for the better and sometimes it was for the worse. He gave her money, a place to live, and a stable home within the first several months of their whirlwind relationship, making her able to leave the rundown apartment her and Sage had been staying in. It seemed like Elliot truly loved her, but, soon after they got married, he began treating her differently. They argued and he hurt her physically more times than Sage could count, but Julia always told her to go to her room and ignore them. She always wanted her to be safe.
"H-Hi, I didn't realize what time it was," Julia forced a cordial smile onto her face, watching cautiously as Elliot moved through the foyer and into the living room by the piano. Mrs. Henderson started to count the minutes until Elliot went back to work. She had a few shaky hours ahead of her.
"Sage, you have school soon, right? I don't want you to be late," Elliot grinned at her shortly, ignoring his wife's words completely as he moved past Sage and patted her shoulder once before strolling down the hall towards the kitchen.
"I'm leaving in a minute," she called out after him, not sure if he wanted an actual response or not but unwilling to take any chances and ruin his mood by aggravating him. She stared at her mother after Elliot was out of earshot and shared a knowing look with the frightened woman. "What did you want to talk about?"
Julia seemed to consider answering her for a second, but then she looked away with a nervous smile once she heard Elliot moving around in the kitchen.
"Don't worry about it. We can just discuss it another time…" she smiled scratching the back of her head lightly with the tips of her manicured nails before changing the subject. "When are you gonna let me hear the stuff you've been writing?" she wondered enthusiastically, turning her full attention back to her daughter.
"When I'm good and ready," Sage smirked, teasing her mother with a poke to the woman's ribs.
"Come on, Sage! You never share… I wanna hear how amazing you are," Julia pouted, swatting her daughter's hands away from her.
"Why do you assume that I'm any good?" Sage asked, looking as if she doubted herself and Julia's belief in her. Her mother just smiled, shaking her head slowly.
"Because you're my daughter. You can do no wrong."
That was the last time Sage saw Julia alive. She left for school shortly after they hugged, and she later came home to find her mother bloody and lifeless in the second floor bathroom.
She had always thought that she had done something wrong; that maybe, if she had pushed her mother to talk instead of letting her dodge the subject, Julia wouldn't have decided to take her own life. New circumstances, however, made all of her preconceived notions shift. The last memory of Julia held a different meaning. She was going to tell Sage about her plan to leave. She was going to give her hope and a way out.
Elliot ruined all of that. He took everything away from her. Kendall, Katie, and Karen were gone. Julia was gone, and he was completely responsible for their absence. He really had done a good job at achieving his goal. He was all she had left.
Sage sat on the floor and leaned against the bed, rubbing the tears from her tired eyes. She turned and reached back, searching on top of the mattress for the abandoned ring box. She picked it up quickly and settled down again, flipping it open to examine the jewelry inside.
As much as she hated where it had come from and the intention behind its purchase, Sage wanted to keep it. She wouldn't wear it, but just having it in her hand made her feel a little calmer when she thought of her mother. After her "suicide", Elliot had gotten rid of any physical items that belonged to or reminded them of Julia. The photos were gone. Her piano was gone. Julia was gone, but Sage had this ring.
She clicked the box shut with a loud snap and stood up on trembling legs. Sage walked over and placed it on her desk, where she'd be able to see it if she felt like writing. She never did anymore, but it may serve as an inspiration, or it may at least be a comfort she didn't have before.
Sage sat down in the chair, laying her head against the chilled surface of the desk and thinking about everything she had been through. She thought things could have been so different with a slight change here or there in the timeline of her life, but, in this same train of thought that made her feel bitter, she also felt a spark of thankfulness.
Without Elliot, she would have never met Kendall or the Knight family. Maybe he still would have moved to Ramsey when he did, but Sage would have been a different person. They wouldn't have needed each other as much. Her unfortunate circumstances are what cemented their relationship into the tight, unbreakable bond that it was, and she couldn't help but feel grateful for that. In a tragic occurrence of irony, Elliot's twisted love is what made Sage find it in its true form with Kendall, and she never wanted to take that back for anything.
