Post it Notes
Chapter 24 Thinking
It was the usual. The room was rowdy, the students had their phones out, a few boys were playing cards and others were gossiping, whilst girls applied the last bit of makeup for the morning. Kakashi was perched at his desk, his porn book flipped open as he read.
A soft breeze was filtering into the room through the back, tickling Sasuke's neck from where he sat. Everyone was in their usual seats, well apart from Kiba and Shikamaru. Upon Kiba's insistence they'd swapped, so the dog lover was now sitting by Sasuke. Much to his annoyance. Any other day, Sasuke would tolerate Kiba and perhaps even entertain him.
Today was not a usual day though.
In fact, it hadn't been a usual day for three weeks.
Three weeks. Three weeks and no notes. He'd received absolutely no post it notes.
It was driving him up the wall. He would toss and turn at night, trying to work out why exactly he hadn't received any. His mind, on several occasions, went back to the letter he'd received. Did he have to work out the riddle? Was that it? Would he then get the post it?
Grunting in annoyance, Sasuke rubbed his forehead as he once again imagined there was a wall between him and Kiba. The dog lover had been pestering him since this morning about the very same fact. If Sasuke didn't know why he wasn't getting the damned post it notes, then what made Kiba think that if he kept pestering him then he'd miraculously come up with the answer?
Then again, shouldn't he be happy that he wasn't receiving them? It meant less stress in his life. …Yet, the very fact that he wasn't getting the post it notes was putting more stress in his life. How the fuck did that work out?
Very little things made sense in Sasuke's head nowadays.
He'd got these post its at the beginning of term. What for? He didn't know. One day it would be a riddle. He would have to solve the riddle in order to get the next post it, which would then be a quote. It was as if it was a test and with each question he got right a reward would be given. It had caused him to fall out with his friends. It had caused him to quit the basketball team-
'That was your own choice, y'know?'
"Shut up."
"-oh, come on, man! Playing the ignorant card is getting dull!" Kiba complained, narrowing his eyes at the Uchiha "Okay, sure, you haven't got any post its, yet isn't that a relief?"
Sasuke rolled his eyes, resting his chin on his palm.
It should be but it wasn't and that was what was infuriating him the most.
Sighing, Kiba tapped absently on the table in thought before asking "Well, have you thought anymore on the letter you received?"
Sasuke's shoulders sagged at the thought. The damned letter had been the bane of his life. It was innocently sitting at his desk, amongst his other unfinished homework which was slowly creeping from a Leaning Tower of Pisa into Mount Everest itself, and he'd read it over and over. He just couldn't understand it.
Why had PIN changed the game? Was this a game? If it was a game, it had to have a point to it, an ending of some sort, right? It wouldn't make sense if it didn't. Had PIN changed it up because Sasuke had advanced to the next level? What was the next level? Why were the post it notes changing? Were the riddles staying the same or were the quotes changing? Apparently that riddle was the answer.
Kiba had told him to just play along; he had been for the past three weeks. He wanted some answers and he wasn't getting any.
He'd thought about consulting Google, to just make it that much easier on himself, yet each time he brought himself to do it he couldn't. It was like a mental force was pulling him back; telling him this was the cowardly way of doing things. All he had to do was think. It was like answering one of Kakashi's blasted surprise pop quizzes. It couldn't be that hard. Kakashi's quizzes were like taking a walk in the park mind, then again…pretty much all of the lessons he had were like that. So why couldn't he just think? That was all he had to do. Think.
Suddenly, that seemed impossible.
He was an Uchiha, a genius. The amount of money spent on him to have that extra tuition. God almighty, had it all been for nothing? Why the hell couldn't he use that brain of his now of all times? Was he going through a growth stunt? No, he didn't think so…was that even possible anyway?
Coal eyes narrowed in thought, a sigh escaping as frustration began to simmer in the pit of his stomach. His mind could only think of one thing.
PIN
If they'd caught PIN when they'd had the chance then none of this would be happening. They could all get on with their lives and everything would be just dandy. Except Sasuke wouldn't.
It had been a hook, line and pull for him. These post it notes had become a part of his life, much to his annoyance. He was going to see this through to the end, whether he wanted to or not. A part of him did want to see it through, to meet this PIN and get his answers. If he finally got his answers then he could forget all about this couldn't he? How easy it seemed.