She couldn't decide whether it was coincidence or fate that lead to everything. She hated to think that her destiny was to be in this room right now, but she had to hold onto the idea that, if it was fate's work, then there must be something else in store for her too. Though, perhaps, it was all coincidence. Maybe a string of random events linked together somewhere down the line and placed her here. If Elliot had hurt her wrist just a day earlier or later, she would never have met Kendall in the hospital.
Whether it was coincidence or fate that brought her here, Sage knew one thing for sure. Even if it all dragged her to this moment, to this hell with Elliot, she'd do it again and again. Maybe it was her calling in life, but it was her honest decision too. She'd always choose Kendall, no matter what that meant.
She missed her mother more than ever, but she had dealt with her grief years ago. Although the details surrounding her death were altered now, Julia was still gone, and she had to work with that and hold onto the little things she had left.
Sage lost her mother. She was taken from her, and she couldn't forgive Elliot for killing her. It was inexcusable, but Elliot wasn't just a murderer. Sometimes he was good, and sometimes he was evil, but the real problem was that he was everything in between too. She wasn't sure how she was going to handle that.
"Merry Christmas, boys… I figured I'd say it one more time before bed," Karen smiled slyly at James, Kendall, Carlos, and Logan as she put a tray of hot chocolate on the coffee table in front of them.
They all sat around in the Knight's living room, dressed in their pajamas. They had officially reinstated their tradition of wearing them in the evening after they spent Christmas day with their families. The boys filed in after dinner, immediately changing their clothes and plopping down in front of the television and Christmas tree. They had started having the annual holiday sleepover ever since their first year together in kindergarten, and the quartet never stopped until they became a trio after Kendall moved away. Now, they were happily jumping back into their childhood.
"Are those real diamonds, Mama Knight?" Carlos asked excitedly, noticing the circular pendant shimmering around her neck as it caught the light when she was shifting things on the table so the tray would fit safely.
"Why, yes they are! Thank you for noticing, Carlos," Karen spoke in an overly dramatic tone, donning a brilliant smile and tilting her head towards her son, who only raised an eyebrow in defiance and grabbed a mug of cocoa. The rest of the boys looked on in confusion, sensing tension from an earlier unknown conversation between the mother and son.
"Yeah, yeah, we all saw the small fortune around your neck. I'm a dude. There's no way I'm pointing out a piece of jewelry that some douche gave you to get on your good side," Kendall declared spitefully, sipping his drink and glaring over the cup at his mother, who stayed in a good mood.
They had discussed Karen dating recently, and Kendall wasn't pleased at all by the idea. He didn't like the thought of letting a strange man into the lives of his loved ones. That hadn't worked out so well for Sage…
"Don't call David names… You're not allowed to do that until you meet him," Karen grinned, knowing that Kendall had refused her earlier offer at an introduction with a stubborn shake of his head and a few choice words.
"Not gonna happen," Kendall assured her in a sweet voice, his sarcastic expression betraying the tone. Karen merely rolled her eyes and strolled off into the kitchen to tidy up before bed.
"Who's David?" James asked first, sharing a smile with Carlos and Logan as he leaned forward to take his own drink off of the table. He cradled it in his hands and watched Kendall for an answer, but Katie chimed in before he could.
"He's Mom's kinda-sorta-sometimes-maybe boyfriend," she explained nonchalantly from her position on the floor by the tree, where she sat texting one of her friends rapidly. She didn't even look up at the guys when the conversation had started. She wasn't too affected by her mother dating; trusting Karen to make the right decision, but Kendall was going to remain obstinate.
"That was oddly specific, yet not helpful at all," Logan commented smartly, cocking his head to the side in confusion before reaching out to grab a cookie, tossing one to Carlos as the boy spoke loud enough for Karen to hear down the hall in the kitchen.
"You should make him your real-definitely-always-absolutely boyfriend… He gave you a pretty gift! He totally likes you!" Carlos yelled happily, nibbling on his cookie with a smile of gratitude towards Logan. They heard Karen thank him as she started to load the dishwasher.
"Or he just wants to get in her pants…" James muttered into his cup of hot chocolate, causing Carlos and Logan to stifle laughter, while Katie giggled, and Kendall looked offended.
"Ew!" He cried out, punching his uncouth friend on the shoulder with enough force to rock him into Logan, who just shoved him back towards Kendall. James scowled at them both, telling them to knock it off, and composed himself.
"I'm just saying. Getting something like that is a classic romantic move that almost demands intimate action," he shrugged and sounded like he knew what he was talking about.
Kendall frowned, thinking about his statement. His mind immediately drifted off towards the previous Valentine's Day when he gave Sage the necklace that now hung on the bedpost in his room. He had given it to her with love, but, before the exchange, they also had steamy sex in the alley at school…
"Mom, give that man his necklace back!" Kendall screamed angrily, not moving from the couch as he gripped his mug tighter.
"No…" Karen answered simply as she came back into view. "Time for bed, Katie," she gestured for her daughter to follow her up the stairs. Katie murmured grumpily as she sent one final text to her friend and pulled herself off of the floor, walking past Karen to the staircase. "Goodnight, guys," Karen spoke softly, moving over to the couch to deliver a kiss to the top of each boy's head and behaving motherly towards them all.
That had always been her role in their pseudo family. She was a mother figure to each of them, not just to Kendall. She was the only woman, even in most of his childhood, that James let himself rely on. Logan could cry around her and behave like a normal kid without fear of stressing Laura out, and Carlos loved the woman because of her warmth, which reminded him of Adriana when he wasn't at his own home.
"Bye, Mama Knight!" the three of them rang out simultaneously, having had much practice in getting it just right. Kendall kept his look of annoyance, but kissed and hugged Karen back with a relenting smile as she drifted off to the second floor with Katie.
"What's your problem with David? He sounds nice," Logan wondered, finishing his cookie and finally taking his cocoa off of the table, which he always preferred room temperature.
"All we know is that he has some money and gave her an expensive gift, and they met at work," Kendall maintained his stubborn stance, leaning forward to put his mug down and curl his legs further beneath him.
"Did you ask for any more information, or did you just jump down your mom's throat about it?" Carlos smirked knowingly, forgoing his hot chocolate for another cookie.
"He doesn't need to know anything else other than the fact that he's courting Mama Knight. That's more than enough to hate the guy," James offered his opinion, bumping his fist against Kendall's when it was offered with a delighted smile.
"You should give him a chance," Carlos declared cheerfully, shoving a whole cookie into his mouth. He got a disapproving look from Logan for his eating habits, but the cleanly boy still nodded his agreement at his friend's statement. "David could be an awesome guy. He could be like Superman or something," Carlos added after swallowing his snack.
"Or he could be a pig, which he most likely is. Trust me, I know about these guys. I'm one of them," James admitted nonchalantly, realizing that his adventurous love life was no secret between the four of them.
Kendall groaned beside him at the possibility of his mother dating someone like James, who reassured him with a pat to his shoulder.
"Don't worry, Dude. I'll help you get rid of him… or we have to at least check him out thoroughly and decide the best way to learn his true motives," James sounded like he was already formulating a plan, which seemed to excite Kendall.
"What if he has good motives?" Logan asked in exasperation, quickly seeing that he and Carlos were on the opposite side of the dispute. "You just don't want a new dad, do you?" he stared cautiously at Kendall, who shook his head and rolled his eyes.
"Of course that idea is freaky, but he would never really be my dad anyway. I already have one of those. Well, I had one of those…" Kendall corrected himself quietly, gaining a depressing expression before he pushed it away. He had coped with the loss of his father long ago, and it was easier to deal with once he had accepted it with the help of his brothers. "I'm more worried about Mom and Katie. I can't just let some guy walk into their lives with promises of good things, and then watch something shitty happen that destroys them," Kendall explained softly, understanding that they all knew he was thinking about Elliot.