Sasuke couldn't help but think that maybe it wasn't. Was he in too deep? The post it notes had literally taken over his life. All he thought about were them. When he went to bed, he thought about them, when he woke up he was unconsciously thinking about them. He wouldn't be surprised if he dreamt about them too.
How had something so small, so insignificant, become such a massive problem in Sasuke's life?
They were just post it notes, with silly little words written on them in that stupid handwriting that he was sure he'd seen before but still. Why did they create these mixed emotions inside of him? They were like, they were like…
Sasuke rubbed his face, trying to relax as his brain continued this mental anguish.
Yet a sudden thought blared painfully in his mind, a thought that fell like a gigantic wave crashing down upon him. His heart clenched, squeezing him tightly as if trying to get him to think about this very point. Like the tide being pulled back, the wave retreated. What it left behind though, was a mess.
Not once. Not once could Sasuke recall a time during these past three weeks. Not once and that was what was so surprising. How could he not have thought about that?
He hadn't had one thought about Naruto.
It rocked his very core.
The wave once again churned and rose, before tumbling down, once again giving him an icy shock.
How could he not have thought about her? He thought about her every god damned day. Yet, these post it notes had for a small time taken away the pain, the anguish, the loneliness, the reality of it all. They'd taken her away from him.
He felt repulsed at that idea.
He couldn't forget her, not when she was so close-
"-Hey, man, are you alright?"
Jumping slightly in shock, Sasuke blinked. Reality came surging back to him and he realised exactly where he was now. He was at school, currently in form and he was hunched over his table, his head resting against the smooth, cool surface. What the fuck?
His fingers were gripping the edge of the table as if it were a life line. What tasted like bile was at the back of his throat; his tongue was as rough as sandpaper as he finally uncurled his fingers from their hold. Sinking back into his seat, coal eyes quickly roamed over the room. No one was looking apart from Kiba. Good, he hadn't caused a scene or drawn unwanted attention towards himself.
Turning his head slightly, he met the worried chocolate eyes of Kiba.
"Hey, are you alright?" the brunette whispered, leaning forward as he studied the Uchiha.
Sasuke simply sat there, his arms feeling like a dead weight. It was like they'd forgotten how to move, his hands remained on his lap. What…what had just happened? What had caused him to be hunched over the desk? All he'd been doing was…
…Thinking.
His mind suddenly casted back to his first day back at Konoha High, that very morning he'd been doing the exact same thing. It had been the reason why he'd sat down with his mum at some silly time in the morning having cocoa, why he'd only had so little sleep, why he'd been in a foul mood and so grumpy with everyone. The shower, the danger zone. It was like he was back in the shower and those thoughts were surging forward at him. Yet this time, they weren't thoughts of her. They were thoughts of those post its.
What had happened to him?
These post it notes were going to ruin him.
"Sasuke?"
Swallowing, a lump beginning to form in his throat, Sasuke hastily stood up, grabbing his bag as he muttered "I'm going to the medical room."
"O-Oh, okay…well, text me later, alright?" Kiba called out from behind him, yet he ignored the request.
He knew eyes were following him as he left the room, he knew he should've told Kakashi at least where he was going. Yet, he was sure the silver haired teacher knew already.
"S-Sasuke, what a surprise to see you here…" Umino Iruka greeted as he opened his office door. He'd currently been on a small coffee break, seeing as it was this early in the morning he didn't have any of his meetings with students yet. The last time he'd attempted to talk to Sasuke it had been…challenging to say the least. The teen had only spoken when he'd decided it was necessary, he'd never given a lot of detail to his answers when questioned and it had left the conversation between the two of them awkward to say the least.
So, seeing the raven haired boy coming to him was a surprise. Iruka had thought that he'd be the one chasing the boy down and dragging him to his office if need be. So, yes, it was a shock but a pleasant one at that.
Smiling warmly, Iruka stepped back to let the boy in. With a gesture of his arm, prompting the Uchiha, he uncertainly stepped into the room. Turning to his timetable for the day, Iruka checked down his list, wondering if he could reorganise it. He shouldn't really reorganise his timetable, especially considering it was now set for the day and reception would give him hell for it, yet this was a rare opportunity.
Scribbling out a name, he quickly made a note before asking "Do you mind if I quickly hand this to reception? I'll be back in one moment, if that's alright?"
Coal eyes flickered up briefly, before pale lips answered "Sure."