"You keep assuming the worst," Logan mumbled, appearing upset by the thought. He glanced down, grabbing a pillow off of the floor after putting his mug down. He played with the edges of the fabric nervously. All of the boys were instantly concerned.
"What's wrong, Logie?" Carlos asked, reaching to his side to make his anxious friend's fingers stop working the pillow into devastation. Kendall and James forgot about their plans for David and immediately turned to Logan, who sighed heavily.
"I've been thinking about calling Patrick," he admitted sheepishly, already anticipating the reactions of Kendall and James.
The day that Laura had given him his father's number on Thanksgiving weekend was the same day he told all of his friends about it. Carlos had been supportive of him making his own decision, but Kendall and James had rightful opinions of their own. They didn't want Logan to give Patrick a second chance. They were scared for their friend's physical and emotional safety. They all knew what Mr. Mitchell had done, and they also knew that Logan could be easily forgiving.
"I thought you said that you decided not to…" James spoke quietly, running a hand through his brown hair, messing up its carefully planned style.
"I did, but I don't know. It's just been on my mind. I keep wondering what he's up to, and what he's like… I wonder if he's sorry…" Logan murmured sadly, going back to playing with the pillow when Carlos didn't stop him again.
"He should be! Of course the bastard's sorry, Logan… He was a terrible person, and that means you should keep him away. He has no right to know you," Kendall held his position firmly, becoming aggravated with thoughts of the man who almost destroyed his brother's childhood.
"You're just thinking about him because you're a good person, Buddy. He's not. You don't need that," James insisted calmly, smiling over at Logan and ruffling his hair playfully, for once feeling like he was taking care of him and not the other way around. Logan grinned for the first time in several minutes, and laughed lightly at the gesture.
"I guess you're right, guys. I was just thinking about it. I'll get rid of his number later," he assured them with a nod, happy to see them instantly thrilled at the idea. He knew they were just trying to protect him, but he couldn't stop the little pang of guilt in his heart. He wasn't so sure he could actually throw out Patrick's information.
"Good. Who wants popcorn?" Kendall jumped up from the couch, thinking the matter was settled, and received three hands in the air. "James, come help me," he called out as he disappeared into the hallway. James grumbled in annoyance, but he followed anyway.
Once they were gone, Carlos studied Logan, still seeing the look of internal turmoil on his face.
"They're just trying to keep you safe, but it's your choice, Logie, no one else's," Carlos wrapped an arm around him in a sideways hug, squeezing him tightly until he got a smile from the boy.
"Thanks, Carlos," Logan leaned into him a little, accepting the hug, and then reached back down for his cocoa. Carlos started occupying himself with more cookies, and Logan began thinking.
He wanted to know Patrick, but sometimes he thought James and Kendall were right. His father had done nothing to earn an invitation back into his life, but Logan was curious. He wondered if Patrick changed. The last time he saw him, his father was high and acting rashly, and then he just walked right out of his life for good. It had taken Logan a few weeks to realize he wasn't coming back.
Almost eleven years ago…
"Logan, I want you to come with me," Patrick Mitchell walked up to his seven-year-old son with shifting eyes and a pale complexion.
He was in withdrawal, but Logan was too young to know that. He was too young to know much of anything.
He, Kendall, Carlos, and James were enjoying a snow day in the middle of winter. They were the only ones in the neighborhood who were out in the late afternoon, messing around on the snow-covered playground at the end of Kendall and Logan's block. They were giggling and throwing balls of slush at each other when Mr. Mitchell suddenly pulled up in his car, which he ended up running into one of the trashcans at the edge of the property.
The boys were instantly on guard, knowing that Patrick had been losing it lately, but Logan only looked innocent and scared as his father approached them.
"What about Mom?" Logan asked softly, taking a small step back when Patrick finally stood in front of them, constantly wringing his hands together and looking around the playground with dull blue eyes. Laura was supposed to pick him up when it was time to go home, not Patrick, and it was still early.
"She doesn't care about us… She doesn't want me to do what makes me happy. That doesn't sound fun, does it, Buddy?" Patrick attempted a smile, but winced as he crouched down in front of his son, still trying to reach out for his small hand.
After they knew about the drugs, Laura and the Mitchells' friends wanted him to stop. He had slowly destroyed his own family with his addiction to painkillers. It all started so simply. He had injured his hand after dealing with a hallucinating patient during his shift in the ER at Sherwood's local hospital, and he started to take painkillers so he could recover quickly and work through it. Hydrocodone and OxyContin were his drugs of choice. His behavior became violent and erratic when he couldn't have the pills, and Laura and Logan felt the effects of that repeatedly.
Right now, Laura and Patrick had just had an intense fight, and Patrick wanted to leave, but he wouldn't go without Logan. Even when he was high or in need of a dose, Patrick could remember how much his son meant to him, but he couldn't always control his actions and decisions. The drugs made him a different person, one he couldn't run from.
Logan shook his head at father, showing that he understood he was upset at his mother, but he didn't move towards him anymore.
"B-But I don't w-wanna leav-"
"Shut up," Patrick groaned and grabbed Logan harshly by the wrist, losing his patience almost as quickly as it came. His moods were all over the place. "Just, please, stop talking… You're giving me a headache… I'm your father… Just do what I say…" Patrick commanded him, keeping his grip tight on the boy's thin wrist and constantly squeezing his eyes shut as if he was trying to stay focused. He couldn't stop thinking about how he could get his hands on more pills.
"I'm going to get my dad. Stay here. Don't let him take Logan," Kendall whispered to James and Carlos, who were both standing near the seesaw and watching everything unfold with wide eyes. They nodded to Kendall, who instantly ran off with a determined expression to make the small trek to his house.
"Okay, D-Daddy… Sorry…" Logan mumbled, trying to please Patrick, who always seemed to be upset around him lately.
"That's my boy… You love me, don't you, Little Man?" Patrick asked, putting a smile back on his face that only made his son give in easier.
"Of course!" Logan yelled, thinking that any other answer was ridiculous. He loved his father more than anything. He wanted to be just like him.
"Then come on," Patrick sighed, looking around the playground again as if he forgot where he put his car. It was still sitting on top of a trashcan with the engine running and the driver's door open.
Logan started to let his father drag him towards the vehicle, but he dug his feet into the ground when he heard Carlos and James.
"Logie, I don't think you should go…" Carlos yelled, rushing towards him through the thick snow with James at his side.
"Just wait for Kendall's dad," James begged him with worried hazel eyes, slipping to a stop only a few feet from Logan and Patrick.
"Ignore them, Logan," the man ordered his son sternly, trying to tug him away from the pair.
"They're my friends!" Logan screamed back, getting angry at Patrick for once.
"They're not your family. They don't matter," Patrick growled, spinning on his heels to glare down at the little boy, who was starting to frustrate him.
"Yes, they do!" Logan insisted loudly, his innocent face turning deadly at the implication of his best friends not being important.
Patrick didn't hesitate as he swung his arm back and struck Logan across the cheek, instantly silencing the child as tears built up in his eyes. He had hit him before, but Logan was confused every time it happened. He never understood why he deserved it.
James and Carlos were immediately angry as they lunged forward to start fighting the man despite their size, but stopped when they heard Kendall's dad.
"What the hell are you doing, Pat?" Kevin Knight shouted, running through the snow with a scowl as Kendall sped past him. With his cancer treatments, Kevin had been losing strength, and his young son could easily outrun him.
Kendall resisted the urge to kick Mr. Mitchell as he grabbed a crying Logan's hand snugly with his own and pulled him to James and Carlos so they could all huddle around their brother.