Nodding, Iruka grabbed the list and headed out of the office. On his way to reception, his mind couldn't help but wander over to the student. God, he should've seen the boy sooner than this. The way he looked told Iruka that there was a lot more going on with the boy then he'd like to let on. Well, it was just something he was going to have to crack down on.
After handing in the note with an apologetic smile to the moody receptionist, Iruka made a detour before striding back to his office with determination. Grasping hold of the handle awkwardly, he pushed the door open with a question brimming at his lips.
"How about some hot cocoa?"
What had seemed like an innocent question to Iruka had brought undoubted anguish and turmoil to the raven haired boy. His eyes had clenched shut at the sight.
Was he not a big fan of cocoa or something?
Placing the mugs down on the coffee table, Iruka sat back down in his own seat opposite the Uchiha. Taking a sip, the hot liquid soothing his throat, the brunette sat back in his seat.
Sighing softly, the therapist looked over the teenager. His jet black hair, which was usually styled, was tousled and sticking up oddly as if he'd been running his hands through it too often. His uniform was scruffy, his shirt untucked and his tie missing. There were dark purple bags under his eyes; his skin was also clammy and pale. The more Iruka looked at the boy, the more he noticed. The more he did, the more he blamed himself for not seeing the boy sooner.
"I'm sorry that I haven't tried to make an appointment with you, Sasuke," Iruka began "my schedule's been all over the place as of recent, however I'm glad to see you made the effort to come here."
The boy didn't reply, merely looking at the hot cocoa as heat rose, dancing and twirling, interlocking briefly before disappearing.
Smiling, Iruka placed down his mug as he asked "How have things been since I last saw you?"
Coal eyes flickered upwards, looking at him. Well, at least the boy had recognised that he was being asked something. It was a start. A small one but it was something at least.
"How about we re-cap over our last session a little bit?" Iruka prompted, shifting before pushing himself into a standing position and heading over to his filing cabinet. Pulling out the piece of paper he wanted, he headed back over and sat down, placing the paper on the table.
"The last time you were here, we had a bit of an introduction," Iruka clarified "so, I introduced myself, told you what I was here for and we began to draw a kind of mind map." He pointed down at the paper as proof, before asking "Can you remember what we wrote down?"
A tongue peaked out to lick chapped lips, eyes flickering over to look at the paper as brows came forward into a frown. At least the boy was mulling it over now, Iruka noticed, sitting back in his chair once again.
"Categories."
Iruka blinked, not realising for a moment another voice had spoken in the room. Looking up from where his eyes had locked onto the paper, the brunette answered "That's right, can you remember what kind of categories? They were to do with you, weren't they?"
"Family, school, friends, home," the pale teen listed in a mutter, his hands interlocking slightly as his head tilted from the cup to the paper.
It was the first time the Uchiha's eyes had moved from the hot cocoa, Iruka noticed. Was there a story behind that?
Iruka made a noise of agreement, before picking up his drink. Caressing it absently, he looked down at the paper. Really, it was simple as to what they'd done; you only had to look down at the paper to see that. Yet it was fine, they were taking their time and for Iruka to actually get a response out of the teen was a breakthrough.
"You rated each of them out of 10, however we mostly focused on your school life during that session," the therapist watched the teen before him for any recognition. Had the teen lost weight? There were definite signs of that, his shoulders were no longer broad and his arms weren't as muscular as they had once been. Was he eating properly?
Iruka had an inclination that this boiled down to one thing, however he couldn't breach that topic until Sasuke was ready. Yet Iruka couldn't bear the thought of Sasuke eating himself up over this. Perhaps a nudge in the right way may help? It was certainly worth a try.
Clearing his throat, Iruka told the teen "Today I was thinking we could focus more on your friends, considering that was the second lowest rating, if that's alright with you?"
The teen merely grunted in reply, his eyes leaving Iruka to once again stare at the cup.
Iruka tried not to sigh, they were back to the one syllable game and by the stiffening of his shoulders, the therapist could tell this subject was going to be tough. There was so much that this boy had kept hidden from friends or family, from probably anyone. It made Iruka wonder just when exactly this all began…
"So, tell me about your friends."
The teen seemed to freeze at the mere words, his brows being pulled together and his lip was turned into a thin line. Unconsciously, pale hands retrieved the hot cocoa and caressed it tenderly in thought, which didn't go unnoticed by Iruka. Was it a safety blanket of some sort? Or maybe it reminded him of someone or something that had happened in the past…or maybe something that was still going on now? Whatever it was had brought memories to the surface, going by the dazed expression on his pale complexion.