"You should leave," Kevin told Patrick, coming to stand next to the ill man with his arms crossed over his chest, leaving no room for an argument, but Patrick shook his head.
"I'm not going without my son," he insisted, his expression turning painful when he began to look around for Logan like he lost him. He spotted the small boy holding onto his friend's and staring at him with wide eyes and a red cheek. He took one step towards him, but Kevin held up a hand to his chest to stop him from moving.
"You're scaring your son, but you're too fuckin' high to see it… You need to go… You need to get help," Kevin lowered his voice, taking his hand away to pull his wool cap tighter over his head. His recently deteriorating body was sensitive to the cold, but there was no way he wasn't going to come running when Kendall said they needed him.
"I don't need help. I'm fine," Patrick shook his head wildly, trying to convince his friend, but he still wasn't buying it.
"You're so far from fine that you make me wanna vomit more than the chemo," Kevin spat viciously, looking disgusted with the man.
"Don- Don't joke about that, Kev… It's not funny. You're trying to change my mind, but it won't- It's not gonna w-work," Patrick was suddenly depressed as he looked at the eldest Knight.
He and Kevin had been best friends ever since their sons met two years earlier. They spent all of their recreational time together, and it was a big blow to everyone when Kevin was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. It was detected too late for comfort, and the doctors, including Patrick, were doing the best they could to manage his case, but he was rapidly getting worse. They kept up with the chemotherapy and radiation treatments, but surgery was a risky option because of the tumor placement and size. Kevin Knight was preparing to die, and everyone else had to be ready for it too. Patrick wasn't handling it well, and he used his friend's illness as an excuse to self-medicate.
"If you're not gonna do it for me, then do it for Logan…" Kevin pleaded gently, knowing that Patrick's weak spot was his son no matter how out of control he got.
"I'll hurt him like I hurt- I hurt Laura…" he whispered it like it was a secret, but everyone already knew what he did, and he couldn't ever take it back. Out of misguided love and devotion, Laura didn't press charges because of his violence. She kept giving him chances to change. He used to be a practical and intelligent man, but he wouldn't listen to her when he was like this.
"Then just go, and don't come back until Logan's safe again… If you don't do it on your own, I'm gonna call Eddie," Kevin warned him, referring to Carlos' father, a family friend.
Out of the corner of his eye, Kevin could see Carlos nodding his head vigorously, wanting him to get the police involved because he was taught that they solved everything, but Kevin wanted to let Patrick decide. He wanted him to choose recovery.
Patrick thought hard for a minute, considering the offer. He glanced over to Logan with a pained expression, not seeming to believe that he had hit him again. Every time he struck Logan or his wife, it shocked him. It was like a nightmare that he couldn't wake up from. His son was crying, shivering with his friends, and Patrick made his decision.
"Logan, Baby, come here…" he called out to him softly, his voice hoarse from yelling and his stomach cramping with the need for more drugs, but he pushed all those feelings aside for once.
Logan struggled in Kendall's grasp. The small blonde was giving Patrick a death glare with his arms wrapped securely around his brother. Even at seven years old, Kendall's stare could drop you to your knees. He was fierce, loyal, and protective, and you didn't ever want to be on the wrong end of that devotion.
Much to Kendall and the boys' dismay, Logan squirmed free and hurried over to his father. His body was hesitant, but he went anyway, putting trust in Patrick that he didn't deserve.
"Kendall's daddy is right, Buddy… I'm gonna- I have to go…" he admitted confidently, keeping his tone gentle for the boy. He struggled to stay focused, the withdrawal still messing with his head and body.
"Don't! You have to stay… Please, stay…" Logan cried harder, becoming panicked at the idea of his father leaving him. He scared him sometimes, but Logan loved him regardless.
"No, I can't be here anymore… not until I'm healthy again," Patrick insisted softly, crouching down in front of Logan again so they could be at eyelevel.
"But you're fine! Mr. Knight is the one who's sick, right?" he asked naively, looking up to Kevin for confirmation, but he only received a small smile of pity and support. "You're a doctor," Logan declared, seeming to think that his profession made him invincible.
"I'm not sick like that, Loganator," Patrick assured him using one of his nicknames, hoping to calm him down. He lifted his hand to wipe some snow from Logan's dark hair as he thought. "I'm just kind of… broken… and I gotta put myself back together again."
"Do it here!" Logan begged sadly, stretching his tiny hands out to grab onto the fabric of Patrick's jacket.
"I can't…" his father mumbled, looking apologetic as he carefully removed Logan's fingers from his clothing and stood up. "Keep your mom happy. She deserves it, okay? Be there for her," he ordered him delicately, bending forward to kiss the top of Logan's head.
"When will you be back?" he asked innocently, hoping that it would only be a day or two.
"Not for a while… Not until I'm better… I love you, Logan. You're a good boy. It's not your fault," he murmured serenely, kissing Logan one more time before he spun around and rushed for his car.
"Dad! Dad, wait! I can help you not be sick! Just stay!"
Logan cried, taking a few steps to go after him, but Patrick wasn't looking back, and Kevin placed a hand on his shoulder to keep him still. He rubbed the sobbing boy's neck, trying to calm him down while watching Kendall, Carlos, and James immediately run to their friend's side. They gathered him into their group, telling him that it would be alright, but he still cried loudly, trying to get Patrick's attention as he wordlessly got into his car.
"Daddy!"
Late into Christmas night, all of the boys were asleep except for Logan.
Kendall was cuddled up on part of the large L-shaped couch with a throw pillow tucked under his head. James had ended up on the empty length of the sofa with his hands lying over his abdomen, and Carlos was resting on the floor almost completely beneath the tree, always enjoying the multicolored lights of the season. It was 2AM, but Logan was wide awake. He sat on the carpet by the coffee table, playing with a small card between his fingers.
It was Patrick's number, and, even after he decided he wasn't going to dial it, the mere thought of contacting his father kept him awake. The curiosity alone was killing him, but he also felt something tugging at his heart. It might have been hope; hope for something different from Patrick, or hope for a second chance at having a dad.
Maybe everything would hurt him in the end, but he wanted to take that risk. He had to do it.
Logan sighed, looking at his slumbering friends one last time before quietly getting up and sneaking up the stairs. He entered Kendall's room stealthily, smiling once at the pendant hanging on the corner of the bed as he always did when he had thoughts of Kendall and Sage's imminent reunion, and then he went back to his original task. He kneeled beside the bed, searching through the bag of stuff he had brought over to spend the night.
He pulled out his cell phone and sat on the floor, holding it tightly in one hand and the card in the other. Patrick was probably sleeping, but he didn't care. The man owed him more than just an inconvenient wakeup call.
He dialed the number with shaking fingers and held the phone to his ear. It took a few rings, but a groggy voice picked up on the other end with a simple "hello". Logan swallowed the lump in his throat, clearing it and pulling his legs close to his body with nervousness.
"Hi… It's, uh- I know it's really late, but it's… I'm- It's Logan."
Logan lost his father. Patrick left him in tears, but maybe he'd be able to get him back. People changed. They weren't always virtuous or bad. Sometimes they were somewhere in between. Maybe Logan could forgive his dad, but he wasn't sure how he and his friends were going to handle that.
A/N: Next chapter, we'll be seeing Logan and Patrick… I wonder what the aftermath of that will be, and how will his friends react? ;D
A super huge THANK YOU to all of those who voted for "Past the Sorrow" in the "2011 BTR Fanfic Awards" by ComeOnClapYourHands. I'm so thankful to say that it WON for "Best OC Story":D It's really a great honor that you guys enjoy this fic so much. It makes all of the hard work I put into it even more worth it. I hope you keep loving it :D We still got a LONG way to go :D Sit back and enjoy ;)
Please REVIEW and let me know what you thought of this :D As usual, anonymous reviews are enabled :) I LOVE new people :D Say hi. I don't bite ;)