"I wouldn't necessarily call them my friends," he whispered, his eyes captivated on the murkiness of the drink.
"Why's that?" Iruka questioned softly, understanding that this was perhaps a tender subject, close to the heart.
The teen remained immersed in tracing the cups rim with his finger, wiping away the traces of the cocoa power and watching intently as the steam rolled off. A soft sigh escaped through pale chapped lips, shoulders sagging as he did so.
Coal eyes then turned to look up at chocolate ones.
"Because, they were never mine in the first place, they were Naruto's."
Iruka's chocolate eyes widened slightly at hearing the name. He'd heard from Kakashi odd little details about his godson, the boy sitting in front of him now, and how he'd been completely spellbound by this girl. Kakashi had always joked about it, saying it was like watching a clumsy puppy trail after another pup, too afraid to speak and play together but thinking that if they followed them around then the other just may get the clue. When the silver haired teacher had told him, Iruka too had thought the couple seemed to be one of those high school lover tales.
So when he'd been informed of the news, well…it had been unfortunate. Iruka couldn't help but feel for the boy. From Kakashi's expression whenever he'd spoken of the two it had sounded like one of those love tales from books.
Admiration. That was the word Iruka would use to describe how he felt about the two. He was filled with admiration at hearing the twos encounters and tales. Always hearing about the pointless arguments the two had, always leaving him with an aching stomach when retold by Kakashi to him. The two, despite dating, should have really looked into being a comedy act.
"Th-The dobe always...had a way with words."
Iruka looked at the pale teen, hearing the tenderness in his soft voice and the half lidded gaze which wouldn't look away from the cocoa. His eyes seemed to twinkle in the lighting. Never once had the brunette heard the youngest Uchiha speak in such a soft, melodious voice, it had always been gruff yet smooth. Iruka batted down the smile that was pulling at his lips, knowing it would ruin this moment.
"She could draw this crowd to her, with one grin she'd have people feeling compelled to talk to her, to be around her..."
Iruka was drawn in to the pale teen's description, leaning forward as he rested his chin on his hands.
"Almost like magic, right?"
Onyx eyes flickered towards him, capturing his eyes and refusing to let go. The dance those eyes portrayed, an endless melody of emotions that played the tunes of his love. Iruka had fallen to their spell, compelled to read more from them. They told the hidden stories that had earlier been buried, not wanting to be shown in case of the mental anguish that would come from it. It was, in a way, much like Pandora's box. Yet instead of the bad, the evil, it was in fact the good, the sweet nature that the boy held. Perhaps it was his heart, beating strongly wrapped in the warmth of memories that he wished to protect from the anguish that loomed at the boxes lock. Yet holding those memories captive was doing no good to the boy, for he was a mere shell of what he could be. He needed the key to unlock those memories.
"Yeah," the raven whispered "like magic."
The blonde was infectious. No one would turn a blind eye and Iruka wasn't talking about her physical appearance, although that was debatable.
Yet staring at the boy before him now, Iruka couldn't help but come to the conclusion that he didn't hold the key that this boy needed.
No, he knew he didn't. As much as he would've liked to, he knew.
He knew really who held that key.
The question is, do they know that?
A/N: Hello my lovelies! I'm terrible sorry for not updating sooner. I just felt like I wasn't in the right mood to write this story. There's a certain mood I need to be in for me to write this story and boy have I been trying to get it back. The writing style is different, admittedly, however I hope you enjoyed the long awaited chapter.
I will admit, however, that I was losing motivation, much like a plane losing ammo. It was also coupled with a tooth ache that began sometime last week, which then turned out to be an abscess. God almighty, I looked like a frog. I actually defrosted some sausages due to the heat of my abscess! Phaha! Typically I got that on the first two days back at school. Great timing, aye? So, now I'm in pain, sleepy as hell (no sleep means the Grinch comes early) and disorientated. Happy days, aye?
Anyway, after that long arse explanation, please, if you haven't already, favourite and follow! Also, leaving a review would be absolutely lovely. As I've mentioned, my motivation is plummeting and I have a lot planned for this fic and I don't want to lose it, especially when the sort of end is near!
So, tell me what you thought, what could perhaps happen next or your opinion on characters or something.
Review! It means an update may be creeping to the finish line for your eyes to see! :)
Stay tuned,
Honey-Emily98